Is my future Thai Bride a Bar Girl?

[Karee 4,189]

You know the old saying, "you can take the girl out the bar, but you can't take....................." Or so I've heard it said.

That's true in almost all cases, although I have seen some exceptions. Rare exceptions. I hung out with a lot of these girls as a group on a daily basis for a year or so. Partied with them, went on trips within Thailand etc. The story about them working in a bar to support the family back in the village in the biggest lie of them all. That money goes to the latest handbag, latest mobile phone, new designer shoes etc. In some cases it supports a Ya Baa habit. Very little of that money ever makes it's way back to the village. These girls I hung out with would have 5 different farang boyfriends all on the hook at the same time from different parts of the world. I used to laugh when two of them were coming to Bangkok at the same time. It was funny watching them try to juggle that. They usually pulled it off with no issues though.

They're experts at the game and have either been doing it for quite awhile or have been taught quite well by people that have been doing it a long time. The main goal, and only goal for that matter, is to separate the farang from as much money as possible. Even though I was taken for a ride in the beginning, I have no hard feelings, and by the same token really don't have much sympathy for the guys either. If you get mixed up with a bar girl, you know deep down what you're getting yourself into no matter how young and hot she is. Hence my advice to rent and not buy.

[Boiler 43,458]

But, but....

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Hollywood fairy tales

[Boiler 43,458]

Hollywood fairy tales

[Ning 619]

That's true in almost all cases, although I have seen some exceptions. Rare exceptions. I hung out with a lot of these girls as a group on a daily basis for a year or so. Partied with them, went on trips within Thailand etc. The story about them working in a bar to support the family back in the village in the biggest lie of them all. That money goes to the latest handbag, latest mobile phone, new designer shoes etc. In some cases it supports a Ya Baa habit. Very little of that money ever makes it's way back to the village. These girls I hung out with would have 5 different farang boyfriends all on the hook at the same time from different parts of the world. I used to laugh when two of them were coming to Bangkok at the same time. It was funny watching them try to juggle that. They usually pulled it off with no issues though.

They're experts at the game and have either been doing it for quite awhile or have been taught quite well by people that have been doing it a long time. The main goal, and only goal for that matter, is to separate the farang from as much money as possible. Even though I was taken for a ride in the beginning, I have no hard feelings, and by the same token really don't have much sympathy for the guys either. If you get mixed up with a bar girl, you know deep down what you're getting yourself into no matter how young and hot she is. Hence my advice to rent and not buy.

The best example I know of does exactly what Karee describes. The money is spent on all of these things instead of her family including her two kids. Once in awhile she will return to the village and spend a little on them but her mother pays for almost everything by working 7 days per week.

Her daughter is working a German guy now. She tells him she is in school taking German which of course he is paying for. She had him pay for a cosmology school which she actually attended but doesn't really want to work in that business. She just likes to play with the makeup ect.

There are many women in Thailand that do not work in these bars so I hope no one believes this is all women can do to make money. I know many that are hard working successful women that do not need a man to provide for them.

[Karee 4,189]

But, but....

I think a lot of foreigners justify they're long term relationships with hookers based on that movie. That somehow the reason they're hookers is because they have no other choice. Here comes the foreigner to the rescue. Unfortunately, that's the furthest thing from the truth. Truth is, they enjoy the lifestyle and the easy money. It's better than working in some rice paddy for 10 hours a day for peanuts. They make big money for doing very little. Get taken shopping. Get to stay in nice hotels. Get taken out to eat. Hell I'm starting wish I was a young Thai girl!!

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So what happens when they are not so young?

[Karee 4,189]

The best example I know of does exactly what Karee describes. The money is spent on all of these things instead of her family including her two kids. Once in awhile she will return to the village and spend a little on them but her mother pays for almost everything by working 7 days per week.

Her daughter is working a German guy now. She tells him she is in school taking German which of course he is paying for. She had him pay for a cosmology school which she actually attended but doesn't really want to work in that business. She just likes to play with the makeup ect.

There are many women in Thailand that do not work in these bars so I hope no one believes this is all women can do to make money. I know many that are hard working successful women that do not need a man to provide for them.

Yeah I tried sending my first girl back to school. She'd leave everyday in her uniform. The I'd get my credit card bill (yeah I was stupid enough to give her a credit card) and come to find out she was shopping at Central World all day instead of going to school. She was pulling the wool over my eyes in a lot of ways. Keep in mind we lived together in Bangkok. I can only imagine what it's like for some guy that's 10 thousand miles away.

[Karee 4,189]

So what happens when they are not so young?

It's kinda funny. After awhile you rotate out to Phuket, then maybe Pattaya (the worst place on the planet) You can still make money by working at the bar. Basically when you buy a round of drinks for the girls, they get a cut of that. Of course the girl drinks are more expensive. The bars I hung out in had a bell. When you ring the bell you buy everyone a drink. I left there many nights after running up a $150 tab.

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So to use a Football example they get relegated down through the divisions.

Makes sense.

[Ning 619]

So to use a Football example they get relegated down through the divisions.

Makes sense.

Some that lived near me when I was a little girl changed leagues and became what today is called human traffickers selling girls to people that sent them to these bars. Their own families would bring them to sell them into this life or they were kidnapped.

[Karee 4,189]

Some that lived near me when I was a little girl changed leagues and became what today is called human traffickers selling girls to people that sent them to these bars. Their own families would bring them to sell them into this life or they were kidnapped.

Now all it takes is for them to show up back in the village with their new IPhones and nice clothes.

[Boiler 43,458]

OK

Moved into Management.

[Damian P 92]

I figured I'd compile a list of warning signs since these questions get asked a lot.

1. Did you bar fine her in Pattaya the first time you met her? The question is the answer on that one.

2. Does she work in Pattaya, but she's from Isaan?

3. Does she work at a girly bar, but only claims to be a hostess?

4. If you did meet her in a bar, does she claim that she she has only been in that line of work for a short period of time? Or that she is only in that line of work so she can send money back home?

5. Is she asking for money for things like family emergencies, English school, or flat out saying I wont work in the bar if you send her enough money? (she'll keep the money and continue working in the bar)

6. When you call her, does her phone go straight to a recording between 8 pm and 4 am Thai time. This is a HUGE one. It could mean she has multiple SIM cards and doesn't want to take calls from you while she's with her Thai boyfriend or she's with a customer. Also, some of the mama sans have rules about them using their phones while working. In Thailand if a phone is powered down, it will not ring at all like it will in the U.S.

7. Does she disappear for days at a time, where you can't get a hold of her, and then comes up with some story about her phone being broken, and then asks you for money for another phone.

8. Wants you to build a house for her parents back on the farm as part of the agreement to marry you

9. Wants you to buy her a car. (Why would you buy her a car if she's planning on moving to the U.S.?)

10. Am I a middle age/old age/overweight/balding/ugly all of the above guy, that couldn't possibly attract a fine looking American piece of ### but is happy to convince myself that young, hot Asian women will genuinely want me for me? Yes? Then I'm a ###### idiot and I deserve to be fleeced.

[JIJourney 96]

Good luck with that. Kind of like asking a car salesman if the car you want to buy is a good price.

Maybe if they like spoke and expressed their feelings over dinner or something. A relaxed setting.