Deportation

[OneLove313 0]

You said "she doesn't want to go" and you have also said she said "she wants to go home". It seems you are not sure what she wants.

My advice would be to:

1)a)File for divorce and inform her of this fact.

or

1)b)Try counselling again and let her know things need to be fixed or you do not feel you can continue in this unhappy union.

2) Give her options ie/ does she want to go home or stay and make her own way here if you do get divorced( I would not back her into a corner and tell her you are buying her a ticket back, otherwise she might make things harder for you); does she want to work on things.

I cannot believe that if you love someone or had loved them previously that you would intentionally want to hurt them, even if your marriage does dissolve, I am sure it is better to dissolve it amicably and it will probably save you from heartache/ stress/ financial loss late.

IF you both entered in to the marriage in good faith then you cannot have her "deported" . Actually YOU can never have her deported, you can only report the marriage as fraudulent AND doing things like this/ saying those things to her as threats may encourage her to do the same thing, try to hurt you, she might file VAWA , report you to police etc etc and it could get messy. You cannot have someone deported because they don't "treat you nice".

You obviously did not read what I said. I didnt say because she is not nice. There is physical and emotional abuse and I have evidence of it. I only said that she told me she wants to go home and that I think she doesn't because I know she tricked me into believing she loved me. I have every right to get her deported since she fooled me with lies as we knew each other almost for 2 years before she got here. When she got here she changed, when we got married, as I said before, she didn't follow any of the vows that she gave, nor did she listen to the minister that was also a Filipina and a therapist that had wise advice for us. I am not sure what she wants, only God knows but I know she fooled me and abused me multiple times. Everyday emotionally and I do not argue back with her. You need to learn how to read what is written instead of reading what you think in your head. No intended Offense, just advice.

Well if God wants her Deported then I am sure God will have her Deported.

Meanwhile it looks like she is staying and you need to cough up for a Divorce Lawyer.

TRUE

[OneLove313 0]

Why are we supporting physical/emotional abuse on a man, one that has kept his word to his wife and filed AOS, if it were the other way round we would be saying go for the VAWA thing. He kept his promise to her, to bring her to the US as his wife, to take care of her and to help her through the AOS process. She, it seems, made a promise to him, which she lied about, a lie, which to some of us, may not be a big deal, but it seems it is to him. Yes I understand there are two sides to every story, but we need to leave our personal judgement out of this and offer the same advice to him as we would to anyone else.

On a side note, OP you have been given some very good advice from people on here, but only you can decide what to do and how you play this out, think carefully about your next move, this is your life be careful.

Thank you both. The thing is about 2 sides, I dont even know her side because she is a compulsive liar and it is a big deal to lie to someone about converting and about anything just to get a green card and hurt somebody's heart and emotional and physical abuse. If it was a women then I would tell her also to go to VAWA if I knew what it was before.

I agree, I don't need anyone to judge me, it helps nobody, I came here for help. Only God can judge me. I have gotten a lot of good advice and that is what I and others need.

[OneLove313 0]

Yeah, and he asked her to convert to another religion and leave Jesus out of her life for good.

Pretty fair, no?

What's wrong with you? I never said to leave Jesus out of her life, nor did I force my religion onto her. She accepted it before she came here and then betrayed me.

[OneLove313 0]

So sad to know about your Fiipina wife... i am a Filipina and married to a godly man. We are having a little taste of heaven on earth in our marriage.. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the Biblical role of man and woman in marriage. I hope and pray you can work things out. I believe real change comes from Jesus and no one can change your wife except when she has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Seek godly advices.. God bless your marriage.

Thanks for your concern and I happy that you two are happy, but this post is not about religion, it is about her fooling me into marriage and lying to me that she would convert. I believe in Jesus, but he is not God, he is a messenger. Read the original Bible and you will see that it says that Jesus was trying to spread Monotheism to believe in his God, the only God. Jesus was one of his many messengers. I dont want to discuss religion anymore, but I just felt that it's my duty to at least let you know the truth is out there.

[OneLove313 0]

Like a couple of you here I am trying to look at both sides of the story... By what you wrote I am sensing that it was more like a personality/religion issue instead of her just USING you for immigration... Why all the hate?? Just be the bigger person, do not threaten her with deportation... Just be civil, if you can, withdraw the affidavit of support, send her back home and wish her the best. You mentioned that she already said she wanted to go back home. After all, this is a person you once loved deeply. If she is using you, then karma will take care of it.

Just my 2 cents here; as the beneficiary I can relate to your wife in the fact that she moved and left everything behind to be with you, don't use fear or threats. That is not playing fair. If she in fact used you, why didn't she wait until she received her green card?

Good luck.

You can't see both side of the story because she is not on here. Your senses are way off. There is no hate. It's not just about religion, it's about her lying to me just so she can get here. I thought I loved her but you can't love someone that is a lie. She didnt leave anything, she had nothing in the PI, no family and a boss at work that physically abused her,she told me, but after she came here she denied it. She is a liar. I sent her money to go to her hometown to be safe and not work and just take it easy and that's why she lied about being hit. And if she left anything it was a bf back in the PI and it was so she can get here and she needs to go back. Actually she should pay me back for everything I spent, but that would be if she was a good person.

[OneLove313 0]

hmm sounds sad, but in one relationship both side always make it look like they are the one who's right and the other one is wrong, i don't want to judge the girl without hearing her own story ofcourse or not knowing the whole story, from how i read it, this is all about the "RELIGION" if i am right, look like it's unreasonable to put the "divorce", "deportation" or what so ever on the table without fixing it??? does it enough reason so give up on one relationship just because one thing didn't work??? can't both parties think that there is so many good thing, good side that both of you done to each other, cant both of you give it a try to fix that relationship and save it .. rather than.. following what they advise here since .. we're all not sure if she really used that guy for green card. Always remember that there's two side of story. I'm not saying that this story is wrong but .. the story is favored to him and if the girl put her own side here it'll be favored to her too, so all i can say it try to work it out, give it a chance .. think about all the good things that both of u done to each other than this one "lie" that you are talking about, but at the end of the day .. it's all up to u .. choose what makes you happy.

You are incorrect, you must not have read this thread correctly, this is not about religion and it's not about anybodys judgement, you are no therapist or judge. You made a useless comment. I need advice and it's not just for me, it's for others who have the same issue. We shouldn't be used! I know all Filipinas are not bad but most are that come here. That is a proven fact, that most Filipinas use men in western civilization and it's wrong so she is wrong. Nobody asked you to judge my wife or me or anyone. I only asked for advice in my situation. You don't know the story is true or not and it's not the point. The point is that I and others need to know what to do in this situation. EVERYBODY STOP JUDGING, I'm tired of reading pointless comments and getting them removed. It's a waste of time. If you are not here to help those in need then be gone!

[Karee 4,189]

You are incorrect, you must not have read this thread correctly, this is not about religion and it's not about anybodys judgement, you are no therapist or judge. You made a useless comment. I need advice and it's not just for me, it's for others who have the same issue. We shouldn't be used! I know all Filipinas are not bad but most are that come here. That is a proven fact, that most Filipinas use men in western civilization and it's wrong so she is wrong. Nobody asked you to judge my wife or me or anyone. I only asked for advice in my situation. You don't know the story is true or not and it's not the point. The point is that I and others need to know what to do in this situation. EVERYBODY STOP JUDGING, I'm tired of reading pointless comments and getting them removed. It's a waste of time. If you are not here to help those in need then be gone!

Be prepared to hear about bolded above.

[Ban Hammer 12,876]

this thread seems to have run it's course. it's now closed for various tos violations and multiple reports.

do not restart this thread.