how do you guys hang in there?

[dora_david 0]

hi...im new here...and i will start soon to aply for k1 visa and it would take a while(i understand at least 6 months)..if u are in same situation...how u guys deal with this? what u do to maje everything easyer? i didint saw my fiance since 2 months and im going crazyyyy...im loosing my mind...and we didint started yet with visa staff...we will soon

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Start by realizing that even 'normal' couples who don't go through immigration hell can sometimes have to endure long absences. Accept it.

[almaty 19]

Start by realizing that even 'normal' couples who don't go through immigration hell can sometimes have to endure long absences. Accept it.

spoken like a true therapist..you are in the wrong profession brother arijit..

[slim 1,533]

Use this time to connect without the complications of sexual contact.

For instance, when you live with someone, or are seeing someone, etc., you can have make-up sex, break-up sex, getting-back-together sex, etc.

When you're apart, you can't have any sex. (Well, at least not with the other person actually touching you.... there are several things you can do individually, but that's for another thread.) So, what you must do is have all the communications that you would normally have, but without the touching aspect. It will force you to interact on an intellectual level more than a couple that is in proximity to each other would. Body language, actions, etc., are replaced by volume, tone, and inflection. You can really get to know the other person without touching.

And the only thing you lose by not being together is the touching. Live your life like you normally would. Do the things you would normally do, and take this time that you're not with your sweety to do the things you couldn't do with him/her. Go to the ballet (if they hate the ballet) get your hair done, go play golf, go fishing, hot-rodding, etc. Whatever it is that you like that your S/O isn't particularly interested in, do a whole lot of that now, so that way when you're together, you'll have more time for touching!

Patience! And remember, this is a good time to build evidence for your case. Send each other old-fashioned hand-written letters and pictures. Call each other, e-mail, etc. Don't do too much though.... remember, you still have your life! Include each other, but don't try to force each other into your own lives.

Good luck!

[ya falaha! 0]

Slim, you are too cool. Great post!

[almaty 19]

Use this time to connect without the complications of sexual contact.

For instance, when you live with someone, or are seeing someone, etc., you can have make-up sex, break-up sex, getting-back-together sex, etc.

When you're apart, you can't have any sex. (Well, at least not with the other person actually touching you.... there are several things you can do individually, but that's for another thread.) So, what you must do is have all the communications that you would normally have, but without the touching aspect. It will force you to interact on an intellectual level more than a couple that is in proximity to each other would. Body language, actions, etc., are replaced by volume, tone, and inflection. You can really get to know the other person without touching.

And the only thing you lose by not being together is the touching. Live your life like you normally would. Do the things you would normally do, and take this time that you're not with your sweety to do the things you couldn't do with him/her. Go to the ballet (if they hate the ballet) get your hair done, go play golf, go fishing, hot-rodding, etc. Whatever it is that you like that your S/O isn't particularly interested in, do a whole lot of that now, so that way when you're together, you'll have more time for touching!

Patience! And remember, this is a good time to build evidence for your case. Send each other old-fashioned hand-written letters and pictures. Call each other, e-mail, etc. Don't do too much though.... remember, you still have your life! Include each other, but don't try to force each other into your own lives.

Good luck!

bravo well stated bro slim...

[dora_david 0]

thank you for your advice..is very hard like this but i hope everything will be ok...thank u.. God bless

[brnidokiegurl 1]

PATIENCE and knowing others on here are going thru some of the same times, make some new friends here and hang with them, it helps.

[ya falaha! 0]

Prozac and cigarettes also help.

Just know that you're not alone. Just about all of us have freaked out about this at one time or another.

[slim 1,533]

VJ helps a lot!

Just remember, you will be together some day!

[dora_david 0]

i know this will make our relationship stronger...we can do anything together..nothing it would seem so hard after we will go trough this..but is very hard because of this time appart thank you slim for your advice..

[Ta Ta 1]

Last time I saw my fiance was May 2006.

Some days are so bad I want to scream and some days are good.

This is a roller coaster ride so buckle your seat belt and follow the advice

given to you. Collect items to proof your relationship, clean out closets to make

space for your honey when he/she gets here and try not to put your life on hold.

Keep active and surround yourself with supportive friends on and off VJ.

[Niels Bohr 72]

I'm not loosing my mind. Although, I do think of her night and day wherever I go. I always tell myself, if I loose my mind she will not have a good future with me so I must continue what I'm doing.

[craigandkym 0]

How do we all endure? I guess just by doing it. I have my daughter (shared joint custody with my ex) so she takes up a chunk of my time. I focus on fixing up my house. I work full time that takes up a chunk. I go out with my friends and I talk about him constantly Everyone knows I'm not single!!

He and I talk on the phone ALOT!! I've recently switched my Verizon to have unlimited UK calling. It's only like...$40 per month. So I call him all the freaking time, poor guy!! He stays busy at work, with his friends and so on. But we make time for each other every week. For years we've kept Wednesday nights as sacred...we spend it alone usually having a phone date that lasts for hours!! We stay in touch with each other via the net too of course, but at least now I can listen to him a lot even if I can't "touch" him. Think of it like Slim said...it's really only the touching we're missing. If we stay close mentally ... the touching will happen.

At the end of the day he's worth it and I know it..so I wait.

Good Luck on your journey!!

~Kim

[Mirorgate 0]

My guys hang in there a little to the left.