Anyone Denied CFO Every Went to Other CFO?

[Texsinbad 6]

After talking more with my fiancée, I learned that she got the VERY worst kind of counselor. A woman who thinks that she is helping or saving young women from their "mistakes".

The counselor was also a mother with daughters, and told my fiancée that she would NEVER allow her daughters to be with a old man.

I told my fiancée that she should have asked why she should be with a younger man who might lie, cheat, or abuse her when she knew how good her "old" man was after living with him for over 1 1/2 years.

Just being with someone younger doesn't mean it would be better. Age isn't a factor in how good a person is.

She will try again, but is worried about going back to Manila CFO and having the same counselor or the counselor influencing another counselor.

It is sad that the counselors pretend or play God by deciding other people's fate or lives. I am sure that wouldn't like someone else telling them who they could be with or where they could live.

[Texsinbad 6]

Visa was approved, but CFO denied. Counselor didn't like our age difference or that I had been married a couple of times before.

Besides being the type of person who thinks she is doing good, the counselor was a mother with daughters who told my fiancée that she would NEVER allow her daughters to be with an "old" man.

It didn't matter that we have lived together for over 1 1/2 years here in the Philippines. The counselor assumes she knows what is best for my fiancée when age isn't a factor on how good a man is. A young man might not treat or be as good to her as I am.

My fiancée is also shy and hesitant and let the counselor bully her, but back home, she is so mad at the counselor and CFO for playing God deciding people's fate or lives.

She wishes people would demonstrate against the unfairness of it. She would also like to hire a lawyer to fight them.

So, back to the original question. After denial, are there any options or recourses?

Too bad there isn't a "black market" for CFO stickers.

[typo808 11]

Sorry this has happened to your fiancé. I am 28yrs older than my fiancé and have been divorced twice. The CFO consular also tried to bully her into thinking that the age difference was too much.

That's when my fiancé put her foot down. She told the consular "I don't care that he is older and especially not what you think about it. I love him. It's my choice to be with him"! The consular eventually backed down.

Other than going to another CFO office, maybe another visit without being shy?

To the Visa process sages, is it worth another visit to the same CFO office?

Edited October 18, 2013 by typo808

[Caryh 5,206]

After talking more with my fiancée, I learned that she got the VERY worst kind of counselor. A woman who thinks that she is helping or saving young women from their "mistakes".

The counselor was also a mother with daughters, and told my fiancée that she would NEVER allow her daughters to be with a old man.

I told my fiancée that she should have asked why she should be with a younger man who might lie, cheat, or abuse her when she knew how good her "old" man was after living with him for over 1 1/2 years.

Just being with someone younger doesn't mean it would be better. Age isn't a factor in how good a person is.

She will try again, but is worried about going back to Manila CFO and having the same counselor or the counselor influencing another counselor.

It is sad that the counselors pretend or play God by deciding other people's fate or lives. I am sure that wouldn't like someone else telling them who they could be with or where they could live.

The law states the CFO is to advise the citizen. They actually have no right to deny a citizen, but then this is the Philippines. The odds are rather slim she'll get the same person or have the same problem a second time. Advise your fiancee she has every right to get that stamp if she knows the material presented, and its also her right to tell an offensive counselor its not up to her to decide who she should love and marry, but to insure she knows what to do if things go bad.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Pretty much the same topic as you other posting.. answers will be the same - Your fiancee needs to be more self-assured (assertive), confident and for sure look them in the eyes when she speaks. Like said by others - stand up for herself and her choices.

[Ryan H 3,791]

Similar topics merged.

[Texsinbad 6]

We appreciate everyone advice and suggestions. We won't stop, but as I said before "it is hard to change a kitten into a lion".

This counselor was very hard on my fiancée. Not just about the age difference, but about my previous marriages. She started out by asking her why she wanted to be with an old man? What about his other marriages--meaning that there must be something wrong with me. That I must be a bad or evil man. Remember, my fiancée and I have lived together for over a year and a half, and if I really was a bad man, she would know it.

What are you going to do when he is old and sick and have to take care of him? And more questions like this.

She started off attacking her and NEVER quit. With the counselor's attitude and after saying that she would NEVER let her daughters be with an old man, my fiancée NEVER had a chance.

As I also said, too bad that there other options or ways to complain this type of treatment.

[clairegie 265]

The law states the CFO is to advise the citizen. They actually have no right to deny a citizen, but then this is the Philippines.

I for one had no idea that CFO even denies anyone. I thought they were just there to give a seminar and prepare you, not play devil's advocate.. I think they are going way beyond their scope

[sweet cakes 326]

Visa was approved, but CFO denied. Counselor didn't like our age difference or that I had been married a couple of times before.

Besides being the type of person who thinks she is doing good, the counselor was a mother with daughters who told my fiancée that she would NEVER allow her daughters to be with an "old" man.

It didn't matter that we have lived together for over 1 1/2 years here in the Philippines. The counselor assumes she knows what is best for my fiancée when age isn't a factor on how good a man is. A young man might not treat or be as good to her as I am.

My fiancée is also shy and hesitant and let the counselor bully her, but back home, she is so mad at the counselor and CFO for playing God deciding people's fate or lives.

She wishes people would demonstrate against the unfairness of it. She would also like to hire a lawyer to fight them.

So, back to the original question. After denial, are there any options or recourses?

Too bad there isn't a "black market" for CFO stickers.

Just curious ... I didn't know anybody can attend a CFO seminar without the passport. Your fiance just had her interview October 16, if I remember it correctly. Did she have her CFO seminar a day or 2 after that? Is that even allowable?

[Hank_ 9,173]

I for one had no idea that CFO even denies anyone. I thought they were just there to give a seminar and prepare you, not play devil's advocate.. I think they are going way beyond their scope

Welcome to CFO reality land...

[The Conqueror 47]

Pretty much the same topic as you other posting.. answers will be the same - Your fiancee needs to be more self-assured (assertive), confident and for sure look them in the eyes when she speaks. Like said by others - stand up for herself and her choices.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Ah... are you riding piggy back in your wedding dress?

[The Conqueror 47]

Ah... are you riding piggy back in your wedding dress?

Oh yah!!!!

[Hank_ 9,173]

Oh yah!!!!

Very cool!!

[mrsSpitze 9]

The more you think of CFO as hindrance the more it will become a hindrance to you.

True. You cannot turn a kitten into a lion overnight but she has to make the CFO people/person feel that what you guys have is real.

Good luck!