Long distance marriage...how do you make it work?

[SavingCavemen 1]

Hey Everyone!

I'm new to the forum and I'd like to start this topic about long distance marriages. I am married to a PR and in the process of waiting for my priority date to become current. It can be a lonely road, but more than anything it gets incredibly frustrating and exhausting waiting with high hopes for the dates to move. We've been waiting so far for about 8 months and still have at least another couple of years to go. I know we're not the only people out there who are struggling with this, so this might way a of venting out and probably talking out some of the frustration and hardship of being in a long distance marriage.

So to everyone out there in the same situation, how are you guys managing?

Cheers!

C.

[marcris86 0]

Hello! Am in the same boat as you. My husband left to Honduras in September 2012 and it's been really hard to be w/o him. You know how you hear about this situation, but it never acrosses your mind that one day it will be you? Now I understand that I had to get a second job to cover my bills at house. I'll be visiting my husband in two (2)weeks so am getting pretty ancious to see him y eso que solo tengo 3 months w/o seeing him. Hoping for the best. Best of Luck to you...CZ

[Basil F 0]

I've been away from my wife on my now 7 year old son since 2009. I petitioned them for F2A (Nov 5, 2012 PD). Yes it's very hard. I go to the Philippines twice a year to see them. While I'm here in the US, we skype EVERYDAY. We even talk and see each other (skype too) while I'm driving.

With today's technology, YES you can make it work, as long as you have solid priorities and goals.

[PD is Current. 50]

1. iPhone for both + unlimited Data plan

2. Fast DSL/Cable conneciton

3. Skype, Viber, Line apps

4. Lots of patient

[SavingCavemen 1]

Good to read some other souls on the same boat! (Well, good and bad since I wouldn't wish anyone to go through this, but you get the point )

I absolutely agree, technology is great aid. TO be honest, I have no clue how we would be doing this w/o Google hangouts (if you haven't tried them, they are a great tool to do multiple-party video conferences). We usually talk about 2 or 3 hours daily and more during the weekends if time permits.

Guess this will have to work for the next couple of years. We are just hoping they go by quickly...or a big leap in the dates on the next report...who knows

Hang in there, everyone!

C.

[travelove 3]

1. iPhone for both + unlimited Data plan

2. Fast DSL/Cable conneciton

3. Skype, Viber, Line apps

4. Lots of patient

Good thing we have all these technologies to help us.

[HannaB 3]

My husband and I have been apart since August 2011. He came to visit me once for five weeks last Christmas and we also went to the Dominican Republic for two weeks in April. I received my green card about a week ago and will go to the

U.S. on Thursday! This time apart has been very difficult and we will definitely need to work on re-building the relationship that we used to have once I am back. When apart we have skyped a lot, talked on the phone, emailed, sent text messages. I have also sent him cute cards in the mail to surprise him when he gets home from work and checks his mail box for him to know that I am always thinking about him. On special occassions (our anniversary and Valentine's day) I sent him flower deliveries. We have also sent MMS to each other to feel that we are part of each others every day life. And for the non shy I recommend skype sex. It definitely makes you feel closer to each other. I havent seen my husband since April but I do recommend seeing each other at least once every 3-4 months if possible.

I think it's also important to accept that you will not be as close as you once were and to know that you will need to work hard on your relationship when you move back in together and dont expect things to be once it were before one person had to leave. If you do expect it to be perfect right away I think it's easy to get disappointed and think "it this not working anymore?". Also give each other space after you have been apart and pretend that you are back to the dating stage where you are seducing the other person. If you do that then I think you will get back to a great place very fast!

[F2A 7]

Skype is the most common way.

[zeroka 7]

Also give each other space after you have been apart and pretend that you are back to the dating stage where you are seducing the other person. If you do that then I think you will get back to a great place very fast!

I couldn't agree more with this. No matter how much you skype with you significant other, it feels weird first when you are together again in person...everyone just gets used to contact the other only when they want...

[Positiva 0]

If you have a smartphone we use Whatsapp and it is free and is fantastic!! You can send messages, voice recordings (my husband sings to me), videos and pictures. It's our favorite! Staying connected in some way or another is critical because its so easy to get down and feel alone and want to blame each other or accuse one another because you are thinking negatively. Try to put yourself in their shoes and re-think a sad/bad or negative thought. Talk about what you can control and encourage each other. Don't dwell. These are the many lessons we have learned the hard way. Stick it out because love is worth all the effort!! Blessing to all and let's keep up the awesome support in this community! It has kept me going! Cheers!

[PD is Current. 50]

Cyber sex helps as well lol jk

[SavingCavemen 1]

It's so nice to read so many of you hanging in there. Definitely the f2a being current is the best thing that could happen to us and it was a true miracle!

I am currently in the US legally so we might file for adjustment of status and thus we would be together and not having to split anymore!

[niknak33 3]

My wife and I are split too, shes in San Fran and I am in the UK. It's been nearly 14 months, seen each other twice in that period. It's very hard but Skype, Facetime and Whatsapp are crucial to a marriage. I have no idea when my NOA2 will come out, I have to go through consular processing, maybe that's the hold up? I hope you all well in your journey.

[Husakovic 31]

Me and my husband had have been together for 2 and half years, half of that time was spent long distance but we always managed to make it work pretty good. I've returned to the USA 3 weeks ago and am about to file for our I-130 but we are arguing constantly! Our relationship/marriage has never been in this much trouble...I dont know if it is possible that we are just not strong enough to go through this a third time, especially now that we're married...most our fight are because of jealousy...and him having internet connection problems, im scared of losing him....tomorrow is our three month anniversary and im more unhappy then ever....