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Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

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pax Proficient

pax   0

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No, actually, your choice doesn't bug me, either. Or even the reasons for it.

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there's nothing wrong with you

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On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

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babybunny Mentor

babybunny   2

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It's possible I read things into certain responses that weren't there, I'll grant that. It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage.

Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! ;) As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

As one of the ones who BUGS you, that's pretty crappy of you to say something like that. If you feel that it's a commentary on YOUR Reasons for or for not taking your husband's name...that's your own issue. Don't project on others your own issues, please.

Sorry I BUG you so much. YOu say that you don't want to make one choice more "valid" than another, yet my reasons for my choice basically are wrong in your eyes??

I mean how would you feel if I said, "Anyone who doesn't change their name to be more "professional" bugs me..."

it'd prob. tick you off.

I agree with you fully. I am one of those that will bugg her too. " I wanna be all his " so thats why

I changed both my names. BUG BUG. and frankly its a personal choice. I adore my choice

as those who have decided to change or not.

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CarolineM Experienced

CarolineM   0

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umm ok. It must be Friday because i'm confused

"It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage."

Finally finished with immigration in 2012!

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pax Proficient

pax   0

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Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! ;) As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

People. Seriously. Learn to read.

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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CarolineM Experienced

CarolineM   0

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Thanks for the tip. Learning to read is FIRST on my "to do" list.

Edited by karo112

Finally finished with immigration in 2012!

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pax Proficient

pax   0

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*sigh*

I spelled it out pretty clearly there, I think.

Abby (U.S.) and Ewen (Scotland): We laughed. We cried. Our witness didn't speak English. Happily married (finally), 27 December 2006.

Latest news: Green card received 16 April 2007. USCIS-free until 3 January 2009! Eligible to naturalize 3 April 2010.

Click on the "timeline" link at the left to view our timeline. And don't forget to update yours!

The London Interviews Thread: Wait times, interview dates, and chitchat for all visa types

The London Waivers Thread: For I-601 or I-212 applicants in London (UK, Ireland, and Scandinavia)

The London Graduates Thread: Moving stateside, AOS, and OT for London applicants and petitioners

all the mud in this town, all the dirt in this world

none of it sticks on you, you shake it off

'cause you're better than that, and you don't need it

there's nothing wrong with you

--Neil Finn

On second thought, let us not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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magnusstahre Newbie

magnusstahre   0

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At this point I have kept my maiden name ... because I can't even pronounce my husbands last name correctly :P

A guide to pronounciation / Handelshögskolan i Stockholm :P

Well, she pronounces most of it correctly. It's just that the last syllable seems to be a hard one for Americans to pronounce.

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ChristinaM Proficient

ChristinaM   0

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Perhaps it depends on where you put the emphasis.

"I want to be all his!" reads differently and has different connotations to "I want to be all his!", and is different again to "I want to be all his!".

The first could, in a twitchy mood, be construed as a put-down of others who don't change their name. The second implies a giving of oneself completely, and the third implies a possession of sorts.

It's all in the reading, and I think we're all reading differently today!

:star:

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Miranda&James Experienced

Miranda&James   8

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I kept my name 1. for professional reasons and 2. I just find the whole taking his name thing outdated and corny. Just my opinion :yes:

If there would have been any name change, we would have probably argued a lot and then settled on choosing an altogether new name for the both of us. I still gag internally when someone calls me "Mrs". I aint never gonna get used to that one. Maybe I'm just too fiercely independant? :rolleyes:

Mrs. is just an indication that you are married though, so does being acknowledged as being married make you feel sick? :blink: Unless you mean being called Mrs. Your husbands last name. Then again, most people just say that since it is most common for a woman to take her husbands last name.

Not insulting you or anything, I'm just curious as to what you meant :)

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Dixie_Peach Experienced

Dixie_Peach   1

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I will take my husband's last name as my last name (keeping my maiden name as a middle name)... for aforementioned reasons... and also

1) because i love him

2) because i respect him

3) because it is a romantic aspect of being united in holy matrimony

4) because i love him... hehe... did i mention that?

5) because i am proud to be his wife (wife-to-be at the moment)

6) i am sure that there are other reasons... but just can't think of them at the moment

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

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The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

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john_and_marlene Mentor

john_and_marlene   162

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:lol:
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aussiewench   9

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An overview of Security Name Checks And Administrative Review at Service Center, NVC & Consulate levels.

Detailed Review USCIS Alien Security Checks

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View Timeline HERE

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Dixie_Peach Experienced

Dixie_Peach   1

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everyone has their reasons for changing or not. no one is wrong either way.

I agree... i think politics, religion, and taking of a husband's last name can be pretty prickly issues... but, i agree with shon... everyone has their own personal reasons... neither right nor wrong... just a personal reason

Tho' lovers be lost, love shall not... and death shall have NO dominion!

http://www.geocities.com/pulpi33/A1.htm

114959908992789.gif

The will of God will never take you,

to where the grace of God will not protect you.

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