~ CALLING ALL GOING THOUGH ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN- OFF TOPIC, ISLAMABAD-

[babybunny 2]

OLD LINK :

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;#entry320345

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please post here now for off topic for ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~ WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited July 20, 2006 by babybunny

[us1415 0]

look at that....another one of our threads closed.....isnt that something...

anyways....good luck to everyone!!!

[babybunny 2]

its is only because, the other one was slowing down the system. Its ok

we have archives from the old thread.

[Ban Hammer 12,841]

and good luck to shon as she kicks off this thread. post long and prosper

[babybunny 2]

Thank you Charles!!! I hope now that more people post here and we stay at the TOP of the OFF topic. everyone post even if its just to vent your frustrations or annouce good news.

[babybunny 2]

QUOTE(dlg @ Jul 20 2006, 08:09 AM)

Shon, I wish Ali were able to contact Javed right now... but he's off in the mountains for some time yet - dayum.

Hang in there! It wasn't till recently that Ali shared with me all the teasing, ridiculing and harassment he has gotten from some "friends" about his choices and love for me. It is incredibly hard for him to share his feelings with anyone there in Pak. Which makes it esp. hard for me. I am very happy to be there for him, but it get's hard that I'm the only one he can share with. I, like you, have a lot going and of course am always there for him, but I really am not ready to throw all caution to the wind and go to Pakistan. It just wouldn't be right for either of us (Ali or I). I need to keep earning money, keep my house and life in order so that we can have something together. I am not adverse to spending a good deal of time in Pakistan - but certainly not my whole life. Keep your chin up and try and trust that what is meant to happen will happen. If you two love each other as much as you seem to - it will work itself out some way. We have to believe that - or loose our sanity for sure!!

My thoughts are with you girl. (sigh)

your understanding me 100% and you know what Javed is going though too. Cindishah husband use to talk to my husband. They gave each other a little boost and they met. This is always a good thing. there were sometings javed was telling me that made me go hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!. I dont want my Bingo teased. course I have been getting teased too.

btw, lost whom I thought was a friend today. ufffffffff she is upset because, I converted to islam. I would think after over 1 1/2 years she would have known. it hurts but, I have to follow my heart. I have made good friendships on VJ. she dont support my choice. she said some sterotypical things and it hurt.

I think the good news is I have not gotton flack from my co workers.. I did at first. but not now. I never got hassles from my family. I think I am pretty lucky.. My sister has been studying islam.

[babybunny 2]

QUOTE(babybunny @ Jul 16 2006, 02:51 PM)

I dont know what hell they looking for but, whatever it is .. they dont seem to understand it dont Exist. geez

I dont see how the dayum case is clear in ISL and now the dayum thing did a U turn -back to the DOS. .dayum unbelivable.

you know I can deal with the security checks 1001 times.

I am worried about javeds mentality right now. he needs support too.

all he get is bullchit talking from the people around him. let me ask this..

to the Men waiting in PK.. how do you cope when people say stupid things to you about your case? I think I willl have Javed post on here too.

Irrespective of who I am, or where I jumped in the middle from...

All I have to say in this case is just that: a/ Pakistan is a third-world country, therefore treated accordingly.

Had javed been in London, or some nice place else, dont think would have triggered this much security

checks. b/ It just strengthens your belief more and more on the fact, that there is a power beyond, WHO

controls everything. It strengthens your belief in Allah, and that nothing moves in this Universe without

HIS commands. So, althought that you both are trying the worldly way, you just might want to increase

your prayers alongwith trying to stay away from common sins. That should help a lot. Stay put, keep

praying. c/ When its the proper time, nothing can stop javed from being in US, until its that time, no matter

what you folks do, and no matter what the US depts do, he will never reach there. d/ Similar to this is the

fact that a person's rizq (whatever he/she gets money/food etc) is written and sealed before he/she even

comes into the world, along the same lines is written the location as well. Even where you are supposed to

die is written as well. We have had numerous articles in Islamic history explaining this fact. So, try and

relax, be with each other as much as you can. e/ A wife's place is with her husband, besides him. Although

that I can understand with your post that you have responsibilities, but if javed is earning (which I have

no idea of) and probably if you can come and settle here in PK (as suggested earlier as well), maybe just

maybe, you too might be able to take care of, or come up with some arrangements to take care of the

responsibilities from here. If not, well... I know how difficult it can be, and it is... At times can almost take

you to the end of a relationship, because whats the point of getting married, if you cant live together?

There are so many factors, including those of being together, close and all, and a person, especially guys

tend to find it difficult, its natural for them to start looking at alternatives, which is why the marriage, and

having a wife and all, and if not, well things get tricky and emotional and sad and frustrating and what not.

Guess you might have an idea already. f/ How to deal with it? Well if its me, I'd say what the heck? PK is

still so much better than US in so many terms. True, we dont have security in our own homeland, this that

yada yada, but it still is home. Still so much better. I had only applied, because it's my wife's wish. She

wants me to have a look there, stay there for a while. Either way, she doesnt have issues with staying

here, infact she loves to, so guess what, figured give it a try, works fine... Alhamdulillah, doesnt work ?

Even more better, Alhamdulillah, I call her back, and we settle here... Well, actually whatever works best,

have always prayed, that be chosen, since we dont know, and Allah Ta'aala knows all. So, whatever is

best for us, whereever for this world, for our religion, for our Eeman, for our deaths, and for our Heavenly

abode (Aakhirat), we have always prayed for that, and it keeps it relaxed and sane throughout.

Alhamdulillah...

So, all in all, it depends, you two got to find middle grounds, if it has taken so long. From the looks of it

you might have to sacrifice a little in trying to settle here, or if not, maybe if you are earning enough,

probably something that you can either visit more often, or stay here few months of the year, then

back, whatever works for you... Something... Just dont make this immigration thing a matter of life and

death, as it isnt. Keep in mind, everything happens at its own pre-determined time, and not before that,

no matter what you do. That might help you relax further.

Thats from the top of my mind what I could think of, in response to the above. Hope it'll help.

Take care you two...

[MaryandMian 1]

GOOD LUCK to everyone and Danika glad to see your posting, too.

[RobertAndrews 0]

I cant .. I have a career, responsibilys and my schooling.. I dont have family here.

Well, you made it clear yourself here. Although, since they say love is blind, it actually lets you see the

more simpler things of life, more like when you wake up one day and realize, nothing aint anything

without your special one, and you know the rest. Looks cool in movies though, but then again, come

real life, very few people actually have the courage to do that, on top of that, add an educated girl,

a pinch of wisdom, a teaspoon of experience, and there you go, all the perfect love wasted, cauz then

love starts thinking - Hehe... Might look like me is talking crazy, but thats just me...

I can understand your point of view but in life at certain point we have to priorities

things. Rather living a depressing life alone here just windup studies, job and everything for a

while (short term) and try to spend some colorful, loving stress free months with your husband in

his native country I am sure it would be a great experience.

Hmmm... You know what... Actually where was it that I was reading on listening to that it came up

that boys will always remain to be babies big grown up babies, and they just cant do without

either their mama or well the love of their life... Its a fact, we need you girls at times, more than

you need us... Which is why, our natural instinct is always to just be with our special ones first, and

others things come later. Psoft's advice is perfect in a sense, that the rejuvination (I hope I spelled

it right) it will provide can compare to nothing else. Basically the way girls are, and who would know

it better than you, babybunny being a girl, they just need a little amount of uncondition pure love, a

few intense love-making sessions (offcourse being married and all), a little out-door trips and a little

snuggling, makes you girls go quite a stretch, if you would ask me to compare it, right from the top

of my head, I would say if anyone has seen either 'Hoodwinked' or 'Over the Hedge', the whole thing

is similar to giving caffeine to the squirrles in these animated movies <giggles> But coming back,

I would also vouch for PSoft's advise, just that, I can also understand your career goals, and studies

so, just with the exception, take some time out to be together, offcourse it kills at a later stage to

not be together, but well the time spent together energizes you for that period to come.

I have alot of responsiblitys in the USA. I cant take care of them in PK. I am the USC and

petitioning for javed myself no co sponsers. I dont live with no family members in this state. none.

I relocated here from overseas. I have established my home and what nots. I cant just up and go to

pakistan longer than a few weeks here and possibly there. I have the normal resonsibliys like anyone

else rent, utilities, car note, insurance etc. my income superceeds anything javed could produce not

to mention his responsibilities.

Explains stuff quite in detail. So, agree with you here, with the only exception, as I said above.

I have a career! not some job. its a career with a positive out come in the long run. Airline jobs

are not a dime a dozen. I could never get a job with PIA airlines. I am currently in school studying

my behind off so I can graduate next summer. I wanna do the walk accross the stage. I dont want to

put my studies on hold not when I am closer to being compleated.

I would never do that as well. Unless, I was all crazy in love, then it would have been different, but

the sane side would never do it

we do pray alot. we went into this marriage with prayer and spritual guidence. its the only thing

thats really helping me cope. based on a promise I received through prayer.

Nothing like prayers. Religion (Offcourse, Islam is the only true and preserved religion present) is a

part of human life and nature. No matter, what religion a human being practices, but deep down inside

he/she knows about spiritual stuff, about things that he cant control, about times, when it comes to be

known, that there is a power outside, WHO controls everything. It comes to that eventually. So we are

even more blessed with being born Muslims, and you being reverts. I wouldnt call you converts, because

a convert is more like changing to something else, while a revert is being back home, where you actually

belong. I dont know how it would sound to you, but its a matter of fact, that when Allah created all souls,

HE asked all of them, WHO is your creator? And all souls replied, You, Allah Ta'aala. Which is why even

a non-muslim has an idea inside, he too carries a soul. So congratulation on being back. Keep strong,

Keep praying, and always believe, things happen only when they are intended to. Not a moment before,

Neither a moment after.

I know my place is by my husbands side!!! his place is by myside. I am thankful my husband takes

my career goals seriously and he takes my education seriously too. however, my place is also to build a

home for us here. it does us no bit of good for me to toss my responsiblities in the fire. when its

all over more problems and no place to live. I would not leave my dog in a kennel for along period

of time either. dispite him being a dog diamee is a airline employee family member- with rights. so

no I wont up and live in pakistan.

Well, instead of me saying something that provokes all hell loose here on how men are supposed to take

care of stuff, and women are supposed to take care of different stuff. I'll take a different approach. Since

a husband and wife are two people who make a life together, and based on specific cases, there are

certain different things required, so I'll agree to this. Although, that I am a strong believer on the fact

that women's primary responsibilities are their home, husband and children etc based solely on how its

told in religion. There are no buts in religion. Period. Having said that however, I dont like women to be

entirely dependent on men, again based solely on how the world is today. Its a lot different then it used

to be even when we were kids, like some 30/35 years back. That world had simpler stuff, we got much

more complicated stuff and issues these days, and add to that a girl, who doesnt know how to move

around, she is a goner, unless Allah Ta'aala helps her. Having said that, offcourse, you are in a position

to do this now, he will be in a different position later, so it works out, and will work out Insha-Allah.

YOu make a good point brother thanks for posting,

try not to be judgemental , many of the women on this board are completely different than you

We too talked about living in Pakistan, some of the culture shock etc. was getting to him. If it

came down to it I would sell everything and go with him, as our bond grows stronger every day,

i would give up my career, sell the house et al here and go.There was a time and rightly so, that

this would not be an option.

I know. Thanks. Secondly, I am never judgemental. I didnt have all details, until just now, which again

is reflected in how I answered. Women are supposed to be different, and are always different thats

all I was talking about, if it came to it. That was my entire point earlier.

Basically, the truth about it is when you have Amercian marrying any foreign male, then you have

this role reversal . dude i even had to teach him how to pump self service gas(and he had lived out

of pakistan 5 years before). I know these things(Javeds transition here) will be easier on Shon as

she is independant and not June CLeaver Iowa girl like myself. Even i know a nurse in Pakistan

makes about 200 dollars a month and takes alot of orders, here i can make 200 dollars a day and

tell the DRs basically to buzz off. Most of us women here are converts to Islam, however our

upbrigning and childhood was Christian and American,and childhood learning cannot be removed,

Nicely put, and agreeed.

its a part of us. The Cultures should mesh , not collide. Shon in Pakistan ,IMO, not a good choice.

Javed needs to be strong maybe its is his faith that is being tested. My heart breaks for sister Shon,

you are in our prayers. Im glad i waited for my Pakistani husband,and ALLAH bless us every day

Inshallah, was alot of hard work getting him here and getting him settled, Im glad we stuck it out

I pamper him he dotes over me he drives me places and pays the bills we go to MOms together,

go on long walks we cook together we go to Jummah together ALALH takes care of the Widows

and the Needy keep the faith

Well, based on yours and Shon's scenario, I would agree, it might not be a good choice, but then if it

comes to making a choice like you said so yourself, just along those lines. You got a perfect life there

Alhamdulillah. I hope and pray it stays that way forever

btw, lost whom I thought was a friend today. ufffffffff she is upset because, I converted to islam.

I would think after over 1 1/2 years she would have known. it hurts but, I have to follow my heart.

I have made good friendships on VJ. she dont support my choice. she said some sterotypical things

and it hurt.

I think the good news is I have not gotton flack from my co workers.. I did at first. but not now. I

never got hassles from my family. I think I am pretty lucky.. My sister has been studying islam.

Actually, havent you heard ? You have to melt down gold in extreme heat, to bring it to the glittering

state that you so adore Diamonds need to go through rigourous cutting and polishing, so its all the

same being a muslim. The more you are tried, the more you go through troubles, the more you are

polished, the better muslim you come out to be, and the better and stronger faith you have. The better

the status at the end in Jannat. Hehe...

[Omid 0]

Okay so here's the latest in this crazy mess...

I finally got through to NVC yesterday after the FBI call where they said they have no record of my fiance's prints, they said NVC has it, called them, they said we wouldn't have that, called FBI again - same response, called NVC again - same response... then called DOS and s/w Barbara this morning and apparently my fiance is going to get a call-in letter from the embassy w/ a request for additional information, and she said not to worry about the prints b/c she believes they have rec'd what they requested... UGH!!! I don't know what to make of any of it so I guess we'll just have to wait until he goes down to the embassy again - it's a not so safe 8 hr drive down from Afghanistan to Islamabad, Pakistan so insha'Allah it won't be just another run-around trip... not holding my breath... I think I will call the embassy again to see if they'll tell me what additional documentation they need so we can have it prepared... that way when he makes the four hour trip to the location in Pakistan to pick up the letter, he can keep driving the additional five hours to ISL and drop off the requested items.

[MaryandMian 1]

Omid I agree I would contact the embassy and try and find out any information. You fiancee may have to call because when I found out Mian had a letter to come back they would not release any details to me the spouse and petitioner.

But your plan of action sounds great to me. If you can find out what additional evidence they need he can travel to Islamabad with the new proofs once he gets the letter. Good luck on your call to Islamabad .

Mary

[babybunny 2]

Well, you made it clear yourself here. Although, since they say love is blind, it actually lets you see the

more simpler things of life, more like when you wake up one day and realize, nothing aint anything

without your special one, and you know the rest. Looks cool in movies though, but then again, come

real life, very few people actually have the courage to do that, on top of that, add an educated girl,

a pinch of wisdom, a teaspoon of experience, and there you go, all the perfect love wasted, cauz then

love starts thinking - Hehe... Might look like me is talking crazy, but thats just me...

I like simpler things and wonderful things! I dont want to make life so simple that I am,homeless, jobless and no money in my pocket. I am the sole provider when Javed comes he will have to depend on me for sometime. I bust my tail to make a life here for us. I dont have anyone I can depend on. when my car breaks down -who hell come rescue me? its AA autoclub. coz, I cant depend on no one. IF i get behind on a payment - I have to juggle my own money to make ends meet and correct errors that made it happen. if the problem is too big- I have to religh on my own credit to get loans for things.

I go to school so everyday is not a constant struggle in the work enviornment. I want to have nice things for myself and my wonderful husband. I should not at my age worry about not having things to show what I accomplished. honestly, those things I stated should be commended. if anything ever happend to my husband let me tell you something. I can take care of all things!! it also releases pressure off him he knows I can handle bills, work and anything else. I do these things not just for me but, building on someting great later on in life. those husbands coming to the USA can certainly understand and respect that!

I dont put things before my husband. I wont toss my career and schooling in the fire thats insane

Edited July 20, 2006 by babybunny

[babybunny 2]

Hmmm... You know what... Actually where was it that I was reading on listening to that it came up

that boys will always remain to be babies big grown up babies, and they just cant do without

either their mama or well the love of their life... Its a fact, we need you girls at times, more than

you need us... Which is why, our natural instinct is always to just be with our special ones first, and

others things come later. Psoft's advice is perfect in a sense, that the rejuvination (I hope I spelled

it right) it will provide can compare to nothing else. Basically the way girls are, and who would know

it better than you, babybunny being a girl, they just need a little amount of uncondition pure love, a

few intense love-making sessions (offcourse being married and all), a little out-door trips and a little

snuggling, makes you girls go quite a stretch, if you would ask me to compare it, right from the top

of my head, I would say if anyone has seen either 'Hoodwinked' or 'Over the Hedge', the whole thing

is similar to giving caffeine to the squirrles in these animated movies <giggles> But coming back,

I would also vouch for PSoft's advise, just that, I can also understand your career goals, and studies

so, just with the exception, take some time out to be together, offcourse it kills at a later stage to

not be together, but well the time spent together energizes you for that period to come

I want to go to pakistan for those 3 weeks. but, javed tells me to wait a minute. so I have to wait.

ok so I will wait. there are reasons on his side that I have to wait. I need my husband more than you

think I do. so I do consume my time trying to just refocus my energys. I would love to go make love to my husband endlessly and enjoy time in the mountains. I know a vist to javed will give him springs in his steps.

[babybunny 2]

Well, instead of me saying something that provokes all hell loose here on how men are supposed to take

care of stuff, and women are supposed to take care of different stuff. I'll take a different approach. Since

a husband and wife are two people who make a life together, and based on specific cases, there are

certain different things required, so I'll agree to this. Although, that I am a strong believer on the fact

that women's primary responsibilities are their home, husband and children etc based solely on how its

told in religion. There are no buts in religion. Period. Having said that however, I dont like women to be

entirely dependent on men, again based solely on how the world is today. Its a lot different then it used

to be even when we were kids, like some 30/35 years back. That world had simpler stuff, we got much

more complicated stuff and issues these days, and add to that a girl, who doesnt know how to move

around, she is a goner, unless Allah Ta'aala helps her. Having said that, offcourse, you are in a position

to do this now, he will be in a different position later, so it works out, and will work out Insha-Allah.

not for me!

I was raised diffrently. let me tell you a little of my background. I was raised in a DUAL- Military home.

My mother and My father both served in the USA Air force. Both also retired with honours. Mom retired in 1993 and daddy retired in 1987. . Both served 22 years in the military. there were times when I would have to live with my mom or live with my dad. depending on who was willing to take us with them. sometimes we were split up and we had to live with other family members.

we grew up latch key kids. meaning after school we got to the libary til mom come get us or we go home do home work and grab snack mom would leave for us. sometimes dad would hurry home and grab us a can of something or something frozen. but, mom she was not the stay at home and bake biscuits type. she did maintain home but, she was not always there. there were times I lived with my daddy and well unless you like eating peanut butter and eggs. you would be starving til mama got back from extended missions.

< this would be like months or years > I have 3 other siblings. me and my twin watched my little sister and brother sometimes.

[babybunny 2]

Okay so here's the latest in this crazy mess...

I finally got through to NVC yesterday after the FBI call where they said they have no record of my fiance's prints, they said NVC has it, called them, they said we wouldn't have that, called FBI again - same response, called NVC again - same response... then called DOS and s/w Barbara this morning and apparently my fiance is going to get a call-in letter from the embassy w/ a request for additional information, and she said not to worry about the prints b/c she believes they have rec'd what they requested... UGH!!! I don't know what to make of any of it so I guess we'll just have to wait until he goes down to the embassy again - it's a not so safe 8 hr drive down from Afghanistan to Islamabad, Pakistan so insha'Allah it won't be just another run-around trip... not holding my breath... I think I will call the embassy again to see if they'll tell me what additional documentation they need so we can have it prepared... that way when he makes the four hour trip to the location in Pakistan to pick up the letter, he can keep driving the additional five hours to ISL and drop off the requested items.

oh cool.. this is good. just make sure you send the most recent 2005 tax paper

and have him get a current police report, this is proble the information they will need..

grab it anyways! nothing more frustrating than going there with out that info and he has dribe back