Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

[Jenn! 918]

It's possible I read things into certain responses that weren't there, I'll grant that. It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage.

Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

This is the way those responses make me feel.

What if I said I want to keep my maiden name to show the deep respect and love I have for my father and the traditions of our family? Wouldn't that sort of imply to you that I somehow thought that people who took their husband's name had less repect and love for their fathers?

It's just that no one has brought an original viewpoint to this thread for quite a while, and to me it has started sounding a bit like people bragging.

[ivona 0]

phiew, 24 pages......

in Croatia it is completely up to a personal choice: you can change your name, you can leave it, you can take both names.... whatever you choose......

I thought about what I will do, and David and I talked about it obviously....

and I decided that I will change it...why you ask.... because my last name is very language specific and every single place or person I would mention it too (in the US) would require me to spell it out, and constantly correct their pronaunciation.... and seeing how I will have to do the same thing with my first name, let`s face it...after a while- it will just get too damn annoying...

not to mention my last name contains characters not existing in the english alphabet

on a different note, I like an explanation my friend offered for the name change and how it will affect me...I understand you have to know me as a person, and the beliefs I share with this particular friend to fully get it, but just bear with me please...

she was looking at it phonetically:

my maiden name, Bublić - would stand for something bubbly, up in the air, very transparent, cheerfull, impatient, needs things to happen NOW and so on....

my husbands name, Foster - would stand for "to foster growth", firmly on the ground, patient, dedicated, moving forward and so on....

I rather like her explanation

[pedroh 21]

zomg this thread is aliveee!!! brainsssss

[Fixer 0]

Among Native American tribes (of which I am a member) it is common for the male to take the surname of his wife's family. In discussions with Ivona, however, it was decided that this would be a bit confusing so we decided the other way around given the difficulty she would have in the USA with her last name being so unfriendly to our keyboards and pronounciation.

Besides I love my new name, it goes well with my first name - now tell me, if you had a choice of Sharon Starr or Sharon Edwards hahaha which would you have picked?

Well, I would have picked Sharon Edwards, myself, because Sharon Starr sounds like a porn star name. (please don't take offense, this is just what I think when I hear that)

[almaty 19]

Among Native American tribes (of which I am a member) it is common for the male to take the surname of his wife's family. In discussions with Ivona, however, it was decided that this would be a bit confusing so we decided the other way around given the difficulty she would have in the USA with her last name being so unfriendly to our keyboards and pronounciation.

Besides I love my new name, it goes well with my first name - now tell me, if you had a choice of Sharon Starr or Sharon Edwards hahaha which would you have picked?

Well, I would have picked Sharon Edwards, myself, because Sharon Starr sounds like a porn star name. (please don't take offense, this is just what I think when I hear that)

i have worked on various reservations and never heard of this..what tribe?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... tell me, if you had a choice of Sharon Starr or Sharon Edwards hahaha which would you have picked?

Well, I would have picked Sharon Edwards, myself, because Sharon Starr sounds like a porn star name. (please don't take offense, this is just what I think when I hear that)

You clearly watch too much porn

[almaty 19]

... tell me, if you had a choice of Sharon Starr or Sharon Edwards hahaha which would you have picked?

Well, I would have picked Sharon Edwards, myself, because Sharon Starr sounds like a porn star name. (please don't take offense, this is just what I think when I hear that)

You clearly watch too much porn

no doubt....i would have chose allysin chaynes

[Fixer 0]

i have worked on various reservations and never heard of this..what tribe?

I am a member of the Apalaciacola Tribe of Eastern Creek Indians. I wasn't raised among tribal members and I favor my father who is caucasian so nobody would ever know I was 'an injun' unless I told them. What I know of tribal ways and means has come by heresay when I speak to various family members on that side. I got the whole surname bit from multiple family members so I am inclined to believe it. No one has actually followed it in recent years but apparently it was once very common.

Hmmm... I did say "is" instead of "was", didn't I? I apologize. wonders how to change it

[almaty 19]

i have worked on various reservations and never heard of this..what tribe?

I am a member of the Apalaciacola Tribe of Eastern Creek Indians. I wasn't raised among tribal members and I favor my father who is caucasian so nobody would ever know I was 'an injun' unless I told them. What I know of tribal ways and means has come by heresay when I speak to various family members on that side. I got the whole surname bit from multiple family members so I am inclined to believe it. No one has actually followed it in recent years but apparently it was once very common.

Hmmm... I did say "is" instead of "was", didn't I? I apologize. wonders how to change it

respect...i had a friend jay whitecrow, creek, ...who use to do psychodrama with indian children in the tulsa area awhile back...i know little about the 5 civilized tribes and learn something today...dean

[Donna A 4]

I am a family with my husband now and changed my name for that reason. in syria the woman dont change either and my husband was shocked that we did. i asked him the true spelling of his name (al-khatib or alkhatib) so i could change everything and he said what do u mean change everything. i explained how we change our names to our husbands name here and he was honored. he liked this idea so much and kept saying...donna alkhatib...its like musical. i like the sound of that.

after my name was changed and i had to send him things for him to take to his visa interview his friend in saudi arabia asked him why my name is the same as his and he told him the story and his friend said....i wish my wife could have my last name too.

so it was a hit with them overseas.

[Oulupair 0]

I read an article on this very issue recently, which I don't agree with completely, but it had an interesting take and it made me think.

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/9.htm

It's a cultural thing, definitely. That article sounds like it was written by someone who is very old-fashioned and conservative and not very enlightened. If a name has nothing to do with identity, then why is it not common for the husband to take his wife's name? I mean, if the writer of that article really thinks that a shared last name is so important, they should suggest that a man taking his wife's name is just as meaningful.

I kept my name because it just felt natural to do so. I am a feminist, and I like being different. My Finnish husband thinks it's cool that I kept my own name and for a while he considered taking my name but then didn't bother to act on it.

My husband's parents are an interesting case. They actually had the same last name before they married even though they were not directly related (nope...nope..I'm sure there was no inbreeding there), so nobody can really tell for sure who took whose name or if they each kept their own name.