Does your MENA SO have children?

[sarah and hicham 3]

I know that there are a lot of USC women who have kids from a first marriage but we never really talk about whether the foreign SO has kids, and what happens to them once the SO comes to America to live.

Do the kids come to ths US?

Do you feel guilty that he is leaving his kids to come to the US?

Would you be able to leave your children to live in the ME/NA?

Hicham doesn't have any kids, but I was just wondering what happens to the children of men or women in the ME/NA. I would feel guilty if Hicham left his kids to come to the US. Even though I don't have kids I just can't imagine allowing him to leave his, or leaving my own to go live in Morocco (if I had any).

Well I just thought I'd ask...

[Henia 11]

Elhaaaaaaaaamdullah my husband doesnt have children or an ex... I have my ex's ex to deal with and the "new" wife... that is enough for me. PLus I could add my husband's family who are just lovely ... alota peeeps you know. I donnot need the extra drama. I think even thou it would double standard of me, if my husband had kids i would not have married him.

I left my daughter when I first came to Algeria, but on the trips after she came with. Have no intention of EVER leaving her again!!!

Edited June 20, 2007 by Henia

[sarah and hicham 3]

Elhaaaaaaaaamdullah my husband doesnt have children or an ex... I have my ex's ex to deal with and the "new" wife... that is enough for me. PLus I could add my husband's family who are just lovely ... alota peeeps you know. I donnot need the extra drama. I think even thou it would double standard of me, if my husband had kids i would not have married him.

I left my daughter when I first came to Algeria, but on the trips after she came with. Have no intention of EVER leaving her again!!!

How does she like Algeria?

[Henia 11]

She thinks it is extended holiday. Now she is with her father for 3 weeks (yeah ...not!) then we head back. We will see how she likes Algerians schools LOLOL! But over all she is a just a child, she is flexible...loves the fact there are unlimited play buddies around and that Medy spoils her. I know I sure donnot!

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

My husband doesn't have any children, but I have three sons. I hope that it never comes to the point that I feel that I need to make a decision about leaving my children here so that I could live in Jordan to be with my husband. First, I don't think I could ever leave my sons, they are my life, and second, I am not sure their father would ever agree to it. Though I would hope that, if the need should ever arise, we could come up with a mutual agreement that would work well for the boys.

[Henia 11]

i hear you Tammy Sue! That is one reason I prefered a man without children. Double standard thing again, I know... but less exs and fathers to deal with... I seriously doubt my husband would leave his children in Alger, just I would not leave mine ... and for sure he would want them raised with the mother... so it would too complicated for us.

[doodlebug 3]

I could not leave my children to go live there so that is a big black cloud waiting to lume over me if he ever gets denied the visa. I try to stay in denial about that one since I don't like to think of the obvious which would be that if he seriously could not get a visa the marriage would have to end.

He was never married before so has no children. If he did have any I wouldn't be married to him, not because I would never be with a man with children but because I could never put him in a position of having to leave them.

[Henia 11]

He was never married before so has no children. If he did have any I wouldn't be married to him, not because I would never be with a man with children but because I could never put him in a position of having to leave them.

Exactly. You expressed what I wanted to say prefectly...better then me!

[Donna A 4]

my husband has a daughter overseas with his ex. he was never really a dad to her because his ex left with her when she was only 6 weeks old. of course he loves his child and visits her every chance he gets and is hoping to get custody when she turn 11 but he never got to have a strong bond with her because he was living in saudi arabia when she was born and they traveled back to syria for a vacation and thats when his ex left him and refused to go back to saudi arabia with him.

he tried to bring her here with him and asked the ex to give him custody so she can learn english and all that before getting into school but she said no that if she remarries she will give her to her mother to raise.

she is 7 now and his ex hasnt remarried. i think the law in syria says the child will go to the dad when he/she turns 11 if the mother remarries but 15 if she dont. so we just have to wait and see what happenes in a few years.

[ya falaha! 0]

Ditto to what Doodle said. I wouldn't have a problem marrying a divorced man with children here but I wouldn't be able to marry a man who had to leave his children behind. My husband was never previously married nor does he have any children of his own.

He was never married before so has no children. If he did have any I wouldn't be married to him, not because I would never be with a man with children but because I could never put him in a position of having to leave them.

Exactly. You expressed what I wanted to say prefectly...better then me!

[sereia 0]

no kids here. very glad about that. i'm sooooooo not ready for babies yet.

[deemabrouk 0]

i know its a complete Double Standard... but I could never marry a man that had kids.. Alhamdulillah my husband was never married/ has kids..

[a1angied 0]

Well I guess I will be the one to say I am very happy that I fell in love with a man regardless of his past and married him. He has 4 beautiful children who he loves so very much. Tonight is the last night that he will spend with them until he can go back for a visit which will be in a year and a few months most likely. He has a great relationship with his children and loves them very much. When we first startd talking that was the first question I asked was how he could ever leave his children. He told me that he is wanting to be able to give them the best of life and that he can not provide that for them with what Jordan has to offer, that alot of men work out of the country and visit for one month out of the year or short trips to be able to provide for the family, some families will eventually move to the country that the father is working in or some times they dont so that they can live around the family.

We will be filing for the children to have visa's so that they can visit in the summers and if they choose to live here then they will be able to live here, the children at 13, 10, 7, 20 months. He is not going to force the children to leave the mother as he wants what is best for the children. I know that the children would prefer to have mom and dad well that is not the option any longer.

I am a mother and i have a son and a daughter, if i had to make a choice today to leave and go to Jordan and not take my children with me I could. That being said my children are 18 and 16. My 16 yr old daughter would have a choice to live with my brother or come with me. I know she would stay and that would be ok. I love my children very much but i also have put my life on hold relationship wise so that i could raise them without interference. They have never really had a father around so I am all they have besides my family but I know that they want me to be happy.

I love my husband and that is why I married him, I believe that God joined us together so who am I to question. I know that I did alot of praying and I know that God opened doors that I didn't even know that were there for me to be able to go to Jordan to marry and has continually opened doors and that is how everything has been able to happen.

We will not being having children as we have 6 between us and that is more then enough and I have had my tubes burned after I had my daughter 16 years ago and I don't ever regret having done so.

[Henia 11]

Esalaams Dee... Yes technically it would be a double-standard, buuuut understanble double-standard you know. Very hard to ask someone to leave their children, believe me when I left my daughter for my first trip was very hard to leave her. He wanted to bring her with me, begged me telling me not to leave her.... but with the first trip (and school) I just did not want to bring her. I could never ask him to leave his children, if he had some. I mean when his mother was alive and suffering with her cancer. I just told him we would be friends and put off the relation until Allah gave us some relief/answers. But the God is great and we finally had our time. But who cares if it was double-standard....men have them all the time.

[Jenn! 918]

I don't think it's a double standard at all. If your SO had children and you expected him to up and move here, leaving his children behind, without even considering leaving your own kids to move to his country, then that would be a double standard. Or else, if you wouldn't, for some reason, consider a relationship with a "local" man due to the fact that he had kids, and you had kids yourself, then that would be a double standard, too.