When is my son old enough?

[Emancipation 2]

My parents went to California for a week when us kids were in Highschool (but I'm not bitter). They left us in the capable hands of my grandmother

[*JG* 2]

It's a dangerous world out there.

Yes you are right. It first came to me when I moved here.

Because there is no crime in Denmark?

Oh yes there is.

But they allow teens to do more. Examble, they must drink alcohol when 16. And they can hang around by the malls. They are only going in school for 10 years and after start working fulltime. Many 16 years old kids move to their own appartments. So our adjustment here is sometimes hard to swallow

Sounds a lot like Jamaica.

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

It's a dangerous world out there.

Yes you are right. It first came to me when I moved here.

Because there is no crime in Denmark?

Oh yes there is.

But they allow teens to do more. Examble, they must drink alcohol when 16. And they can hang around by the malls. They are only going in school for 10 years and after start working fulltime. Many 16 years old kids move to their own appartments. So our adjustment here is sometimes hard to swallow

Sounds a lot like Jamaica.

I forgot to tell that you are not allowed to buy or wear weapons in any kind. Even not as an adult. The only permission for license is if you are a kind of hunter. The most crime there is rape which I never will understand since it's legal to be prostitute

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

ok we would defenatly not go longer than 1 hour drive. Our dreams about honeymoon on Hawaii we skipped for a long time ago. Our problem is that there is no famely here in California to look for the boys. So the long trips we gotta save for another time in the future

[BJZags 17]

Its pretty sad, but in the "modern" world and the maturity of children in general, I wouldn't think many parents would leave their 16 year-old alone for an extended amount of time. When I was a junior in high school, my folks left me alone for almost a week during their spring break to attend a teachers conference. But then, I was raised by a hard-### retired army colonel who I was scared to ever disobey or disappoint. I would have been beaten within an inch of my life if I had screwed-up. Hell, at age 16, my father having lied about his age was in boot-camp about to go fight in a war. The times have certainly changed.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I wonder how much of the reluctance to leave teenagers home alone for a few days has more to do with a fear of something happening to them rather than a sense that they're not mature or responsible enough to look after themselves. In a country where kids can work legally at the age of 14 (in some states) and drive at 15 or 16, it seems absurd that parents would question whether teenagers could feed themselves, get off to school or work, and do day-to-day tasks unsupervised. I think that for a lot of parents, the concern has more to do with the kids' safety vis-a-vis an outside entity--burglar?

This may sound a bit conspiracy-theorist, but I wonder how much the "culture of fear" contributes to this anxiety. Even though per capita crime rates across many categories have declined over the last 30 years in the U.S., there is much more national media attention given to frightening random occurrences, like kidnappings and home invasions.

A former coworker of mine used to talk to her then-teenage daughters on the phone several times a day. Her oldest daughter was graduating from high school that year, and my coworker would ask her if she'd done her math homework yet! Her daughter was a good student and had already been accepted to college. Wot?! I don't think my mother ever asked me about homework! I couldn't help but wonder if crazy coworker was going to call her daughter once she'd gone away to school and ask if she'd finished her homework. The odd thing is, coworker lady said that she'd gone backpacking across Europe with her slightly older cousins when she was 16, and had a great time. "I'd never let my kids do that, they're not mature enough to handle themselves." Er...

Sorry, this is a ramble. I read articles about how kids these days are coddled and can't take care of themselves. I wonder if it's a crock, or if there really is something to it.

Go on the honeymoon! :-)

If you're worried about a Weird Science-type party--well, I guess that's another concern altogether.

[DeadPoolX 9]

My parents left me alone in the house when I was ten!

I'm not patting myself on the back here, but I guess they thought I was mature enough to handle it. I showed them! When they came home, all of the liquor was gone!

I AM KIDDING!!

Seriously... I was a very well-behaved kid. In fact, I was boring. I never snuck out, stayed out all night partying, went drinking, stole my Dad/Mom's car, or did anything that the stereotypical teenager does. I think the key was that my parents weren't my "best friends" but my parents. They raised me to understand that there was a "right" and a "wrong" and that were are consequences for my actions. It seems that there are a lot of kids, teenagers and adults who've never learned this lesson.

[Peikko 1,575]

The real question isn't so much that kids are in much danger from external forces, which statistically they are not, but if they can cope with running a home for 5 days.

Can they cook and tidy up, can they ensure the home remains secure and of course, should something go wrong, can they get themselves to an emergency room, or call emergency services.

Personally, I would prefer to have my kid along with me regardless, but then he's not a teenager, yet

[Laveau 67]

When I went out of the country to visit my ex fiance in Romania for 4 weeks I left my 16 year old for that time. However, my brother has a key to my place and would pop up there in the evenings several times per week. Anyway, at that time she was working full time (was summer) and had her own car. She communicated with me daily via ym and even paid the monthly bills for that month. (from my bank acciount online). Although she has her own money from her job I had left her several hundred dollars for food and gas. You're going to worry no matter how mature you think your teen. I had the same paranoid feelings the whole time I was away but as long as she kept in contact daily I was I was moderately calm about the situation.

Syl

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

I am really so happy to read all your responses. It keeps me thinking that there are many attitudes around my question. Sometimes I am wondering how they can send young boys out as a soldier allow to wear a weapon. But they must still not drink a little beer before they are 21. That's sound very weird to me.

[Kajikit 65]

It sounds weird because it IS weird!

My parents weren't afraid to leave us at home by ourselves for a few days when we were teenagers (usually over a weekend when we didn't have to go to school...) I was 15 or 16 when they went to New Zealand on a two-week business trip and it really wasn't a big deal - they lined up our uncle to take us grocery shopping and left us to it. Of course, we were pretty quiet, responsible kids who knew how to do the basic household stuff from an early age (I started doing most of the cooking when I was 13)

If I had a teenager/s I think it would depend on them whether I felt okay about leaving them at home alone... they're far too old to need a baby-sitter, but the older they get the more chance there is that they'll get into mischief - and 'mischief' today can be life-altering (drugs, sex, house-trashing parties...) But if the kids are responsible and get along okay, 16 is more than old enough to leave them at home for a week! Even if they're not particularly responsible, it might be a good time to learn - line up a couple of adults to keep an eye on them (phone calls and regular visits to make sure that everything's under control) and have a good time.

Sixteen year-olds are old enough to have cars and jobs and to perform adult tasks, so they ought to be able to fend for themselves for a few nights!

[Mephys 2]

When I was 15, we went to one of my friend's parent's cottage for 1 week. We were 5 teenagers 15-16 yo (3 boys 2 girls, just friends there) and we had 2 adults driving us there. They came food shopping with us before we left (from our own money) and there were available if anything happened during the week and if we needed something, we could call them. We spent the whole week there with no adults, no cars, taking walks outside, walked to the nearest village ( about 2 hours of walking) to visit and get more food, we went visiting some farms around. We did a firecamp, used the BBQ, cooked our own meal. We were responsible enough to use everything the safe way, be careful, lock the door at night, etc. We had a real blast

I mean it really depends on how mature your teenagers are, but only you really knows. I wouldn't judge only with the age.

[russ 1]

I am really so happy to read all your responses. It keeps me thinking that there are many attitudes around my question. Sometimes I am wondering how they can send young boys out as a soldier allow to wear a weapon. But they must still not drink a little beer before they are 21. That's sound very weird to me.

I would recommend renting the movie "Risky Business" to see the worst thing that can happen.

[Drew and Tik 0]

Depends on your children and what you're actually worried about. When they can drive, which is around 16 in most states, I would say it's pretty "safe" to leave them alone, as far as them not hurting themselves or at least knowing what to do in a situation where they did (you can say once they're a teenager, around 13 or 14 even, they can be trusted with this responsibility).

Many kids like to have parties when their parents go out of town though, I know when I was 16 or 17 I would have huge parties if my parents even went out for one weekend. So long as they're fairly responsible, don't break anything important, and clean up the mess, this might not be a problem for you taking this risk.

So yeah, if you think they'll continue to go to school (if it's not summer) and not destroy the house, I don't see anything ethically wrong with leaving a 15 or 16 year old kid alone for about a week. Just don't be surprised when you find a garbage bag full of empty beer cans and vodka bottles they forgot to ditch before your return

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I think it should be okay. If they are good kids and you trust them, go for it.

I was babysitting when I was 13, I was 15 with my first over night 2 day babysitting job. My parents also traveled a lot and they left me alone with my brother (who is 6 years younger than I am) for a few days at a time when I was that age as well.

Get a neighbour to watch out for them, leave emergency numbers, stock the house with food. They should be fine.

Edited November 6, 2007 by ~Laura and Nick~