Help needed please.

[Jaseball 0]

If you think the police are there to mainly intervene, solve, and prevent crimes, then you don't know what they do day to day. They take and file reports most of the time, especially the uniformed cops.

If the OP's friend is out of the house, has her papers taken, and was told a load of BS the police can and will show up to intervene in this dispute as soon as she makes the phone call and is back in the area. Her husband has no right to boot her out and force her to leave the country. She has just as much right to live there as he does.

If she goes back and the guy has her locked out or whatever she can call right then and there. She needs a report on file just to protect herself.

Anyways, I can't give more advice in this particular case. It's really up to her and what she feels like doing in regards to this case.

[samiam 0]

I would like to thank you all for your input and advice.

My friends husband sent her an email today again trying to intimidate her. The letter was full of very obvious lies and some language that could clearly be taken as a threat to my wife and I. And again saying that she was here illegaly and needed to go back to her country. I try to give people the benefit of a doubt but with this jerk there is no doubt what so ever. He said that she would have to wait for his lawyer to tell him what he should do with her permanent resident card And what a bad person she was for getting her friends involved. I called the police in her home town and explained the situation. The officer was very nice and even seemed to know quite a bit about immigration law but was not sure exactly what crimes may have been commited and that he felt the best place to start would be for her to return to Florida and for them to go to the house with her to retrieve her belogings.

She now see's him for what he is. She replied to his email and told him in no uncertain terms that she now knows her rights and that his lies and intimidation will not work with her anymore and that she is not going anywhere. He replied this afternoon in a very different tone saying that he had put her cards and documents in the mail and that she should recieve them here in three days (we shall see). Today she made contact with a distant family member that lives near her home city and they have offered to give her a place to stay until she can get on her feet. They also have a job lead for her and have put her in touch with an attorney that is a friend of the family. She is going to return to Florida later this week and I think she is going to be Ok.

Thanks again

samiam

[Jaseball 0]

I would like to thank you all for your input and advice.

My friends husband sent her an email today again trying to intimidate her. The letter was full of very obvious lies and some language that could clearly be taken as a threat to my wife and I. And again saying that she was here illegaly and needed to go back to her country. I try to give people the benefit of a doubt but with this jerk there is no doubt what so ever. He said that she would have to wait for his lawyer to tell him what he should do with her permanent resident card And what a bad person she was for getting her friends involved. I called the police in her home town and explained the situation. The officer was very nice and even seemed to know quite a bit about immigration law but was not sure exactly what crimes may have been commited and that he felt the best place to start would be for her to return to Florida and for them to go to the house with her to retrieve her belogings.

She now see's him for what he is. She replied to his email and told him in no uncertain terms that she now knows her rights and that his lies and intimidation will not work with her anymore and that she is not going anywhere. He replied this afternoon in a very different tone saying that he had put her cards and documents in the mail and that she should recieve them here in three days (we shall see). Today she made contact with a distant family member that lives near her home city and they have offered to give her a place to stay until she can get on her feet. They also have a job lead for her and have put her in touch with an attorney that is a friend of the family. She is going to return to Florida later this week and I think she is going to be Ok.

Thanks again

samiam

Good news. She's lucky to have friends looking out for her. If you need any more advice, just post again.

[Caladan 19]

It seems like maybe the guy's figured out that his wife isn't actually his property to dispose of when he's bored.

But if he hasn't: she's still legally here. Treat it as you would if her purse had been lost or stolen; she has her passport to prove her identity (if she was getting on an aircraft), and everything else is just paperwork that can be replaced. For a fee in most cases, but think of it like losing her wallet. It's a fixable problem.

[kim&james 0]

That is good news. Make sure you keep in close contact with her to help her through this horrible situation. It is very wonderful of both your wife and yourself.

It is nice to hear that she will have some support in Florida. Hopefully she will be able to move on from this experience and live a wonderful life.

My best to you all.

[Mrs.J06 4]

Samiam, sounds like good news. Hope all will go well for her back in Florida.

I'd also like to point out that it is very good of you and your wife to take care of her and help her like you did!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

If you think the police are there to mainly intervene, solve, and prevent crimes, then you don't know what they do day to day. They take and file reports most of the time, especially the uniformed cops.

If the OP's friend is out of the house, has her papers taken, and was told a load of BS the police can and will show up to intervene in this dispute as soon as she makes the phone call and is back in the area. Her husband has no right to boot her out and force her to leave the country. She has just as much right to live there as he does.

If she goes back and the guy has her locked out or whatever she can call right then and there. She needs a report on file just to protect herself.

Anyways, I can't give more advice in this particular case. It's really up to her and what she feels like doing in regards to this case.

Whether you agree or not, I don't care, but once again I shall repeat that the police are not here to resolve disagreements between individuals UNLESS a crime has also been committed. And taking a report would do little or nothing for her unless she could take that report somewhere else, where someone else could use ti to render a decision! The police intervene, of course, in domestic disputes, when there is threat of bodily harm, which is a criminal offense. When there is a question of theft against the State, they intervene and file charges, but in the case of a conflict between two people that is really germane to a contract (marriage being a contract, by the way) then the matter is resolved in the law courts UNLESS there is threat of bodily harm.

And, P.S., yes, I do know what the police do from day-to-day, thank you very much. There was no need for your condescension, by the way.

[Jaseball 0]

I replied to this thread to give advice to the OP's questions and not to engage in a debate over the utility of police. I never said police resolve anything. I said if I were in that situation I would involve the police to document events and file a police report. People don't have to be physical for the police to show. Forcing your spouse to leave against their will is enough.

Regardless, the OP stated the person is aware of her rights and is no longer intimidated, so unless they post again seeking help I'll retire from this thread.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

but who is to say that she could not have had an argument and asked to be taken to the airport, and forgotten her cards?

That's why she should file a police report, to document that he "forcefully took" the identification from her. It's the need to document the trail of what happened. If something were stolen from you by your spouse and you didn't report it what do you think the first thing the judge would ask you in court would be, "If it was stolen from you, why didn't you report it to the police." My ex husband used my social security number to open a joint credit card while we were married without my knowing about it. The lawyer said I have to file a police report immediately or I have no leg to stand on.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

but who is to say that she could not have had an argument and asked to be taken to the airport, and forgotten her cards?

That's why she should file a police report, to document that he "forcefully took" the identification from her. It's the need to document the trail of what happened. If something were stolen from you by your spouse and you didn't report it what do you think the first thing the judge would ask you in court would be, "If it was stolen from you, why didn't you report it to the police." My ex husband used my social security number to open a joint credit card while we were married without my knowing about it. The lawyer said I have to file a police report immediately or I have no leg to stand on.

Nowhere did I suggest that the police should not be involved, but I did correct information in Jaseball's first comment, because I thought it implied that the police would resolve the matter. I am only making the distinction between what police can and cannot do, and what must rest upon civil

process. Of course it is wise for her to report this to the police, but I seriously doubt the police can retrieve the cards; nor do I presume that they can charge the husband with a crime for possessing her cards either. Now, I could very well be wrong, but I wanted to caution Jaseball, that the obvious doesn't always work.

For example, did you know that in some states, you cannot lock a spouse out from a house, and force him or her to leave the home if he or she has been living there for 90 days and has called it his or her permanent residence? Even if the locks are changed, do you realise that in some states even if he or she breaks in again, and shows anger and force in order to do it, no matter whether the incident is worrying to the person that changed the locks, the police cannot force the spouse to leave the home again? Would you not consider forcible entry against the law, yet in the marital context the police are impotent to do much more than to reason with the individual intent on returning to the home that he or she should move on. If the individual refuses, there is nothing more that can be done!

Edited October 16, 2007 by diadromous mermaid