help me plz,,,my fiance s gone

[LaL 418]

If he returns before the 90 days are up, and wants to get married, BE CAREFUL. If he does not return before the 90 days are up, he has blown his chance with you immigration-wise

actually those who have married outside of the 90 day window have just supplied the I-130 as well with the I-485 to adjust status.

[maya62 7]

Oh, right... thanks Lal Brandow for correcting that.

Either way, I think she should be VERY careful if he turns up at the door wanting to reconcile!

Maya

[Fandango 1,439]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

Be nice! What I think you mean is that you saw the logic in what I said yet needed to save face so went for the personal barb.

See? Paraphrasing sucks, lol...

Edited December 5, 2006 by LisaD

[aussiewench 9]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

Be nice! What I think you mean is that you saw the logic in what I said yet needed to save face so went for the personal barb.

See? Paraphrasing sucks, lol...

The one thing DM does not need to do, is save face here on VJ. Her reputation stands for itself.

Keep going Lisa, you are managing to do your reputation wonders and alienating many along the way. Not that you obviously care.

Paraphrasing sucks, lol..

So does mocking

Edited December 5, 2006 by aussiewench

[sarah and hicham 3]

Here's what I think... if the OP is not American then I think it's the woman however if not then I think the OP is the man trying to find out if he can stay here or not.

K bye!

Sarah

[sarah and hicham 3]

The reason I say the OP might not be American is based on how the paragraph is written.

[kitzz 0]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

thats really sad.. if i were you, report this to the authority.. be a stinker so he'll learn his lesson.. move on and be happy. u deserve someone better

[Fandango 1,439]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

Be nice! What I think you mean is that you saw the logic in what I said yet needed to save face so went for the personal barb.

See? Paraphrasing sucks, lol...

The one thing DM does not need to do, is save face here on VJ. Her reputation stands for itself.

Keep going Lisa, you are managing to do your reputation wonders and alienating many along the way. Not that you obviously care.

Paraphrasing sucks, lol..

So does mocking

Ok, Aussiewench, let's replace 'save face' with 'deflect from the conversation at hand and start making it personal'. This was not a personal discussion by any means, and tbh I feel it was unjustified to condescend as far as my character and 'had I seen your siggy, I wouldn't have bothered' My siggy is done very tongue and cheek, but to bring it up as means to condescend was a bit unnecessary and out of line.

Oh, but that's ok with you, right? Cos I'm the biotch who's asking for by disagreeing, eh? Ok, I'll take it. Of course my reply was sarcastic, but if you're here to berate someone for turning this personal, you've addressed the wrong poster.

As far as 'my reputation'...well if it's expected for one to be part of the rainbow brigade and not say how one really see things...you're right, I don't care. I'm not concerned with pacifying the happy police by not being straightforward....ironically, my original point in this thread. There's a middle ground to pleasant and fake...those who know me know who I am...and those who judge me because I'm not all fake supportive,understanding and happy 24/7 and actually am capable of having a difference of opinion?! ...well, no...I don't care what those people think because their opinions are based in nowt but conditional superficiality.

Be nice all the time like us or it's ok for us to call you the board azzhole

I have no problem discussing this with you further if you want...so feel free to send me a pm.

Edited December 5, 2006 by LisaD

[Jenn! 918]

Good Lord.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

Be nice! What I think you mean is that you saw the logic in what I said yet needed to save face so went for the personal barb.

See? Paraphrasing sucks, lol...

The one thing DM does not need to do, is save face here on VJ. Her reputation stands for itself.

Keep going Lisa, you are managing to do your reputation wonders and alienating many along the way. Not that you obviously care.

Paraphrasing sucks, lol..

So does mocking

Ok, Aussiewench, let's replace 'save face' with 'deflect from the conversation at hand and start making it personal'. This was not a personal discussion by any means, and tbh I feel it was unjustified to condescend as far as my character and 'had I seen your siggy, I wouldn't have bothered' My siggy is done very tongue and cheek, but to bring it up as means to condescend was a bit unnecessary and out of line.

Oh, but that's ok with you, right? Cos I'm the biotch who's asking for by disagreeing, eh? Ok, I'll take it. Of course my reply was sarcastic, but if you're here to berate someone for turning this personal, you've addressed the wrong poster.

As far as 'my reputation'...well if it's expected for one to be part of the rainbow brigade and not say how one really see things...you're right, I don't care. I'm not concerned with pacifying the happy police by not being straightforward....ironically, my original point in this thread. There's a middle ground to pleasant and fake...those who know me know who I am...and those who judge me because I'm not all fake supportive,understanding and happy 24/7 and actually am capable of having a difference of opinion?! ...well, no...I don't care what those people think because their opinions are based in nowt but conditional superficiality.

Be nice all the time like us or it's ok for us to call you the board azzhole

I have no problem discussing this with you further if you want...so feel free to send me a pm.

Ah, the irony! LisaD, if you believe that an individual should have the right to an opinion, then why all the flack about my initial post to ask others to be nice? Is that not my opinion? And should it not, therefore, according to your posititon, be construed as my personal right? The difference, as I see it, is in the delivery. Which was the essence of my suggestion, in the first place. There's a vast distinction between holding firm to one's views and not feeling pressured to go along with others even at the risk of appearing unpopular, and being so blunt and candid that one's words can be perceived as hurtful. I mentioned your signature icons, (which is not an opinion, but rather a fact) because I found it rather contradictory, that you should take issue with a very benign recommendation I had made in my first post in this thread, for another member to consider the ramifications of the situation at hand and yet you excuse your own very blunt posture with icons of that sort. One could, if one were so inclined, consider it a standing and built in excuse for what you might at some time say. I believe that if the statements in your signature ring true with you, that you of all people, would likely not take issue with another for choosing not to mince words. Of course, if you do, then couldn't you accept the fact that it could be viewed as paradoxical as the maxim, "Do as I say, but not as I do"?

Naturally, as I have commented several times, there is a way of saying what one wishes to say, without denigrating another. For the record, I view that as both a talent and a virtue, and something that many, especially in the virtual environment, would be well-advised to develop. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that it's become a personal passion of mine to promote, due to some very painful experiences in my past.

[Reynaldo 0]

Good Lord.

Good Lord indeed...

[Fandango 1,439]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

Be nice! What I think you mean is that you saw the logic in what I said yet needed to save face so went for the personal barb.

See? Paraphrasing sucks, lol...

The one thing DM does not need to do, is save face here on VJ. Her reputation stands for itself.

Keep going Lisa, you are managing to do your reputation wonders and alienating many along the way. Not that you obviously care.

Paraphrasing sucks, lol..

So does mocking

Ok, Aussiewench, let's replace 'save face' with 'deflect from the conversation at hand and start making it personal'. This was not a personal discussion by any means, and tbh I feel it was unjustified to condescend as far as my character and 'had I seen your siggy, I wouldn't have bothered' My siggy is done very tongue and cheek, but to bring it up as means to condescend was a bit unnecessary and out of line.

Oh, but that's ok with you, right? Cos I'm the biotch who's asking for by disagreeing, eh? Ok, I'll take it. Of course my reply was sarcastic, but if you're here to berate someone for turning this personal, you've addressed the wrong poster.

As far as 'my reputation'...well if it's expected for one to be part of the rainbow brigade and not say how one really see things...you're right, I don't care. I'm not concerned with pacifying the happy police by not being straightforward....ironically, my original point in this thread. There's a middle ground to pleasant and fake...those who know me know who I am...and those who judge me because I'm not all fake supportive,understanding and happy 24/7 and actually am capable of having a difference of opinion?! ...well, no...I don't care what those people think because their opinions are based in nowt but conditional superficiality.

Be nice all the time like us or it's ok for us to call you the board azzhole

I have no problem discussing this with you further if you want...so feel free to send me a pm.

Ah, the irony! LisaD, if you believe that an individual should have the right to an opinion, then why all the flack about my initial post to ask others to be nice? Is that not my opinion? And should it not, therefore, according to your posititon, be construed as my personal right? The difference, as I see it, is in the delivery. Which was the essence of my suggestion, in the first place. There's a vast distinction between holding firm to one's views and not feeling pressured to go along with others even at the risk of appearing unpopular, and being so blunt and candid that one's words can be perceived as hurtful. I mentioned your signature icons, (which is not an opinion, but rather a fact) because I found it rather contradictory, that you should take issue with a very benign recommendation I had made in my first post in this thread, for another member to consider the ramifications of the situation at hand and yet you excuse your own very blunt posture with icons of that sort. One could, if one were so inclined, consider it a standing and built in excuse for what you might at some time say. I believe that if the statements in your signature ring true with you, that you of all people, would likely not take issue with another for choosing not to mince words. Of course, if you do, then couldn't you accept the fact that it could be viewed as paradoxical as the maxim, "Do as I say, but not as I do"?

Naturally, as I have commented several times, there is a way of saying what one wishes to say, without denigrating another. For the record, I view that as both a talent and a virtue, and something that many, especially in the virtual environment, would be well-advised to develop. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that it's become a personal passion of mine to promote, due to some very painful experiences in my past.

If you had corrected my post like that, I would have been annoyed because I'm quite capable of saying what I mean to say. It wouldn't need further explaination or someone telling me to 'be nice!' Rubyshoes had a valid point and it coulda stood on its own. Again, I will say that I acknowledge that it's ironic that I'm having issue with ppl telling ppl how to post, considering what I'm saying....but there's no other way to get my point across than to voice it.

It's the typical 'let's hand out cotton wool' approach that irks me sometimes. I don't even know Rubyshoes, but I felt his/her comment was straightforward enough that it didn't need correcting. I honestly don't see why people need to be told to 'be nice!' (which implies they're not imo) and have their opinions explained away like 'what I think so and so meant was this' as if it wasn't clear enough what was said...or as if there was any apparant issue as to it being a misconstrued insult. It struck me as very typical of a lot of ppl here on VJ...the Big Bro 'say it nicer cos you don't know what that person is going thru' People can respectfully disagree...and everyone's different...some people may be blunt, some people may be oversensitive...then there's the whole spectrum inbetween.

Yet if you disagree and speak your mind, you get told that you obviously don't care about your 'reputation'

Look, I've said what I have to say...you've said what you have to say.....I'm only repeating myself here and I cannot imagine paraphrasing myself any better, so that's me done. I'mma go beat a diff dead horse

Edited December 5, 2006 by LisaD

[diadromous mermaid 36]

If you had corrected my post like that, I would have been annoyed because I'm quite capable of saying what I mean to say. It wouldn't need further explaination or someone telling me to 'be nice!'

Ah, indeed...and the irony continues....nor would I need to be corrected by YOU, who is, by the way, a third party to the particular conversation!

Rubyshoes had a valid point and it coulda stood on its own.

Rubyshoes point did stand on its own! And I think it's best left for Rubyshoes to make his or her reaction to my suggestion known, rather than you making it for him or her, no? Or, in this situation, is it your opinion that it is more appropriate that you determine for Rubyshoes what is right ?

Again, I will say that I acknowledge that it's ironic that I'm having issue with ppl telling ppl how to post, considering what I'm saying....but there's no other way to get my point across than to voice it.

Is this when the proverbial "rules fly out of the window" then?

It's the typical 'let's hand out cotton wool' approach that irks me sometimes. I don't even know Rubyshoes, but I felt his/her comment was straightforward enough that it didn't need correcting.

Straightforward is the issue. Could you not concede that given the circumstances that it was not perhaps a little too straightforward? And if you don't agree, when or if you are in an emotional turmoil, and you can't accept this right now, I am aware, but until you are you won't know just how important it is for people to be compassionate, tolerant, sensitive and gentle. Let's hope you never find out! I can tell you, from personal experience, that it is VERY important. I've not shared one iota of my life on VJ since the day I joined. Were I to share my story, I can assure you, EVERYONE would be shocked!

I honestly don't see why people need to be told to 'be nice!' (which implies they're not imo) and have their opinions explained away like 'what I think so and so meant was this' as if it wasn't clear enough what was said...or as if there was any apparant issue as to it being a misconstrued insult. It struck me as very typical of a lot of ppl here on VJ...the Big Bro 'say it nicer cos you don't know what that person is going thru' People can respectfully disagree...and everyone's different...some people may be blunt, some people may be oversensitive...then there's the whole spectrum inbetween.

Well it's not a "cotton wool" approach, LisaD. It's tact, respect and compassion. Are you suggesting that such emotions and elements are absent in those that wish to speak their mind?

I'mma go beat a diff dead horse

An interesting and very telling choice of words, Lisa. Once again, perhaps another difference of opinion, but I believe selection of words in an online newsgroup particularly critical and necessary to replace the absence of intonation, gestures, and other behavioural elements that are not possible in written form. And so, I'll make the selection of my final word very carefully.

"Checkmate!"

Edited December 5, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[PurrSuede 0]

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

Statements like THAT ("you are responsible") are why I try to remind everyone that the I-485 is not some death sentence and there are ways around it, and not something that needs to be feared horrendously.

Statements such as those made by Rubyshoes, which are deliberately designed to be provocative are why I try to explain to people that this is not a sword hanging over their head, it is RARELY if ever used, and people should not be ascribing all the doom and gloom to this that they are.

Also, for such an idiotic statement, if they haven't gotten married yet, they haven't filed for AOS, and the form for "support" you send to the Embassy is NOT the same as the I-485 you file after marriage.

Stuff like this is just counter-productive and inflammatory, imho...

Click your heels together three times and go back to Kansas, Ruby...

Edited December 5, 2006 by PurrSuede

[cbd2cai 0]

Good Lord.

Good Lord indeed...

I third that!!