Member9

Yeah, different people have different experience and stories and are in different situations too. Therefore, their reactions to the same issue are also different. For a person in Manhattan, NY not being able to drive a car is not a matter, but for someone in Fall River, WI, it means being disabled. Not having a heater might not bother someone living in Fresno, CA, but for someone living in Maine, it means a miserable life. I always try not to make fun of people's misery or be judgmental, even in a place where no one can really find out who I really am like an online forum. After all, it doesn't hurt to be nice, even when we differ.
Thank you for the nice words, Melbi&Clint.

Oh sweetie, I am sorry - he sounds like a mean guy You know, it's probably going to be better just to let him go - just let him go and do his thing, whatever that might be, and you'll be alright and feel back to normal eventually. It's just never easy getting divorced or breaking up with someone.
The other posters are right though - they are his papers. But now, I'd not worry about them. It'll be way too much heartache and mental stress to fight I think. He's already done you wrong and made you sad - let it be. I did - I signed that divorce decree when I got it, and gave my ex everything he wanted (including the house which he's now lost to foreclosure...hahaha..oh...sorry...was that a laugh there?). I ended up with peace, a simple life, and happiness. And a great guy with whom I am extremely happy and who treats me like a queen! You'll find all of that as well.
As for visa fraud...as an Englishwoman myself I can tell you that would be hiiiighly unlikely. The US, economically speaking at least (and this would make sense if it's all about the money) is a lot weaker than the UK, many trillions of dollars in debt and to all ends, if money were what he were after, sticking in England would have been a better idea. Had it not been for my ex, I wouldn't have thought about moving to the states at all. So don't feel used like that - I seriously doubt be used you to get a green card!
Anyway hugs to you (F) XX

He does act mean and irresponsible to you and you do need to protect yourself.
You need to cut every avenue he could use to hurt your credit further - cell phone including. Then tell him that he should take care of the bills he incurred immediately and that if he does not - you will procrastinate with giving him the divorce he wants.
That should work
As far as assembling the divorce application together - you are in the right. Under the circumstances, I don't think either of you should trust or expect to be trusted. When people break up they often act mean, even if they are the ones who chose to walk out. It does not mean he did not love you though. Years later when everything is ancient past - find him and ask him, only then he will be able to give you the honest answer.

And yes, just tell your friends to drop the subject, don't dwell on it, move on and think positive! What better revenge than to have a happy life

I have to agree with everything Tayrivers has said. The immigration papers were not stolen, they were his to take.
For your own sake you really do need to let him go and move on with your own life. My USC husband left me just 7 months after I arrived here on a K1 so I know how difficult it is having your marriage end so suddenly. Moving on is not easy and it will take time but you must start doing that now if you want to preserve your sanity.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this more privately - I kind of know what you're going through.

The why, where, & how are irrelevant at this point. You need to focus on you from this point forward. If it was not him, it would have been someone else for something different just as unhealthy or healthy. You need to grow and learn from this experience. Do not think about what you could have done differently. Think about what you can do differently for yourself emotionally & spiritually to be stronger and prevent yourself from being in another unhealthy relationship. We are only as healthy as the people we keep in our lives.
Accept your experience as a blessing and opportunity on to bigger and better things. You are one amazing women to endure this process. Just think of other things you can accomplish and overcome now that you have been through this journey.

Agreed. Even family members and very close friends never know the whole story of a couple's relationship. I have seen friends stay with someone who did horrible things to them and as an outsider have been absolutely dumbfounded. Similarly I have seen people walk out of a relationship that seemed to be working very well. I have decided not to judge friends for their relationship decisions and just to try to help them and to get along with their significant others no matter how I think of them. So, this is a long introduction to say, go with what you feel, not with how others analyze the situation.
You will probably never know what your husband's motivations were throughout the dating process and when entering into marriage. Moreover, most people (not just immigrants) are moved by a variety of considerations in these matters-- in addition to love, friendship, and perceived long-term compatibility, many are motivated by things like financial security, fear of staying alone, wish to start a family, social pressure, convenience, and yes, immigration status or the possibility to move to a more desirable country. Most individuals are complex and so are most relationships.
Of course, there are scammers who do anything, everything just to get a GC over the back of an unsuspecting USC. But from reading your account, this doesn't seem to be the case in your relationship. I would say, as hard as it is, try to focus on picking up the pieces and taking good care of yourself, not on making his life more difficult.
Best of luck! You will be very happy again one day.

Only the 2 persons involved in a love relationship know what happens in it.
You have good friends, they love you and they must be angry at him because he hurt you, maybe he is hurt too and they can't see it. I would have taken all the paperwork related to my status too, nothing to do with fraud or finishing an obscure plan. Just for common sense, especially if I knew that I had to revise my options latter.
Good luck.

I am sorry that this has happened to you, But unless you have solid evidence that he used you to obtain immigration benefits, then there is nothing that you can do.
Going to USCIS and telling them your story is not going to get him deported or get his Greencard revoked. You signed the Affidavit of Support and that is binding regardless of any divorce. You may never know what his real intentions were so all you can do is move on with your life.
As for him stealing the Immigration file, It is actually his immigration applications and is his to take. You say he paid for everything well that is a good sign, at least he did not use all your money and then leave you with nothing. Believe me if he was really using you he could have cleaned you out and totally wrecked your credit rating and claimed all sorts of Government aid that you would have had to pay back. He could have claimed physical and mental abuse and got the police involved so he would have evidence to use to enable him to remove conditions on his own.
I know you are hurting and looking for anything that will give you answers, sometimes you just have to let go and try to get your life back on track. Your friends are just being friends and like you are looking for a reason to lay blame on him. Them encouraging you to do something about him, go to USCIS and tell them he used you, are all ways to make them and you feel better, because in your mind you can then say "well at least I did something" But as I said unless you have hard evidence that he has committed fraud then USCIS are just going to see your complaint as a way at getting back at him for walking out on you.
Try to find a Lawyer who will give you 1st appointment free so that you can lay out your fears to someone who can look at just the facts. They can also give you advice as to where you go from this point.
Good Luck.

Dear Zilla,
a man who did not love you could not have possibly lived with you for 1 year and 3 months (that's what I see in your siggy). Especially, since he speaks English and I don't assume he needed financial help from you. I don't know your story, so I am assuming here about financials. If he always planned on walking, he would have left sooner. Unless... did he just wait to receive conditional GC?
As far as paperwork goes - yeah, he took it to protect himself and he will need it to remove conditions, if he already has conditional GC. Put yourself in his place - would not you do the same? It does not mean he scammed you, and I don't think you can call it stealing - while you did the paperwork and prepared that folder - it is his paperwork as well. Did he steal anything apart from paperwork? Did he try to take advantage of you somehow (apart from GC)? If not, then I'd say take comfort in that he did love you. People who are after GC are also usually after money etc. They take all they can.
Good luck,
Rika

Greater efficiency within USCIS (yes, I know some of you are reeling at that and wondering what efficiency) but the truth is that it is due to greater efficiency in processing cases, after the IMFA reform, that brought about the 2 year conditional green card. Take a look at the process a couple of decades ago, and you'll learn that an application to adjust status took so much longer to process and schedule for an interview. In fact, each step of the process took longer. As such there were very few if not no aliens that would find themselves at the point of an interview to adjust status without having been married to their US citizen spouse for at least 2 years and often times much more. Therefore, when adjudication of those applications occured, there was sufficient history established between the couple from which to make a proper and accurate determination of the bonafide nature of the marriage. Now, applications for adjustment of status come current and are on an AO's desk within months of filing, many times applications submitted by aliens that were recipients of expedited visas, as in the case of the K type visa. So it is simply not possible in the current trend to accurately assess the real bonafide nature of the marriage by the time the file reaches the IO's desk. As a result, the conditional card is issued to all aliens, save for those that have clearly insufficient evidence of a genuine marriage, or those that appear to be openly fraudulent.
Therefore, at the stage to remove those conditions, the USCIS has yet one more opportunity to take a look at the genuine nature of the marriage and if make certain it passes the "litmus test" as it were. So, in summation, it's not that one has already demonstrated that the marriage was legitimate at AOS, and as such no further demonstration is required. It's more a case of the USCIS was content with the evidence presented by the couple initially, and if all things continue to support those bonafides (even in cases where the couples have since deivorced), chances are the I-751 will be approved.

russian_armenian,
Thank you for your answer straight to the point.
Could you send me the link to the memo from 2005 (I couldnt find it on USCIS site, you must be more proficient then me on e-search).??
My ground for divorce is cruel and inhuman treatment - in one word: abuse.
Most of the people that didnt deal with abusive spouses, have no idea how bad it is. They can only imagine but... feeling/experience is entirely different. The effect/trauma caused by it (especially if the abuse is mental or emotional) can take years to heal. If it get that bad that you get mentally ill, you might never recover.
I was very close to that stage. A letter from my doctor to an organisation that deals with domestic violence cases and proper medication + counseling, saved me.
Too bad that not too many people know what abuse is, so they would recognise it and be able to protect themselves.
In case of immigrant women: to gather evidence and be able to prove it.
Some people that answered on this forum think that calling the police when a domestic violence incident occurs is that easy!
Well, is not easy at all. If you are a immigrant woman has no cell phone, no car, no friends and nowhere to go + you live in the backyard of the abuser's parents property wich is enclosed by a tall fence and all this is in the middle of a forest ... well, you might think twice... because if you manage somehow to call the cops, you better have another place to go next day ... or you risk your own life. Because, think about it... who would report you missing ? The criminals who baried you in their backyard?
They can as easy say: she left because she had a lover or whatever other story ... who would care about that immigrant or try to find out what really happened to her ???
One thing is for sure: if the immigrant women is treated decently, she would not seek help with domestic violence organizations (to get in one of their programs, to get help from them, you have to prove your spouse is an abusive person. They know and recognize the pattern and behaviour of the abuser).
But the story and what is abuse... in another topic as I promised.
I try to keep it only on legal matters, laws, memorandum and legal strategy/research.

Speculation, so with a grain of salt: once someone has permanent residency, it's hard to take it away. Marriage is the easiest path to residency and citizenship, and if all one had to do was get married to get a permanent card with no check at all it would be an even more attractive target for fraud.
They can interview couples whom they suspect are not bona fide. And someone who divorces shortly after being married probably isn't better off divorced. They'll still need to show that they entered into the marriage with good intentions, and that's going to be harder (among other things, they have less evidence due to the shorter marriage, a former spouse who may be acrimonious, etc.) The real risk of someone not being able to file to remove conditions on their own following a divorce is a situation where someone has to choose between staying in a marriage that's fallen apart and being kicked out of the country.
And you might move back. But there's no reason that other people should have to, if their intentions were bona fide. There's plenty of reasons; one could have a good career, one could have uprooted the kids and they're just settling into school, etc.

Thing is, I uprooted myself, left my family, my friends, my stuff, everything, and am quite settled here after over a year. But, if my marriage was to fall apart, I wouldn't be scrambling around trying to get myself a 10yrGC. I moved here to be with my spouse, and for no other reason. If for some reason my marriage fell apart within a year or two (which is the time frame I am questioning), I'd be going back home to my friends and my family. Tail between my legs - Yes - but I'd go back. There is just no ulterior motive on my part.

You will never understand the emptiness,pain and uncertainitiy of divorce until you have been there so please save your plans....I hope you never go through it.
In my opinion what the USC/ALIEN decides with their lives afterwards should save each other further pain.If there was really love in the first place what gain would there be to see the one you once loved worse than they were before the marriage? The whole AOS via USC spouse can be on its own a platter for abuse.... one solely depending on the other for right to be "legal" on the other hand an oppurtunist could take advantage of the benefits of marriage. Simply an imperfect solution for an imperfect world.

Bona fide is just bona fide intentions. It doesn't require a judgment of whether the couple really thought it through before getting married, or an assessment of compatibility or whether they'd be likely to make it long term. It doesn't require anyone to be attractive or sensible or anything. (And a good thing, too! Lots of people would be screaming about how they couldn't get the initial visa if they had to prove compatibility.)
And it might not be about establishing a career in two years. It might be that you'd be a shamed woman if you went back home divorced, or that after two years you're starting to settle in, or that you don't have much to return to at all, etc. Or that, hell, you've just uprooted your life and are starting to get settled. Many do go home.
And it's not as easy as you think. One has to prove bona fide intentions *and receive the conditional green card*, and then to petition on one's own, one would have to have the divorce finalized in time to lift conditions. There's a number of posts from people whose marriage is failing but they're still married when it's time to remove conditions. Divorces take time, as the OP understands.
To the OP: get an attorney. I don't know the laws on your state on annulment (it's usually hard to get one a year into a marriage) but the thing is, neither does anyone else here. You'll want whatever divorce/annulment that occurs to happen in a way that it's in your favor, and attorney is going to be your best bet for that.

Justahooter,
I dont even want to mention that immigrants have uprooted themself, and going back home is the same as start from the scratch (everything was sold for pennies, job was quited, network is lost; in many countries devorcees to succesful man are viewed as loosers, etc). Sure with effort, life back home would be normalized again (and after all the stress and effort put into family here and to get a job in US, etc).
But even to go back home, OP needs to finalize divorce; it would be difficult to do cross-countiries. So, are you suggesting to agree with husband and consent to fraud charges? Is that the option OP should take? It might not be a WAVA case but some more or less typical situation many USC/USC divorcees are experiencing. But for immigrants it is double stressful due to uncertainty in status and future.
Plus, I know some girls who got divorced their succesful USC husbands. Very painfull time because all of them hoped to have a nice life and a loving husband was part of that dream and nothing told them that USC would not be that man they dreamed for. Living together sometimes just does not work. But there is nothing wrong in wanting to have a nice life (as long as you dont deliberately use the somebody).

I started this topic trying to find answers to legal issues, from the legal point of view and according to the laws and proceedings in US.
The moral, emotional and psychological issues regarding my case, I will discuss them on a new topic.
Not because I want or need anybody's compassion or understanding but because, it has been a learning experience for me and I think it will be useful for the immigrant women that are engaged or married with American Citizens and intend to immigrate to US or are in an abusive relationship ...

Nevertheless, the standard for approval is "entering the marriage in good faith", not "having a successful marriage". People who come here legitimately and legally often leave their lives and careers behind, then start new lives and careers here. Once they have conditional LPR status, they are allowed to continue their lives here, if their initial immigration was legitimate.

If I was king, you'd be my court jester. I'd also have a kung fu monkey as a body guard.

I haven't replied to any of these threads and I have been reading them for days. However, just telling an individual to go home kind of sickened me. I moved to Turkey for a man (it did not work out, he left me to go to "work" my 4th week there). Before I left, my stepmother told me that I would be home in 2 months. I had a pride I had to uphold. I was raped in Istanbul my sixth month there. I wanted to leave but I was ashamed that my stepmother would be correct and I would come home like a dog with my tail in between my legs. My friend (female), encouraged me to stay in Turkey. I went to the southeastern region. I met my husband there. One of the most wonderful people I have met in my life. I stuck it out. Sometimes home is not the answer. I am sorry but sometimes, you have to prove to others and yourself you are strong enough to make it in a foreign land. I stayed in Turkey for 2 and 1/2 years. I moved back to the States because Turkey is too different for me. However, if someone is comfortable in a place they are in and want to stick it out. I say more props to 'em and good luck!!!

I also agree youre letter isnt clear at all. With out pushbrks post I wasnt quite sure what your letter was about.
I would suggest rewording it a bit- opening with : The purpose for this letter is to request that the applicant’s I-751 form THAT WE FILLED OUT JOINTLY be withdrawn BECAUSE I PLAN ON FILING FOR DIVORCE IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS.
after that you can elaborate as you wish, but as everyone else already said, she can refile it on her own after the divorce. All she has to show is she entered the marriage in good faith and it will be approved. If you have evidence to the contrary you can submit it.
Do you have legitimate evidence? Things you can document? Something to show she used you for immigration benefits? Proof she was unfaithful to you prior to entering the marriage and then during the entire marriage? Im not trying to be mean or negative, you just have to realize that every day people get divorced and it seems like when immigration is involved the first thing that comes to the USC mind is how do I get the immigrant deported/status revoked. And the truth is there is no easy way. You petitioned for them to come here. So in many ways its done and you cant take it back/send them back just because the relationship is over. The only way to get it 'undone' is to PROVE fraud. That she fraudulently decepeted you for benefits. And you need solid proof for that, a letter saying my wife cheated on me after we were married and refuses to work things out by moving with me to NJ and now were divorcing is not fraud, just a sad story of a failed marriage.

She will be able to renew her green card if she files form I-751 waiver, she doesn't need your signature for that.

I'd just let it go and move on.

You are already on the hook to support her. Make sure you file your "change of address" with USCIS since you moved to New Jersey.
She files to lift conditions, not you. She can file with or without you.
Best of luck

Yes, she can apply to remove conditions without you
good luck

She can remove conditions by herself, even after you divorce her.