My Fiancee Is Losing It

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Hello,

After the Immigration Attorney I am using put fear in our minds, from the beginning, my Fiancee is losing it and saying crazy things now.

Our marriage could fall apart because she is paralized with fear at this time.

My Fiancee keeps making up excuses to avoid the interview. She is testing my patience.

The Immigration Attorney I am using told us that there is an "English Test" that my Fiancee must take and pass. I later found out on this forum that this was bogus.

But now my Fiancee is convinced that she must pass this bogus "English Test". What foreigner can learn English and pass a test on it in one year?

My Fiancee has also been conditioned to believe that getting an American Visa is the most difficult thing in the world.

Her fears are sabotaging all my efforts made to this day.

Anyone know how I can convince her that there is no English test required and that many women from China pass the interview without any problems each year?

Any statistics about this?

notmuch88tosay

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from K1 Process & Procedures to China regional forum.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

She doesn't know any other people from China that has been through this process? I know there are Chinese Nationals on this forum, maybe they can help.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks for the reply, Ron & Diana,

Maybe she does, but then again, maybe it is the stories they tell her that has her terrified. I don't know.

People don't always have the best of intentions, when it comes to you having more happiness, more success, a spouse, etc. Especially if they don't have any of that.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[Ron and Rhea 42]

I understand that, (jealousy)...but I mean Chinese that have already been in the process or done interview? I know of several members on here that are from China, surely they can help.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks Ron & Diana,

I appreciate your encouragement.

After I lift myself out of my depression, maybe I can chat with some of them. I do like the Chinese people I met in China very much. They were kind and helpful.

Where would I find them here, what would I ask them, how would I get their help regarding my situation?

notmuch88tosay

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Well I mean I am going by the flags we have by our names..I've seen Chinese ones on here....in the regional discussions there are lots of Chinese Nationals...I'd just tell them what you have shared. I think maybe a moderator has already transferred your thread to the Chinese Regional forum...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/94-china/

Edited February 8, 2012 by Ron & Diana

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks Ron & Diana,

I appreciate your help.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[floridadave 195]

They have consular officers proficient in the native language. My wife's interviewer was so proficient with Mandarin that she jokingly ask the VO to teach me Chinese.

Anyway, if you still have concerns, you can query the Guangzhou staff directly: Ask a Consular Officer

You can let your fiancee know what their reply to you was. Really, nothing to worry about.

GOOD LUCK!

[Kiv 32]

Maybe your lawyer is not very good or maybe she is confused. Do you speak her languaje?

First you have to apply for the k1 Visa

she does not need to know english to do this, if required she can have a translator in her interview.

After that she can travel here and get married,

After married you will process an Adjustment Of Status there will be an interview,

she does not need to know english she can use a translator.

2 years after receive residence card she will process Removal Of Conditions, there is a very small chance to have another interview,

still she does not need to speak english she can use a translator.

one more year (3 after she gets her first Residence card ) she can (if she wants) apply for Naturalization,

there will be an interview and that is when she needs to know English.

When I had my interview my english exam was to write "Today I will go to the store"

So she has at least 3 years to learn english and only if she wants to be a citizen.

Read more on this forum... you may even find that you do not need a lawyer but that depends on all the aspects of your case.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello,

After the Immigration Attorney I am using put fear in our minds, from the beginning, my Fiancee is losing it and saying crazy things now.

Our marriage could fall apart because she is paralized with fear at this time.

My Fiancee keeps making up excuses to avoid the interview. She is testing my patience.

The Immigration Attorney I am using told us that there is an "English Test" that my Fiancee must take and pass. I later found out on this forum that this was bogus.

But now my Fiancee is convinced that she must pass this bogus "English Test". What foreigner can learn English and pass a test on it in one year?

My Fiancee has also been conditioned to believe that getting an American Visa is the most difficult thing in the world.

Her fears are sabotaging all my efforts made to this day.

Anyone know how I can convince her that there is no English test required and that many women from China pass the interview without any problems each year?

Any statistics about this?

notmuch88tosay

Not sure if it is any consolation but my wife heard the same things in Ukraine. We did not use an attorney so we did not pay for any bad information, but she heard plenty on her own.

There is no English test.

Getting a tourist visa in many countries, including Ukraine, is extemely difficult. Getting a fiancee visa is another story entirely. She is probably hearing about tourist visas from people that do not know there is a difference.

As it was I went to the interview with Alla (Kiev allows this) and basically held her upright through out. They called her to the wondow, asked no questions and said "your visa is approved..." we wentr ouside and she said "We worried for THAT????" What you mean "we" Kemosabe?

there are few hundred people here with direct experience with the Chinese consulate. She is scared becasue she is uninformed and imagines the worst. You have to be "her man" now. If she sees YOU get worried or upset, it is all over. I would consider it a compliment that her biggest fearis that she will be denied being with YOU. Help her out.

STAY away from people who are not knowledgable of the K-1 process and STAY away from people who stand to gain monetarily by scaring you.

Edited February 9, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Wally G! 58]

You could have her read the China Consulate Interview reviews on VJ

http://www.visajourney.com/reviews/index.php?trim=no&cty=&cnty=China&page=1&dfilter=5

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks floridadave.

Thanks Kiv,

Yes, I don't trust my lawyer much at all now after she said a couple of other things that blew my mind. And she is a high pressure freak. But she is already paid in full.

Thanks Gary and Alla,

I appreciate the info. Yes, I have always remained positive, optimistic and not worried when chatting with her, but for some reason, she shifts into panic mode often. Maybe it's the people around her and what she hears from them.

Thanks Wally Greene,

I appreciate the link very much. I took a screenshot of those Consulate Ratings. I think that will really help.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[Azzudiin 26]

I am sure your wife has QQ, almost every Chinese person I know uses it. Have her search for women from her city who are now in the United States.

There is one huge QQ chat I am aware of that has women from all over the US that immigrated from China and have all been through the process. My wife has it on often, last time I looked there was over 300 people in the chat at any given time.

There is also a ton of localized QQ's, I know my wife talks often to other women from Chongqing, and we have even been to parties that are generated from these women meeting each other on these QQ chats.

Its a great support system for them when they come here, they can discuss issues of the difficulty and culture shock of moving and also their experiences in the immigration process.

If you have not learned already, you will learn soon enough. If you say the sky is blue, she will believe you. But the moment another Chinese woman tells your wife the sky is Purple you will forever be wrong.

Get her on QQ, get her chatting to these women that have been through the process and keep her off OO1 website. She will get her confidence back quickly and you will be back on smooth sailing.

Developing a network of friends for her before she even arrives here will increase your chance of success 1000%.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks so much Azzudiin,

That's a great idea.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay