Coping with Seperation

[SoL. 0]

WelshPete,

I know the waiting is awful but, like a top 40 song says " "Time Flies while you're having fun". I would recommend, try to keep yourself busy and catch up with some old friends, it makes you distracted and time goes by faster. Enjoy your time in your country as you will eventually move here.

Phonecalls, IM, email it's always good.

My fiancé and I have been together since 2003. We used to see each other every summer (me visiting him to NL) and Christmas (he visiting the US) This Christmas he won't visit because we are waiting for the K-1 process to be finished. So since we don't have a date for our next reunion, I got myself a seasonal job (in addition to my full time job) and I am veeeeery busy.

He usually gets grumpy on Sundays because of being apart and I cheer him up with the fact that we have have waited for so long, and now it's just waiting for him to move here so it's worth the wait! I told him to enjoy the time with his family, friends and things he is used to do there.

Hang in there, it's a temporary thing and it's worth the wait because at the end, you'll be together permanently!

Good luck with your journey!

edi

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

I call Veronica twice a day...when she awakes.. and when she is getting ready for bed.. We email daily 2-5 emails and we yahoo cam every Sun...in fact 30 min. from now.. And trust me this is still not enough..but it helps...

The weeknights and weekends are the worst....

I'm not sure what the secret is to coping... I do it several ways... cry ....and I got all my calendars marked for each day...1-2-3-4-5 and I use short term goals... like I've seen CSC approvals from 45 days and up..but avg. around 60-70 days... So I think..Wow I'm getting close..better start watching more...I keep telling her... Anyday Love... and One day I'll call you with the good news... Also what helped me alittle is last week I had put the wrong NOA1 date... so I gained 6 days..that I've waited and then I realized that they count from the day you sent in your petition not the NOA1 date...for the timeline..So I gained another.. 5 days that I waited...and puts me closer to the 60-70 avg wait mark... Well the moral..is I keep doing numbers....even from Garys' timeline...

28 approvals for sept so far.... avg. wait 61 days

Last week 22 approvals avg. wait 58.5 days...

6 people outta the way so I can get mine...

and then I look to see what week they are starting to touch more... last week was 9/15 they started on...this week if I'm lucky it will be 9/19...So in my head...I figure my approval will be in the next two weeks... also... This week we will hit Dec 1 So I think to myself... Wow very good chance She will have her interview late Jan. so One more month...(yea I know really two...First of Dec to late Jan is two.. So again the moral of this long winded story is this...I keep myself motivated with all these mind games.. .. and you know when I don't meet a goal...I think...Well at least I'm closer today then I was when I figured this out..

Just don't forget what is feels like to have her close...and know it will be sooner..then later...because you started...

My fiancee and I spent three months together in the US from August to Early November. Now I am back in England and my fiancee is in the US we seem not to be coping very well at all in the separation. She is finding it hard to live in her apartment where I lived for three months. Obviously my presence is still there and she is finding it very hard to cope. I feel like I have been transported Star Trek style into my old life but everything is different. We MSN most days and keep in touch constantly with email. We sent our application off and received a receipt on Oct 10th. Looking at the timelines it looks like we will receive our NOA2 mid-December. She is planning to come over to England in January but that is so far away. I have tried to be supportive by saying Xmas will break things up, we will be busy it will fly by. But I feel exactly the same as her. I am so depressed and missing her like crazy.

I was just wondering how you guys cope with the inevitable separations in your relationships.

[Peikko 1,575]

I have to agree with those that say try to enjoy each and every day for what it is, and not worry about what it is not. Yes, being apart is hard, and there are always going to be those 'if only' moments or you wouldn't be doing this.

However, has as also been said, spend time with friends and family, visit those places you always wanted to but never had time because soon you may find that there never will be a time to do that

The other piece of advice I would add is try to incorporate some physical excercise into your day. It helps

[VetsWife328 7]

We have problems dealing with the seperation too.....We just spent a month together from mid Sep to mid Oct and now we're back at having our "Seperation Problems".

We obviously miss each other badly but unfortunatley we have different ways of dealing with the pain and frustration.While I need to talk to him and it helps me to hear his voice a lot,he needs to hide in his shell and it's easier for him not to talk to me all the time......

Don't get me wrong,we're like glued together when we actually get to be together but always have problems when we're seperated.

It's like each one of us is fighting a seperate battle in dealing with the Seperation.........

In in our case we still have months to wait until we can only put the I 129 F in since he's not divorced yet and his "wife" gives us a very hard time and draggs it all on.Which is especially on me,VERY nerve wrecking at the moment.

Due to his job (he's a Truck Driver) we can't even see each other,flying over there is pretty much a waste of money now since he's always on the road.....

Still I will fly there as soon as the divorce is through and help him with the papers for the I 129.Wont get to see him for mre than 48 hours,but hey better than none at all........

Nat

[Fandango 1,440]

I have to agree with those that say try to enjoy each and every day for what it is, and not worry about what it is not. Yes, being apart is hard, and there are always going to be those 'if only' moments or you wouldn't be doing this.

However, has as also been said, spend time with friends and family, visit those places you always wanted to but never had time because soon you may find that there never will be a time to do that

The other piece of advice I would add is try to incorporate some physical excercise into your day. It helps

Holy #######, PH, we just agreed on summat

an all that jazz...

[Peggy 1]

I would advise the couples that are still seperated, to enjoy this time with your family.

You miss your SO now, but wait till you are together.

Then you will be missing those from home that you left behind.

Its sucks to be away from your family

[mRx 16]

Hmm.

I have not seen my fiance for...geez... 8 months now and I believe we will not be able to see each other for at least another 4-5 months. For some reason, the American Govt do not let the US military personnels to come to my country....

thats because your country has a high terrorist threat level. He may still be able to go there, if he goes with someone else and gets a Brig General to sign off on it.

[whenwillithappen 0]

welshpete

we have been seperated since jan this year and although i find it hard my fiance is theone who is really suffering , we have 2 young kids aged 2-1 so it is hard for him to not be there when his kids are here . we talk twice a day onthe phone and i send him pics all the time of the kids, the way i deal with things is by thinking that i have waited this long so its just got to be over soon then we can be happy together as a family

[Sinergy 3]

I understand the seperation. me and my hubby were apart 17 months before he finally got here, and his son was 1 yrs old before he met him in person. seperation is hard but you can and will get thru it. it will take some tolls on your relationship. you will prolly argue over stupid things or get angery over stuff, just remember its bc of the seperation and the stress of wanting to be together.

your going thru CSC?? good luck! i dunno how the timeline looks now, if you can get an approval in just 3 months, thats a miracle, most of us who have gone thru CSC waited 6-8 months. i hope they did get faster.

[Stalar 0]

WelshPete

Know what your going through my fiance and I are currently going down the K1 route as well.

I spent near enough a year with him on and off. Thank heavens for that VWP.

I would go out there for 3 months at a time with only a matter of weeks in between and now I haven't seen him for 3 months and I feel like my whole left side has been removed from my body.

I talk to him everyday on Skype with a webcam and in all honesty although I love to see him on it it just makes it worse when I have to hang up the phone at the end of the call.

I message him on myspace at work which I really shouldn't do but i'm only a temp so they don't care as long as I do my work lol.

I send him an email at work to wake him up in the morning so that he can get doing stuff for the wedding (hehehe aren't I cruel)

So yes it is hard but aren't you so glad for the wonderful inventions that are computers and the internet I know I am.

One good thing about all the emailing and skyping is that I have plenty of evidence to take with me to my interview to prove that we have a relationship.

Don't worry it will get better.