What to expect now? next stage hopefully in April

[Baile 0]

Hello all,

So I received my NOA1 a while back, I just checked the USCIS website and it predicts that we will enter the next phase around April time. So I just want to know what I should expect? we applied for a K-1 Visa, my fiance lives in Saint Petersburg, and I have been informed she will have to go to the Embassy in Moscow. What should I do now? I want to be absolutely prepared, so I do not get caught off guard. What forms to fill out for the next stage where to find them? If my fiance gets her interview what should we expect? I was in Saint Petersburg this Christmas and new-year visiting her and her family, and I left her an exact duplicate of the I-129F packet that I had sent to the USCIS, and I have a third copy here in the U.S Just in case, that I can either over night to her or somewhere else if the USCIS needs it.

I had to come on and ask because I keep getting panicky about everything. Any help and advice would be so helpful

[baron555 934]

Hello all,

So I received my NOA1 a while back, I just checked the USCIS website and it predicts that we will enter the next phase around April time. So I just want to know what I should expect? we applied for a K-1 Visa, my fiance lives in Saint Petersburg, and I have been informed she will have to go to the Embassy in Moscow. What should I do now? I want to be absolutely prepared, so I do not get caught off guard. What forms to fill out for the next stage where to find them? If my fiance gets her interview what should we expect? I was in Saint Petersburg this Christmas and new-year visiting her and her family, and I left her an exact duplicate of the I-129F packet that I had sent to the USCIS, and I have a third copy here in the U.S Just in case, that I can either over night to her or somewhere else if the USCIS needs it.

I had to come on and ask because I keep getting panicky about everything. Any help and advice would be so helpful

Read the Guides. Read the instructions on the Embassy website.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

1. Do not expect anything to happen in April. There are no "predictions" from USCIS, you are looking at the VJ estimator, it is not official, neither is anything from USCIS. The vast majority of disappointment in this process is from unrealistic expectations.

2. Stop checking timelines and USCIS updates. My wife is a citizen now and ours still says "initial review". In surveys the USCIS system was found to be 68% accurate. I am an engineer, if I had data that was 68% accurate, I would throw it away and throw darts at a chart to decide what to do. What does a 68 get you on a math exam?

3. Read the guides here on the next step and read the threads in the "Consulate" sub-forum that cover issues for the next step.

4. Realize that the visa is the beginning, not the end. Your journey BEGINS when the visa is in her hand. It takes about 4 years to finish (citizenship) and in between is LIFE. She is coming here for LIFE, not a dinner date, not the Prom. When you consider this you see that 3 weeks or 3 months waiting is really nothing.

5. Prepare for her LIFE here. You should be discussing that now. The procedure of the visa is nothing really. It is a few hours of your time to prepare papers and about 3 minutes for the "interview". Treat it accordingly. On the other hand, she will be moving her entire LIFE here and that takes much more preparation. All her stuff needs to get here, she is going to need to speak English really well and even if she does, she will still find many difficulties. If she does not speak English really well (12th grade US level or above) then get her started in English lessons at her level in Russia, then start checking for English classes here. IF she really already speaks English well, then get her signed up for a TOEFL and GRE exams in Russia. Google TOEFL and GRE. She is going to need a level of English equal to that needed to enter college IN THE USA in order to be able to function in LIFE in the USA. Unless you want her to wipe tables and/or clean @sses. If you are wealthy and she never needs to work, she still needs this level of English not to feel STUPID in our culture. FSU women will not tolerate feeling stupid. What about education? Get her education transcripts, get them translated and get them evaluated here (google ECE) she will need them. Get all her important documents in order and get them translated. I know, you do not need that for the visa, right? Who cares about the visa? You need it for LIFE!

6. Sorry if I am not telling you all the stuff to do for the VISA, but the visa is just not important at all and you can read all about that here at VJ

7. You are about to begin a life with one of the most incredible women in the world, an FSU woman. Aside from the fun and games here in the RUB sub-forum you can read about what that is like. Read about what they expect. They are not submissive sexual robots from the movie "Stepford Wives". True enough, you will frequently need to be peeled off the bed, sofa or kitchen floor but to think that it is without obligation on your part would be a mistake.

8. The BEST thing you can do is prepare for her LIFE here. That will earn you a +300,000,000. Constantly talking about the visa and "updating her" with, well, nothing...will make her think you are pretty lame. Giving her information about schools, life here, how to ship her stuff, etc. will make her feel like she chose the right MAN to give herself to. A common Russian saying "If I need to be strong, I do not need a man. I need a man so I can be weak", another is "If I needed a reason to worry, I would be a MAN" She is worried and telling her every day "no updates on the visa, it still says the same thing" is not going to help.

Cruise through the Russia/Ukraine/Belarus forum and read the threads. Lots of good info there.

[liddy 10]

:thumbs:

[baron555 934]

. Prepare for her LIFE here. You should be discussing that now. The procedure of the visa is nothing really.

This advice from Gary is spot on. Since she has been here, you two are already way ahead of the game. But you are both young and you need to be the Man and show her that you can plan for her life here and can cover all the bases....that is what she wants and needs and expects.

You were given a chance to prove her wrong and you obviously did (from your profile blurb), so now do it.

Yes she will ensure that it will be very much worth it. Don't worry about that. Be honest, be open, discuss everything....what about children?

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

[it's Victor from Russia] Gary and Alla gave very good advices, but I still will add something from my personal point of view. It's not for a dispute and not to devalue any advices from Gary and Alla, just for telling how I see it. Yes, it's very important to prepare your fiancee for real life. To explain her basic things she will see here, because they may be very different from Russia. Explain her how to get a driver license here, how to apply for a job, how to communicate with neighboors, how to act in the stores, etc. - everything can be important and everything can be different.

But I'm really not sure if TOEFL, GRE, evaluation of diploma in ECE and things like these would be important or it's just waste of money and time for now. From my experience and talking to some other RUB immigrants in the internet I've never heard that any of them I know would need TOEFL certificate here for just life and finding job. Speaking about education, I've seen VERY little of immigrants who starting life here from applying to college. Most of the people waiting at least some time before doing it and often getting some work experience before and trying to understand what kind of education they really need to get, because it's not like in Russia where you can get free college education. And I don't know why she would need evaluated diploma now - it's almost zero chances that with her first job here she can get anything what would require more than HS. Opposite way, I've heard many stories how people had to hide their education to get first/second job here to not be overqualified. Later, when she will have some experience, job references and other things, she will have better chances to get a job where evaluated diploma will be necessary and evaluation in ECE is easy and fast. You can do it if you want, but don't build "sandy castles" for your fiancee, because after you'll ask her to get certificates, will do evaluation and other things, she might expect that she will be able to get a nice office job here just handed to her. It's very little chances, almost every immigrant I was talking with, experienced serious downgrade in his/her career for the first years (unless his career in Russia was nothing more than standing at the register). So prepare her that employers here are not so excited to hire newcomer immigrant with zero history in the US when a lot of local folks looking for a job, and she probably will need to put serious efforts to find anything better than selling burgers in drive-thru, especially if you live not in a very big city. It wasn't easy for me after getting EAD to find position of part-time merchandiser (with nothing more eduacation than HS required), and this position is still substancial downgrade from my last job in Russia. Just my opinion.

And one more my personal opinion - don't give her all the fish, but teach her fishing. Your help is extremly important, because it's your country and you know life here, she doesn't. But, as we say in Russia, "don't serve her everything on a saucer with a blue border", treating her like a child, let her do things every adult in US does, with you being ready to help any time and explaining what she doesn't understand. I've read stories like looking for a first job for wife, US husband taking her places, walking in together and talking with staff telling that this woman is his wife and needs a job, taking application and filling it for her, etc., when his wife just standing behind him and waiting when he will tell her what to do and what to tell. I believe that it's a bad thing to do. It's great if you'll explain with examples step-by-step how it's better to apply for a job here, will look for ads together, will give some advises, but don't do such things like treating your (future) wife as a grown up child who needs to be pulled by hand to do basic things every adult should be capable to do. Some couples think it's a great idea though to just point to your wife where to sign and to tell her when to nod, because everything else will be done by USC spouse and she doesn't have to worry about anything, but I don't get it. To assimilate she needs to learn how to do everything every US born adult does.

Just my 2 cents in the thrift-box of advices.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

It's Amy. Again, I must agree with my hubby on several points. Teach someone to fish, and you feed them for a lifetime. Don't treat your fiancee like a child-bride. She's an adult. Give her guidance, but don't do it all for her. Most self-respecting women, even from the FSU where women's lib is just a bit behind the U.S., want to still be autonomous and independent adults. I don't like the assumption that all women would want to sit at home and be a housewife if their husband made a lot of money. I would personally get BORED AS ALL HELL being a housewife. Even if Vitya were pulling in six figures, I'd still work. I would still crave the feeling of autonomy and getting out of the house to interact with other adults, and I'd still want to contribute financially what I could to our household budget, even if it was less than my husband. I have a higher purpose than just being a housewife. My own mother who was raised during the 50's and 60's when it was still the societal norm for women to stay home, didn't want to be and stay-at-home wife. She took a couple of years off work after she had my sister, doing an in-home daycare sort of business where she watched four kids during the day. After a couple of years of that, she craved like nothing else to get back into the workforce. She told me that it was mind-numbingly boring and she wanted to get out there and work. I don't blame her.

I would venture to guess that many modern, educated FSU women would want to put their education to use instead of just having a pretty diploma to hang on the wall and beam at once in awhile as they do housework. That being said, the reality is that as a foreign person, it's slim pickings for jobs in your professional field in a lot of places. When Vitya would apply for and send his resume to places where he could work in his field of expertise, he didn't even get a response. It's because there are plenty of people with job history in the US who want those jobs. It's harder for an employer in those types of jobs to do a background check and employment history check on someone from a foreign country, so a lot of them just won't bother. It's just life. He decided not to go to college here, because he has the Russian equivalent of two Master's degrees, and doesn't feel like entering back into the world of academia. I really can't say I blame him. It's a world rife with politics and nasty competition, and it's EXPENSIVE in the long run. I'm not poo-pooing anyone else who wants to go back to school, but I respect my husband's choice to opt out.

Vitya accepted a retail job because it's what he could get. It's much more pleasant than something like fast food, even if it doesn't pay a lot, and it's at least something he can enjoy doing and it brings home an income. So even with all the diplomas in the world, it's safe to bet that the work your fiancee gets could be "lesser" than what she was accustomed to at home. I say any job is better than none, however. If I had to take a restaurant or retail job to earn an income, I'd much rather do that than nothing. I think most productive people want to remain employed, even if it's not in their ideal, dream job. Just my 2 cents.

Also, on the notion that FSU women won't tolerate feeling stupid...does that mean that American women are just fine and dandy with it? That's not just an FSU woman thing. Intelligent women from every country don't like feeling stupid, if I had to guess. After several millenia of being thought to be intellectually inferior to men biologically, I think the majority of us take exception to feeling stupid.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Amy_and_Victor

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

Edited to add since it's too late to edit my other reply:

Gary, you are absolutely spot-on about the visa being the beginning and not the end. It's only the first step in a long journey. OP, do research about the steps to take after she gets here, and send her what you find so she knows what you guys will be working on once she gets here. Get her into the SSN office toot sweet once she's here so she can get her SSN ASAP. After the wedding, immediately file all documents for adjustment of status. Make sure to buy extra copies of your marriage certificate because USCIS wants the real copy. Since I'm the USC and I changed my name, there weren't any complications in documents with name changes. I elected not to put an "a" on the end of my name as per the Russian tradition, because here in America it'll look like we have two different last names and make everything annoying with documents. She'll likely want to take your last name, and I honestly don't know how that will affect her Russian passport or any of that stuff, since my FSU spouse is a man and didn't change his name obviously. Someone else might be able to chime in on the name change stuff here.

When she's here, get both of your names put on as many things as possible. Later on down the road with removal of conditions, USCIS wants to see that you're living as a legit, married couple. If they see only separate bank accounts, insurance, only one person's name on the car title, no utilities, lease, or mortgage with both names on it, they will get suspicious. Have a joint bank account, have both of your names on any utilities that allow two names to be printed on the bill, have both of your names on the lease or mortgage, put her on your car title and add her to the insurance. If she's not driving initially, her name can still be added to the title at least. The more things you have with both names on it, the better. Also, save any mail you get from friends and relatives that have both your names on them. Save the letter/card and the envelope. We saved all of our Christmas cards and invites to holiday gatherings this year, and will save them in subsequent years leading up to removal of conditions. The more things that show you're living as a united couple, the better. Never file your taxes separately, either. Always file together. That sounds like it should be common sense, but USCIS gets super suspicious if a married couple doesn't file together.

Another thing you might want to think about is the transfer of her savings if she has any. There are a variety of ways to transfer money here and a lot of pros and cons of every option. She should look seriously into all options.

As far as just getting ready for her arrival, clean your house or apartment really well before she gets here. I just think it's a nice thing to do. I did it before Vitya came. I figured there's everyday cleaning one does, and then there's that deep-down cleaning that only gets done every couple of months. I did that type of cleaning to keep myself busy the week before he got here since I was going crazy. Do some shopping of essential items so you have less to worry about upon arrival. I also arranged it so I could take a few days off work after he got here so we could have some quality time together before I had to jump back into the grind. I would do the same if it's possible, or try to time her arrival right before the weekend so you can have 2 days of just couple time before heading back to work. Find out a realistic timetable of when she'll need to apply for employment authorization and AOS after the wedding.

Educate her about what it takes to find a job here. It's not super different from Russia. It helped my husband to go online and find sample job interview questions. About.com had a bunch of lists of sample questions which are commonly asked during job interviews. She may feel more confident looking at those and formulating in her mind how she would answer a bunch of different questions. You could even have a mock-interview together in sort of a role-play where you ask her some questions and she answers them. It could prepare her for the real thing.

The next couple of paragraphs are tongue in cheek cultural items about the US that you might want to tell her about if you haven't already. Send her to People of Walmart dot com, and tell her that while these specimens are rather extreme examples, she WILL see some people like this at Wal-fart. I admit that I'm kind of a joking around, but I'm kinda not. I think having my hubby look at that site took the culture shock down a notch because he was prepared for the worst. It's not normal for people in Russia to go out in public wearing sweatpants or pajamas (optional thong hanging out for the LADIES, and prison tats for the DUDES) and flip flops. I saw a fair amount of college-aged people in jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts walking about in my husband's city, but they were never dirty sloppy looking, and NOBODY wore pajamas in public EVER. Prepare her for the fact that some people here are uber-casual, sometimes to the point of being slovenly.

Also, kids of younger parents in America can often times be ill-behaved as hell in public. I only encountered ONE screaming brat-child in a supermarket in Russia. ONE. Every other instance of children in public otherwise were their parents meting out discipline to keep them well-behaved in a public place, as they SHOULD. There are far more feral, ill-behaved brats in public here in the US of A. We have a more child-centric world here, and in Russia there still seems to be more of a mentality that kids shouldn't run the show and that adults are in charge. It's even OK to call someone out on their kid being a brat. Here, people get their panties in a twist if you say their widdle pweshus is a disruption, even when it's the truth.

I'm trying to think of anything else I might have missed. I guess try to keep busy and not think about it too much, or you'll go crazy waiting. Once you get approval and her interview is scheduled, time will FLY and she'll be here before you know it, and it's only the beginning of your journey. Good luck with everything!

- Amy

Edited January 28, 2013 by Amy_and_Victor

[BatmanUSA 105]

I was also, "panicky" when we started the K1.. Hell, I am still panicky... Currently trying to schedule the interview in Moscow for late march..

The past few months, I have done much.. I need to get a bedroom ready for Elena's daughter. So we picked a color to paint, (on Skype), I painted the room, now waiting for new carpet installation, and we have been looking at furniture online, so I will have this all done soon.

Elena, has been gathering documents and is just about finished..

Best I can tell yo is to try to relax, it a long ride...

[TBoneTX 45,537]

Several posts in this thread merit enshrinement in the pantheon of all-time VJ posts, si man.

This is also an opportunity to compliment Amy_and_Victor on how you handle your shared VJ account -- there's never any doubt about who is posting. In fact, there's a thread in Site Discussion (title something like "Petitioner or Beneficiary?") where you're complimented on it. Thank you, si man & si ma'am.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

Several posts in this thread merit enshrinement in the pantheon of all-time VJ posts, si man.

This is also an opportunity to compliment Amy_and_Victor on how you handle your shared VJ account -- there's never any doubt about who is posting. In fact, there's a thread in Site Discussion (title something like "Petitioner or Beneficiary?") where you're complimented on it. Thank you, si man & si ma'am.

Gracias, Mr. TB! That's a high compliment!

~ Amy