RUB - FSU children compared to USC children & others

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Given that this thread is about FSU child-rearing, your opinion has very little meaning since you don't have any experience with the topic. And part of the transitioning for adults, when there are children involved, is meshing the two very different child-rearing beliefs and practices and getting on the same page.

Why do you even care what people here talk about? What skin off of your nose is it if people want to talk about their child-raising experiences?

I don't care enough about the topic to put up with your territorial attitude towards me.

[eekee 182]

I don't care enough about the topic to put up with your territorial attitude towards me.

Which means what, exactly?

[Ban Hammer 12,903]

last warning for all

Edited April 9, 2012 by charles!

[highlander08 9]

last warning for all

Thank You Charles. !!!!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

All really depends on the child. My step-son was two when he moved here. He has no real father, that part of his BC is blank, and I am the only Papa that he has known / will know. Eventually he will be told his background but by then it won't matter.

For others, yes the older the child, regardless of where they are from, the more 'issues' will need to be resolved / anticipated / expected / dealt with.

With both parents on the same child rearing wavelength, the better.

There is no issues with American children versus FSU children...besides what their parents/parent has allowed them to get away with.

I, as a child, would have been very quiet amongst adults, especially strangers.....that's how my parents taught me to behave.

I would never have opened someone else's fridge without permission. It is not an American trait....it's just a sigh of poor parenting......that can trascend boundaries.

To the OP, for your new family, since both children are more than let's say 5 years of age.....all of you will need to have an agreement and a plan to work things out.

There is nothing cultural about it, just new people....with different languages...living together all of a sudden.

I would contend that would be cultural Phil. But language is a nuisance and really nothing more. Be it known up front, it is a lot of work, but the problem eventually goes away or becomes less of a problem. I still work with Pasha on vocabulary. Mostly to refine his skills as he WILL be going to college and he needs to do well. Also because a 3.71 GPA is not acceptable in this house.

At any rate, "what it is" is not important. That it exists is important. That it may exist with children from other countries is not important to the topic of the thread which was started in the RUB forum. I feel no obligation (nor any ability) to speak about Brazillian children, Agentina children or Namibian children. I presume that there are threads about those things in those sub-forum areas but I do not know because I do not go there. I think the idea of regional sub-forums is a good one

What IS important you have hit on, that the parents agree on child rearing, both in the tactics and the strategy of it. I think probably there is nothing more important to a marriage. Had it not been for this particular point I could have married any number of Ukrainian hotties of various flavors. This was important to me. Children are important to most FSU women and for those guys looking for a young hottie with no kids, keep in mind they are going to WANT kids, so one way or another it is most likely going to be an issue. (Probably not for Slim until his wife figures out she can have children and STILL be hot )

There was a couple here as members a couple years ago. The Icon photo pretty much told the story. The guy, mid-late 40's or so, was grinning like the chesire cat holding on to his hot blonde Ukrainian hottie mid-late 20s or so. He asked lots of questions, none having anything to do with a family or children even though his fiancee had a young daughter. His fiancee finally arrived and Mister Smoothie decides he is going to delay the wedding until the 89th day and go on vacation to impress his new "family" The girl gets sick and it turns out she has diabetes and Mr. Chesire Cat wipes the grin off his face, freaks out and sends his fiancee and her daighter back to Ukraine, because he was "scared" what it would do to his life. Also because dumb@ss had played around and not gotten married they were not covered by his insurance, what a great plan! Jeapordize your family because you want a vacation. Does anyone remember that? I went off on him to a scale that I thought I would be burned at the stake by Katheryn41 who didn't even take down my post. I AM NOT making judgements about people's age gaps. I do not care about such things. I also believe that some FSU women more easily accept older men because they believe they are more stable and better as FATHERS and as the head of their family. I think, clearly, these two people's expectations of each other were way off base. Too bad, because the woman could certainly have been a dynamo if the guy was a good dad. Fair trade I would say. She was probably looking for a good father who she would also have uninhibited, crazy wild sex with and he was looking for unihibtied crazy wild sex 24/7 and thought the kid would go away and leave them alone. They don't. Ever.

Clearly those two had not discussed anything but skype-sex. I still think it suspicious that a 5 year old OOOPS! is a diabetic. Big surprise! But I suppose it is possible that they just discovered this for the first time right after she arrived. You gotta find out sometime. I suspect it was more likely a case of his finacee not being comfortable to discuss her children's health with her "knight in shining armor" That should be a clue.

If the parents do not agree on parenting the marriage is doomed. And it is more than saying "Do you like children?" "Oh yeah, I love children"

[baron555 934]

And it is more than saying "Do you like children?" "Oh yeah, I love children"

We really don't know much about the OP and his relationship; he's never answered my basic questions.

I wonder what that means?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

We really don't know much about the OP and his relationship; he's never answered my basic questions.

I wonder what that means?

He may not be able to yet. At any rate it is not bad advice to have in advance. Nothing top secret about it though.

[highlander08 9]

Hello everybody, and thanks again for all of your comments and advice, no disrespect or putting down American children in general, but based upon, behavior of not all but some American adults, competition to extremes, to get ahead the backstabbing in the workplace, the teenagers having the pressure to join gangs in many large cities, teenagers rebelling against their parents because they feel like they are dictators when they really just love them and are trying to look out for the very best for them based on their life experiences and they do not want their children to repeat thier mistakes. The disrespect shown to many adults and parents, because we just don't understand them ( so they think). If you have watched Nanny 911, super nanny on tlc channel. or other shows similar to this one, some parents in all honesty either do not know how to work with children to train them up right, or having to work two jobs to provide for the family, do not spend the quality time with the children that they really need in order to have a good upbringing. Please remember I am not putting down Americans or American children in general but I do see quite a lot of this in our society. Which brings me to my question, based upon all the rave reviews of RUB and FSU spouses, their not getting upset over other peoples folly and drama in thier lives, the general outlook of ah well that's life don't get upset over it when other people are upset.. even when they are very beautiful they don't seem to think they are,because of thier culture, ?.. when many, not all but many American women who are far from attractive seem to consider themselves as prima donnas and princesses expecting to be treated like royalty, and always looking for the fairy tale ideal of romance and love in their life. And not accepting a good man, willing to work hard and take care of his family because of his appearance, and many look at your assets and not your #######.!!!!!! I cannot remember how many beautiful American women dressed very nicely, have looked down their nose at me, as if they are superior in some way.{ I think this is based somehow upon upbringing, peer pressure, and overinflated ego's...)

The reason I'm asking this, is because I love my daughter very dearly and with planning on bringing a FSU angel over here with a young child 8-9 years old, I would like to know in general how is child rearing, training, possible discipline handled over there. I realize every family is different, but are there certain standards and traditions followed for childrearing.

Thanks again everyone for all of your help and advice.

Hello, Baron 555 "and with planning on bringing a FSU angel over here with a young child 8-9 years old," It IS clearly stated right here in my first post. her 38, chercassy , ukraine. him 8-9 depending upon when or if I bring them over, as at any time during our becoming better aquainted she has the option of saying adios. as do I. Thats why as stated in this and my other posts I am seeking advice and insight based upon actual {not virtual or other culture } FSU experience with cultural RUB specific family morals/traditions/values ect...

[highlander08 9]

This is true but you have to spend a fair amount of time with them to properly train them. My concern is inappropriat behaviour form new boy towards my little angel.as she is very sensitive, and exploratory sexual oriented actions from an agressive young man can cause trauma for a very sensitive , emotional girl.. I would think women would more sensitive to this concern. and I have a house full of antiques that I dont want messed up before my house rules are learned..

Again: attention Baron 555. during the course of this and other posts I thought I had stated most if not all of the particulars I am not going to give her name adress or any other specifics due to respect and privacy rights for her and her child. my questions are in general I do not know all your personal info just basic info... I think by now everybody on this website knows a h%ll of a lot more about me and my personal situation than I know about you guys, Gary and Alla excluded as Gary has been very helpful and specific with his answers and advice, for which I am eternally grateful. the info I have given to date is ALL the Personal info I will give...... thanks again everyone for the insight and advice.

Edited April 9, 2012 by highlander08

[highlander08 9]

Hello, Baron 555 "and with planning on bringing a FSU angel over here with a young child 8-9 years old," It IS clearly stated right here in my first post. her 38, chercassy , ukraine. him 8-9 depending upon when or if I bring them over, as at any time during our becoming better aquainted she has the option of saying adios. as do I. Thats why as stated in this and my other posts I am seeking advice and insight based upon actual {not virtual or other culture } FSU experience with cultural RUB specific family morals/traditions/values ect...

I just changed the location as it was the first lady was moldova.

[baron555 934]

thanks again everyone for the insight and advice.

Don't be snippy now. ALL of my info is around here somewhere, you're just new and we're are not as new.

Anyway a couple more questions and some more comments:

Where/How did you guys meet?

Only emails or do you talk on the phone or Skype video? How's her English?

Is the father still around? If so, know that you will need a notarized letter from him allowing the child to permanently immigrate to the US and to come back and forth to and from Ukraine. This letter should be first before you start any visa process....because without it, the child will not be allowed to leave.

Your lady's age and such are perfect but you must, assuming the first meeting goes well, ensure she knows everything about her possible future life here; much will be a big surprise to her.

And just to clue you in a bit, my history:

Paid my $99 and chose many women from EM's online catalog. Had developed a plan of attack including a long killer intro letter professionally translated into Russian. This allowed me to stand above the normal din of men who were trying to correspond with these ladies. Whittled the flock down to 5 very possible ladies; engaged them in emails, phone calls within two weeks of first email and for some Skype video calls within about the same time. After two months my wife Alla and I decided that we matched up well, on paper, and decided to plan to meet and to take our correspondence exclusive. In her first letter she told me about the 1.5 year old boy she had foster guardianship over and that he was most important in her life. I stated that I loved children and would love to have one in my family; and at that age moving to a new family abroad would not be so traumatic. We met for 10 days and decided to pursue the K-1 but still spent nearly every day talking and learning all about each other. We had to delay her interview since she hadn't yet been granted full adoption of the child within the Russian Adoption system. Once that was done, she was approved (after a request for more evidence which was emailed) and a week alter they were here. And still are, all are very happy. She's a 37 young blond Russian hottie and I'm a 55 year fit healthy guy with hair! Leonid is almost 5 now and is a perfect young angel boy (he's not a monster!!). My Alla did a favor for Gary and Alla's Sergey, when he was first attending school in Moscow and the two Allas were able to meet up in Moscow so mine could pump her for information about life here in the US...hence the knowledge we both have of each other's families and backgrounds.

[highlander08 9]

Don't be snippy now. ALL of my info is around here somewhere, you're just new and we're are not as new.

Anyway a couple more questions and some more comments:

Where/How did you guys meet?

Only emails or do you talk on the phone or Skype video? How's her English?

Is the father still around? If so, know that you will need a notarized letter from him allowing the child to permanently immigrate to the US and to come back and forth to and from Ukraine. This letter should be first before you start any visa process....because without it, the child will not be allowed to leave.

Your lady's age and such are perfect but you must, assuming the first meeting goes well, ensure she knows everything about her possible future life here; much will be a big surprise to her.

And just to clue you in a bit, my history:

Paid my $99 and chose many women from EM's online catalog. Had developed a plan of attack including a long killer intro letter professionally translated into Russian. This allowed me to stand above the normal din of men who were trying to correspond with these ladies. Whittled the flock down to 5 very possible ladies; engaged them in emails, phone calls within two weeks of first email and for some Skype video calls within about the same time. After two months my wife Alla and I decided that we matched up well, on paper, and decided to plan to meet and to take our correspondence exclusive. In her first letter she told me about the 1.5 year old boy she had foster guardianship over and that he was most important in her life. I stated that I loved children and would love to have one in my family; and at that age moving to a new family abroad would not be so traumatic. We met for 10 days and decided to pursue the K-1 but still spent nearly every day talking and learning all about each other. We had to delay her interview since she hadn't yet been granted full adoption of the child within the Russian Adoption system. Once that was done, she was approved (after a request for more evidence which was emailed) and a week alter they were here. And still are, all are very happy. She's a 37 young blond Russian hottie and I'm a 55 year fit healthy guy with hair! Leonid is almost 5 now and is a perfect young angel boy (he's not a monster!!). My Alla did a favor for Gary and Alla's Sergey, when he was first attending school in Moscow and the two Allas were able to meet up in Moscow so mine could pump her for information about life here in the US...hence the knowledge we both have of each other's families and backgrounds.

EM,only emails, basic english, I translate on bing translate as I said in a former post I spend hours going back and forth with bing translating my letters and changing words around with a thesaurus so she gets the full meaning of my intent, she sends her letter in russian I translate and read with a bit of salt based on how I know the translation software can change things around..father not active on a regular basis.

Edited April 9, 2012 by highlander08

[baron555 934]

EM,only emails, basic english, I translate on bing translate .father not active regular basis.

So no phone calls or Skype video....at all, none?

If only emails then how do you know she is who she writes she is?

The father's letter could be a sticky point. Gary will give you the details, which can be found many times in many threads if you search back some pages here on RUB.

[highlander08 9]

So no phone calls or Skype video....at all, none?

If only emails then how do you know she is who she writes she is?

The father's letter could be a sticky point. Gary will give you the details, which can be found many times in many threads if you search back some pages here on RUB.

EM shows her as verified real person. you dealt with them you should know thier commitment to honesty and integrity.if it was a scam by now she would be passionately in love and asking for all kinds of $$$$$$. we have been communicating for aprox 2 mos.

[baron555 934]

EM shows her as verified real person. you dealt with them you should know thier commitment to honesty and integrity.if it was a scam by now she would be passionately in love and asking for all kinds of $$$$$$. we have been communicating for aprox 2 mos.

EM's verification process is just to check name and address; it won't weed out GTGs or the like.

Why no phone calls? Every FSU woman has more than one phone; they are cheap.

What about Skype?

Sri, but this is just a big "somewhat reddish" flag.

When are you going to meet? Where? Who's picking out the apartment? Who's purchasing it?