How did you filipina wife change after you married her and took her to your home country?

[Hank_ 9,174]

WeLL the answer then is simple... there is no answer. Everyone is different and it has NOTHING to do with ones wife being a Filipina .

Just ask you question as fixx'd -

How did your filipina wife change after you married her and took her to your home country?

How did the relationship change in a good or bad way? Did she act the same as when you meet her or did she change and the relationship became unpleasant.

How long did your marriage last?

[kev_n_jena 89]

WeLL the answer then is simple... there is no answer. Everyone is different and it has NOTHING to do with ones wife being a Filipina .

Just ask you question as fixx'd -

Well, assuming the OP sincerely wanted to know the answer to his original post, I can relate. When I first met Jena in a chat room in 2005 I didn't know anything about her or her home country. I searched any source I could find and started asking questions. I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt here. I have nothing to lose by believing him other than a few minutes to answer his question.

Edited December 16, 2012 by kev_n_jena

[amerikano_abroad 3]

WeLL the answer then is simple... there is no answer. Everyone is different and it has NOTHING to do with ones wife being a Filipina .

Just ask you question as fixx'd -

Not really, I would respectfully disagree.

[amerikano_abroad 3]

Well, assuming the OP sincerely wanted to know the answer to his original post, I can relate. When I first met Jena in a chat room in 2005 I didn't know anything about her or her home country. I searched any source I could find and started asking questions. I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt here. I have nothing to lose by believing him other than a few minutes to answer his question.

Thanks for understanding.

[X Factor 1,113]

Well, assuming the OP sincerely wanted to know the answer to his original post, I can relate. When I first met Jena in a chat room in 2005 I didn't know anything about her or her home country. I searched any source I could find and started asking questions. I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt here. I have nothing to lose by believing him other than a few minutes to answer his question.

Make sure you learn everything about the Philippine culture before you embark on a serious relationship with someone from another culture. I purchased several books about the Philippines and the culture to educate myself. It gave me insight and I was glad I did it. When I started dating my now wife, I had a better understanding of her and her background. I also had some friends from the Philippines and they were able to bring me up to speed on the culture.

[kev_n_jena 89]

Make sure you learn everything about the Philippine culture before you embark on a serious relationship with someone from another culture. I purchased several books about the Philippines and the culture to educate myself. It gave me insight and I was glad I did it. When I started dating my now wife, I had a better understanding of her and her background. I also had some friends from the Philippines and they were able to bring me up to speed on the culture.

I contacted a Filipino/American couple near me and got to know them. They actually met Jena in person on the next trip they took to Mindanao after my first trip over. I also went to the local Filipino store and introduced myself to the owner. My parents have a Filipino neighbor and I got to know her too. Upon Jena's arrival we hit a Fil/Am picnic a month after she got here. I'd say we know at least 100 Filipinos in our area now. They come to our house to buy and butcher goats and chickens. I like drinking with the guys and talked them into Texas Holdem last time. (I won ) I hired one of the guys to work part time in the shop I work at. Best worker I've ever had.

Too bad DGs not around, he could tell you all about the culture

[Bumbero 131]

Also, one thing that means a LOT to my fiancee is my sincere effort to learn Tagalog. It may sound like a "duh" thing but I learned how to propose to her language and she said it was spoken perfectly! She used to laugh at and tell me it sounded like my mouth is broken when I attempted to tell her what I learned but now she says I have greatly improved in my skills!

I agree with all the other posts, it's about learning her culture and how she was raised. Her family structure and beliefs. It's amazing how the little things you do and say go a long way when it comes to showing how much you care.

[rlogan 2,036]

One of the reasons people are saying to know their culture is that people think they change when they get here when what's really happened is the guy never understood her in the first place.

Most here seem to have met online and the drawback to that is not seeing them in their home environment with family, friends, neighbors, boyfriend (oops!), etc. You can try your best to learn, but there's no substitute for being there and if she is a scammer it will be impossible to hide. We have no information on how you met, what kind of experience you have with her, or what your spefific concerns are.

I had been all over the Philippines, long trips over many years before meeting mine and knew more about the history of Mindanao than she did. It wasn't a matter of meeting her and needing to learn about her culture afterwards. I learned about her culture and decided that it was the ideal place to choose a wife from. So the first day we met, I told her that I understood what was important to her and what she wanted out of life. Talk about kryptonite.

The other important thing is working hard to ensure they understand what the environment is going to be like for them here. Who knows what their expectations are but some are working with the premise that money grows on trees and their family is set for life if they marry a foreigner. We've had posters who acted like the big time sugar daddy in the beginning, establishing unrealistic expectations and if you do that then ultimately you have to deal with trouble when reality sets in.

[B_J 2,752]

The other important thing is working hard to ensure they understand what the environment is going to be like for them here. Who knows what their expectations are but some are working with the premise that money grows on trees and their family is set for life if they marry a foreigner. We've had posters who acted like the big time sugar daddy in the beginning, establishing unrealistic expectations and if you do that then ultimately you have to deal with trouble when reality sets in.

Without a doubt, I believe knowing the person you are going to marry is far more important than knowing the culture.

And probably the most important issue to be open and honest about is finances. I know of a Filipina who married an American man. During his visits to see her, he would always take her on trips and he'd spend money on her. Now she's in the states and married to him. As a condition of marriage he wanted a prenup, which is understandable. Now he decided he doesn't want her to work and now she finds out that she's purposefully excluded from his will. His generosity has totally disappeared. So, sometimes it is the American who changes.

OP, make sure you know the person you are marrying and make sure that they know you. Be honest about who you are and what life is really like here in the states. If you take care of those things, then you should be okay.

[ca_babe 129]

And probably the most important issue to be open and honest about is finances. I know of a Filipina who married an American man. During his visits to see her, he would always take her on trips and he'd spend money on her. Now she's in the states and married to him. As a condition of marriage he wanted a prenup, which is understandable. Now he decided he doesn't want her to work and now she finds out that she's purposefully excluded from his will. His generosity has totally disappeared. So, sometimes it is the American who changes.

There's no substitute to learning about one's culture except by experiencing it. When we visit Philippines, we spend the same amount that we would spend on a family of 3 over here in a nice restaurant to feed a dozen people over there in a similar quality of restaurant. We would visit tourist attractions over there and we'd pay for the whole bill for a dozen people without spending more than we would usually pay for over here. It's hard for them to understand that we can't do the same thing over here because of the cost of living. My mom is coming over here and I'm planning to show her around so she can see that people over here who are a lot older than her are still working to make a living. That there are several people over here who doesn't have jobs and would hang out at Home Depot hoping that somebody would hire them for the day. I knew about my husband's finances prior getting married but discussing is different than living it.

[actob99 156]

As alway's alot of great advice. Even the DG comment, haha.. We have been married for almost 2 months, she has been here 3 1/2 months. We had already lived together in the Phils. After I moved back to the states, I had the ability to vist her about once a month until she received her visa, sO we knew each other pretty well.

I want to add that I would say it could be very difficult on a relationship with not spending alot of time with your fiancee in person and then throwing all of the changes she will experience in her new country. It's hard enough for each of these life changes and then to throw them both together. Doessn't matter what culture...

We still have our arguements and issues that every relationships have, I would be worried if everything was like a fairytale. Our relationship challenges are that we are both a bit Stubborn. But the best thing is we resolve all of our differences and problems quickly as we communicate ALOT and talk about everything. So we know exactly where each are coming from, nothing new in a relationship, just hard for some people and thats where the problems start. I would have to say she has pushed me into talking more about difficult things that in the past I didn't really like to talk about.

One thing culturally different I think being married to a filipina is they are not scared to tell you how it is or what they think-good or bad. If you wake up and look like ######, she will tell you that you are punget, lol. If your gaining weight, she will tell you that you are getting fat.. But then tell you she still loves you.

Abs has changed a bit since she has been here. SHe has gained about 5-10 pounds already and she is getting whiter, lol. We enjoy cooking new thingsd and going out to eat and show here the different foods. We have now cut that out and cooking and eating healthy. SHe can walk outside when its 30 degrees without a coat on. She watches american TV and loves Family Fued. We don't drink as much as we did when we were in the Phils. She is coming up with new goals and things she would like to do wih her life. She wheres tennis shoes and hiking boots instead of heels and flip flops. Her English is getting very good and understanding almost all of the conversations at American speed(didn't know any English 3 years ago).. She loves my two boys from my previous marriage and adores my black lab. I guess that's enouth personal info, was going to go into the really good details but didn't want to get a DG comment, lol. All is good, Life is good and I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my wife very much and I have grown into a better person being with her.

Lastly, it was never her intentions to come to the USA and we were happy living in the Phils or abroad somewhere. A turn off for me when dating in the Phils was when the girl told me her life dream was to live in the US. Or that she didn't like her home Country, NEXT!

[madtownguy 164]

Without a doubt, I believe knowing the person you are going to marry is far more important than knowing the culture.

And probably the most important issue to be open and honest about is finances. I know of a Filipina who married an American man. During his visits to see her, he would always take her on trips and he'd spend money on her. Now she's in the states and married to him. As a condition of marriage he wanted a prenup, which is understandable. Now he decided he doesn't want her to work and now she finds out that she's purposefully excluded from his will. His generosity has totally disappeared. So, sometimes it is the American who changes.

OP, make sure you know the person you are marrying and make sure that they know you. Be honest about who you are and what life is really like here in the states. If you take care of those things, then you should be okay.

That's kind of screwed up isn't it. I can understand a prenup, I think I will do one myself. My fiance knows I'm cheap I always try to get prices lowered, she is just like me we both think it's fun. I think it needs to be fair, like not letting her work and if you die she gets nothing??? That's weird. Everyone has their own outlook and you just have to do the best you can to work it out. I would imagine anyone moving to another country will change a lot, and marriage changes a lot of women in general... I've never heard it changes them for the better either, I think culturally they will get better from Phil to Amer. I'm surprised the sending money home lasts so long, I told my fiance I think eventually that will end and money will go to kids and schooling but I could be wrong.

[Darnell 8,480]

How did your filipina wife change after you married her and took her to your home country?

Aiyo -

she turned into a chinese-a-pina wife, got her commercial realtors license, and now owns 11 buildings in Cupertino, California.

/joking off ]

[Kevo 74]

Hopefully mine will change by becoming a better driver. Tried to teach her a few times when we lived together for a year. Scary!

[Caryh 5,206]

Mine was a good driver, she just didn't follow any rules over there. When you just pay money to get a license, how are you supposed to learn any rules? Now she's a good driver that follows the rules. She's learned why some people in the USA criticize Asian drivers to, even some of her friends

She's learned to like food she never liked in the Philippines, like hamburgers for one. I won't eat them in the Philippines either.

She's learned to rely on modern appliances, microwave, washing machine and drier, garage door opener, remote car starter, dishwasher, etc...

She's even learned to love the vacuum cleaner, even on floors without carpet since ours is equipped to do so. At first I had to get her one of those short witches brooms they love over there, but now she rarely ever uses it.

She got heavier for a while, then started working and got thinner, now she's putting on a little weight again through my insistence. She likes to look sexy for me, but I was worried she was making herself overly thin. I'd rather have a few extra pounds on her than too thin.

She's learned to love shoes and bags. Something she never had the opportunity to do in her own country. She used to say I have a pair of shoes, now she's learned that different weather here requires different shoes. Minnesota weather can be a bit radical. She also has a few different bags for use at different times. I think 4 now, but maybe 5. What can I say, I spoil her.

She's learned to layer clothes, which meant buying a lot more clothes. Her first winter was in the house, she didn't drive and she didn't work. Now she does both so she's learned to enjoy shopping. Shopping didn't use to be a joy as it was more a reminder of not having the money to get things. Now we have a decent budget to get her new things and she enjoys that.

She's learn to handle her booze. She rarely drank in her home country, having maybe a beer or two, and didn't know how to pace herself. She's pretty small so a little goes a long way for her. After one bad night having too many beers, 4 was the count, she says she'll never drink beer again, but she's learned how to space them out and drink water between them. Three or four is still her limit over a long evening, but she knows to eat and drink water so she doesn't gt too intoxicated. I'm always are driver on those nights, as she could probably only have one, maybe two, if she was driving.

She's still gets moody and jealous. Wish I could get those to change

She still goes to church almost every Sunday, or Saturday evening mass if we're going out dancing on Saturday.

She still eats mostly Filipino food, and I do to. I know some don't like Filipino food, but I liked it from my first taste for the most part. I don't think its that healthy though, even if we only use virgin olive oil for cooking.

She's still fanatical about having a clean house.

She still asks permission before doing things.

She still thinks certain things are for the husband to do and for the wife to do. Although I've changed her mind on a few things and she is happy I help out with things she thought she should do alone. But I'd rather join in and get it done so we can do fun things than sit watching her.

She still primps in the mirror getting ready, and she's faster than most American women I've known, but still a lot slower than the average man.

She's still mainly a blue jeans and tennis shoes girl. I have to really arm twist her to get her into fancier clothes.

She's growing here in the USA, there's no way to stop that. But basically she's the same woman, with the same values, the same morals, and the same quirks that I fell in love with.

Hopefully mine will change by becoming a better driver. Tried to teach her a few times when we lived together for a year. Scary!