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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: England
Timeline
Posted

My American wife is asking a British wedding question that a bloke like me has no clue how to answer.

 

In America, there are traditional wedding things the bride's family or groom's family pay for. So please comment on this scenario of an English wedding---

Marriage in the morning at the registry office with about 25 guests, wedding breakfast around noon, evening reception for bigger group at bride's family home with tent, bar, music, wedding cake, etc.

 

Is there anything the family of the groom should traditionally offer to pay for having to do with clothes, rings, flowers, food, transport or whatever?

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline
Posted

Years ago it was different but now more common to split direct costs.

 

Groom buys the ring, usually each side bears its own direct cost, clothes whatsoever.

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Posted

Traditionally the bride’s father or parents footed most of the bill. But that was in the days when people married very young, weren’t already living together and,in many cases, straight after school. 

 

Nowadays most couples live together beforehand and are both working. My first marriage was in England to another Brit. We lived together beforehand and were both earning more than my parents. I couldn’t possibly have expected my parents to pay for anything. Apart from the fact that I wanted to set my own budget, choose my own style and colors and had my parents been paying I would have felt uncomfortable telling them “I want this, not that” even though “this” might be twice the price of “that”. 

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Posted (edited)

I am the UK bride - and we got married in the UK but this is how we split things: 

 

Bride's family - wedding dress, bridesmaid and maid of honour dresses and jewellery, all ceremony and reception costs - both day and evening including flowers, wedding cake, free bar and entertainment, photographer, the coffee and cake reception the day after the wedding for guests who stayed overnight - overnight hotel accommodation for bride's immediate family and bridesmaids (we were aiming to pay all hotel accommodation for groom's immediate family too but my mother-in-law sneakily paid for it before my father got the bill.) 

 

Groom's family - rehearsal dinner costs, groom's clothes, wedding rings, honeymoon, their own transport costs

Edited by Trellick
Posted

Trying to think back to my SiL's wedding over there.. they had a church wedding along with all the other typical traditions. She and her husband paid for most of it themselves. My MiL paid for a few things, like the gown and cake I think, and my FiL paid for a fancy car. Don't really think the groom's family paid a dime. But I think every family is different, and a lot of couples might just cover the costs themselves.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: England
Timeline
Posted
14 hours ago, yuna628 said:

Trying to think back to my SiL's wedding over there.. they had a church wedding along with all the other typical traditions. She and her husband paid for most of it themselves. My MiL paid for a few things, like the gown and cake I think, and my FiL paid for a fancy car. Don't really think the groom's family paid a dime. But I think every family is different, and a lot of couples might just cover the costs themselves.

The couple is planning on paying themselves but we can certainly well afford to pay for something. I just didn't know if there was a traditional thing the groom's family might offer to pay. There is no rehearsal dinner which usually is a groom's family thing in the US. My wife can't get her head around Wedding Breakfast because it's not actually breakfast. 🤷‍♂️ So it's a meal at noon. Maybe we can do that. I'm guessing the bride's family may be paying for the reception which is in the evening at their home.  So will they do food again at that, do you think? 

 

 
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