he cheated, i want out

[solonow 0]

our entire relationship is built on lies, he is a master deceiver, a mega cheater and/or i am just naive...whatever the case...i just cant go through this. i need to end it before its too late. how?

i always suspected, i had reason too but mostly i just had a gut feeling. i would ask him and we would fight and finally, i know the absolute truth. even with evidence he denies it all...

i dont need sympathy, i need advice. i need to know hwo to end this with teh shred of dignity i have left...ok, now im a liar, my dignity is long time gone.

Ive never ended a relationship, in fact, ive never had a relationship. ive always been very cautious...now what?

advice?

[msheesha 548]

If your timeline is accurate, cancel the petition. It's extremely easy to get out at this point, since it's pre- interview.

Edited March 5, 2012 by msheesha

[msheesha 548]

Tons of info here on VJ about how to cancel a petition. Just search it, and a bunch of info comes up. Sorry that you're experiencing this, but on the bright side, it's early enough in the process that you don't have to deal with him being here, etc. Good luck.

Edited March 5, 2012 by msheesha

[solonow 0]

If your timeline is accurate, cancel the petition. It's extremely easy to get out at this point, since it's pre- interview.

will he be notified that i terminated teh petition?

Ive been trying very hard to be forgiving and walking around with a smile on my face. he has no idea i want out. at this point i can easily ignore his calls and emails, but i want him to know i quit. not because im cruel, but because...actually i dont know. i sound like a nut...geez

Tons of info here on VJ about how to cancel a petition. Just search it, and a bunch of info comes up. Sorry that you're experiencing this, but on the bright side, it's early enough in the process that you don't have to deal with him being here, etc. Good luck.

yes i know how to cancel the petition. i am asking for personal advice on how to end this. im ata complete loss...email? text? just ignore him?

[together4evr 360]

I am sorry. I know you must be in pain.

Do not do anything right now...

Give yorself a few days to make sure

You can cancel his visa before the interview

You need time to think things through.

You will get over this. Do not ever sell yourself short. You deserve a good man and there are many out there that would treat you like a queen and respect you.

Just make sure that you are sure your relationship is over before you stop the 129.

Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we end up forgiving each other in a few weeks.

So wait a little until you are absolutely sure it has ended.

Good Luck

[msheesha 548]

I don't know how he is informed of a cancelled petition, or if he is just not contacted for interview. Hopefully, other people have the answer to that. If you don't want to face him via a phone call, email or text him after you've cancelled the petition if you feel the need to provide him with info about why you cancelled the petition.

[solonow 0]

lol, he cheated at least 6 times that i knwo of with 6 differnt women, one of them even married. i have no choice. i cant be looking over my shoulder and pretending everything is fine for teh rest of my life while he is always looking fo rteh next pretty gal to entertain him...i dont really have a choice here....thsi has been going on for over a year...

[together4evr 360]

I always believe in treating others the way I would want to be treated so even if he had no respect or love

then call him and let him know you are not ready for this type of committment

If he really loves you then he will wait till you are ready and if he is just a user then he will find another one soon

[Mithra 1,185]

Well aside from cancelling the petition, I would just cut all contact. If he's still in Egypt that should be very easy to do. If you have to change your phone number, do it.

[aaron2020 11,651]

lol, he cheated at least 6 times that i knwo of with 6 differnt women, one of them even married. i have no choice. i cant be looking over my shoulder and pretending everything is fine for teh rest of my life while he is always looking fo rteh next pretty gal to entertain him...i dont really have a choice here....thsi has been going on for over a year...

It's easy. Write him an e-mail with why you are ending the relationship; he's a cheater and you will no longer tolerate being treated this way, therefore you are done with him in your life, you will be stopping the petition since you have no intent to marry him, and you want him to leave you alone. Sincerely, you don't even owe him an explanation; just he cheated, he screwed up this relationship, and it's over.

Lots of people have been cheated on. Easier to get rid of a cheating fiancee than a cheating husband.

[msheesha 548]

will he be notified that i terminated teh petition?

Ive been trying very hard to be forgiving and walking around with a smile on my face. he has no idea i want out. at this point i can easily ignore his calls and emails, but i want him to know i quit. not because im cruel, but because...actually i dont know. i sound like a nut...geez

yes i know how to cancel the petition. i am asking for personal advice on how to end this. im ata complete loss...email? text? just ignore him?

Didn't realize you were asking about ending it from personal perspective and not visa perspective. From your description it sounds like he's much more experienced in relationships than you are, and much more experienced in lying, cheating, and manipulating than you are. Given that he's already lied and cheated and you have proof, I would end it in the way that feels best for you, and in a way in which he can not manipulate you any further. Good luck with everything.

[msheesha 548]

Well aside from cancelling the petition, I would just cut all contact. If he's still in Egypt that should be very easy to do. If you have to change your phone number, do it.

Agree. It sounds like a mis-match in terms of experience and manipulation ability. Don't let him lie and cheat again. If that takes cutting off all contact, do it; it's easy at this point.

[msheesha 548]

I am sorry. I know you must be in pain.

Do not do anything right now...

Give yorself a few days to make sure

You can cancel his visa before the interview

You need time to think things through.

You will get over this. Do not ever sell yourself short. You deserve a good man and there are many out there that would treat you like a queen and respect you.

Just make sure that you are sure your relationship is over before you stop the 129.

Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we end up forgiving each other in a few weeks.

So wait a little until you are absolutely sure it has ended.

Good Luck

This seems like a contradictory response to me - "Don't sell yourself short", but also make sure you don't want the guy that cheated on you with at least 6 different women. Stopping to think about whether you should make a life long comittment to a serial cheater IS selling yourself short!!!

[together4evr 360]

This seems like a contradictory response to me - "Don't sell yourself short", but also make sure you don't want the guy that cheated on you with at least 6 different women. Stopping to think about whether you should make a life long comittment to a serial cheater IS selling yourself short!!!

You should know that I posted my response before I seen her statement.

I was thinking she was assuming he was cheating.

And now that I have a clearer picture of his behavior.... and her personality.... I believe she should avoid any contact with him because if he has done this repeatedly to her then she might allow him back into her life.

[Enigma11561 336]

National Customer Service Center (NCSC): 1-800-375-5283

He has not yet had his interview. If you are sure you want to do this, call this number and tell them you want to cancel the petition ( have all your info ready), cancel any affidavit of support you may have signed and you want to terminate the process. I do not know if they will notify him directly, but he will not get the packet 3 ( if this applies to his country) and therefore no interview date.

Also take a deep breathe. Cheating even one time is enough to dump this jerk. You don't need this in your life and a leopard does not change its stripes. Understand? If after you have taken care of business then you can decide how and even if you want to send the "Dear John" letter to him. Or just leave him hanging. Your choice. Try and put this behind you and I wish you good luck.