mtcmk1

I don't think there is a need to tell them anything. Your visa will expire 6 months from your medical, meaning he will be done with school way before his visa expires.

Congratulations!!!
PS--Here's a link to my AOS Packet Cover Letter. Hope it helps!!

It should be around 6 months before she can get citizenship.. If I were you I would go back to PAP in the meantime

If you already submitted your paperwork via Packet 3, that's all Packet 4 is. Unless you are missing some documents, then you get a checklist with the letter. So Congrats! It looks like you are all set to go! Just make sure you bring a copy of everything you submitted with you at the interview just in case (Because although we had no checklist, when we got to the first window, they informed us that they never received my Affidavit of Support documents and that I needed to submit them or reschedule the interview; thank goodness we brought a copy with us! We turned them in; only to find out at the interview that they had found the ones we had submitted in our Packet 3.)

If you already submitted your paperwork via Packet 3, that's all Packet 4 is. Unless you are missing some documents, then you get a checklist with the letter. So Congrats! It looks like you are all set to go! Just make sure you bring a copy of everything you submitted with you at the interview just in case (Because although we had no checklist, when we got to the first window, they informed us that they never received my Affidavit of Support documents and that I needed to submit them or reschedule the interview; thank goodness we brought a copy with us! We turned them in; only to find out at the interview that they had found the ones we had submitted in our Packet 3.)

In exactly a month, my husband will celebrate his first year in the US. I can say that he is very happy; has adjusted quickly; and learning more and more about life in the US. I think the best advice I can give is to make sure that she is very involved in not only your everyday life, but in the community. My husband goes to school, works, attends church, goes to the gym, runs races, attends community events, etc. and has already made a tight group of friends (my friends and his new friends.) Before she comes, plan for her. Make sure that she doesn't just sit at home--that will make her depressed and unhappy. Get her involved and her adjustment should go smoothly. Make sure that she is not only acquainted with English speakers but also with people that speak her native language. Of course, there are times that she will be homesick... but homesickness is not always due to unhappiness. Good luck!!
PS--meetup.com has helped us a lot too!

In exactly a month, my husband will celebrate his first year in the US. I can say that he is very happy; has adjusted quickly; and learning more and more about life in the US. I think the best advice I can give is to make sure that she is very involved in not only your everyday life, but in the community. My husband goes to school, works, attends church, goes to the gym, runs races, attends community events, etc. and has already made a tight group of friends (my friends and his new friends.) Before she comes, plan for her. Make sure that she doesn't just sit at home--that will make her depressed and unhappy. Get her involved and her adjustment should go smoothly. Make sure that she is not only acquainted with English speakers but also with people that speak her native language. Of course, there are times that she will be homesick... but homesickness is not always due to unhappiness. Good luck!!
PS--meetup.com has helped us a lot too!

It seems like you are prepared. The only thing I would suggest is to also bring a copy of everything you have submitted. I did that just in case and it helped us greatly as they claimed to have not received my tax documents and requested a copy of it at the first window. I was able to submit it there and saved our case from being put on AP.

The dude,
I don't know how to say this without being blunt, but you need help. It is normal to have a lot of stress with this process, but if you are struggling so much, and from your posts I believe you are, then there is no shame in getting professional help.
Maybe you need help with depression, anger, anxiety, coping skills. Maybe it's something else. A professional will be able to help you sort it all out and get clarity on this issue.
Good luck.

Err... after reading your post, I seriously think you need medical help asap, you may be clinically depressed.
Clinical depression symptoms may include:
Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities Significant weight loss or gain Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep nearly every day Slowed thinking or movement that others can see Fatigue or low energy nearly every day Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt Loss of concentration or indecisiveness Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

I agree with Corey. Better safe than sorry. We did include a police report with our Packet 3 even though he had no criminal record--we figured, how would they know for sure if we didn't include it.. Which is the exact same thing the clerk at HM told us when we dropped off the package. The police report is not expensive, about 27HTG (prices may be different now but not by much)--I say turn it in with it now and save yourself a delay of a month+ (if they request the report) versus a one week delay in turning in the packet.
Good luck!

I don't think it was a fake relationship. I think it was a wholly unrealistic relationship. I think she thought as soon as he got here, life would be smooth, easy, with no adjustments needed. And I think he thought whatever his fantasies about living in the USA were reality without ever researching the truth. People like this may think they will have a wonderful life together. However, without the work it actually takes, the relationship goes south very quickly, as evidenced by the OP's post.

People like u who has fake relationship make it hard for who are serious like Us . Thnx a lot

I just cant believe the excuses and justifications. I'm the USC married to my Nigerian husband and we've been living together for nearly 5 years here in Ghana. I go back and forth from the States to Ghana at least 3 times a year, staying no less than 3 months at a time in Ghana. I did plenty of research before ever stepping foot here and even now in year 5, I still experience culture shock. A day doesn't go by that I don't look around and wonder where the heck am I again? At times I'm grouchy from being homesick, I'm clingy to my husband because he's all I have here, I'm discouraged at the lack of things I'm able to do here without being a Ghanaian citizen, etc. So just imagine what this guy, whose been in the States all of two weeks is going through. If there is real love that brought you two together, then you should be figuring out how to overcome his issues and make your relationship work. If his brother can afford a ticket for him to come to CA, maybe the brother should buy a ticket and come visit the two of you and try to help him adjust to life in the States. At this point I'm just angered that the time it took someone to process your petition and for someone to interview your husband, could've been time used on a petition that belonged to two people who really know what they want.

Sorry heard that .My point of view he should not stay there at all who know maybe things will change by then but really hope he back home .while one one door is closed many are open." back home live with dignity rather live there illegal as criminel " One question i dont understand how you change your mind so faster !!!!!!!!!! Sorry for him

The OP is mostly at fault here. She has 3 kids, works hard at a job, so she should have her ####### together more than she does right now. With all that life experience, she has been incredibly naive in thinking that no matter how many times you tell someone what life is like coming from a third world country, they can't truly grasp everything until they get here. Why would she only spend 8 days on a "vacation" with him before deciding to get married?
I feel bad for him...it might be a scam, it might not be a scam. Either way, the USC is at fault for not having enough street smarts, especially when she has 3 kids that she needs to look out for.
Unless she gets married, there is absolutely no recourse for the fiance because he has to be married to apply to VAWA and even if he marries another US citizen, he won't be able to adjust while staying here because he entered on a K1. Sadly...he has no path for legal immigration while staying here. Anyone suggesting she should get married to get him a legal stay is advocating against VJ's TOS.

It's rarer than snow, ice or sleet coming down in Houston that I disagree with your posts Darnell -just happened couple of days ago, but I disagree on the disagree.
A fiance/e can be told repeatedly and in explicit terms what to expect; fiance/e might have been visiting in the US for some time, and it still can be a culture shock.
Some recover quick and adjust promptly without much of a problem; others take time -short, long, and eventually make the transition; some others never do but make it bearable; others will eventually return to their homeland with or without spouse. Seen at least one case of each and often the USC spouse has a great deal of impact (but not 100% in my anecdotal experience) in the final outcome.

Wow, I really feel for this immigrant. Telling a person daily what to expect with life in the US is VERY different than actually living it. There IS an adjustment period. Op, you say your fiance took no time to educate himself or research life in the US, the culture, the laws, whatever. So, instead of telling the man who moved across the world for you that it's time to research things together (now having the distinct advantage of BEING in the US), you choose to throw it away in a matter of days. Well, maybe it's a good thing after all. Marriage, even when in the best of circumstances, takes work. Just based on what you have said, it doesn't sound like you are interested in doing any of that work or working WITH your fiance to iron out the differences. There is a certain amount of culture shock I am sure he is going through. Helping your fiance to immigrate to the US doesn't mean instant success. It isn't like you can just add water and poof you have the perfect relationship. If you are unwilling in your very busy life to see the man you were so in love with is struggling, then, PLEASE at LEAST help him to research legal ways to immigrate here if he wants. The K1 is no longer an option if you decide not to marry him. He will have to go back to his country first. And PLEASE do the RIGHT thing and get him an open ended ticket back home. Because he does not fit into your mold of a perfect partner, shouldn't mean that you put him in a position to be stuck here either.

I guess your opinion is formed from being the USC and I am thinking how I felt as an immigrant. You can be told repeatedly what something is like but it's different when you actually experience it.
No it's not an 'adjust to life in the USA' problem. It's an adjust to 'the reality of living with a person you barely know' and the OP is the one who has backed out of the engagement. So far the beneficiary has done nothing wrong - apart from reacting a little bit clingy and homesick when reality hits, and has a different work ethic than the OP - hardly a crime. Yes, he hasn't met the OP's expectations but it seems as though she ignored all the warning signs that this guy was not on the same page as her.
He was here less than 2 weeks before he was told it was over. They've both been a little reckless in this situation but I feel very sorry for the finace.

You are expecting an awful lot from your fiance in a very short space of time. Culture shock can be very real and no amount of research can really prepare you for how you will feel.
I'd visited the US over 20 times by the time I moved over to be with my husband, I'm from the UK which is very similar to the US and I'd stayed with my husband for nearly 3 months at one point in the US. However my first year in the US as an immigrant was very hard, it was a difficult adjustment and I was terribly homesick at times. It took me nearly 4 years to feel at home here.
It sounds like both of you made assumptions and had expectations which are different from reality.

It seems you are trying to rationalize and justify your actions. It seems you are smart, intelligent and hard worker; and expecting your partner to be likewise. Nothing wrong with that, but what you described on his actions thru thru the process shows that he was not; yet you continued the process to finally -when he shows up- come to the inevitable conclusion that you were not compatible.
A lot of what you write is the view from an American perspective; nothing wrong there, but in the kind of relationships we in this forum are, it is imperative that one thinks from a multi-cultural perspective. There will be culture shock, no matter how much you prepare your partner, even if the partner had spent some time in the US.
Some actions could've been taken along the way but it's irrelevant at this point.
He might have left a life behind, or not; we don't know that, only he would know.
In terms of legal or financial responsibilities, you are in the clear as others have noted. Now, ethically or morally, only you can judge that and decide what to do about it.

You have to remember what people in other countries know of the US is very different from what we know. My spouse had heard credit was free in the US and you didn't have to pay interest. He was very upset I wouldn't get a loan for him to buy a nicer car (he bought one with his money but wanted a better one). He didn't understand the concept that I couldn't get a loan.
He thought Americans had lots of free time and went out partying every night. We all make $5,000-$6,000 per month and have big houses and nice cars.
The culture shock is very big, even bigger if they come from a country without these things. Give him time to adjust.

To me it sounds like you expected this man to be exactly like you and you're shocked that he isn't. I can see that he wouldn't be if he didn't have a job in Morocco and lived at home with his mother. But perhaps that didn't occur to you.
He sounds like he expected you to spend as much time with him in person as you did on video chat and you aren't. Not to mention he isn't like you so thought life would be easy and it's a shock to him that it isn't.
So expectations are not met in either way.
If you aren't going to give him the time he needs to adjust because you're too busy, then let him go visit his brother. You have no financial responsibility. I suggest getting him a ticket for home (Morocco) that is open ended. Yes it will cost a pretty penny but at least you know you've made it possible for the man you brought to the USA to spend your life with to go home and try to pick up the pieces of his. Then you can spend the time repairing your heart, or brain, or just move on at the speed you seem to be moving.

I suppose you have the right to change your mind but in all fairness you explaining daily life and responsibilities to him made no difference because he has no reference point. He was never married, does not have kids, has never moved away from home. Ofcourse he is going to be clingy he is homesick, have some consideration. How would you feel if you had to leave your whole life children included and start anew in a foreign country. Okay he may not have children but he had an entire family, it is normal to feel the way he does. You did research? Then why entertain the brother about signing paperwork? If you were so thorough you would know you are not responsible. Obviously you did not prepare yourself realistictly to what he would experience. Now that he is in your face, then he becomes and inconvenience? I feel bad for him but as many have stated he has 90 days to marry or go back to Morocco. I would also take the opportunity to visit family, heck after this outcome I would need the moral support as well. What he does after he leaves your home I suppose is between him and USCIS, I recommend he goes home before the 90 days. All you have to do is report that the marriage did not happen and I am sure they will ask for his location so have the address handy.
Shaking my head poor guy....

His brother is in California, they are in Detroit I believe one person does not make up for flying half way round the world, him going to visit his brother because she wants him out is not scamming, if my husband wanted me out I might run to my sibling if they lived here.
to the OP, communicate with your fiancé, figure out what is different now to when you were planning the move, I came over on same date as your fiancé and im all the over the place and im sure its affecting my fiancé too, you cant move so far without acting a little nutty, its an incredibly hard thing to do. make sure hes not just feeling unhappy, out of place etc before you give up on something you worked a year for