Immigrant spouses vs. American Spouses

[Minya's wife 25]

When the two foreign countries are vastly different in economic stability, etc...the American has a lot more 'buying power' overseas....?

Anyone who can't recognize that is being silly

I can't help but feel like your sentence above is not finished. Were you replying to someone's response specifically?

-P

[Caladan 19]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

Come on. It doesn't mean your spouse is a gold-digger, or that you're a bad person, because financial security makes most marriages happy. But let's be clear: the chance at a better life is not an insignificant part of the attraction, no matter what the advertising tells you about patience, kindness, and traditional values.

[Minya's wife 25]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

And by that same token, the argument that "Love is blind, I don't care what kind of financial situation he/she has...I didn't come here because of the better possibilities for material wealth" also rings hollow. IMHO

-P

[Caladan 19]

Yup. Mind you, I don't think that's a bad thing if no one's abusive or committing fraud.

Just that berating American women for being materialistic on one hand and bride-hunting in impoverished countries on the other seems to put the lie to the claims of having found an anti-materialist paradise.

[Nancy2015 2]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

And by that same token, the argument that "Love is blind, I don't care what kind of financial situation he/she has...I didn't come here because of the better possibilities for material wealth" also rings hollow. IMHO

-P

I don't disagree with you, but how would people like myself and my husband fit into this picture? I knew he was poor and had absolutely nothing, yet it didn't stop me from marrying him. Also, I come from a very wealthy family, but I doubt that it played any role in my hubby's decision to marry me. Oh well, my family don't do anything for us anyways

[Minya's wife 25]

I just don't understand why there needs to be a label put to it "Immigrant Spouses vs. American Spouses" and the issue discussed at all. To each his/her own....wherever you find your happiness, take it! Don't try to categorize it, or justify it because it never fits into any neat little theory that 'fits' to all situations.

-P

[Minya's wife 25]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

And by that same token, the argument that "Love is blind, I don't care what kind of financial situation he/she has...I didn't come here because of the better possibilities for material wealth" also rings hollow. IMHO

-P

I don't disagree with you, but how would people like myself and my husband fit into this picture? I knew he was poor and had absolutely nothing, yet it didn't stop me from marrying him. Also, I come from a very wealthy family, but I doubt that it played any role in my hubby's decision to marry me. Oh well, my family don't do anything for us anyways

That's exactly what I wanted to say in my previous post....there is no explanation that fits all scenarios. When it works, it just works, regardless of financial/material wealth of either party. It may be something that is considered at some time, on either end, but I don't think it can be applied to say that American spouses are overwhelmingly this while Immigrant spouses are overwhelmingly the other.

-P

[Caladan 19]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

And by that same token, the argument that "Love is blind, I don't care what kind of financial situation he/she has...I didn't come here because of the better possibilities for material wealth" also rings hollow. IMHO

-P

I don't disagree with you, but how would people like myself and my husband fit into this picture? I knew he was poor and had absolutely nothing, yet it didn't stop me from marrying him. Also, I come from a very wealthy family, but I doubt that it played any role in my hubby's decision to marry me. Oh well, my family don't do anything for us anyways

I'm not saying it's universal by any means! Nor would I assume it just based on the country of origin.

Just that if a guy comes on whining how American women are all money-grubbing whores unlike all foreign women of Impoverished Country X Who Have No Interest In Money, I am probably going to think, and justifiedly so, that he's at best deluding himself.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The argument that "American women are so materialistic so I went overseas where my primary romantic asset is my material wealth BUT THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!" rings a bit hollow.

Come on. It doesn't mean your spouse is a gold-digger, or that you're a bad person, because financial security makes most marriages happy. But let's be clear: the chance at a better life is not an insignificant part of the attraction, no matter what the advertising tells you about patience, kindness, and traditional values.

Newport Beach here in the OC is full of 'trophy' wives, it's just that these fine ladies happen to be out of some of these guys' price range.

[Jenn! 918]

Just that if a guy comes on whining how American women are all money-grubbing whores unlike all foreign women of Impoverished Country X Who Have No Interest In Money, I am probably going to think, and justifiedly so, that he's at best deluding himself.

Also, the money-grubbing American woman stereotype goes out the window when you're talking about comfortable American women who choose men from Impoverished Country Y.

[Caladan 19]

I hadn't thought of it that way. Sort of an outsourced American trophy wife.

Just that if a guy comes on whining how American women are all money-grubbing whores unlike all foreign women of Impoverished Country X Who Have No Interest In Money, I am probably going to think, and justifiedly so, that he's at best deluding himself.

Also, the money-grubbing American woman stereotype goes out the window when you're talking about comfortable American women who choose men from Impoverished Country Y.

Shh, you're getting in the way of the stereotyping. I myself grubbed two whole pennies today.

[JoeMama 0]

I just don't understand why there needs to be a label put to it "Immigrant Spouses vs. American Spouses" and the issue discussed at all. To each his/her own....wherever you find your happiness, take it! Don't try to categorize it, or justify it because it never fits into any neat little theory that 'fits' to all situations.

-P

I agree with ya on your statement. Whatever suits ya, go for it! The discussion started primarily about attitudes displayed toward immigrant wives of American men from American women. I get the occasional smirk or negative comment whenever I mention that my fiancee' is from Ukraine. It comes from both men and women here. I was married to an American woman for 11 yrs. It was about 6 years too long looking back in retrospect. Been there, done that. Times, dating, & priorities have all changed. I wanted something fairly more traditional in the attitude toward romance. Not how well my credit report or financial profile looked. One day, I decided to get on a plane and go to Eastern Europe without knowing anyone or anything there. Yes, I love the unexpected and the excitement! I ended up in Ukraine and there was an immediate attraction for me to the women there. Shallow? Absolutely! I knew what I wanted was there. 4 trips and 2 years later, I found the one lady that shares all the same family values, etc., as me. It's all about FAMILY to us. Money means nothing to either one of us. If we cannot build a strong foundation for our family to be built upon, it's not going to grow and endure. Her family is fantastic and supporting of our union. That's what I wanted. I'm looking forward to around August or September when she should be here.

To add, there are crappy people everywhere in this world. It doesn't matter where you go. I'm 1/2 Filipino. And yes, I know some Filipinas that I wouldn't recommend anyone to be with!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I hadn't thought of it that way. Sort of an outsourced American trophy wife.

Heh...outsourced - that is fitting.

In seriousness though, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if that's what people want (marriage as a commodity). As long as they're not being delusional about it ..."I bought the best damn wife money can buy" ...me, I got mine at the salvation army.

[Caladan 19]

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[one...two...tree 2,762]

eBay! "one canadian, in excellent condition!!!! New With Tags MUST SEE!!!!"

I'm curious how many of us (USC) had wondered how much of a factor, if any, the opportunity to live in America played with regard to our relationship?

I don't think such a factor makes one's relationship any less valid.