I feel so helpless!!

[Euro 3]

I have a very very dear best friend in England we have been great friends since we were only 4 years old, we are both now 42 , long time uh!!

I talked to her today on the phone, her husband of 3 years has just died!! he only in his 30s too, sooo young, they dont know for sure yet what caused it, possibly his heart!, I just feel so devastated I soooo want to go to England to be with her, she was there for me when my son died!!

I want to just hop on a plane to be with her, but I now have my husband to consider, as we plan on going to England together in 5/6 weeks for my interview!!

I realy feel i should be there for her though, I dont know what to do my head is all over the place, I'm going to talk to Mark tonight and probably decide!

this is such a heart break

Amanda

Thank you for letting me share my feelings!!

Edited March 20, 2006 by euro

[KarenCee 3]

(((((((((((((((((Amanda)))))))))))))))))) so sorry to hear your sad news about your friend. Hope there's a way you can be there for her.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Top of my head answer: Go

I doubt Mark would be against it - he loves and knows you - and your friend needs you, and he probably 'gets' that you need to be there for her

Hope it works out whatever you both decide

[MaryandMian 1]

Amanda,

You can support her via the phone and all and then go to her in 5 or 6 weeks. Please take my advice I was widowed in my 30s back in 2002. I had all the support I could handle for roughly two or three weeks and then everyone left. I mean I was alone and have been since. I think you would do more service if you went in few weeks and stayed with her or spent time with her. I know that I do not have words to ease the pain but I know that she will be more at a loss in weeks than now. Now she is making arrangements and then in weeks it will be hitting her fully. Take care and wish all of you the best in your decisions.

Hugs,

Mary

[Nearly Done 8]

Amanda, I am so sorry for your friend's loss, so sad I can understand your need to be there as soon as possible, but Mary has an excellent point, lots of people are there at the begining. She will probably need you more in 5 or 6 weeks time. My heart goes out to you

[Euro 3]

Yes that makes alot of sense!!................ I said to her i'll come over like now, she said she couldnt ask me to do that & not to worry as lotsa people are around her, she said she wished i was there though ..................i should take a few days to think about it, i dont want her to think its "putting me out" any, she's my friend and she would come here if the boot was on the other foot!!

[Melo 1]

Sorry to hear about your friend's loss... I think you should listen to the message your friend is conveying "she wishes you were there" - so I would say go - just my opinion of course. But lots of love and hugs to you Amanda.

[gimygirl 0]

amanda!!! *biggest hugs*

i would have to say that mary's advice has been the single best advice i've ever seen on VJ (sadly because of her firsthand experience).

april 28th is 5wks & 4days away ... if you leave in two fridays on april 7th - it will be 3 wks from now and 3 weeks from your interview. i know she is as close to you as a sister and will appreciate the time you can spend together after everyone has returned to their 'normal' lives.

you're in my thoughts as you think about your plans!

[aussiewench 9]

awwwwwwwww Amanda *HUGS* I am so sorry to hear of your dear friends loss of her husband......how very tragic and sad. I can so imagine what you must be feeling with your need to be there for her. I agree with Mary, being there for her in 5-6 weeks time when everyone else has departed and it really sinks in, you will be a godsend to her. You will do what you feel you need to though Amanda

Thinking you you

[blackbettie 0]

First of all: (((((((hugs)))))))

I totally agree with aussiwench. Now, everybody is there and she has plenty to do (like organizing the funeral and such (oh my god, this is so horrible)), but in a couple of weeks when the relatives and acquaintances have gone again and everything sinks in and she's alone, then you're really going to be godsend.

Oh my, what a horrible story. I wish you 2 lots of strength.

[munchkins 0]

Amanda, I am so sorry to hear of this, and understand how devastating the dilemma that you are now facing, I think I agree with Lorelle here though, your friend will have so much to do and her family will be with her but when you are finally there I would think it will be a godsend at that time.

What ever way you decide to go Amanda will be best for you, keep you chin up love

[Welshcookie 17]

awww....Amanda.....what a difficult situation. Lots of excellent advice given to which I cannot add. Whatever you decide to do I wish you strength, and thoughts are with your friend.

[daisy16 0]

hugs amanda, this is tough on you too.