JamalNTam

Man I hate math! Right now i'm studying for some compass placement tests i'm taking today to enroll for the community college here! I know they are placement tests but i dont want to roll up and get 5 out of 100 - that would be horrible!!! Trouble is I havent done any algebra since I lfet school in 1999 and I have forgotten all of it!! I only started studying yesterday and its today! (Only found out i had to do it yesterday!) I have a reading test too and I have to get over 90 for it to get into the class i want - so fingers crossed that the american and english language arent that different! lol!

for anyone who's under 35 and out of work, there's a real easy solution to it all. join the military

Don't you have to at least have finished high school or have a GED to join the military, though? A lot of people caught in poverty don't finish high school so maybe the military isn't an option for them.

maybe you're wrong

*shrug* I wouldn't join the military anyway.

Yup - coz you have never been in the situation where it may be one of your only options to get ahead in life.

Clearly, you had some edges most in poverty do not- as I have as well ( A parent with a degree, and a very high IQ, and a middle class family). Most of the poor do not come from middle class families.

And you are correct- spanking is a cultural/generational issue. I was trying to make the point, that violence is more common in poor families.

I congratulate you on your success, and also my success. But, it certainly is not the norm, I believe, because the culture of poverty does not allow it to be.

The stress on a school child from poverty- is very different than that of a school child from adequate ( if basic middle class) means- and seriously affects school performance and life success. (i.e.- having a painful cavity for 2-3 or more weeks because you don't have health insurance- how well can you do in school?; having to babysit younger siblings after school, prepare dinner, do baths.... and check homework because Mom is working- when does your homework get done?; having to work the 3-11 pm shift- walk home and wake at 4 to do homework so you can be an "A" student and break the cycle of poverty.)

The worry, stress, and hopelessness that come with growing up in poverty creates a permanent poor.

It is superhuman to break out of this. And it totally depends on parenting that raises you to be resilient and persevering. Many hopeless parents cannot embrace and preach resilience and perseverance if they don't believe it exists.

Just my thoughts.

I agree! Jamal grew up 'poor' in North Philly. He found that the military was his only escape. He's very clever but due to certain situations in his life he did not get the grades needed to go to college. He grew up knowing what its like to be hungry, wondering why he was even here and having to work from the age of 10 to support his family. He is a very strong person and I'm so proud of him that he overcame the things that happened to him early in life. He tells me that many people who grew up on his block are still there to this day. It's not they chose this life, its because they are not as strong as him and its very wrong to blame these people and say its their fault, they chose this poor life.

Some people do have choice - but there are alot of people out there in the states who didnt have the choice. They were born into poor families, in bad neighbourhoods and have never had much encouragment from people around them and the government.

Yey! I got my driving permit!!!

Lol! Thanks guys! Yea - there are some crazy drivers out here thats for sure! Just gotta do it I guess - will be stuck in the house all day otherwise. I'm actually going to for my 1st walk since I've been here! lol! Jamal couldnt get the day off so I'm just going to walk to the DMV! (just a couple of miles!) Yup, it's a lot hotter here than the UK, but I love the heat so no problems there! lol x

We are in the US because Jamal is still in the airforce and he had to return! But when he gets out he wouldnt think about living in the UK. He lived there for 2 years and just didnt like the weather!!!!

Well I got my SSN today! I'm glad that I didnt wait the whole 2 weeks before I applied. So tomoro I'm going to go to the DMV and apply for my permit and ID - I've been studying the manual so it should be ok. I'm really hoping to go back and apply got my actual driving license in 2 weeks - I'm not giving myself long to learn, but I'm confident I'll be able to get it - so at least I'll have the freedom then - I just love the fact that AZ will extend the DL with the application of AOS - so I wont be without! I'm also going to try and enroll into the community college this week. After many worries about having to pay international student price (since I've only been here a little over 2 weeks) we have found out that I will be able to pay instate fees as I'll be a military spouse before the course starts! (dental assistant) .. so I have a lot to do in the next few weeks and I'm really excited everything is going good so far!

For anyone who is doing their AOS in Tucson, I recommend the Concentra Medical Centre. They were really friendly, fast and helpful. I just went in for the vaccination suppliment sheet and the lady knew exactly what she was doing. She checked my records, did her paper work and handed me back the I-693a in a sealed envelope and a copy for my own records after getting the CS to sign it. It was only $15 - which is the best I could find on the panel. The rest in Tucson were charging me around $80!!!

I will be submitting my AOS in July. I keep seeing posts that there is a new skin test required for TB. Will I need to get this done or will my medical, which I had in London in April be ok? I went to the CS yesterday and got my vaccination suppliment done - so I have everything ready to send of for AOS once we get married. Is this TB skin test just for people who have not had their medical yet/people who DHS has lost their medical or for everyone now??

Ok I think I may have figured it out now - basically its for people who havent had their medical yet? Here in states they only tend to only do the x ray if skin test comes back positive? But since my xray was clear - I should be all good .... sorry - just a moment of panic!!

My name comes up with nothing (both with my name now and what it will be once I'm married). Jamals came up with an actor in a movie directed by Hype Williams!

Do I just need to bring the vaccination document worksheet that was given to me at my visa medical and my passport???

You need the Texas drivers handbook - download it - study it and there will be another easy peasy theory test at the driving centre computer which asks questions like - if you are standing at a red light and it changes and a pedestrian is standing in front of you - should you mow them down or wait for them to cross - i kid you not there are questions like that.

When they try and take your UK licence from you - (they think it is 'out of state') - refuse and say it is the property of the queen and you can't give it over - they will shrug and give you your texas licence

Anyone who can parallel park in a hole the size of the Thames valley is considered incredibly accomplished - after being used to parking in Paris, it was mega easy on a huge wide quiet straight road with no traffic and a hole 6 Cadillacs could park in...

LOL

In AZ you have the choice to do either a 3 point turn or parallel park depending on the test centre you go to! Luckily the centre for the 3 point turn is just round the corner from me and it's called the Stocker centre, which is my last name - it is a sign! lol

I also get very, very worried when flying, especially during take off. I absolutly hate it! My palms sweat, I start to cry and if I'm traveling by myself I feel sorry for the person sitting next to me! Luckily, I've only ever canceled a vacation once due to my anxiety. (cheap weekend trip to Sweden). I do fly quite frequently- last year alone I took over 13 flights because I refuse to let my anxiety get the better of me! I refuse to let it stop me from doing one of the things I love, which is to explore other cultures and places. Anyway - I was taking hypnotherapy classes back in England and decided to ask my hypnotherapist to help me out for my up and coming flight to the states. Well, the last flight I took to Phoenix may have been one of the most bumpy flights I've taken but I was at ease! Even during take off I actually looked out of the window and felt calm. Normally I have my face in my hands crying and shaking!! So it worked for me - granted I've taken just 1 flight but it was nice to actually sit back and relax for once!!!

I just waited to get my license here in the states. I didnt need a license in the UK and I will be applying for my permit once my SSN arrives (hopefully next week) and then I plan to test for the actual license 2 weeks later (after driving around on the roads of Tucson with Jamal!). The tests are ALOT easier here than in England and I'm pretty confident I'll pass it quickly!

thanks guys

... regarding copy of passport. So I know I have to copy the biometical page and visa/I-94 page - but do I need to copy every single page apart from those?

I'm getting my forms filled out way in advance here (will be submitting after July 12th) and was wondering on the I-485 on the part about when visa expires - for a K1 do I put the actual expiry date printed on the visa or 90 days since I entered the country? Also the A number on my visa - do I put that under the A# section or the visa number section? Thanks

AHHH OK - I just hope I'll be able to get my certified certificate the day after the wedding myself! I really need to make that July 30th deadline! lol!

so taurean and Bora Bora were both incorrect to send their licence?

ok - so I can send a copy of the certified license and not a copy of the actual certified marriage certificate? Thats what I meant. I just wanted to make sure the license was ok and not the actual certificate because we want to send our AOS as soon as we get married and we are worried about waiting for the actual certificate because we dont want to pass the 30th July.

No matter what anyone says he has made up his mind. They fact that they are not compatible is being overlooked by everyone. You guys must realize that its very hard to determain how things will be in a relationship if you've never lived with that person, let alone the same country. Couples move in with each other all the time only to find they cant adjust to the habits that the other had which only showed once they lived together. Why is everyone trying to promote an unhappy, unhealthy marriage just for the sake of it being an 'oath'. They are both young and deserve to find happiness else where if they cant find it in each other. And please stop saying that this girl has been taken from her country and abandonded. From some of the statements that have been written by OP shows that she is infact unhappy with relationship too and again I refer to the fact that she wants to stay in the states and doesnt want to return to her own country.

so you can send certified copies of the marriage license and not the actual certified certificate?

We're both Capricorns - his is 01/08 and mine is 01/13

Why are some people acting like he forced her here?? It obviously cant be that bad for her if she is asking for money so she can relocate somewhere in the USA. It would be different if she wanted to go back to Colombia, but she doesnt. Nobody here really knows the situation and to jump down his throat saying he's an a$$hole is wrong. Yes, marriage is a big thing, but they are obviously not happy. I guess I was lucky in the respect that I have lived with my fiance and been in the same country as him for 2 years, in all honestly, I could not imagian marrying someone I have never lived with. This is a risk that many do take, but people should not be surprised that many do end in the big D.