adoption

[AubreyJ 0]

Hi there- I wasn't sure which forum to put this in... but this seemed the closest! Haven't been on in quite a while since our journey is pretty much over (for a few years, anyways) but thought maybe you all might have some input into our friend's situation.

One of our friends was adopted and finally moved to the US just under 4 months ago. He met the missionary family at home and they hit it off. They did a lot of work together and had a good relationship for quite a while, so our friend was excited to live with them.

Well, since his arrival, things have changed. They changed his name, won't let him out of the house- even into the yard- and force him to study, often literally, from morning until he goes to sleep, seven days a week. But they won't let him go to a regular school - they insist on homeschooling. The other day he tried to walk to his nearest neighbor's house (about 5 miles away.. ) and she drove after him and brought him back home. When company comes over, they warn him that he's not allowed to talk to them. We've sweet talked the mother, but we're the only ones he's allowed to call- and even that is shaky ground and she listens in. And the mom recently took away his documents and greencard and hid them. (he knows where they are though....)

So. He is a good guy, and he fully intended to stick with this family. I know it looks bad to leave after just a few months, but they're making him crazy. Honestly, he calls us crying. And I don't think it's healthy. I know they're not beating him up, forcing him into prostitution, or doing anything illegal, but it's mental torture.

He just turned 18, and has applied for citizenship, based on the adoption, but that hasn't followed through yet. I guess all I'm wondering is if we rescue him and get him out of there, can the mom chase him down and get him deported? My first inclination is that he's an adult, and has a green card so he should be fine... but is that true? What if he waits for his citizenship? Any ideas?

I sent this off to my old lawyer too, but I'm not sure if she's still practicing- so if anyone has any ideas they would be much appreciated! You are all so wonderful and I thank you so much for helping out with all of our personal visajourney and any other questions I've had.

[Bobbie 1]

Hi there- I wasn't sure which forum to put this in... but this seemed the closest! Haven't been on in quite a while since our journey is pretty much over (for a few years, anyways) but thought maybe you all might have some input into our friend's situation.

One of our friends was adopted and finally moved to the US just under 4 months ago. He met the missionary family at home and they hit it off. They did a lot of work together and had a good relationship for quite a while, so our friend was excited to live with them.

Well, since his arrival, things have changed. They changed his name, won't let him out of the house- even into the yard- and force him to study, often literally, from morning until he goes to sleep, seven days a week. But they won't let him go to a regular school - they insist on homeschooling. The other day he tried to walk to his nearest neighbor's house (about 5 miles away.. ) and she drove after him and brought him back home. When company comes over, they warn him that he's not allowed to talk to them. We've sweet talked the mother, but we're the only ones he's allowed to call- and even that is shaky ground and she listens in. And the mom recently took away his documents and greencard and hid them. (he knows where they are though....)

So. He is a good guy, and he fully intended to stick with this family. I know it looks bad to leave after just a few months, but they're making him crazy. Honestly, he calls us crying. And I don't think it's healthy. I know they're not beating him up, forcing him into prostitution, or doing anything illegal, but it's mental torture.

He just turned 18, and has applied for citizenship, based on the adoption, but that hasn't followed through yet. I guess all I'm wondering is if we rescue him and get him out of there, can the mom chase him down and get him deported? My first inclination is that he's an adult, and has a green card so he should be fine... but is that true? What if he waits for his citizenship? Any ideas?

I sent this off to my old lawyer too, but I'm not sure if she's still practicing- so if anyone has any ideas they would be much appreciated! You are all so wonderful and I thank you so much for helping out with all of our personal visajourney and any other questions I've had.

It almost seems a call to to child services is necessary.

While he is homeschooled, can he pass competency tests?

And that just seems abusive to me.

Rescue this kid!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Homeschooling is a red flag.

I hope he gets out of there!

[KarenCee 3]

Homeschooling is a red flag.

I hope he gets out of there!

Technically no it isn't. Homeschooling in and of itself isn't a red flag in any situation. My best friend homeschools and her children take the ITBS and pass it with flying colours. It's administered by an outside service so no accusations of cheating or help can be made. IF AubreyJ does call Child Services, the homeschooling probably won't be an issue. All the other things listed in the OP's post would definately be an issue.

To the OP...he is 18. With the green card, as you know, he IS an LPR and technically he is an adult. I would suggest talking with a family law attorney as to what this young man's options are.

Edited June 6, 2007 by KarenCee

[broma25 2]

The situation seems very weird to me....why on earth would somebody adopt an 18 yr old???

He is an adult, if I were him I would get my documents and walk out the door. He has a green card how is he going to be deported???

Very very strange story IMO.

I wish him well though!

[LaL 418]

The situation seems very weird to me....why on earth would somebody adopt an 18 yr old???

children stay in the system until they turn 18. It is quite possible that he was a young to mid teen when they started the process. At any rate, kids deserve parents wether they are newborn or young adults.

[nane1104 146]

As far as I understand adoption- you can't take it back like you can divorce a spouse. So since he has a gc, I don't think they can get him out of the country. They are tied together through the adoption, but that doesn't mean he has to stay with them.

It's like any other child/teen. If he gets abused there, try to get him out of that environment!!

[Zee Bee 61]

If he has a greencard and is 18 I don't see why he can't leave. He is an adult after all. He can go and stay with whoever he wants. He is very clearly being abused and needs to get out of that situation ASAP.