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Greg_Gemma

What to do?

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

That is tough buddy. Since she is here and you are already married, you may want to seek marriage counseling.


Sent I-129 Application to VSC 2/1/12
NOA1 2/8/12
RFE 8/2/12
RFE reply 8/3/12
NOA2 8/16/12
NVC received 8/27/12
NVC left 8/29/12
Manila Embassy received 9/5/12
Visa appointment & approval 9/7/12
Arrived in US 10/5/2012
Married 11/24/2012
AOS application sent 12/19/12

AOS approved 8/24/13

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

What would you do if it was your American wife?


27 January 2012: Mailed I-129F

03 February 2012: NOA1( e-mail & Text)

03 February 2012: Check Cashed

NO RFE'S

22 June 2012 : NOA2 (e-mail & Text)

16 July 2012: Manila Case Number(by phone)

17 July 2012: Interview paid at BPI

19 July 2012: Set interview for Mid-Aug

23-24 July 2012: Medical St. Lukes(passed)

24 July 2012: CFO Seminar(had to go next morning for landline #)- PASSED

02 Aug 2012: Received e-mail from USEM our case is there.

15 Aug 2012: Interview at USEM - APPROVED

13 SEP 2012: POE Minneapolis, MN

27 OCT 2012: Married

19 NOV 2012: AOS package sent

05 DEC 2012: NOA's I-765, I-131, I-485

14 DEC 2012: Biometrics appointment finished(Walk-in..Was scheduled Jan 04 2013)

02 FEB 2013: I-131 and I-765 Approved

07 FEB 2013: USPS Picked up the combo-card

11 FEB 2013: Received Combo-card

21 FEB 2013: Transit Visa picked up in Chicago for Japan

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I know this sounds harsh, but after my past experiences it would a goodbye. You can't have two loves. This sounds like a prelude to future of doubt and suspicion. She should be totally commited to you, not tell a past boyfriend that she loves him. I have never cheated on a woman and I have a thing about honesty and being faithful. Even if someone isn't sleeping with another person, they are thinking about them and about love with them.


May 9, 11. Met on dating site Filipinacupid

chat 2x a day since

Dec 23, 11. met in Cebu, traveled to Balamban.

Dec 25th 11 asked her fathers permission to marry her in Cebuano. Engaged.

Jan 1, 12. Came home.

Jan 18th 12, I-129f recieved at vsc

Jan 25th 12, first noa

Feb 9 12, touched

July 2, 12 approved

July 7, 12 recieved noa2

July 16th, called nvc recieved case #

Aug 1st, CFO completed

Aug 16th, Interview date and Approved

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

Greg

do something soon, evaluate the relationship. if you think it's worth saving get to a marriage consular quickly. if not start to consult a lawyer quickly as well. don't let it go on too long as the longer you drag it out the worse it will be for you, and likely for her too. I wish you the best of luck either way. I have been there with my ex (american)

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

Given what you say here, I would not be surprised if shortly after removing conditions she is gone. I hope I am wrong for your sake, but this just does not "smell" right.


event.png

08/14/2010 I-129F mailed to Lewisville, TX address for USPS Express Mail

08/16/2010 Packet forwarded to Dallas, TX

08/18/2010 Arrived at Dallas location (signed for by T GRIMMELT)

08/19/2010 NOA1

08/23/2010 Touched

08/23/2010 Received NOA1 hardcopy

08/25/2010 Touch #2

08/26/2010 Touch #3

10/03/2010 Touch again.... (hopefully moving to the adjudicators desk :-)

01/31/2011 NOA2

02/08/2011 Petition forwarded to Manila by the NVC

02/09/2011 Letter from NVC sent telling us the Case Number

02/17/2011 Visa Fee paid, interview scheduled

02/28/2011 Medical, Day 1

03/01/2011 Medical, Day 2 (Passed!)

03/14/2011 Interview, PASSED!!!!!

03/19/2011 Visa received (SHOCKINGLY fast!)

?????????? CFO Seminar

04/08/2011 POE Detroit

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I have never cheated on a woman and I have a thing about honesty and being faithful.

Well said, Rob. :thumbs:

I offer honesty and faithfulness to my wife and, in return, I expect it from her.


Tahoma and Chinook's K1 story --->> http://www.visajourney.com/forums/user/57425-tahoma/

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I know I'll be in the minority here but the situation may be more nuanced than it first appears. I'm trying to think about this logically and not have an emotional reaction of hurt affect the decision.

First how reliable is the information you have? Maybe it's exaggerated?

Second, maybe she still feels bad for this guy somehow, pities him, likes him, has some lingering feeling and wanted to make him feel better so she said that to him even though she has no intention or wish to take it anywhere.

I don't know if I'd take the extreme measure of cutting relations with your wife. Talk to her about it. Figure out what really happened. Go from there. If my wife actually cheated on me (and my ex-wife actually did) then ya I'd say goodbye quickly. But that's not what happened here, figure it out before doing anything drastic. That's what I think. :)

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I know I'll be in the minority here but the situation may be more nuanced than it first appears. I'm trying to think about this logically and not have an emotional reaction of hurt affect the decision.

First how reliable is the information you have? Maybe it's exaggerated?

Second, maybe she still feels bad for this guy somehow, pities him, likes him, has some lingering feeling and wanted to make him feel better so she said that to him even though she has no intention or wish to take it anywhere.

I don't know if I'd take the extreme measure of cutting relations with your wife. Talk to her about it. Figure out what really happened. Go from there. If my wife actually cheated on me (and my ex-wife actually did) then ya I'd say goodbye quickly. But that's not what happened here, figure it out before doing anything drastic. That's what I think. :)

I found an email on her IPAD that she sent to this guy. It had skype screens shots of him and a couple of her and she typed I LOVE YOU!. Pretty cut and dried about what she did.

I asked her how long this had been going on and never got a straight answer.

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

Its okay to be friends with ex bf/gf or ex wife/husband but to say that she/he still loves him/her is a different story. Maybe shes just confused before and now she realized that she loves her ex bf than you. For me if my husband will do that im gonna leave him and he knows that hahahaha...just one mistake and your out of my life... thankfully i have a very faithful husband and he got a faithful wife too.

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I just discovered that my filipino wife of 9 months has been chatting to an old boyfriend in the philippines and telling him how much she loves him. I confronted her about it and she says he is an old friend that she is sorry and wants to stay with me. ####### do I do?

Aaggghhhh that's why I hate "EX's"

I bet her exbf trying to chase her now because he knew shes here in the US...

Be honest with your wife. Tell her what you find out. But be calm. Are you sure she told him she loves him like the way youre thinking? Hhhmmm Im pretty sure they speak Tagalog...do you understand Tagalog? Maybe she meant to say she loves him as a friend...

Please don't be negative about this situation. don't let your relationship get ruin just because of an "ex"...speaking for my own experience :yes: if you guys both love each other...you guys should do give and take.....if she loves you she will try her best to stay away from that guys esp. If you told her how you feel and your been threaten that you might lost her because of him...or the other way around if you love her...if she just being friends I guess try to be more open minded. I know it's hard. but what the heck that guy will do his all the way in pinas lol I mean let just put it this way your here w/her....so do the best thing to keep the marriage working...and this all depend on how you will handle this situation. But remember if you end losing it...at the end youre the one will look bad after all. Get the point... (Try using reverse psychology...lol)

Edited by takis

The longer it takes to happen the more you'll appreciate it when it does!

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In my own experience... I chatted with my ex bf too on facebook before... Bcoz i had this feeling of a need to have a good closure to the relationship we had so i can really move on. I never really had the chance to talk to him when i was still in the philippines. But i never said i love him still or showed any feelings bcoz i am already married...we chatted once and thats it, true that once they know your already here they will try to sweet talk to you but its really up to the person if he/she will get tempted to it. Some people get confuse to thier feelings and will try to go back to thier past and if you will choose your past and still keep the present then you are already cheating...once a cheater always a cheater and that is a proven fact.

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