This is what's going on.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

So................that's where I am coming from.

I truly do see, and as I said above, appreciate where you are coming from

do you perhaps also see where I am coming from?

[amrssnowangel 0]

Oh, the things I miss when I'm up to my backside in cardboard boxes and drywall dust.

As for the point of whether or not people were grumbling about processing times last year - of course they were. They were when I processed two years ago. They were when the site was started more than five years ago. In fact, lack of information and lengthy processing times were the REASON the site was started. So there is nothing new under the sun in that regard.

Is it something new on VJ that people have jealousy about those with shorter processing times? No. Is it something new for those members with shorter visa processing times to be told they 'can't possibly understand'? No. Not new at all.

The ONLY reason some of us who have been at this a while occasionally come forward to take another beating is to ask you all to look inward. The intent of my post (way back in this thread) wasn't about JUST the immigration processing you will have to endure after you are reunited.

I'm sure all of you still separated often say what my husband and I used to say - that you just want to be together. That you just want a 'normal' life - you just want to be a 'normal' couple. Well, guess what? One day, you will. One day (probably several years from now) you will wake up and realize that the foreign born spouse you wake up to each day is just another man or woman with only a few minor differences from the conventional mate you might have found in the states - you know, they have that lovely accent or beautiful skin color you couldn't find around the block. They probably have some virtues similar to what you were looking for in a spouse. I assure you they come packaged with some of human natures annoyances too. So.....in time.......all the waiting will fade away, it will pass, and you will have to deal with your long-distance lover just as you would have the boy or girl next door. For all of your sakes, I hope and pray you have not romanticized your separation beyond the point of not being able to see that eventual horizon.

But there is a layer to these relationships that is unlike the conventional kind. Are you prepared? Are you prepared for all the things previously mentioned - delays in being able to work and drive? Language barriers? Are you REALLY ready to help your spouse start over just like a child - having to learn all over again how to function daily in society? Learning how to post a letter, count currency, find a favorite cereal on a shelf? Learn what words and phrases are socially acceptable here, and what ones are not? Are you prepared to help them with everything and everyone they miss from home?

And are you prepared for how society will react to them? Are you prepared for the employers who subtley discriminate against hiring the non-American born? Are you prepared to help your spouse translate their foreign credentials so those willing to hire them can assess their qualifications? Are you prepared for the people who DON'T find your spouses' accent or skin color as charming as you do? Are you prepared for the hostility of them being viewed as 'another immigrant' seeking a greencard, looking to suckle off the great American prosperity machine solely for their own benefit and at the expense of American workers? Are you aware that all the media attention towards immigrants these days is not productive to your loved ones future in America? Are you aware that as laws are crafted (as they surely will be in the near future) they WILL affect your spouse? Even if those laws are designed to stop the flow of so-called 'illegal immigration' - are you aware that some they those laws will possibly reach in and touch your family?

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

Because we have chosen to love and marry someone from outside our culture and border, the rest of our lives will be different. In most ways, it will be beatifully and wonderfully different. Our families will benefit from blended cultures and our eyes will be opened to the differences of humanity. But in other ways (and hopefully they will be few for each of you) you and your spouse have challenges to face normal married couples don't experience. I am here to tell you that the fact your relationship survives this separation now IS NOT PROOF you will be able to endure all that life, immigration, society, and bigotry will throw at you.

Because one day, your life will be NORMAL. Can you handle the unique challenges you will face as a blended-culture couple once you are finally NORMAL?

With patience and understanding - you can. So - become patient now. The government is not the thing that will kill your relationship or your marriage. But American impatience and intolerance can - and I say American because that 'microwave mentality' is so prevalent in our culture today. We want what we want now and on our own terms.

Funny - life isn't really like that. Never has been and never will be.

Excellent...eloquently put.

I agree...are we all ready for these changes that will occur once our loved ones are here... My SO and I have already gone through currency training..practice it. He has learned how to do our internet banking, how to handle certain situations, write a US Resume, Interview with differing interview techniques...we've practiced these things over and over. He has a copy of the VA Drivers Manual. Pictures of our area and stores..We went out for "dinner" the other night online...and shopped the menus of many American Restaurants. Learned about currency conversion and dining etique. You are soo right, there is MUCH our SO's need to learn.. I for one was always willing to hold his hand through the adjustment process. Im learning Arabic foods, finding our local mosque, finding our Arabic businesses and restaurants in the area so he can feel a bit more at home. And we are both aware immigration will affect us for life...with that said...

I agree...those in desperate need should be processed fast. For ME...My issue isn't how FAST, but as you stated, Lack of information. Am I jealous CSC has all these recent approvals?? At times..but the greater problem isn't the speed but lack of knowledge...I for one think that if its a problem, we have the right to voice our concerns to our politicians. Nothing may change today...or even tomorrow...but its our right. Im not one to see a problem, complain, then do nothing...

Your post was dead on....and very well put...thank you for all you do here!!

[rebeccajo 14]

So................that's where I am coming from.

I truly do see, and as I said above, appreciate where you are coming from

do you perhaps also see where I am coming from?

Sure. If the original post had been asking a question about a particular filing procedure, I would agree that the pushing of 'agendas' (which I don't have, btw) is inappropriate.

But...the original post was about something supposedly contributing to current processing times. So a discussion occurred. Then some people decide that if you haven't waited as long as they did for an approval, then your commentary is irrelevant.

THAT is an agenda. Or impatience. Or rudeness. I'm not exactly sure which.

At any rate, I have no dog in this fight. Other than I care about peoples cases overall. I care beyond 'mycase'. If I didn't do you think I would put myself through this?

[Logres 0]

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

I liked your post a lot RebeccaJo, very thoughtful.

What are your thoughts on the issues that will be faced at the stage after US naturalisation? A few that spring to my mind are......

-The need to file Tax Returns forevermore.

-Lose the support of the British consul in the US.

I'm a ways off this at the moment, but hopefully we'll be in a position to have to decide whether I apply for US Citizenship at some point in the future.

[kits_24_faith 0]

This is a post to share what I believe and nothing more. Not to offend anyone, but more to give others hope and give encouragement to those that are still in wait including myself. It may or may not be the same to what rebeccajo had to say, but would like to thank her for what she had said, as well for the others. I hope the readers will get something out of this..

I would like to start with this very familiar verse, and if you haven't heard of it then I'm glad that you do know now.

1st Corinthians 13:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

LOVE is PATIENT, LOVE is KIND. It does NOT ENVY, it does NOT BOAST, it is NOT PROUD.

It is NOT RUDE, it is NOT SELF-SEEKING, it is NOT EASILY ANGERED, it keeps NO RECORD OF WRONGS.

LOVE does NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL but REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH.

It ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES.

LOVE NEVER FAILS. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and LOVE. But the GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.

We make choices in life everyday, and one of them is choosing who to spend the rest of our lives with and which path to take. Yes, we could choose to find love here, but sometimes love happens elsewhere. It is true indeed that loving someone from a different country with different culture and background can be more challenging. But this is the risk others have chosen for LOVE and what makes it more exciting. We learn to adapt, accept, and do whatever crazy things we could do just for love that we can't explain. Sometimes it crosses my mind why am I going through this when I can get away with it? Just find somebody here and no need to go through this process. But then it's all about TRUE LOVE why we have chosen to take this direction. We just happened to find it elsewhere unexpectedly and have chosen to stick with it. Ofcourse, each path we choose to take have consequences or challenges, but that is only to test us. We need to be reminded that life in this world is never perfect. Problems exist in our lives and it will never go away, it all depends on how we deal and face them.

Our fiance(e)s may not know how everything else goes around here in the USA, but I think we have forgotten the real reason why we are trying to get them here and be together...LOVE. It's not if they can speak English well or understand it or can communicate well, or know how to do things here in America, but for me what's really one of the most important aspect between a husband and wife is not only to understand the language that comes out of their lips, culture, background,etc....but the LOVE LANGUAGE BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE. I know the day will come when we no longer post here and go on with our lives, but before we can all have our separate ways.. Just want to share that JESUS LOVES ALL OF US HERE. One way or another, HE will make a way to bring us together with our fiance(e)s in HIS PERFECT TIMING. God bless us all and our fiance(e)s in different countries. We will OVERCOME THIS PROCESS guys.

[Sinergy 3]

It also must be nice to have your significant other from one of the 27 countries on the VISA Waiver Program so your loved one can come here and visit for 90 days without a VISA. http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/without/without_1990.html Oh wait, I am sure the compasionate ones who are here to "help" us will say something like, "nobody told you to fall in love with someone from a country that is not on the list..."or something else real intelligent, helpful, and caring.

So here you go to all of you "I just try to help people...but they don't want to listen to me (us)" people. Fresh blood here...time for you to feast and tell each other how right you are and how the newer members are just whiners...or call in the reinforcements and close the thread, delete the post, etc. Sure wish those reinforcements would cancel accounts for those of you who have nothing better to do than come on this board and in more than half of your posts in a week just throw sarcasm and attempted superiority at those you disagree with. I can't wait to read the words of wisdom those of you write after this post because it is burning so bad in you that you just have to reply to feel better about yourself and show everyone how smart you are.

Yea must be nice that ppl have an SO from one of those countries, unfortunately the majority of us who have been HELPING, even tho you chose not to accept the help don't have an SO from one of those countries, and the ones who do, they don't have the SO here with them bc immigration is so expensive they'd rather use the money on the plane ticket to bring their SO here when the visa is handed to them

and to the second bolded area, dude you seriously need to get a grip. if you don't want our help or advice, there are other message boards. attacking us in that manner is just childish, and we come back here bc we do help other ppl going thru the process, and believe it or not, we are very appreciated for the help and advice we do give on a daily basis. just bc some of us are done for a few years, doesn't mean we cant come back just bc you don't like that we are done with the process, or close to being done.

its called a public IMMIGRATION forum for a reason.

And i didn't respond to show how "smart i am" i certainly don't have to respond to a childish post for you to get that sence of pleasure. i responded bc you seem to have it out for everyone who has either finished the process and gives advice and help or for those almost finished and who don't find your additude very positive towards anyone who didnt just start the process.

Edited September 27, 2007 by Ionescu

[athena_ny 1]

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

I liked your post a lot RebeccaJo, very thoughtful.

What are your thoughts on the issues that will be faced at the stage after US naturalisation? A few that spring to my mind are......

-The need to file Tax Returns forevermore.

-Lose the support of the British consul in the US.

I'm a ways off this at the moment, but hopefully we'll be in a position to have to decide whether I apply for US Citizenship at some point in the future.

If you don't get into any trouble, you shouldn't need the british consul for much other than passport renewals if you so desire ^.^

[GoharRabia 0]

Well i just want to see more aprrovals at the end of the day so we can be w/ out loved ones!!! thats all!!!

think we all want the same!! and to think we are this way here on the site! those working our cases are probably the same way, with some people caring bout their job and security where as you may have another person who just does it to pass time!! who knows!

[no name 1]

B)-->

QUOTE(Bill B @ Sep 26 2007, 08:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So here you go to all of you "I just try to help people...but they don't want to listen to me (us)" people. Fresh blood here...time for you to feast and tell each other how right you are and how the newer members are just whiners...or call in the reinforcements and close the thread, delete the post, etc. Sure wish those reinforcements would cancel accounts for those of you who have nothing better to do than come on this board and in more than half of your posts in a week just throw sarcasm and attempted superiority at those you disagree with. I can't wait to read the words of wisdom those of you write after this post because it is burning so bad in you that you just have to reply to feel better about yourself and show everyone how smart you are.

[Sinergy 3]

Well i just want to see more aprrovals at the end of the day so we can be w/ out loved ones!!! thats all!!!

think we all want the same!! and to think we are this way here on the site! those working our cases are probably the same way, with some people caring bout their job and security where as you may have another person who just does it to pass time!! who knows!

Trust me we would ALL love to see the centers move a lot faster. I felt the same way a year and some months ago as well.

[Logres 0]

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

I liked your post a lot RebeccaJo, very thoughtful.

What are your thoughts on the issues that will be faced at the stage after US naturalisation? A few that spring to my mind are......

-The need to file Tax Returns forevermore.

-Lose the support of the British consul in the US.

I'm a ways off this at the moment, but hopefully we'll be in a position to have to decide whether I apply for US Citizenship at some point in the future.

If you don't get into any trouble, you shouldn't need the british consul for much other than passport renewals if you so desire ^.^

I wasn't planning on getting into any trouble I'm sure you're right, that this should not be a problem. The other possible scenario that immediatly springs to mind is that if we have children and wanted to obtain UK citizenship for them. I'm not anticipating that this would be a big issue, as we will no doubt continue to travel to the UK regularly anyway.

Opps, this post looks a little lost in a discussion on USCIS processing times........ I think I should start a new thread. It would be interesting to draw on people's experieinces of the issues that arise at even stages of an immigration saga.

[athena_ny 1]

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

I liked your post a lot RebeccaJo, very thoughtful.

What are your thoughts on the issues that will be faced at the stage after US naturalisation? A few that spring to my mind are......

-The need to file Tax Returns forevermore.

-Lose the support of the British consul in the US.

I'm a ways off this at the moment, but hopefully we'll be in a position to have to decide whether I apply for US Citizenship at some point in the future.

If you don't get into any trouble, you shouldn't need the british consul for much other than passport renewals if you so desire ^.^

I wasn't planning on getting into any trouble I'm sure you're right, that this should not be a problem. The other possible scenario that immediatly springs to mind is that if we have children and wanted to obtain UK citizenship for them. I'm not anticipating that this would be a big issue, as we will no doubt continue to travel to the UK regularly anyway.

Opps, this post looks a little lost in a discussion on USCIS processing times........ I think I should start a new thread. It would be interesting to draw on people's experieinces of the issues that arise at even stages of an immigration saga.

It did.

But on the UK citizenship - you should be fine getting that as well.

I not-helping-once-you-have-US citizenship-thing is more of a protection for the US so if you get into major legal trouble, etc. you can't go running to the British consulate and get assistance from the. For normal bureaucratic stuff like passports, and citizenship for children, it shouldn't be an issue.

[virgillionaire 0]

It also must be nice to have your significant other from one of the 27 countries on the VISA Waiver Program so your loved one can come here and visit for 90 days without a VISA. http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/without/without_1990.html Oh wait, I am sure the compasionate ones who are here to "help" us will say something like, "nobody told you to fall in love with someone from a country that is not on the list..."or something else real intelligent, helpful, and caring.

So here you go to all of you "I just try to help people...but they don't want to listen to me (us)" people. Fresh blood here...time for you to feast and tell each other how right you are and how the newer members are just whiners...or call in the reinforcements and close the thread, delete the post, etc. Sure wish those reinforcements would cancel accounts for those of you who have nothing better to do than come on this board and in more than half of your posts in a week just throw sarcasm and attempted superiority at those you disagree with. I can't wait to read the words of wisdom those of you write after this post because it is burning so bad in you that you just have to reply to feel better about yourself and show everyone how smart you are.

Yea must be nice that ppl have an SO from one of those countries, unfortunately the majority of us who have been HELPING, even tho you chose not to accept the help don't have an SO from one of those countries, and the ones who do, they don't have the SO here with them bc immigration is so expensive they'd rather use the money on the plane ticket to bring their SO here when the visa is handed to them

and to the second bolded area, dude you seriously need to get a grip. if you don't want our help or advice, there are other message boards. attacking us in that manner is just childish, and we come back here bc we do help other ppl going thru the process, and believe it or not, we are very appreciated for the help and advice we do give on a daily basis. just bc some of us are done for a few years, doesn't mean we cant come back just bc you don't like that we are done with the process, or close to being done.

its called a public IMMIGRATION forum for a reason.

And i didn't respond to show how "smart i am" i certainly don't have to respond to a childish post for you to get that sence of pleasure. i responded bc you seem to have it out for everyone who has either finished the process and gives advice and help or for those almost finished and who don't find your additude very positive towards anyone who didnt just start the process.

Let me say I'm in the noob camp:) although I did go through this before, unfortunately. Maybe I should have listened to RJ's advice.

But all this whining, if you will, about being attacked for not having it as hard as us is misplaced. That was raised because US Wendy's original thread about writing congress was virtually shouted down claiming it was whining.

One sage vet even said ' I love the sound of newbies whining in the morning.' So please don't come off like martyrs just trying to help someone.

It's kind of been ####### for tat since then. And I could really give a flying wallenda about someone's negative response to me. I don't know anyone here well enough to give it that kind of weight.

That said, I do appreciate the availability of people who have been through this and have knowledge to share. And this website is probably saving me a couple grand in legal fees, so I have to thank the organizers for that.

So maybe we should call a truce?, even though I admit it has been good theater

[rebeccajo 14]

Your journey is not over when you receive NOA2. It is not over when the visa is approved. It is not over when the greencard is received. It is not even over if your spouse naturalizes. Each step of the process brings you to another plateau and THAT IS ALL.

I liked your post a lot RebeccaJo, very thoughtful.

What are your thoughts on the issues that will be faced at the stage after US naturalisation? A few that spring to my mind are......

-The need to file Tax Returns forevermore.

-Lose the support of the British consul in the US.

I'm a ways off this at the moment, but hopefully we'll be in a position to have to decide whether I apply for US Citizenship at some point in the future.

I presume your referring to my contention that the journey continues even after naturalization.

My husband and I have discussed this and for us, seeing as how the UK will forevermore recognize him as a citizen, natz for us is a no-brainer. My husband has no holdings in the UK - any taxes he would be paying would be on US dollars anyway. And the only way we will probably ever return to the UK would be if we were desperately in need of health care. We'll be broke at that point anyway, so there won't be much for the US government to tax.

So I guess it depends on just how wealthy you think you might be later on. We don't expect to be.

As for the consulate - well that's already been discussed.

[rebeccajo 14]

Let me say I'm in the noob camp:) although I did go through this before, unfortunately. Maybe I should have listened to RJ's advice.

But all this whining, if you will, about being attacked for not having it as hard as us is misplaced. That was raised because US Wendy's original thread about writing congress was virtually shouted down claiming it was whining.

One sage vet even said ' I love the sound of newbies whining in the morning.' So please don't come off like martyrs just trying to help someone.

It's kind of been ####### for tat since then. And I could really give a flying wallenda about someone's negative response to me. I don't know anyone here well enough to give it that kind of weight.

That said, I do appreciate the availability of people who have been through this and have knowledge to share. And this website is probably saving me a couple grand in legal fees, so I have to thank the organizers for that.

So maybe we should call a truce?, even though I admit it has been good theater

The only 'attacks' that get up my backside are those by individuals who have a problem with my short visa timeline. Of course, I've listened to that for two years now and I should be over it. But it just gets really, really old.

It's very unfair to shove someone's good fortune back in their face. I particularly resent the comments as they imply (or outright declare) that I can't possibly understand the writers' misery because I've not walked in his shoes. That's blatantly unfair for a couple of reasons. First of all, few of you know me personally and therefore have no idea what 'level' of empathy I'm capable of. It's quite a lot - just to let you know. Secondly, I wouldn't still be here (nearly three years into our journey) if I didn't care about the process and those in it.

I daresay those who presently criticize my timeline won't be around here assisting other posters three years into their immigration stories. And I can say that with a good deal of certainty, because I've yet to see one who has.

I'd love to see a truce, but one shouldn't be necessary. People with shorter timelines than 'you' (collectively) are not your enemy. People reunited with their loved ones are not your enemies. We are just 'vets' and that is all we are. Some have bigger attitudes than others - it's the same with the 'newbs'. It's not hard to separate the wheat from the chaff in either case.

I'd love to see a truce. Tell me how we get there.