Partita

First of all thank you to every one that gave me there suggestions. Secondly, let me remind you that this is not a fraudulent marriage, I approached my husband to go to counseling, he refused. He does not speak English well, or hardly so he has the mentality of why go to people for help. Secondly, if I an American born raised woman, could stay in India for one year, and let me remind you, I've only been there each time for our relationship, engagement, marriage, visa appointment. India, is not the place I see myself returning, I was shocked at how a woman was always under the control of her family, well this family I married in to. I was not allowed to leave with out others. We lived in Chandigarh, a city....Long story short, I know how much I despised being in a country without my family, or having the freedom to walk were I wanted or when I wanted to...But did so, only for my husband to be by my side to start our lives. I also knew and was okay with his parents living with us in the future he is the only son after all... HIs dad resides in New York, he is an illegal has been for 25 years.
Whenever we had an issue it was escalated to a family meeting, I prefer my personal life private. But since it's an arranged marriage we got family involved. After numerous sit-downs, I was told I was over reacting about finances. Yes, I do not intent to live with my parents my entire life. And it hurts that he has to send 80% of his income to India. Yes, he should realize that I work and attend school as well, and sacrificed numerous opportunities of attending nursing school, for my husband do to being in India. I'm not upset he's sending money to India, just most of it. I have a great relationship with his parents, Always communicate with them on a regular basis. But they just tell me he'll mature after a while. Or the fact that I should not be selfish and move to Texas where his one cousin lives. Ironic, this was spoken about prior to marriage. HIs dad seems to be not considering that most of my units will not transfer to Texas University, I already checked, and my entire family extended and all live in California, his Dad lives in New York, so I would expect him to move there......
Long story short, I filed for divorce today, after the last sit-down meeting yesterday. I have no proof, I packed my belongings and left., my household. In the process of changing my number, but really can't, my mom is terminally ill from Leukemia, and another reason I live at home, to care for her. I signed a pre-nup prior to marriage to make sure the inheritance I received from my grandparents in a couple years wasn't taken. I sent the Indian embassy letters of what is going on and how he wants to get married in India again....
the Last information you guys should know is, in 2004 his dad paid a woman from the states to India to bring his son over through fiancé visa, he was caught. It made it extremely difficult for his fiancé visa to be approved with me thus ended in denial. That was the main issue I had to stay in India to prove a bonfide marriage...God watches all, I can not be bought, nor will I ever except his money. I am and have been self made my entire life, living with my parents because of our culture....

Yeah, I'm sorry, but tell me there is more to this than just you wanted to use something so ridiculous against her.

I found this thread by accident... and I could not stop reading it. What a story! You might want to consider writing a book based on what happened to you.
I wish you a very happy life, and I wish your son gains good health.
Partita

Hi, all!
I do have good news.
I just heard from my immigration attorney, my VAWA petition was approved!!!!
What to say, it's nearly the happiest day in my life! I'm just so excited to start new life feeling myself like a person, not a prisoner locked up in bad circumstances.
As for my child support case they just started enforcing the money, but for some reason I'm getting only child support or spousal support each month and never both, they say it will take time to get it work properly, this process depends on his employer and other factors. However, I'm happy to know that soon I can get a work permit. I'm not quite sure whether I have to stop going to school (I'm taking ESL classes now) and find a job immediately or not.
But I am in a big need of car. I really need to get a driver's license. Because the transportation system here is very bad, and my son's school is not on a way to anything, it takes me about 6 hours a day to get around (to his school - to my school - to animal shelter where I volunteer - to his school again - home). And he keeps getting sick from all those germs. This is probably the biggest challenge for me right now. But at least one of the banks finally let me to open an account. It's just a debit card but it helps me pay some of the bills so I don't have to physically go places to do it. With this card my life became so much easier, that's for sure!
So life is getting better and better and I'm glad that one day I decided to make a difference and many of you supported. Thank you.
It's interesting that from the time they received it and to the time they approved has been only 10 months. Just a miracle! Or maybe it's not only luck but a result of constant work and not giving up. I'm grateful for that chance to have same rights as every other person and I hope many of those who suffered in a past can get hope and opportunity to move on and just be free.

My fiance uses Facebook and became friends with most of my family here in the US. She talks to my parents and my sister more than I do. They cannot wait until she gets here, and I know that will be a huge advantage for her. She wont feel isolated and when I am at work she will be with my sister and her kids. Having that support will help her transition quickly. She is going to leave her family in Vietnam, but when she gets to the US she will have a mother and father and sister waiting for her. Also she has friends in the US that she stays in contact with. We have talked about her going to school to improve her English. She wants to be able to speak fluently and she knows that will better her chances to find work. I have also read stories on VJ "the horror stories" as they are called. But it is no different than stories about non foreign couples. Everybody has hard times but the hard times just wake you up to the good stuff that you might have missed before. My parents will celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary in August and they are a great example for me. My father gives me great advice, I am smart enough now to follow it. When I was younger I thought I knew everything and I didn't want to listen to anyone. Now that I grew up, I realize that he was right all along!

One thing which surprised me is that the feeling of homesickness can come and go over the years.
I didn't feel at all homesick for about the first year - I was so excited and happy to finally be together. Then at the end of that first year I suddenly did feel homesick which was a big surprise. Then it went away. Then the following year I had a baby and it came back again because I missed being around all my family and friends for those first few months after the baby was born. Then it went away again. Then my mother died at the beginning of this year and it's come back again - in fact quite a strong longing to go home.
My point is that homesickness isn't something which only happens in the first few months for a new immigrant, and it's not necessarily connected to how well adjusted or how nice a life you have in your new country. It's something that the US spouse needs to be sensitive to for the whole marriage.

its a human system nothing is perfect still beats anything else out there by a long shot.good people work there doing their best with what they have, they are overwhelmed with the massive case loads coming in on pallets there so many. could it be better....yes much better. but I don't like seeing usa and joke in same sentence

The person never said they had to live together before getting married. Get a grip.

I was not rude and never said anything about living together before married.
I said you need to be married.
And live together.
Perhaps you try and read again?
Thanks!

Also, completely unrelated, if I didn't understand a religion, how would I know that was religion related?
Since you're throwing your almighty knowledge around and all.

It is even more upsetting to see the illegals going on street protests demanding more rights in this country, which they broke the law to enter, obtain work, welfare, and free schooling.
So good for the hospitals to send the illegals home.

It is so upsetting to see half of my check, HALF, in taxes, so that others can live here illegally. Good for the hospital.

Our laws should be changed similar to the laws in UK, children born to illegals do not get automatic US citizenship.

But was this man illegal? after 30 yrs...article did not say that...I think human to human its wrong
if he was legal paid SS & tax then fell on hard times and discarded like garbage by a hospital, if
he was unconscious how could they have talked to him...wow

Conviction on a domestic charge can get an immigrant deported. Its the law, and a good one for the most part.
You give nothing in the way of details on her immigration status at the time, the charges and obvious conviction, or what you did to fight those charges. All I see is complaints about the police report and evidence and how you're upset your wife may now be deported. Actually you haven't even given the grounds she's being deported under.
She arrived in June, 2011, did she ever adjust status?
What was she convicted of?
Who called the police?
Did you have physical injuries or scratches?
Did you hire a good lawyer to fight the charges?
Has she been called into an immigration hearing?
Grabbing a knife and threatening physical harm is a serious crime. Removing criminals from our country protects not just you, but other citizens. I can see the point of view of the prosecutor given the little information you've given about how the police reported the incident. I can understand you love your wife, if you felt the police report was incorrect, you needed to fight this as strongly as you could before she got convicted. Now that she is convicted, which I'm assuming since you say you're awaiting her removal, you need to appeal the conviction as vigorously as you can. This isn't about people's freedom, you're not free to bring dangerous individuals into the country just because you love them, this is about the law and how no one is above it. Had such a conviction existed on her record before she got the K-1, she never would have been allowed to enter in the first place. So if you want to keep her here, you need to act to prove the conviction was wrong and get it removed from her record. If she's already been given the deportation order, then you're probably too late.

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Could you please explain how did you get all these benefits? People are working hard while immigrating, and they pay taxes, and a lot of them cannot afford any kind of health insurance, and they still carry on. This is simply unfair to Americans that make a minimum wage per hour and do not receive any benefits, yet they still help others and don't cheat the system. You are tired? Of what?You are using the benefits of this Country illegally, and seem to enjoy it. Do you have any physical disabilities?

The first part of this is okay as long as they can look themselves in the mirror and honestly say that they come to the US on the VWP just to visit and then just happened to find the person of their dreams and got married. This is like first degree murder verses second degree murder. Did you sit there and plan the whole thing out or was it "in the heat of the moment"? So that is why the second part is illegal as now the intent is to remain in the US when entering on the VWP. This is the main reason you hear here on VJ about people not being able to get a tourist visa from country X. It is because too many of their fellow country people and others throughout the world have entered the US on a tourist visa or other non-immigrant means and remained. So the Embassies are making it so hard to get a tourist visa that most people cannot just visit the US.
What you are proposing is no different than flying to Mexico or Canada and crossing the US border into the US. The only difference is that you will have proper documentation of the entry. You may get away with it for a while, but at some point the USCIS will discover the fraud and then deport the foreign spouse for immigration fraud. There is no statue of limitations on that, so if they discover it in 5 years or 25 years it can happen. Then your family will be one of those on the 6 o'clock news trying to get someone to help keep your family from being broken up as the foriegn spouse is deported. I've seen it too many times on our local news where the "immigrant" has been in the US for 10 or 15 years with children and all of a sudden they are facing deportation due to being in the country illegally.
Life is full of choices. The choice to get married in the US. The choice to return home before the AOS was complete. The choice to return to the US on the VWP. The choice to remain and file for AOS again. The choice to live life in fear of deportation. The choice to file for a spousal visa and do it the legal way. Your life. Your choice. Your conquenses. Hypothetically speaking of course.
Good luck and may you choose wisely,
Dave

Please use paragraphs! That was really hard to read. i had to edit it to make it readable. My responses are in red above.
Basically you need to send stuff spanning the marriage. Don't change the mortgage, don't change the deed, don't change the vehicle titles. That's all manufactured.
If you have health insurance show proof he's insured.
Birthday, anniversary, christmas cards etc.
If you have pets proof you're both contacts/parents.

Hold on, first off the hearing officer only asked how things were going. I said fine. So shoot me! I didn't profess a list of wonderful events or claim she was an angel. I was asked how things were and I said fine. The rest of the hearing was about standard questions like criminal history, nothing was asked about the relationship. I thought we might be discussing our counseling but that was never discussed. So I didn't go in and say anything about the marriage being good. I just showed we got married, shared a bank account and lived together. All true at the time. What did I say wrong?
As far as my daughter goes, we talked about the problems since it first began. My daughter wanted to try to make this work. I offered her the ability to go to a friends house any time she wanted too. She chose to stay with her step mom hoping things would get better. They just never did. I do care for my daughter. She and I have a very close relationship and she knows if she has a problem I will fix it. She had a list of friends ready to take her in while I was away. it was her choice to stay and try to make it work.
Some of you talk as if I saved a rapist or child molester. All I did was go to a hearing I was asked to attend by the government. No, I didn't go out of my way and say..."she is a ######!" Is this what some of you believe I should have done? If I was going to do that, then why bother going at all. I should have just kept working. I was told by a USCIS phone rep that in order to qualify for the exemption to staying married, my wife will have to show evidence of abuse. How true that is I don't know.
I really had just hoped for some insight from others who had something similar. I don't need a lecture about how to interact with women or hear what a bad father I am. I know I'm a good father. I'm sure if I was to see each one of you in your relationships I could point out some serious illogical behavior. We don't need to insult each other about how we react with women (or men for the ladies). It's a well known fact that some of the stupidest decisions are made when it involves love. Why else would we spend thousands on a ring, spend countless hours in the mall and watch movies about love instead of a good football game. Seriously, we all have probably done it. If you say you haven't, I think you are a liar!
I gladly welcome anyone's response if it is to offer advice or experience. Please keep your lectures to yourself. I do take care of my daughter and she was never in danger.
Thank you for your replies.

Try and get her pregnant? How will he do that without her consent? Obviously that is a separate conversation you need to have with your daughter
good luck

Who knows? He may be in love with her for real. Don't you think your daughter can be loved by somebody?

Could you please explain how did you get all these benefits? People are working hard while immigrating, and they pay taxes, and a lot of them cannot afford any kind of health insurance, and they still carry on. This is simply unfair to Americans that make a minimum wage per hour and do not receive any benefits, yet they still help others and don't cheat the system. You are tired? Of what?You are using the benefits of this Country illegally, and seem to enjoy it. Do you have any physical disabilities?

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