I751 divorce help - please!

[todd412 0]

Hello everyone,

I fully expect a torrent of abuse from a lot of people and to be called a fraudster etc… but heres my sob story –

I’m a British guy, left a good job in the UK to come here and marry my US wife.

Got married August 2004, Got Conditional GC August 2005.

Wife and I are and have had problems, no abuse or anything crazy – we both just want different things out of life, plus she has confessed to a few things about her past life that had I know about Im not too sure that I would have married her in the 1st place.

Our marriage is real, no doubt about it. We are not talking divorce yet but I can see it coming – I know how everything goes about the good faith waiver etc once the divorce goes through, but does anyone know what my chances are? – I mean the worst they can do is send me back to the UK, and ive got no problem with that – but ive got so many financial ties here that it would just be a huge pain in the ###.

I work in a Government job, I have the following proof of our relationship –

Joint tax returns for 2004 and 2005

Stack of utility bills in both names for the whole marriage

2 x Car registrations and finance bills goes to each of us at the same address

Whole marriages bank statesments showing us both paying our wages in and paying joint bills

Cell phone records showing that we call each other about 5-8 times a day for up to 30 mins a pop (as any real couple would do)

Several credit cards in both names

A huge pile of birthday / valentines / xmas etc cards from across the years to each other and from both of our respective families mentioning both of our names.

Copies of both of our health insurance cards covering both of us.

Letters from our work showing each other as Next of Kin and life insurance benificiarys.

Copies of cell phone text messages in which she details her faults and confessions

Emails to each other

I’ve no doubt that I could get at least 15 affidavits from other people (neighbors, co-workers etc) showing that we lived / existed as a couple – but don’t have them yet.

Copies of all medical bills used by her and paid for by my insurance

Receipts and doctors notes for an IVF treatment that we went though together in an attempt to get pregnant together, which failed and cost us $6500 out of pocket.

Photographs of us together taking trips, at work functions, house parties and of course photos from the wedding (attended by 200+ people) And a big pile of stuff like little notes relating to everyday things that we’ve written to each other.

Any one have any ideas what my chances are?

And purely out of interest, what happens if I re-marry before the expiration of the conditional card??? – can I still prove good faith, would it hurt me etc???

Thankyou all for thaking the time for reading this.

Todd

[dmartmar 1]

"Wife and I are and have had problems, no abuse or anything crazy – we both just want different things out of life, plus she has confessed to a few things about her past life that had I know about Im not too sure that I would have married her in the 1st place."

Who she was or what she did in her past shouldn't matter in your marriage. I assume that when you agreed to marry her, you did so out of true love first and foremost, and not b/c of who or what she presently appeared to be.

My immigrant ex-wife left me over the same reasons 4 mos. after we married and submitted her AOS paperwork, even though my past life was something she had known about and was fully aware of during the year we dated and before she agreed to marry me. She then out of the blue used my "past life" to justify abandoning me.

"Cell phone records showing that we call each other about 5-8 times a day for up to 30 mins a pop (as any real couple would do)."

Why then divorce?

Good luck to both of you, whatever your final outcome turns out to be.

How long did you guys date and have been married for?

Edited February 2, 2006 by dmartmar

[diadromous mermaid 36]

From the list you've provided, it seems quite comprehensive to me. Barring anything not disclosed, it appears you have the documentation required to demonstrate a bona fide marriage. Statistics on successful I-751 approvals don't specify under which category they've been approved, but the majority fall in your class, I'd imagine. You can remarry, it has little bearing on the removal of conditions.

[todd412 0]

Thankyou both for taking the time to reply -

I hear what your saying about marrying out of love, and i withgout a shadow of a doubt did that.

When we were talking about getting married I actually tried to get her to come to england with me, but she refused on the basis of her grandfather being here and that she needed to care for him.

Well here goes..

After we got married, the "grandfather" bought us a new house to life in - cash (he's very wealthy) as a wedding present and gift to his beloved granddaughter.

Well it turns out that granfather isnt grandfather at all, and in fact is an old guy that she used to sleep with several years ago (before the marriage) and in return for this mutually benificial exchange he took care of her.

Now id be willing to forgive and move on, but she wont leave him - ontop of that me being the nice guy that i am ive been taking care of "grandad" everyday - basically a nurse who free of charge changes the bandages on his legs (he has cancer) and showers him in additiion to all of the domestic stuff.

Its all pretty messed up

having said that i really do still love her, but i cant deal with this.

If makes me a bad person then so be it - but i just cant, he doesnt know that i know....

its all a mess

thanks

[dmartmar 1]

I couldn't, nor wouldn't put up with her, him, nor the situation you're in.

How come you've all along and so far agreed to practically be this old man's nurse? Don't you say your financial situation here is better than in England and as such, is that what's currently keeping you here? I mean, what do you do beside change diapers and babysit an old man every day, all day long? I mean, if this is all you do, get paid for and financially makes you better here then, why even complain?

If you have a CGC as you say you do; what's holding you back from talking to her, setting the record straight, then moving out? If you're in-love with her like you say you are, you put up with it. If you can't, nor want to any longer, move out. It's that simple.

I find it very hard to believe that you, as a man, would put up with such an absurd situation. Where's your dignity and sense of self respect as a man? You stay there b/c you want to.

Even more absurd to me is the fact she married you, brought you over, then had you move in at his house of all places to take care of him. Are you an Au Pair by any chance?

Edited February 4, 2006 by dmartmar

[daisy16 0]

Todd, you do NOT have to reply or go into detail about your private life. Warning! The more info you provide the more people will pull apart your life and find fault with your choices. Leave it alone, unless you want us to comment on how you live your life. It won't be pretty.

You told us you wanted to divorce but stay here, you gave us a list of proofs to Lift Conditions, and you got reliable advice from the mermaid saying you're good to go. You haven't been around long enough to see that she knows her stuff.

[todd412 0]

Again thankyou for your replies...

ive got no problems coming on here and baring my soul.... if i get critism for it then so be it - i dare say that i deserve some.

I'm not some fraudster thats here making all of this up - there would be no point at all in me asking for advice if i wasnt presenting the full facts, because obviously if i was lying then any advice given on a fake situation would be useless.

As for what happened with "Grandad" - well he did have a nurse that used to come over every day and do his legs etc but she ended up leaving him for a house move... so he asked me to do his legs etc for a couple of weeks till he could find someone else... well time passed and that was 9 months ago.

Should i be doing it? - No, but its hard to say no to the guy who put a roof over our head and literally paid cash for a house thats now worth in the Mid $600's and is all ours.

Until i found out about the history thing, i really did think he was a nice guy and didnt mind helping him out...

And no, i dont do that full time... like i said i have a 9-5 job.

As for wanting out, and staying here.... Well i gave up everything in England to start a new life here - i did it with honorable intentions and regardless of whether or not things work out between us or not i still have ties here, I like it here and I can get my old job back, but here.

I came here clean, but was cheated by the other party.... its going to be hard enough starting over again - and thats staying here.... going back would just be even worse.

Having said that, she can have the house and everything else - im not the goldigger type.

Thankyou mermaid, i have the proof and have it well documented - ill go for the waiver and the worst they can do is say no.

Thanks

todd

[dmartmar 1]

First,

"Should i be doing it? - No, but its hard to say no to the guy who put a roof over our head and literally paid cash for a house thats now worth in the Mid $600's and is all ours."

Then,

"Having said that, she can have the house and everything else - im not the goldigger type."

Based on the above statements; am I wrong in interpreting them as being contradictory or not?

[kc456 0]

The post above seems like a personal attack to me. I would ignore it.

[cassboyle 0]

The post above seems like a personal attack to me. I would ignore it.

Just getting back to the original question ... I think u have enough info. I am in a somewhat similar boat, as I was divorced before filing my I-751. My marriage was 100% legit. I don't have as much info as you do, however I have joint investment statements, copies of our wills, 2 affidavits from friends, photos, valentines day cards, joint taxes. My attorney seems to think I have enough. My interview is on Monday morning in L.A. so I will let you know how I go.

[todd412 0]

Wow,

thanks for posting - good luck to you for Monday, i really mean it.

Look forward to hearing about the positive outcome!

Thanks

Todd

[rbhigday 0]

First,

"Should i be doing it? - No, but its hard to say no to the guy who put a roof over our head and literally paid cash for a house thats now worth in the Mid $600's and is all ours."

Then,

"Having said that, she can have the house and everything else - im not the goldigger type."

Based on the above statements; am I wrong in interpreting them as being contradictory or not?

First he is helping the man out because he was so nice to them

Second he does not care if he gets the house because of who gave them the house

Wake up dmartmar, He was being nice to someone before he found out and after he found out about the ex he had no desire for the house. No they are not contradictory, and yes you are wrong and out of line!

[nigel 7]

I Sometimes Wonder why on Earth do Members come on here to rip into somebodys post...Is there lives so #######! they just want to try to be-little somebodys elses?....

It seems to me this guy was being human as possible, and asking a decent Question but some just want to twist and turn the hole thing around & Nit-pick... i find that Quite sad indeed..

Get a Life member you know who you are!

[dmartmar 1]

First he is helping the man out because he was so nice to them

Second he does not care if he gets the house because of who gave them the house

Wake up dmartmar, He was being nice to someone before he found out and after he found out about the ex he had no desire for the house. No they are not contradictory, and yes you are wrong and out of line!

That's cool rbhigday and I respect your opinion.

Well it turns out that granfather isnt grandfather at all, and in fact is an old guy that she used to sleep with several years ago (before the marriage) and in return for this mutually benificial exchange he took care of her.

Now id be willing to forgive and move on, but she wont leave him - ontop of that me being the nice guy that i am ive been taking care of "grandad" everyday - basically a nurse who free of charge changes the bandages on his legs (he has cancer) and showers him in additiion to all of the domestic stuff.

Its all pretty messed up

having said that i really do still love her, but i cant deal with this.

But as you can see, he still nursed the old man AFTER finding out the truth, but now is using that as the reason to justify seeking a divorce. That's what I can't seem to understand. I mean, if this bothered him SO MUCH, why stay, nurse the old man for a while, THEN decide to seek a divorce?

Edited February 8, 2006 by dmartmar

[portsaid 0]

Todd,

I think you have enough evidence to prove the marriage was bona fide, should be able to lift the conditiions and remain in the US. However, it is my understanding that you will need the final divorce decree in order to file the I-751 without your wife. I don't know what you timeline is, but if you are sure the marriage is doomed you should proceed with the divorce in order to file before your two years of conditional residency end.

I am sorry the marriage didn't work. Being divorced myself, I know it's harder than I imagined to live with someone you love. With the number of people who do marry for a green card, the thought of the foreign person using the USC for that reason does come to mind. I am NOT saying this is the case with you. It happens, it happened to me. I think when a person is used and hurt badly by someone they loved enough to marry it is only natural for him to be suspicious of others.

Good luck!