Sending Money Back Home

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Let me run this one by the crowd. Before any of you second guess me, My wife and I are close, never argue (much) , I am not controlling and go out of the way to insist she makes her own decisions, She does not work but has her own bank account that I always try to keep at least a few hundred in.. She has never asked for a penny or for me to send money back to the PI, although on several occasion, Birthdays, etc etc or I have volunteered to send some. My Idea, I do love her family and consider them my own.

She confessed to me the other day back in February ( Got here in Nov 11) she had sold a gold necklace she had brought from the PI, to send her mom money and some friends knew, and she wanted to tell me before I found out. I asked why she did not ask me, as I am very generous and she said she did not want to ask or appear she was money hungry or demanding . Said she did not marry me to send money home and had made that point clear to her family..

Here is the rub . Should I be touched she did that and glad I don't have that family demanding money issue or should I be a bit annoyed that she did not tell me ?? I also asked why she did not send her bank account money and she said she considered that our money. She always asks before she spends from that account even though I insist she does not have to, I think I do not have the typical pinay situation or maybe I do who knows.

[Cathi 5,770]

I wouldn't be annoyed at all. She sounds like a very thoughtful person. She obviously just wants to help her family, and does not want to ask you for money because she married you because she loves you. Your wife seems very sweet. I find what she did very endearing

[X Factor 1,112]

I concur. No need to be angry with her. Just periodically ask her if they family needs any assistance and volunteer to send something back.

[Sandra G. 5,051]

You shouldn't be annoyed at all!!!!!, but she needs to know that she can count on you to discuss about this issue. Many families living abroad depend on their daughter/sons living in thew USA for financial support, maybe your wife could get some part time job and then she will be able to help her family since you don't need her money to help you out.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

You shouldn't be annoyed at all!!!!!, but she needs to know that she can count on you to discuss about this issue. Many families living abroad depend on their daughter/sons living in thew USA for financial support, maybe your wife could get some part time job and then she will be able to help her family since you don't need her money to help you out.

Thanks for all the feedback. I think all of you are right.

Thing is I don't mind helping out here and there. This may also sound sexist but I like her not working and she seems to be A ok with that also.

[Pinoylover 6]

My fiance is the same and i support her now until she and my daughter to be get's here, She is very thoughful as your pinay is. Don't get mad at her over this because she will be sad for trying to do what she though was best just tell her from now on to come to you if something comes up and needs to send money home. But i will say this Even though she is probably the best thing that ever happen to you and would do anything you ask of her....but she not her family and sometimes they will start to ask for more and more? if this happens let her try to handle it and if you see she can't then step in and say something? You might be suprised how she will not ask anymore if she thinks her family is trying to take advantage. Hope it all works out for you guys....God Bless

Edited June 2, 2012 by Pinoylover

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

My fiance is the same and i support her now until she and my daughter to be get's here, She is very thoughful as your pinay is. Don't get mad at her over this because she will be sad for trying to do what she though was best just tell her from now on to come to you if something comes up and needs to send money home. But i will say this Even though she is probably the best thing that ever happen to you and would do anything you ask of her....but she not her family and sometimes they will start to ask for more and more? if this happens let her try to handle it and if you see she can't then step in and say something? You might be suprised how she will not ask anymore if she thinks her family is trying to take advantage. Hope it all works out for you guys....God Bless

O yes it's all good. I was never upset and it was not a big deal. I guess felt guilty a bit. I did the same. I asked her to stop working about 2 or 3 months before she got here. Chatting and talking on Pinoy time and trying to work was not a fit. As for her family, they are really really great people. To tell the truth most of them are professionals and don't need my help. They have cars, travel abroad etc. It's just her closest brother and Mom have a small need here and there. I feel really blessed in that area. She has some friends that really have a battle with demanding family members, that seems more is never enough.

[adiiann 163]

It's hard on her part that she's not earning the money that she's sending to her family in the Philippines. If you think you have extra cash in the pocket, volunteer to help her family. That way, she will feel more comfortable.

[Hank_ 9,174]

For sure no reason to be angry, but she needs to know to be more open and talk to you about things, not hide things. Had she talked to you she would still be wearing the gold necklace.

Edited June 2, 2012 by Hank_Amy

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Exactly Hank. . Now that we have fully vetted the issue and all is well she even laugh ling asked. So now you replace Necklace.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Yup, have to replace the necklace... that's a given in my book.

[Brent & Lei 0]

Ditto Ditto your a lucky guy

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Yup, have to replace the necklace... that's a given in my book.

No way! That would be enabling!

You got to stop that stuff before it gets out of hand, and it will, if you don't put an end to it now!

[Hank_ 9,174]

No way! That would be enabling!

You got to stop that stuff before it gets out of hand, and it will, if you don't put an end to it now!

They talked, she is good to go... so replace the necklace as he would have given her the money anyway... no brainer.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

They talked, she is good to go... so replace the necklace as he would have given her the money anyway... no brainer.

Hope so. I have had the talk. Everything is settled, and a few months later, it is, "Oh, I forgot!" Blood is thicker than water.

Ina laging mauna. Ang pinakamahusay na maaari mong asahan, ay upang kontrolin ang dumudugo.