RUB - FSU children compared to USC children & others

[highlander08 9]

Hello everybody, and thanks again for all of your comments and advice, no disrespect or putting down American children in general, but based upon, behavior of not all but some American adults, competition to extremes, to get ahead the backstabbing in the workplace, the teenagers having the pressure to join gangs in many large cities, teenagers rebelling against their parents because they feel like they are dictators when they really just love them and are trying to look out for the very best for them based on their life experiences and they do not want their children to repeat thier mistakes. The disrespect shown to many adults and parents, because we just don't understand them ( so they think). If you have watched Nanny 911, super nanny on tlc channel. or other shows similar to this one, some parents in all honesty either do not know how to work with children to train them up right, or having to work two jobs to provide for the family, do not spend the quality time with the children that they really need in order to have a good upbringing. Please remember I am not putting down Americans or American children in general but I do see quite a lot of this in our society. Which brings me to my question, based upon all the rave reviews of RUB and FSU spouses, their not getting upset over other peoples folly and drama in thier lives, the general outlook of ah well that's life don't get upset over it when other people are upset.. even when they are very beautiful they don't seem to think they are,because of thier culture, ?.. when many, not all but many American women who are far from attractive seem to consider themselves as prima donnas and princesses expecting to be treated like royalty, and always looking for the fairy tale ideal of romance and love in their life. And not accepting a good man, willing to work hard and take care of his family because of his appearance, and many look at your assets and not your #######.!!!!!! I cannot remember how many beautiful American women dressed very nicely, have looked down their nose at me, as if they are superior in some way.{ I think this is based somehow upon upbringing, peer pressure, and overinflated ego's...)

The reason I'm asking this, is because I love my daughter very dearly and with planning on bringing a FSU angel over here with a young child 8-9 years old, I would like to know in general how is child rearing, training, possible discipline handled over there. I realize every family is different, but are there certain standards and traditions followed for childrearing.

Thanks again everyone for all of your help and advice.

Edited April 5, 2012 by highlander08

[mox 298]

Every parent and child is different. This would be a great conversation to have with your fiancee. What are her methods and beliefs in child-rearing?

[AmyWrites 593]

What I see in Moscow kids: more gangs, more smoking, more skipping school, etc. And yeah, that thing where women wear real short skirts and heels all the the time? It starts when the girls' about 11-12, and personally I will not let my daughter leave my house dressed in such a way that Vladimir Nabokov would find it vulgar. Yeah, maybe Soviet education was good, but these days it truly depends on where you live, and the majority of it is varying degrees of mediocre to #######. Not to mention diploma mills here are common as cigar butts are in the streets, so you technically don't need to do well in school. Now that $$$$ is doing very well in Moscow, kids are quite spoiled and entitled. They're not much different than their American counterparts, maybe expect in the excessive smoking bit.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Just remember, the goal is to be their parent and not their friend, and you will be fine.

[baron555 934]

Child rearing is child rearing. Children are children. There are no differences.

This is something you NEED to discuss with your fiance so that you both can be on the same wavelength in ragards to eduction, parenting, discipline, and how you will attempt to assimilate the two kids together. That may be your biggest issue.

You seem, based on all these generalized questions, have this thought that FSU people are so magically and mysteriously different than anyone else. If you really are serious on making this work...this time...then get talking with your fiance.

How is her English?

I've asked you many specific questions and you have rarely answered them. We need specifics if you really want some of our insight.

[highlander08 9]

Just remember, the goal is to be their parent and not their friend, and you will be fine.

This is true but you have to spend a fair amount of time with them to properly train them. My concern is inappropriat behaviour form new boy towards my little angel.as she is very sensitive, and exploratory sexual oriented actions from an agressive young man can cause trauma for a very sensitive , emotional girl.. I would think women would more sensitive to this concern. and I have a house full of antiques that I dont want messed up before my house rules are learned..

[highlander08 9]

Child rearing is child rearing. Children are children. There are no differences.

This is something you NEED to discuss with your fiance so that you both can be on the same wavelength in ragards to eduction, parenting, discipline, and how you will attempt to assimilate the two kids together. That may be your biggest issue.

You seem, based on all these generalized questions, have this thought that FSU people are so magically and mysteriously different than anyone else. If you really are serious on making this work...this time...then get talking with your fiance.

How is her English?

I've asked you many specific questions and you have rarely answered them. We need specifics if you really want some of our insight.

her english is just above basic, I am learning basic russian with pimsluer.

I'll tell you my story when I have more time.. thanks again.

[tmma 467]

This is true but you have to spend a fair amount of time with them to properly train them. My concern is inappropriat behaviour form new boy towards my little angel.as she is very sensitive, and exploratory sexual oriented actions from an agressive young man can cause trauma for a very sensitive , emotional girl.. I would think women would more sensitive to this concern. and I have a house full of antiques that I dont want messed up before my house rules are learned..

What ages are we talking?

Set rules. Stick to them and the consequences for not following them.

Kids need to know what and where the boundaries are.

[1HappyGuy 45]

With all of these threads you have started lately and the fact that you have not filled out the most basic information, I am wondering if you are just trolling for things and maybe looking to write an article for some publication.

[baron555 934]

This is true but you have to spend a fair amount of time with them to properly train them. My concern is inappropriat behaviour form new boy towards my little angel.as she is very sensitive, and exploratory sexual oriented actions from an agressive young man can cause trauma for a very sensitive , emotional girl.. I would think women would more sensitive to this concern. and I have a house full of antiques that I dont want messed up before my house rules are learned..

These concerns and realities of imtermingled families are not culture specific.

Will your girl accept her new Mom? Is her real Mom in her life now? If so then your fiance can not be her new Mom.

Will her boy accept you as his Dad. Is his real Dad in his life now? Will the two children accept each other?

With all of these threads you have started lately and the fact that you have not filled out the most basic information, I am wondering if you are just trolling for things and maybe looking to write an article for some publication.

Yep and has time to write these long drawn out questions and replies but has not time to tell us the basics of his relationship and history. Very interesting indeed.

I have a prediction.

[mox 298]

With all of these threads you have started lately and the fact that you have not filled out the most basic information, I am wondering if you are just trolling for things and maybe looking to write an article for some publication.

Timelines are just eye candy, it's not going to reveal intentions. Neither will "sharing his story." But yeah...troll.

[highlander08 9]

These concerns and realities of imtermingled families are not culture specific.

Will your girl accept her new Mom? Is her real Mom in her life now? If so then your fiance can not be her new Mom.

Will her boy accept you as his Dad. Is his real Dad in his life now? Will the two children accept each other?

Yep and has time to write these long drawn out questions and replies but has not time to tell us the basics of his relationship and history. Very interesting indeed.

I have a prediction.

No I am not writing an article, if you look at all my posts you will see a reply as to my situation regarding my FSU lady

and for all of you truly wonderful people heres my latest bio on life here and hopefully it will give you an inkling as to why I decided on a FSU partner...thanks, no need to cut it up and critique it is just my story.

In 2004 spring, I left my former spouse, stayed with a friend, next day went to get money out of bank to buy gas to go to work, all bank accounts empty. My ex played most of the tricks they have in the book written explicitly for women that men do not seem to be able to locate. Which left me unable to even pay rent in an efficiency apartment, had to move in with my widowed mother, at that time I was still in the union on lay off. She was taking most of my income,for child and spousal support, based on having worked about a month worth of overtime 7/12 hour days, county contacted my employer to verify income so they were taking money from me based on this and not my unemployment checks. Very nasty divorce, including false allegations about inappropriate physical behavior with my daughter, she reported me to state police and children and youth services, with these allegations in an attempt to keep me out of my daughters life, because I did not honor my wedding vows.. with plans on moving out of the area. Thankfully the good Lord was watching over me and all the authorities involved did a very thorough investigation of her allegations including extensive interviews with my daughter, bottom line I now have primary custody.After paying union dues at $42 a month and no work in the union for quite a while, in 2006 I started my own business as an electrician and home improvement contractor. In 2007 I gave my escort wagon to my helper and purchased a continental, 2008 at purchased a camper, started saving. in 2010 I purchased a house 2100 sq ft. -11 rooms on one acre of land, in 2011 went on two small vacations, purchased navigator as the Continental was not much good in the winters up here, and I needed a four-wheel drive vehicle. This is more a farming area. for beef, dairy, etc... mostly wooded but also open fields. There are two gas stations with convenience stores for everyday items such as milk, bread and some basic groceries. There are two automobile repair shops. There is one welding shop. There is a place to go and purchase metal roof materials and lumber. Most of the people here are friendly and community oriented, I am in a place of respect among most of the people that live here. The nearest city is approximately 50 to 60 miles away. In another town 7 miles away is a large hardware store, a grocery store, a furniture store and a store of home items, clothing etc. a pharmacy, bank, Restaurants etc. I have spent most of my life doing construction work, I have seven years on the job training and apprenticeship ( night school 3 nights each week every winter from september until early june, While working every day with a journeyman Electrician for on the job training ). At first I worked for a small company for 4 years then, Joined the Electricians union in order to advance in my career and income, In order to join the union I had to agree to 3 more years apprenticeship and night school. Ultimately this advanced me to double my wages from the first company. in just three years to aprox 50 k year. I was unable to attend a university for a degree as my parents could not afford it. So with hard work and dedication I have accomplished a comfortable life, not wealthy but able to provide for my family and able to take time off when I want for school functions or when my daughter is sick,etc.... I also have experience in doing plumbing work. And have worked as a carpenter for many years before my training as an Electrician. my father had passed away many years before ( 1989 ) and all my vacations were to come up here and help my mother with maintenance on her home as with her pension income she could not afford to pay someone to do the work. It is an older house that is in constant need of repair.

I live on my own, I am now doing my best to work, take care of my little angel, and try to find time to do repair work on the house I live in, as it is an older house built in the late 1800s, and the previous owners did as little work as possible to maintain the house. So it needs remodeling but it is a good solid built house. It is located on the back street next to the woods, there is a neighbor on one side and woods on the other side. With enough property to have a nice yard and an area to have a garden, plant fruit trees, and some woods around the edge. I have only one sister who is three years older than me, We Argued as children but now are close friends.

My daughter and I are good friends. I look forward to and enjoy her company , and I do as much as I can with her in order to be a good father. I am making every effort to raise her as a good decent person with traditional morals and values. Her mother however does not see the reason to do this as she prefers to try and buy her affection through candy, pastries, ice cream etc. and doesn't seem to have too many rules for her to live by. I went through a lot of heartache and pain in the legal custody dispute, but in the end it was worth it because I get to enjoy quality time with my daughter and be there for her as a father. I make time for her as much as I can, we enjoy camping and fishing together and going to the fairs, seeing the fireworks on the 4th of july each year, walking in the woods, playing board games like chess, checkers, monopoly, etc.. we also like to watch television together, and I help her with schoolwork as often as possible. With my own house I have the household activities, cleaning, cooking. laundry, ect... which takes from the time I can enjoy with her. But I make time just for us. Her Mother lives aprox. 25 from here. Basically just after the initial attraction she accidentally became pregnant { which I later discovered was on purpose to try to keep me }, :bonk: I married her as it was the proper thing to do :bonk: . then we discovered we were not compatable and drifted apart. But I look at it as a positive learning experience and am very grateful to have my daughter in my life as a result. She goes to her mother's on opposite weekends from Friday at 6 PM until Monday morning when her mother takes her to school, then she comes home to my mothers house on the school bus after school. I pick her up when I get home from work. Usually around 6 PM. She also goes to her mothers on opposite holidays. = with me on Christmas and her mother on New Years Day for example.. She is a very bright child, is in her third year of school, doing very well with her learning, she is above average in her reading level. When she was little I would read bedtime stories every night. I still do sometimes. I am very proud of her. She is quiet and shy and very sensitive and has taught me a lot about love, patience and caring. I love her with all my heart, and I do spoil her maybe a little more than I should .

[mox 298]

Holy ####### wall-of-text. tl;dr

[highlander08 9]

With all of these threads you have started lately and the fact that you have not filled out the most basic information, I am wondering if you are just trolling for things and maybe looking to write an article for some publication.

We are still communicating exclusively via e-mail getting better aquainted, I have not filed yet as we have not met in person yet .thats why the questions as I do not want to screw things up with her... I am not involved with the other websites as many are putting down FSU women based on thier bad experiences, due to ignorance and listening to other lonely hearts who were unsucessful, based in whole or in part upon taking advice from those other websites...I do my best to be a winner not a quitter as winners never quit and quitters never win.. therefore I am seeking advice from winners who have been there done that. and are happily married.

Again I thank you all for your advice and counsil in the past and the future. I have gained a lot of respect for you guys as good people as you are positive and know how to get what you want in life.Like the FSU hotties.....

[james&olya 1,121]

My experience. My 14 y/o step-son has been very respectful, very hard-working and well behaved. He is immediately getting straight A's in 9th grade, having before only completed grade 7 in Russia. He is getting these A's without any special considerations, no 'English as a 2nd language' etc. He takes regular 9th grade english and knows grammar better than his American classmates, is taking 11th grade math, etc. He gets along well with his 16, 17, and 18 y/o step-brothers. He was quite surprised to find out that it was accepted to dress in blue jeans and t-shirts for school here. There, he always wore suit and tie!

My 3 y/o step-daughter is the smartest and cutest toddler everywhere she goes. Could I be biased? Probably!!

Will your experience be the same? Like the new car ads discussing expected fuel economy, 'your mileage may vary'!