Prenuptial Agreements II CautionNot for the Idealistic)

[figsybigsy 0]

I would like to get peoples ideas on prenuptial agreements with foriegn spouses. Has anyone discussed this with their fiancee? Also, is it such a crazy idea?

[Chuckles 0]

I would like to get peoples ideas on prenuptial agreements with foriegn spouses. Has anyone discussed this with their fiancee? Also, is it such a crazy idea?

I don't think its a crazy idea at all. Do what feels right for you. I suppose all situations can be different.

[dxt7339 1]

I do not think it is a crazy idea. I have been through a divorce in South Carolina and this state is the worst in the USA for divorce for a man with just a reasonable amount of assets. I have to pay for my ex to sit on her ### and do nothing while she has about $1 million in assets and I still have to pay her $710 a month in alimony. I must work to pay this alimony and to pay her half of all the assets that I contributed much more than 50%. It is a crime. The State of South Carolina thinks women are stupid and can not be accountable for themselfs. Very ancient thinking and laws. But it keeps the lawyers in a very good standard of living.

I would liike to have a prenup but I also do not want to turn off my fiance in the process. It is a delicate matter.

[Minfay 0]

It's such a personal thing. I have thought long and hard about it and have decided against it. I have talked to a few attorneys and they both told me that even with a prenup I could still run into trouble if I was the one who got him an attorney.....or my attorney got him an attorney.....or I had one of my friends or family get him an attorney.

I'm gonna throw "caution to the wind" and get married without it and hopefully live happily ever after.....and if it all blows up in my face, I'll be the one paying for it later

[slim 1,514]

Starting this up again figsy? (Good luck getting straight answers!!!)

I said it before, and I'll say it once more..... CYA!!!

You have business interests and assets that you stand (and your partners too potentially) to lose should "love not conquer all." And let's be real, sometimes that happens. Everyone here on VJ is so blissfully in love that they forget sometimes folks do get divorced, and in the US, divorce means getting your pants pulled down financially. Don't let that happen. You've had several threads on this issue, so that tells me you really want one and know you should get one. You don't need us on here to make you feel better about it by agreeing with you, cause know what, if you get divorced and get back on here like "Divorce sucks, didn't get a prenup so the ex-wife took all my money!" We'd all be the first ones to agree with you. If you know you need one..... GET IT!!!

[neiks 19]

We did one up and could not be happier... now. But what getting it down was a huge test of our relationship and resulted in the biggest argument yet. After dealing with 3 lawyers it got pretty ugly.... now I know why divorces get really ugly. My husband consulted with his lawyer, I first consulted with a Canadian lawyer and then was advised by him to consult with an American lawyer. So had to see an American one also. My suggestion is for both of you to sit down and make a list of what is important and what you both want out of the prenup and make sure that all the lawyers are clear with your wishes because when you get in their office for a consult they will turn into blood suckers. I felt so stupid and like my husband was out to screw me by the time I had left the first lawyers office.

But now it's done and we are very happy that we don't have to think about it - until we start to draft our wills - which should be another great experience at the lawyers office.

[slim 1,514]

Lawyers are so helpful!

Helpful to take your money!!!

[eclowjpd 0]

If you are bringing a K1 fiance or K3 spouse immigrant to the U.S. I strongly recommend that you do not dismiss the idea of a prenup, if you own a home, have other assets, and most definitely if you have heirs.

I learned the hard way. I brought my wife to the US. Before we married she assured me that she would not want anything financially if things did not work out. She even said that she would return to her country. However when the marriage did not work she expected part of the value of my house, part of my retirement, part of my investments etc. In my state assets aquired before the marriage remain with that spouse, so I was protected. However, coming from a country that is not litigeous, and not trusting her own "American" lawyer, and a fair amount of greed or whatever, $8000 was spent by me in legal fees before she understood that she was not going to get any of these assets. She got a car that we purchased and she gets maintenances for awhile because her income is lower than mine. And this was maintenance that I was prepared to give her if we kept lawyers out of it. All of this on a marriage that did not even last 2 years.

With a prenup, all of this could have been worked out ahead of time and my non-retirement investments could have been protected, with a few hundred dollars spent on a prenup.

Romance, love... all fine. But marriage is a contract, subject to division of assets. Why not protect both parties.

With my fiance, we will have a pre nup that will also protect her. If things go south, she will know that she will have maintenance, moving expense etc, and predetermined divison of assets that will be fair based upon how long we are together. After several years the prenup will go away.

I am crazy about my fiance, but I am realistic.

Bill

[timelena 0]

Just a question:

How do you discuss this issue with a fiance/fiancee whose English is not perfect? Since it's really hard to understand what is written in a contract.

[Nessa 23]

Just a question:

How do you discuss this issue with a fiance/fiancee whose English is not perfect? Since it's really hard to understand what is written in a contract.

get the help of an interpreter. Easy.

[workin4somethin 0]

Just a question:

How do you discuss this issue with a fiance/fiancee whose English is not perfect? Since it's really hard to understand what is written in a contract.

They understand "prenuptial agreements" in Russia too!

I think that if anyone is thinking very much about getting a prenuptial agreement, then they should get one. Do what you think is right.

Maybe one person does not really understand why their mate would want to have a prenuptial agreement. Well... help educate him or her on the matter. By the way, it is for protection. Marital bliss simply does not continue for everyone. And if you are truly soul mates, the act of signing a prenuptial agreement should be no problem.

I admit I did not think much at all about a prenuptial agreement, and yet I have assets that could be lost in the event of a divorce. However, for me such a contract would not be comfortable. I live my life with strong convictions; and, idealistically, everything I do, I do for us.

[John24689 0]

If you decide on a Pre-nup, you may want to have it prepared in the US. Then, send it to your fiancee and have them get it translated and certified. They should then get their own lawyer to explain it to them what it contains along with someone with a video camera taping the discussion. If they understands it and agrees to it and signs it, then you may have a solid Pre-nup agreement. They could not argue that they did not understand or you made her sign it.

Just my thoughts. Good luck in your decision.

[Turboguy 6]

If you decide on a Pre-nup, you may want to have it prepared in the US. Then, send it to your fiancee and have them get it translated and certified. They should then get their own lawyer to explain it to them what it contains along with someone with a video camera taping the discussion. If they understands it and agrees to it and signs it, then you may have a solid Pre-nup agreement. They could not argue that they did not understand or you made her sign it.

Just my thoughts. Good luck in your decision.

As I am underdstaning your suggestion John, you are saying have it explained to her and signed in Russia? If that is what you mean they could come back on you because the party in Russia would not have been familer with US laws.

One of the thoughts I had was to discuss the need for a pre-nup in e-mails before you start the K-1 process. That would eliminate the duress arguement. You could keep a copy of the e-mails and that way she would have come to America aware and having agreed in prinicpal to a pre-nup.

There is a really good book you can get on Amazon. The title of it is "write your own pre-nup" I am not suggesting you write your own but a lot of the lawyers don't know didly about one and you can go in with a fair amount of expertise and make sure all the bases are covered.

You do need to have a lawyer for her and a good translator so she understands what is going on.

[slim 1,514]

I think my pre-nup is going to work out the best....

"You can have half of my debt!"

And, since I have no assets, half of nothing is still nothing. Now what girl isn't going to want to marry me?

[timelena 0]

If you decide on a Pre-nup, you may want to have it prepared in the US. Then, send it to your fiancee and have them get it translated and certified. They should then get their own lawyer to explain it to them what it contains along with someone with a video camera taping the discussion. If they understands it and agrees to it and signs it, then you may have a solid Pre-nup agreement. They could not argue that they did not understand or you made her sign it.

I like that part with camera!

Edited June 3, 2006 by timelena