Anyone Else Married / Engaged To An Egyptian?

[MiaAndSabry 6]

AYMAN_RINA-- My guy is from Cairo Never been there, but maybe someday when things calm down more in Egypt, I would like to go.

LizzieBee-- Oh for sure, our biggest one is that I am MUCH more of a cuddler and more affectionate than him. He is one of those people who really likes a ton of personal space. I don't know if that is cultural or not... Some people say so... But for the sake of each other, we do our best to look for balance so neither of us goes nuts, lol. Its hard, but when you find someone who's really got your back, you have to hang on to it.

All I know is, he is extremely devoted. Before we got married, he had to "double check" with me, lol. He said,

"I know you divorced your last husband, and you had a very good reason to. But I really cannot get a divorce. Ever. Nobody in my family ever has, and I couldn't handle that kind of shame. For most Americans, a divorce is "devastating" and they get over it in a year or two. But for me, in my family, it would just be the end of my life. So before you marry me, you gotta promise me that we are gonna work everything out. I swear to God I won't abuse you, or cheat, or anything like that. But anything else-- we have to work it out. I just CANNOT divorce you, that's not an option. Marriage is forever with me. So you have to be sure of that first."

I really had to think about that one, lol. When you go through a bad marriage, a divorce and then meet a few weirdos after that, you get scared and paranoid about whether or not a decent man really exists... And I was trying to consider HIM. Just because my culture and family don't care, it doesn't mean I can be careless with someone else. But I finally said yes, not only because I love him, but because I figure if I can't make it work with a guy of his devotion, then I can't make it work with anyone, lol.

jacqueline6001-- I'm originally from Cali too, lol. We're probably gonna have to do the I-30 too, but while he is still here.

[sara..... 371]

Married January 17th 2014 Cairo.....still in Cairo as I type this

[Heather&Ramy 22]

Hey there, welcome to the site, I'm sure you will find lots of great information and support. I'm from Pittsburgh PA! I'm engaged to an Egyptian. You should DEFINITELY visit Egypt when you get a chance, I'm in Cairo right now and I've been to Egypt 4 times, for a total of nearly half a year... I was even here during the June 30th protests and the ousting of Morsi! Definitely be careful and use your best judgement, but it is certainly possible to visit Egypt and be as safe as you can be in America.. I've been in Egypt for the last 3 months, and my fiance just had his interivew today and so we have been in Cairo for a few days, and I've been walking the streets looking pretty darn American (but respectful) and I haven't had even a bad look. A lot of people are really delighted to see me and try out some English, actually. Of course you have to use common sense about being out late or in situations that might turn into a protest, but mostly Egyptians are very friendly and going about their normal lives.

Good luck on your adjustment process! It's cool to see someone else from PA on here.

Edited January 21, 2014 by Heather&Ramy

[Mithra 1,185]

Definitely not cultural. My husband is far more affectionate than I am. I'm the one that needs a lot of personal space.

AYMAN_RINA-- My guy is from Cairo Never been there, but maybe someday when things calm down more in Egypt, I would like to go.

LizzieBee-- Oh for sure, our biggest one is that I am MUCH more of a cuddler and more affectionate than him. He is one of those people who really likes a ton of personal space. I don't know if that is cultural or not... Some people say so... But for the sake of each other, we do our best to look for balance so neither of us goes nuts, lol. Its hard, but when you find someone who's really got your back, you have to hang on to it.

All I know is, he is extremely devoted. Before we got married, he had to "double check" with me, lol. He said,

"I know you divorced your last husband, and you had a very good reason to. But I really cannot get a divorce. Ever. Nobody in my family ever has, and I couldn't handle that kind of shame. For most Americans, a divorce is "devastating" and they get over it in a year or two. But for me, in my family, it would just be the end of my life. So before you marry me, you gotta promise me that we are gonna work everything out. I swear to God I won't abuse you, or cheat, or anything like that. But anything else-- we have to work it out. I just CANNOT divorce you, that's not an option. Marriage is forever with me. So you have to be sure of that first."

I really had to think about that one, lol. When you go through a bad marriage, a divorce and then meet a few weirdos after that, you get scared and paranoid about whether or not a decent man really exists... And I was trying to consider HIM. Just because my culture and family don't care, it doesn't mean I can be careless with someone else. But I finally said yes, not only because I love him, but because I figure if I can't make it work with a guy of his devotion, then I can't make it work with anyone, lol.

jacqueline6001-- I'm originally from Cali too, lol. We're probably gonna have to do the I-30 too, but while he is still here.

[Ayman___ 92]

AYMAN_RINA-- My guy is from Cairo Never been there, but maybe someday when things calm down more in Egypt, I would like to go.

My husband is from more south than Cairo about 1 hour and half.One day you should go it's like home for me and you will feel the same.In my husband's city I am the only American there when I visit.All know me and always welcome me there.I have the look of Egyptian but I am of Italian origin.They always give me a second look when I speak Lol they think I am trying to fool them with speaking English.Welcome to the forum.... we have many kind and informative people here.

[together4evr 360]

When does his F1 visa expire?

[Mithra 1,185]

I'm always a little leery when someone insists that divorce isn't an option and that they would never do it or consider it. Egyptians get divorced a lot so it's not something unusual or shameful. Also the insisting that someone will NEVER cheat or be abusive. Actions not words. Just be cautious. Not saying your husband is dishonest or scamming you just saying that lots of guys here on tourist, work, or student visas marry Americans to adjust status. Again, actions not words. Actions long term not short term when papers are at stake. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

[LizzieBee 25]

Family is definitely more central in Egypt so I know divorce is much less common there. They are VERY dedicated and family is the #1 most important thing to every Egyptian I've met so far, and I know quite a few! That's one of the things I love most about Egyptians. I was raised Mormon and Islam is very similar in the lifestyle and how much it values a home life. Divorce definitely happens, but it's also much more of a cultural stigma and negative stereotype than it is in America. Kind of like divorce felt here in the US maybe 75 years ago. Has anybody else noticed that Egypt is about 75 years behind the US in a lot of things--furniture style, feminism, etc.? Ha ha ha...

[sandinista! 1,816]

Divorce is less common due to Egypt's prevailing misogynistic interpretations of Islamic family law that are a far cry from sunnah ideals. The ways it falls short of those ideals isn't the kind of thing i say hahaha about, but that's just me.

Edited January 21, 2014 by sandinista!

[LizzieBee 25]

Enlighten me

[sandinista! 1,816]

There are lots of funny, corny things going on in MENA, and they're fun to talk about. I just wouldn't put actual human suffering and pain in the same humorous context. Egypt's human rights deficits for all of their citizens don't belong with their corny furniture and amazing studio photography effects is all.

[LizzieBee 25]

I meant "enlighten me about the misogynistic interpretations" but on second thought, I think we'll just let it slide. This thread was meant as a gathering cry from someone looking for a community of people in a similar set of circumstances, and I don't really want to derail that. I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who gets lectured, warned, and judged by people all the time for being in a relationship with an Arab man and it's nice to find a place where other people can be supportive. I'm sorry if my lighthearted tone struck a nerve. It's very difficult to express tone online and I can assure you that I'm not flippant or ignorant in any way whatsoever about women's rights or human rights in general.

[Mithra 1,185]

Actually the divorce rates in Egypt are climbing and are close to our numbers here in the states particularly with young couples.

[LizzieBee 25]

Would any of you engaged/married to an Egyptian be interested in starting a Facebook group for support and conversation more privately?

[Mithra 1,185]

There are a few FB groups already ongoing for wives of Egyptians. I'm sure someone involved can send you the info if they read this thread. I'm not involved in any of them personally as I feel like it's a lot of blowing smoke up rear ends and backbiting while pretending to be supportive. Not to be cynical but I feel like these "support" groups and even some comments on this site are women selling each other a bill of goods. Not a whole lot of real honesty or support going on. Nor does anyone really appreciate honesty or support unless it involves things ppl want to hear.

Edited January 22, 2014 by Mithra