TBoneTX

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30 [...] Always in search of a good deal, the world's wealthiest man was reportedly eager to jump on a sweet Black Friday price and get the network for a steal instead of paying full price. Musk said you don't become wealthy without knowing how to shop for the biggest discount. "I'm always on the lookout for a good bargain," Musk reportedly told his inner circle. "I'm open to the idea of buying MSNBC, but nobody wants to pay full price for anything around this time of year. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-waiting-for-black-friday-half-off-sale-so-he-can-buy-msnbc-for-just-30

For once, all of these are great! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8 Better Things To Argue About During Thanksgiving Than Politics In a few days, Americans across the nation will be slaving away in the kitchen, setting the table, and launching headlong into heated arguments with their blood relatives. But with many families tired of the same old political disagreements, new argument topics are sorely needed. The Babylon Bee is here to solve this dilemma by offering up the following list of better things to argue about this Thanksgiving than politics: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/8-better-things-to-argue-about-during-thanksgiving-than-politics

Study Shows Most Depression In Men Can Be Solved By Reading Books About The Civil War While Sitting By Roaring Fire In The Study CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what experts praised as a significant breakthrough in the field of mental health, a new study showed that most cases of depression in men can be solved by reading books about the Civil War while sitting by a roaring fire in the study. The research data compiled showed a direct link between reading epic historical accounts of Civil War events while sitting by a fire and finding relief from the crushing weight of depression, giving millions of struggling men hope that help was just one book away. "Reading historical epics next to a crackling fire showed remarkable results," said Professor Ellis Kensington [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-most-depression-in-men-can-be-solved-by-reading-books-about-the-civil-war-while-sitting-by-roaring-fire-in-the-study

Santa's Elves Complain Of Declining Wages As Undocumented Elves Flood North Pole NORTH POLE — Elves in Santa's workshop marched out in protest this week to voice their complaints about declining wages due to an influx of undocumented elves flooding the North Pole. Several longtime members of Santa's toy assembly staff logged a formal complaint with the shop's elven resources department after yet another busload of undocumented elves from the south arrived. "Someone has to put a stop to this," Lead Elf Reggie Smallbottom told reporters. "We just got back online after Covid pretty much wiped out our earnings and then — BAMMO — here come all these elves flooding in from [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/santas-elves-complain-of-declining-wages-as-undocumented-elves-flood-north-pole

Yes! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'The View' Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements NEW YORK, NY — Following what had been a tumultuous election season and notable instances of panel members having to read legal notes on the air, the rating for The View soared after producers introduced ejection seats for when hosts make inaccurate statements. The seats were implemented this week as a new feature to deal with the mounting controversy surrounding members of the host panel making inflammatory claims that would later have to be retracted. Under the show's new format, any host found to have made an inaccurate statement will immediately be ejected from the set. "It's an exciting new wrinkle that will shake things up," said producer Brian Teta. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/the-view-ratings-soar-after-introducing-ejection-seat-for-when-hosts-make-inaccurate-statements

One of the BB's finest ever! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time [...] Trump has quickly assembled his roster of officials as he prepared to commence his second term as president, drawing strong reactions from analysts who hailed his team as by far the sexiest cabinet in American history. "I just can't stop ogling his picks, especially that Border Czar," said one political expert. "We've always known that Trump had an affinity for surrounding himself with beautiful people, but this new cabinet takes the cake. Not even the astounding mustaches and mutton chops found in the Martin Van Buren administration can hold a candle to this. Caroline Leavitt, Tulsi Gabbard, Pam Bondi, Tom Homan. That's an all-star team of hotness if I've ever seen one." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/its-official-trump-now-has-hottest-cabinet-of-all-time

Curiosity Cracked Open a Rock on Mars And Found a Big Surprise A rock on Mars spilled a surprising yellow treasure after Curiosity accidentally cracked through its unremarkable exterior. When the rover rolled its 899-kilogram (1,982-pound) body over the rock back in May, the rock broke open, revealing [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/curiosity-cracked-open-rock-mars-110316725.html

Like I said, a British thing that mere Colonists can't figure out.

Or be flogged or executed by firing squad, either of these in public.

That happened to me once on the jetway to a flight to Ecu. Some agent who didn't identify himself asked how much cash I was carrying. I said, "I gave some to my wife, so let me think... one thousand, six hundred..." The guy cut me off and wished me a good trip.

Life needs to be far fairer than it too often is.

I think that "Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too" is more accurately "Tippecanoe and Get Wet, Too!"

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Monday-on-Tuesday report, see man: Many-year-old chica was a waste of time, won't even meet her man. We were bummed but really shouldn't have been, saved ourself a lot of time man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din (at Many [2+2] p.m.) was a large 'roni 'za*, blow diet we man. *bought on special, financially savvy we man An overslept siesta was then taken, over-zzz we man. Replaced Many (2+1) laser-printer cartridges, we man. Arranged Starbucks rendezvous on Tuesday with Many-year-old chica, not a rubia man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

Biden Administration Leaves More Disasters To Clean Up [...] On the national front, despite their intentional refusal to guard the border or even vet illegal immigrants, having played a part in their electoral defeat earlier this month, Democrats have decided to make enforcement of our laws harder for their successors. [...] https://amac.us/newsline/society/biden-administration-leaves-more-disasters-to-clean-up/

NYC migrant allegedly throws pal's beloved pit bull off 14th-floor balcony -- and walks free: 'Murdered my dog for no reason' A Brooklyn migrant was busted -- and released -- for allegedly throwing a 2-year-old pooch to its death from a 14th-floor balcony earlier this month, leaving the dog's owner traumatized over the ruthless murder. [...] https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/nyc-migrant-allegedly-throws-pal-s-beloved-pit-bull-off-14th-floor-balcony-and-walks-free-murdered-my-dog-for-no-reason/ar-AA1ux2tt?ocid=BingNewsSerp

VERY positive-sounding. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Inside Trump's Second-Term Mission to Dismantle the Administrative State https://amgreatness.com/2024/11/24/inside-trumps-second-term-mission-to-dismantle-the-administrative-state/

This has been the case for a long time. And welcome to the forum.

Must be a British thing that we mere Colonists cannot understand.

The dude is toast, verily.

[T-B. industriously commences in-depth interviews of dental patients past and present]

Canadians have nothing to give thanks for or about. Do not irk, displease, or enrage the fearsome O ma'am, no man!

Thrilling Sunday report, see man: We did not leave the casa all day, no man. Felt lousy probably from allergens on Saturday, blecch man. Got late start on chores and really paid for it, man. Lunch was toucans of chicken noodle soup and onecan of sardines, ingest (sodium) we man. Watched football game, sucky loss man. Took demanding phone call from Mama T-B., man. Took siesta amidst juggling LLs, zzz we man. Din-din was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, again need to resort to those man. Finally finished chores just minutes ago, thought they'd never end man. No plans for Monday unless Many-year-old chica* indicates availability, no or si man. *not a rubia, sigh man No party with the rubias tonight, chored-out we man. And that was/is our thrilling Sunday, report we man.

"Once we were blind, but now we can si, man." Unless the answer is no, oj tak or oj nie man. This is NOT funny, no man. As stated, we are o'd-ing on sodium-laden products as the least of the evils, sigh man. Quite the opposite, whee* man. *in theory, see man

Tom Homan Introduces Family-Size Immigrant Trebuchet To Speed Up Deportation Process EL PASO, TX — Americans were assured that the solution to the migrant crisis along the southern U.S. border was close at hand, as soon-to-be Border Czar Tom Homan revealed plans to introduce a family-size trebuchet to speed up the deportation process. With the plan calling to use the new device to replace the existing single-person trebuchet, Homan said the family-size trebuchet will allow government officials to fling a significantly greater number of human beings back across the border at a time. "When we talk about throwing them out, we mean throwing them out," Homan told reporters at a press conference announcing the plan. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/tom-homan-introduces-family-size-immigrant-trebuchet-to-speed-up-deportation-process

Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching 'The View' KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Kevin Marlow successfully passed the bar exam today, after preparing by simply watching The View for one week. Though Marlow never attended a day of law school, he reportedly logged one of the best scores in history, preparing only with the daytime television show. "Watching The View is like attending a masterclass on the American legal system," explained Marlow. "Every day, you have [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/local-man-passes-bar-exam-after-just-a-week-of-watching-the-view