Wife wants to kick me out of US and also asked me to leave the apartment

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

I'm a little worried about that transfer. If was before he came to the USA, could it be interpreted as payment for marriage to get him to the USA? I thought arranged marriages were not lightly broken. Three months together here and they divorce? I think his standard of proving this was a legit marriage might be a bit higher. Affidavits from family on both sides I think are definitely in order. Attempting to continue to save the marriage are in order, even if you go to marriage counselling alone. It might open his eyes to new ways of saving their marriage. But definitely he should not be staying in the same residence now, not with the risk of the police getting involved. These threats to send him back don't sound good either.

Spot on mate, I share the same feeling.

It's not an easy situation to be in and my heart goes out to immigrants that are caught in these predicaments.

[Selim Khan 0]

I'm a little worried about that transfer. If was before he came to the USA, could it be interpreted as payment for marriage to get him to the USA? I thought arranged marriages were not lightly broken. Three months together here and they divorce? I think his standard of proving this was a legit marriage might be a bit higher. Affidavits from family on both sides I think are definitely in order. Attempting to continue to save the marriage are in order, even if you go to marriage counselling alone. It might open his eyes to new ways of saving their marriage. But definitely he should not be staying in the same residence now, not with the risk of the police getting involved. These threats to send him back don't sound good either.

The transfers were made after we got married. She also sent back some parts of the money in the very start but later did none. I have proof in the portal I worked, get paid, transfered to paypal then paypal to bank. Also, I still have contact with that particular employer who paid me for the job. We spent our first 3 months together after got married. If you are sniffing any marriage fraud(!) I am sorry there is nothing like that. The visa counselor was happy to see all those photos of our marriage and I still remember her smile. we had two marriage ceremony(one arranged by them and i did the other) and went to honeymoon where we took some pictures as well.

[Sirdaniel42 86]

Sir, please leave NOW and take all your evidence with you that you will need. You already have a GC, have documentation that you entered in good faith, joint stuff, etc

Rent a room in a house close to your job so that you can walk/bus/bicycle there - ask your coworkers for assistance. You're bargaining from a position of weakness if you continue to allow yourself to be in your existing household and be abused. Then after you've established that you don't need her then maybe you Guys can go to counselling, etc and patch things up but you would have fired a salvo across her bows.

I firmly beleive in this, that once the Police department is involved in your household then all is compeltely lost. The Police are not marraige counsellors, they are there to decide what crime has occured and who to arrest and haul in.

I'm personally convinced that you won't take steps to help yourself and you will continue to make excuses and your next posts will be how you were arrested, etc

PS: I grind my teeth whenever I read these posts where the Parents are so heavily involved in their adult childrens life decisions.

:thumbs: Totaly!!!!

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

The transfers were made after we got married. She also sent back some parts of the money in the very start but later did none. I have proof in the portal I worked, get paid, transfered to paypal then paypal to bank. Also, I still have contact with that particular employer who paid me for the job. We spent our first 3 months together after got married. If you are sniffing any marriage fraud(!) I am sorry there is nothing like that. The visa counselor was happy to see all those photos of our marriage and I still remember her smile. we had two marriage ceremony(one arranged by them and i did the other) and went to honeymoon where we took some pictures as well.

It's not what we think on VJ, it's the perception that USCIS has demonstrated that we can only go on.

People have been approved for visa but to get rejected at embassy level, people have been approved at embassy level but get rejected at POE, people have been approved at POE but get rejected at AOS. Similar documents, so just because your set of data passed a stage doesn't guarantee that it will pass the other.

Just have all your ducks in a row and make sure to have all your evidences, I think the important ones now are the ones that can demonstarte that you entered the marriage in good faith.

[Selim Khan 0]

It's not what we think on VJ, it's the perception that USCIS has demonstrated that we can only go on.

People have been approved for visa but to get rejected at embassy level, people have been approved at embassy level but get rejected at POE, people have been approved at POE but get rejected at AOS. Similar documents, so just because your set of data passed a stage doesn't guarantee that it will pass the other.

Just have all your ducks in a row and make sure to have all your evidences, I think the important ones now are the ones that can demonstarte that you entered the marriage in good faith.

Thanks for enlighten me. What kind of other documents I may possibly collect which aren't in the list I posted earlier? Thanks again for helping me out

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Thanks for enlighten me. What kind of other documents I may possibly collect which aren't in the list I posted earlier? Thanks again for helping me out

There are far more savvy forumers that will come along and guide you as I have no direct personal experience with these.

[Caryh 5,206]

The transfers were made after we got married. She also sent back some parts of the money in the very start but later did none. I have proof in the portal I worked, get paid, transfered to paypal then paypal to bank. Also, I still have contact with that particular employer who paid me for the job. We spent our first 3 months together after got married. If you are sniffing any marriage fraud(!) I am sorry there is nothing like that. The visa counselor was happy to see all those photos of our marriage and I still remember her smile. we had two marriage ceremony(one arranged by them and i did the other) and went to honeymoon where we took some pictures as well.

Actually I'm feeling your sincerity in trying to make the marriage work. I'm just pointing out what USCIS might think. Fraudulent marriages for payment are one of the things ICE does chase down because it is a crime. BTW she would be in more trouble than you for such a thing. But document what the money was sent for. Her emails requesting the deposit for whatever reason you sent it. Have a explanation for why the money was transfered, and any proof to back that up. Keep those photos! Get evidence of trying to make the marriage work! Get evidence of the threats of having you deported or sending ICE after you. Trying to control you like that is emotional abuse. In the future, if she wants to leave the house, let her leave. Wait for her to calm down and come back.

[Selim Khan 0]

Actually I'm feeling your sincerity in trying to make the marriage work. I'm just pointing out what USCIS might think. Fraudulent marriages for payment are one of the things ICE does chase down because it is a crime. BTW she would be in more trouble than you for such a thing. But document what the money was sent for. Her emails requesting the deposit for whatever reason you sent it. Have a explanation for why the money was transfered, and any proof to back that up. Keep those photos! Get evidence of trying to make the marriage work! Get evidence of the threats of having you deported or sending ICE after you. Trying to control you like that is emotional abuse. In the future, if she wants to leave the house, let her leave. Wait for her to calm down and come back.

Thanks again for your valuable suggessions. I have the documents as I mentioned before. Also, I have the reciepts which mentiones the amount she sent to me from the amount I transfered to her. The reason behind this transfer to her and her to me was the third party portal I was working on charges a lot ($35) to make a transfer but I transfered to paypal which costed me $1 and transfered to her bank for free and then she transfering to my account costed only $5.

I have the email conversation with the service provider who provides service of marriage counselling which I think I could take a print and present as evidence. Unfortunately there is no proof of threats. It was her words. the only way I can collect those threats as proof is just recording but I am not sure how is that possible!

Unfotunately, she doesn't want to leave the house. The asked me to leave the house even though I pay the rents, the bills.

[Caryh 5,206]

Thanks again for your valuable suggessions. I have the documents as I mentioned before. Also, I have the reciepts which mentiones the amount she sent to me from the amount I transfered to her. The reason behind this transfer to her and her to me was the third party portal I was working on charges a lot ($35) to make a transfer but I transfered to paypal which costed me $1 and transfered to her bank for free and then she transfering to my account costed only $5.

I wasn't refering to why you used paypal, but why did you send the money to her? Does she ask for it for certain expenses in and email? Its normally seen that a USC or resident is sending money to another country to cover costs. Money being sent to sponsor in the USA could be looked at as payment for getting someone into the USA. Anything you have showing it was to combine assets and not a payment to her will help you

I have the email conversation with the service provider who provides service of marriage counselling which I think I could take a print and present as evidence. Unfortunately there is no proof of threats. It was her words. the only way I can collect those threats as proof is just recording but I am not sure how is that possible!

Yes save those emails.

Unfotunately, she doesn't want to leave the house. The asked me to leave the house even though I pay the rents, the bills.

I was referring to when you argue and she wants to walk out. Don't try to hold her hands to stop her. I do think it would be in your interest not to live in the same house until you can work things out with her.

[quann 26]

ok, can we get her side of the story now? maybe email her a link to this thread?

from your perspective she's a heartless greedy cold rock while you're the gentle patient milk-giving cow who's so helpless and doesn't know what to do...

[JudyKCski 12]

Sounds to me like she has Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves. If her parents almost lost her when she was little then most likely they have helped to create the monster you are living with. She has been given everything I am sure she has ever wanted. I will say I feel sorry for her - I have to because these 'type' of people never are sympathetic with anyone and believe the world revolves around them only. I do know someone like this and believe me when I tell you NO ONE can change another person - the only person who can change is the person themselves. Also, these type of people are never happy and no one will ever be good enough for them!

I would do as someone else previously suggested - leave the house and do for yourself - as someone else mentioned you can make it on your own - personally if she were to start a arguement and take it into the halls for the neighbors to over hear then close the door behind her and let her rant and rave - believe me she is only making herself look like the fool she is. Don't touch her to pull her back into the apartment or anything - she wants someone to witness something.

Someone mentioned we are only hearing 1 side of the story - which is correct (maybe she thinks you are seeing someone else could be a lot of different senarios as we do not know her thoughts) - I am addressing only what you make mention about. Think of yourself (which is what she has been doing thinking of herself).

[Selim Khan 0]

ok, can we get her side of the story now? maybe email her a link to this thread?

from your perspective she's a heartless greedy cold rock while you're the gentle patient milk-giving cow who's so helpless and doesn't know what to do...

May be you should do that. what I said here, I did it honestly. I really don't care what your views if its not a suggestion which will help me down the road. I am a human being and right now, helpless as I know almost no one in this country except the in-laws!

[kzielu 1,147]

May be you should do that. what I said here, I did it honestly. I really don't care what your views if its not a suggestion which will help me down the road. I am a human being and right now, helpless as I know almost no one in this country except the in-laws!

So why don't you just return to your home country ?

[Selim Khan 0]

I sent her the money for the potential costs when I supposed to be here. I meant renting an apartment, buy some households things like that. But I really didn't want to spend all the money only for this. I sent her to send me which is way cheaper than the other option I had. And off-course I gave her permission to use some of the money which were spent buying some good cloths for her, a beautiful jewelery as a gift for our first anniversary and also to manage the expense of filling.

[Selim Khan 0]

Sounds to me like she has Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves. If her parents almost lost her when she was little then most likely they have helped to create the monster you are living with. She has been given everything I am sure she has ever wanted. I will say I feel sorry for her - I have to because these 'type' of people never are sympathetic with anyone and believe the world revolves around them only. I do know someone like this and believe me when I tell you NO ONE can change another person - the only person who can change is the person themselves. Also, these type of people are never happy and no one will ever be good enough for them!

I would do as someone else previously suggested - leave the house and do for yourself - as someone else mentioned you can make it on your own - personally if she were to start a arguement and take it into the halls for the neighbors to over hear then close the door behind her and let her rant and rave - believe me she is only making herself look like the fool she is. Don't touch her to pull her back into the apartment or anything - she wants someone to witness something.

Someone mentioned we are only hearing 1 side of the story - which is correct (maybe she thinks you are seeing someone else could be a lot of different senarios as we do not know her thoughts) - I am addressing only what you make mention about. Think of yourself (which is what she has been doing thinking of herself).

I agree with you totally. The view is quite accurate and I heard the same story from her parents. After the survival, all the family members treated her like a princess, they still do. Her parents begged me to forget everything she does as they know how stubborn their child could be. Her parents, brothers, sisters didn't just help but practically created what she is now. I tried to understand a lot showing practical examples in her family, how her sister-in-law treats her parents and she was the one cried whole nights seeing her parents suffering. However, she seems to understand but never made any changes except a temporary silence.

I couldn't tell you guys her side of the story but only can tell you whats her view of our marriage failure(its your decision trust me or not but believe me I can use some good advice). She wants to talk to my parent to let them know why our marriage failling. she only want to do that because her parents are in pain and she wants those pain to be shared with my parents as well. As per her understanding its failling because I want to support them with all hard earned money (I never took a single penny from her, its my hard earned money and want to support after our expenses). She do not contribute in our household expenses cause my family gets all the money without working, so why should she pay? she is my wife and she deserves that.