nat geo

[Tanya and Barry 59]

M is the wife.

I know. I was speaking for myself and other husbands when I said "your wife." Sorry I wasn't clearer. We've been hanging kitchen cabinets all day. Now that will test a marriage...

[Ban Hammer 12,840]

NESSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come here, quick!

shhhh. don't tell!

[UK_Fan 192]

My wife talked about watching Santa Barbara when she was a teenager and longing for a beach house in America with nice cars, fashionable people and a wonderful life.

Reality hit her hard when she got here and was forced to live in a 1bdr apt in a working class town. She's still pretty upset over it.

ha i remember Santa Barbara.. poeple always made jokes about it back in Russia.. another one was something about Sunset beach.. same thing.. beach houses and no working, but a life full of love drama..

came here and right off the airplane, can barely breathe cause the air is too heavy, on the way from the airport saw a bunch of rusty trucks and trailer homes on the side of the road, got here and you gotta drive to a rinky-dink mall.. yeah.. reality hits you hard and fast...

but i still wouldn't trade it for anything ahah... i love my "old kentucky home" lol

[UK_Fan 192]

A very thoughtful post, M. It doesn't take long to find out why your wife married you when some of these realities hit home...

definitely.. that's why i was kinda turned off by that whole Nat Geo special.. the woman that came here, never been here before and like i said, they didn't even really love each other and it might be a K-1 visa wasted ahah.. after she realizes what's up.

wouldn't it be something, if that guy is a forum member? ooppsie

[Tanya and Barry 59]

definitely.. that's why i was kinda turned off by that whole Nat Geo special.. the woman that came here, never been here before and like i said, they didn't even really love each other and it might be a K-1 visa wasted ahah.. after she realizes what's up.

wouldn't it be something, if that guy is a forum member? ooppsie

It would be interesting to know the percentage of RUB women who return home in the first 90 days.

[UK_Fan 192]

It would be interesting to know the percentage of RUB women who return home in the first 90 days.

i don't know about RUB, but seems like more phillipinas do either that, or run away before they get adjusted.

also, no offence to anyone and i don't mean to be rude, but seems like RUB are not really that popular of mail-order brides as phillipinas... look at this forum, there are like 5 to 1 ratio phillipinas to RUB women.. so i think they need to lay off RUB and focus on women from that part of the world.. they have overtaken the market lol.

again, don't mean to offend any phillipinas or their husbands... to each their own

[ONA 133]

It would be interesting to know the percentage of RUB women who return home in the first 90 days.

More, than you might think.

[rlogan 2,036]

From Visaveteran1

it's about sex for immigration

Mixed immigration couples are often attacked by maliciously manipulative people out of envy, jealousy and spite - and this is the most laughable attack, relying on the stupidity of the claim you cannot love someone who improves your life.

Look how he brought her out of poverty, disease, malnutrition, and a culture of misogyny. She cannot possibly love him! She should hate him! My God, look how her children will have good educations and opportunity now instead of misery - she should love someone who drags her down even further and provides a life of pain and misery for her children! That would be real love!

What manipulative people are trying to insinuate is that your wife is a prostitute, and you the john. Couples get defensive about it because they know exactly what is being said. When you say "sex for green card", that makes it sound like a one-time prostitution transaction of instead of the exact opposite: a lifelong committment for better or worse, in sickness and in health, raising a family, etc. A life of sex with someone you don't love is an awful misery, and the manipulative people are hoping to cash in on that: she can't love him, so sex must be awful.

The truth is there's no more sincere love than that from the damsel who was been rescued from her distress. There's also no better sex than that. This is Romance Novel sex. That love will furthermore branch out through her whole extended family. Millions of years' evolution dictate that the woman finds love in security for child-rearing. Some western women try to pretend they do not operate on that basis when they are already secure in it - so they are nothing more than hypocrites if they attack another woman on that basis.

The only thing to "own up to" for a man is that he is not an idiot who feels obligated to marry a fat old ungrateful hag in order to please people who suffer from jealousy and envy. Talk about stupid. What is to be ashamed of in bringing home a hot young babe that blows the doors off every other chick in the county - and treats you like the King of the Realm?

Some shows try to portray the "sex for green card" line because that is a marketing hook that will sell to the ignorati. In such a show you need to cut out everything you filmed except for the worst loser-type guy you could find and the women who couldn't speak a word of english and look like they are really repulsed by the guys. Maybe there are some approaches that have a self-selection bias, and as a result this is the pool of candidates on both sides. But it certainly is not true of mixed immigration marriages in general.

Apologize for immigrating of the Philippines forum but I like to see what is going on occasionally in the other regional fora.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I know. I was speaking for myself and other husbands when I said "your wife." Sorry I wasn't clearer. We've been hanging kitchen cabinets all day. Now that will test a marriage...

I had to remodel our kitchen before Alla moved in this house (oh so much the better for me also) When we have had large projects we protect our marriage. Alla leaves, I do the work usually with help from one or both of the boys, Alla returns when it is complete, looks around and

I wish to be clear. Alla will not paint, nor does she like to see painting being done, nor does she like to smell paint, see dirt, dust, hear loud noises from power tools, etc. If she could all her wishes would be granted by crossing her arms and blinking. She will avoid areas of the city that have work being done.

So far she has gone to Ukraine for 3-6 weeks longer than I have every year so that is when we plan big projects for. If it is a 2-3 day project she will go to Boston or New York or Montreal. Montreal is close so it is a good place togo for day long projects like painting a room.

And let me be clear that I prefer it this way, OMG yes.

Edited February 4, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

From Visaveteran1

Mixed immigration couples are often attacked by maliciously manipulative people out of envy, jealousy and spite - and this is the most laughable attack, relying on the stupidity of the claim you cannot love someone who improves your life.

Look how he brought her out of poverty, disease, malnutrition, and a culture of misogyny. She cannot possibly love him! She should hate him! My God, look how her children will have good educations and opportunity now instead of misery - she should love someone who drags her down even further and provides a life of pain and misery for her children! That would be real love!

What manipulative people are trying to insinuate is that your wife is a prostitute, and you the john. Couples get defensive about it because they know exactly what is being said. When you say "sex for green card", that makes it sound like a one-time prostitution transaction of instead of the exact opposite: a lifelong committment for better or worse, in sickness and in health, raising a family, etc. A life of sex with someone you don't love is an awful misery, and the manipulative people are hoping to cash in on that: she can't love him, so sex must be awful.

The truth is there's no more sincere love than that from the damsel who was been rescued from her distress. There's also no better sex than that. This is Romance Novel sex. That love will furthermore branch out through her whole extended family. Millions of years' evolution dictate that the woman finds love in security for child-rearing. Some western women try to pretend they do not operate on that basis when they are already secure in it - so they are nothing more than hypocrites if they attack another woman on that basis.

The only thing to "own up to" for a man is that he is not an idiot who feels obligated to marry a fat old ungrateful hag in order to please people who suffer from jealousy and envy. Talk about stupid. What is to be ashamed of in bringing home a hot young babe that blows the doors off every other chick in the county - and treats you like the King of the Realm?

Some shows try to portray the "sex for green card" line because that is a marketing hook that will sell to the ignorati. In such a show you need to cut out everything you filmed except for the worst loser-type guy you could find and the women who couldn't speak a word of english and look like they are really repulsed by the guys. Maybe there are some approaches that have a self-selection bias, and as a result this is the pool of candidates on both sides. But it certainly is not true of mixed immigration marriages in general.

Apologize for immigrating of the Philippines forum but I like to see what is going on occasionally in the other regional fora.

So the UK/Canada folks visit the PI forum also! I wondered about that.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

More, than you might think.

I have seen statistics that indicated Ukraine/American marriages to be more successful than American/American OR Ukraine/Ukraine marriages by a considerable margin. but that would not count anyone that left within 90 days and did not get married. I do not recall where I saw them or the exact numbers and cannot vouch for their validity. I think marriuage is more than just where the two people were born, which should actually have little to do with it, except RUB women are better looking of course.

But leaving within 90 days is not a bad thing either, if it is not what they expected or more so, not what they can deal with, then better to go back. Making anything of that would be silly. we certainly do not make anything of the fact that many Americans engaged to a girl next door that they have known since childhood do not go through with a marriage. If anything it would indicate those that do stay are sincere and not just trading sex for a green card.

Where that comes from I do not know. In the time I was in Ukraine I saw absolutely -0- desire on the part of anyone to have sex for a green card. The had sex without any mention of a green card. Americans far overrate themselves in the green card category I think. Actually we are just great lovers!

[Tanya and Barry 59]

Gary Said:

"Where that comes from I do not know. In the time I was in Ukraine I saw absolutely -0- desire on the part of anyone to have sex for a green card. The had sex without any mention of a green card. Americans far overrate themselves in the green card category I think. Actually we are just great lovers!"

Spot on in my experience as well. I guess I was seeing the right kind of women.

Ona said (about RUB women returning before the 90 day mark):

"More, than you might think."

For me it only mattered that one stayed.

Edited February 4, 2012 by Tanya and Barry

[visaveteran1 33]

We are all speaking for one moment in time. A few years ago I sounded the same as you guys. Aren't these Russians wonderful! Boosting now is fine but unless you've pasted the 5 year mark, it means little to me. Rave on but just don't go into denial of what's happening out in the world. The failure rate is high for all marriages.

Edited February 4, 2012 by visaveteran1

[Brad and Vika 129]

definitely.. that's why i was kinda turned off by that whole Nat Geo special.. the woman that came here, never been here before and like i said, they didn't even really love each other and it might be a K-1 visa wasted ahah.. after she realizes what's up.

wouldn't it be something, if that guy is a forum member? ooppsie

I don't think it would be the first time a relevelation like that "oopsie" happened on VJ

[mox 298]

We are all speaking for one moment in time. A few years ago I sounded the same as you guys. Aren't these Russians wonderful! Boosting now is fine but unless you've pasted the 5 year mark, it means little to me. Rave on but just don't go into denial of what's happening out in the world. The failure rate is high for all marriages.

Tai-chi, man. It'll suck all that venom right out.