the infamous ex husband and control over step kids

[cdneh 3,112]

If a father is not doing his job as OP has suggested why not adopt? Why not give the child a loving nurturing environment? Nothing that wouldn't be "smart" about that.

The children can have a loving nurturing environment without being adopted. And while he may not be 'doing his job', he is still their father. He may not be keen on signing the kids over, when he understands that it's going to cost him a fair few bob to travel half way around the world for visitation. And if you get consent, and want it to stick, make dead sure it's informed consent.

[NikLR 13,220]

It's much easier and cheaper to have a notarized consent form for the children to move than adoption etc...

[zinger143 3]

Each embassy and country is different. My embassy doesn’t require anything from the birth mother, even though we had it done; however, they said we must follow the national law. So then they needed to go to court and get a certificate authorizing the child to travel with her father from the mother. I had the birth mother also write a note at the notary giving her consent to travel with her daughter in general so we could go on vacations and to permanently live in the United States so she can’t later say we kidnapped her.

This process is much simpler because in order to adopt you must strip the parent of their legal rights as their guardian, and while they may be a shitty parent unless they are not mentally competent or have been abusive to the children you typically can’t strip them of their guardianship. You can take away their custody rights, but guardianship is what you’ll need to take away if you want to adopt them. I just went through this, the judge agreed the mother was a horrible mother and even made her cry in court about her behavior and things she has done, but said since the mother wasn’t mentally incapacitated he could not strip her of her guardianship. That is when we used the court to draw up a document that states she allows us to travel with her and permanently live in the United States and then go to the court that deals specifically with children for the authorization to travel document. After being berated by the judge for not wanting to give her daughter a better life she was more willing to draw up the documents, though this could have backfired and made her angrier and she could have dug her heels in.

So you will need to check with the government what you need from the father to travel, and try to work with him to get that as well as a notarized note that he gives his permission for you to travel so you don’t have to worry about kidnapping charges. At least once you have that paper he can change his mind and it will be too late. Check with the embassy if they require anything specific, they may or they may not, but you’ll need to follow Australia’s laws about traveling out of the country.

I’m sorry to hear he was abusive, but unless he was abusive to the kids it won’t help you, and even then if he hasn’t done anything in the past 4 years that may not be enough. Getting custody taken away is one thing, but guardianship is extremely more difficult beside time consuming and expensive. My advice would be to implore to his better nature, offer some money, get the documents, and hit the road before he can change his mind.