Transgender at 5 Years Old? Kathryn wanted pants. And short hair. Then trucks and swords.

[웃 910]

Transgender at five

Kathryn wanted pants. And short hair. Then trucks and swords.

Her parents, Jean and Stephen, were fine with their toddler’s embrace of all things boy. They’ve both been school teachers and coaches in Maryland and are pretty immune to the quirky stuff that kids do.

But it kept getting more intense, all this boyishness from their younger daughter. She began to argue vehemently — as only a tantrum-prone toddler can — that she was not a girl.

“I am a boy,” the child insisted, at just 2 years old.

And that made Jean uneasy. It was weird.

“I am a boy” became a constant theme in struggles over clothing, bathing, swimming, eating, playing, breathing.

Jean and Stephen gave up trying to force Kathryn to wear the frilly dresses that Grandma kept sending. Kathryn wanted nothing to do with her big sister Moyin’s glittery, sparkly pink approach to the world. (Moyin attends school with my son, which is how I came to know the family. The Washington Post is using the family’s middle names to protect their identity beyond their community, where their situation already is widely known.)

Kathryn didn’t even want to be around other little girls, let alone acknowledge that she biologically is one.

Jean tried to put her daughter’s behavior to rest. She sat down with a toddler-version of an anatomy book and showed Kathryn, by then 3, the cartoonish drawings of a naked boy and girl.

“See? You’re a girl. You have girl parts,” Jean told her big-eyed daughter. “You’ve always been a girl.”

Kathryn looked up at her mom, incomprehension clouding her round face.

“When did you change me?” the child asked.

The questions begin

Was something wrong with Kathryn?

Her little girl’s brain was different. Jean could tell. She had heard about transgender people, those who are one gender physically but the other gender mentally. Who hadn’t caught the transgendered Chaz Bono drama on “Dancing With the Stars”?

“But this young? In kids?” Jean wondered. She had grown up in a traditional family in the Midwest, with a mother who’d gone to medical school after having children. Jean considered herself open-minded, but this was clearly outside her realm of experience.

She went online to see if a book about transgender kids even existed. It did — “The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals.” Its summary read: “What do you do when your toddler daughter’s first sentence is that she’s a boy? What will happen when your preschool son insists on wearing a dress to school? Is this ever just a phase? How can you explain this to your neighbors and family?”

Bingo.

When it arrived at their Maryland home, Jean ripped through it, soaking up every word. But she couldn’t bring herself to share what she’d read with her husband.

Jean, 38, and Stephen, 40, had met at a Washington area gym, where both taught classes. They married in 2001.

Jean eventually quit teaching to stay home with her kids and continue her education. Stephen, who comes from an immigrant family, teaches science at a public high school, where he is beloved by many of his students. His Facebook page floods with their hellos and happy birthdays. He is vocal about encouraging girls to buck the stereotypes in science.

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[Obama 2012 1,714]

poor little mentally defective children.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Like a five year old is going to know about sex and gender differences. This county makes me want to puke. Who's the parents these days and who's the children? It makes you wonder who calls the shots.

These messed up pseudo parents should be thrown in the joint.

Edited May 22, 2012 by Why_Me

[웃 910]

Like a five year old is going to know about sex and gender differences. This county makes me want to puke. Who's the parents these days and who's the children? It makes you wonder who calls the shots.

These messed up pseudo parents should be thrown in the joint.

Coming soon to an Alaskan school near you!

Thai school offers transsexual toilet

A new toilet sign has been created at this Thai school

Edited May 22, 2012 by ☠

[Darnell 8,478]

so the immigrant spouse brought in this mixed up gene when the dna was combined? is that the focus of the article?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Good for Kathryn's parents who are letting their child grow and be who they want to be without making them feel like an outcast, or different, or weird. The last thing I'd ever want to do as a parent would be to force my child to live a life they were uncomfortable with.

[^_^ 5,021]

Good for Kathryn's parents who are letting their child grow and be who they want to be without making them feel like an outcast, or different, or weird. The last thing I'd ever want to do as a parent would be to force my child to live a life they were uncomfortable with.

My daughter (11 months) is very uncomfortable with a routine-based lifestyle. She hates sleeping in her crib. She gets really mad if I come home and mom has her strapped in her highchair so she can finish eating - she thinks if I come home it's time to go out and look at the birds and yell at them.

We should just let her do what she wants.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

My daughter (11 months) is very uncomfortable with a routine-based lifestyle. She hates sleeping in her crib. She gets really mad if I come home and mom has her strapped in her highchair so she can finish eating - she thinks if I come home it's time to go out and look at the birds and yell at them.

We should just let her do what she wants.

I don't think a child should be able to do what they want, and I never said that nor did I mean to imply it. But if my daughter wants to play with toy cars instead of Barbies, wear pants instead of dresses, have short hair instead of long hair ... then so be it. She's an individual and she can be whoever she wants to be, in my opinion.

[^_^ 5,021]

I don't think a child should be able to do what they want, and I never said that nor did I mean to imply it. But if my daughter wants to play with toy cars instead of Barbies, wear pants instead of dresses, have short hair instead of long hair ... then so be it. She's an individual and she can be whoever she wants to be, in my opinion.

What if she (being an individual and all) wants to be someone who doesn't eat enough or sleep enough?

poor little mentally defective children.

This made me LOL.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

What if she (being an individual and all) wants to be someone who doesn't eat enough or sleep enough?

Well that would be hazardous to their health and wouldn't be something as insignificant as clothing choices, would it?

[^_^ 5,021]

Well that would be hazardous to their health and wouldn't be something as insignificant as clothing choices, would it?

Gender identity isn't insignificant.

That's what this thread is about.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Gender identity isn't insignificant.

That's what this thread is about.

I understand that, but you're trying to make it seem as if me letting my child dress how they want, play with what toys they want, wear their hair as short as they want ... that I'd let them have complete control over their lives and not have to follow any routine or structure and that's not true in the least.

Sometimes it's a phase in young children, sometimes it's not. All I said was that I'd let my child be who they wanted to be, and if it ends up not being a phase, we'd deal with it accordingly. I certainly wouldn't force her to dress like a girl or act the way girls are "supposed to". Nor would I act like there was something "wrong" with her. That's just me. You raise your children the way you believe is right, I'll do the same with mine.

[^_^ 5,021]

Sometimes it's a phase in young children, sometimes it's not. All I said was that I'd let my child be who they wanted to be, and if it ends up not being a phase, we'd deal with it accordingly. I certainly wouldn't force her to dress like a girl or act the way girls are "supposed to".

I just have a few questions for you. I'm trying to understand.

If your 5 year old daughter said "I'm a boy", would you correct her?

If your 5 year old daughter said "I'm 12", would you correct her?

If your 5 year old daughter said "Evylin is my dad", would you correct her?

[Darnell 8,478]

My daughter (11 months) is very uncomfortable with a routine-based lifestyle. She hates sleeping in her crib. She gets really mad if I come home and mom has her strapped in her highchair so she can finish eating - she thinks if I come home it's time to go out and look at the birds and yell at them.

We should just let her do what she wants.

This will change as she grows older (if you allow her to grow older, that is)

Good Luck with the transitions! There will be many! (most are not gender identity related, so that's a plus)

[^_^ 5,021]

... if you allow her to grow older, that is ...

I have the power to stop time?