maybe im an idiot

[Neonred 3,446]

And ladies, we're guys. So if we can find a version of you that's a little better looking, a little younger, and a little more willing to take care of us.... we're going to. We might not, cause after all this, we really do love you, but in the back of our minds, the grass is always greener.

This is just human nature. We can't help but think things like this.... at first. But then, our minds and hearts and emotions and everything else takes over and if we're lucky, we find the one that's just right for us. Or, we concede and decide "That's it. There's no way I'm going to trade up from this one. Better take this deal while it's still on the table."

sorry slim ... that's not human nature, although it's nice to finally see a man confront, openly admit and share his massive feelings of insecurity.

Women just hate to hear the truth....

[Cam 0]

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.

She "chose" you, and is coming here to marry you.

Slim, how do you make this connection? As far as I see it, he claims she is her fiancee. He picked her out and came to visit her. He has posted no timeline nor has stated he is doing the K1 paperwork. For all we know she has used him for a free good time in Russia and a free laptop.

Once again I applaud the Russian lady for taking advantage of the gullible American who has all the advantages to begin with. Now with a laptop in hand she can find the man that better satisfies her needs. I see this lady similar to Cam. If he can meet 3 ladies at once, then this lady can invite 3 men at once. All fair game when you are shopping.

I came to that conclusion because he said "my fiancee." That to me means that they are engaged to be married, or at least after selecting which girl he liked best from the website, and her subsequent "I do" which is most likely a "I guess I'll go ahead and say yes in hopes that you really will get me a visa to the U.S." that they are both hoping to someday be "married."

Since they don't know each other well enough to have 100% trust and faith in the entire process, (there are no guarantees until visa is in hand... and even then there still must be more to the process) they (or just her in this case) continue to "shop around" on websites to see if maybe someone a little better (or faster, or more willing, or more anything....) can be contacted.

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.

She "chose" you, and is coming here to marry you.

Slim, how do you make this connection? As far as I see it, he claims she is her fiancee. He picked her out and came to visit her. He has posted no timeline nor has stated he is doing the K1 paperwork. For all we know she has used him for a free good time in Russia and a free laptop.

Once again I applaud the Russian lady for taking advantage of the gullible American who has all the advantages to begin with. Now with a laptop in hand she can find the man that better satisfies her needs. I see this lady similar to Cam. If he can meet 3 ladies at once, then this lady can invite 3 men at once. All fair game when you are shopping.

I'm meeting his fiance.

This is really starting to be a funny thread. After everyone giving Cam $#!^ for meeting more than one girl, he finally got to strike back, and perfectly timed at that. Bravo Cam. Bravo.

In all seriousness though, guys, if you're not giving your girl daily updates and sending her money all the time and making life just too good to be true, she's going to always have in the back of her mind that you may just be stringing her along and may take forever to get her over to you, and maybe, just maybe, she'd be better off going with another guy. So, she'll keep browsing.

And ladies, we're guys. So if we can find a version of you that's a little better looking, a little younger, and a little more willing to take care of us.... we're going to. We might not, cause after all this, we really do love you, but in the back of our minds, the grass is always greener.

This is just human nature. We can't help but think things like this.... at first. But then, our minds and hearts and emotions and everything else takes over and if we're lucky, we find the one that's just right for us. Or, we concede and decide "That's it. There's no way I'm going to trade up from this one. Better take this deal while it's still on the table."

And that's how I do it. I'm going to shoot this situation straight. If you want all that puppy dogs and sunshine "but we really love each other and knew from the start that we were meant to be together, and I would never ever think about someone else like that and....." go to the K-1 forum. Cause right here, (and on all those "shopping" sites) that's the way we all think. Most people do it subconsciously, and deny that they're thinking about stuff like that. Russians (especially the ladies) don't seem to have a problem putting it out there.... and we shouldn't either.

Keep it real, everyone!

Leaving for Kazan tomorow morning, I will take a look at her laptop for her, maybe clean out her cache.

[Laveau 67]

have a safe trip!!!

[mrsushi66 0]

And ladies, we're guys. So if we can find a version of you that's a little better looking, a little younger, and a little more willing to take care of us.... we're going to. We might not, cause after all this, we really do love you, but in the back of our minds, the grass is always greener.

This is just human nature. We can't help but think things like this.... at first. But then, our minds and hearts and emotions and everything else takes over and if we're lucky, we find the one that's just right for us. Or, we concede and decide "That's it. There's no way I'm going to trade up from this one. Better take this deal while it's still on the table."

sorry slim ... that's not human nature, although it's nice to finally see a man confront, openly admit and share his massive feelings of insecurity.

Yeah slim if you consider this human nature I guess I am not human. This philosophy is what I call the walmart mentality, get what you need at a reduced cost but plan on replacing it in a year or two. The few serious relationships I have ended because I didn't see the potential to last but if I start having problems with Anna (my fiance) I cannot see myself looking to trade her in. I have found someone I am deeply connected to not someone I am looking to replace and you wonder why there are scammers out there. They read ideas like this and decide to go into with the philosophy, hey I will stick it to him before he trades me in. My advice is stop looking over the fence and figure out how to make your own grass greener.

Course this is just my opinion.

[Cam 0]

have a safe trip!!!

Thanks

[PurrSuede 0]

Yeah slim if you consider this human nature I guess I am not human. This philosophy is what I call the walmart mentality, get what you need at a reduced cost but plan on replacing it in a year or two. The few serious relationships I have ended because I didn't see the potential to last but if I start having problems with Anna (my fiance) I cannot see myself looking to trade her in. I have found someone I am deeply connected to not someone I am looking to replace and you wonder why there are scammers out there. They read ideas like this and decide to go into with the philosophy, hey I will stick it to him before he trades me in. My advice is stop looking over the fence and figure out how to make your own grass greener.

Course this is just my opinion.

Hear, Hear Paul.. excellent post...

I have to say after several rather adverse relationships myself, I've had to ask myself was it really the potential of what could have been, or my own walmart mentality or theirs or what??

And then when I realized that the "trade-in" can certainly occur either way... and boy I got it stuck to me pretty good, although it sure could have been a lot worse. And she may have traded me in way too soon for her own good, if the USCIS has their way with her...

But I have to say, this time I'm feeling like I'm really forming a deep deep connection and honestly? I don't feel like either of the two RW's I was involved with prior to this were this deep a connection.

We will see what happens. I just want my own grass to stay nice and green for a long long time, and that's not with the aid of too much "fertilizer" either...

-- Dan

[John and Anna 0]

You know

I still look (at match etc) every month or so - just to see the losers are still there.

Maybe it is an ego thing (i don't know)

But if it is every day/week I would wonder about myself.

Couristy is human nature

Just my opinion - your mileage may vary

[Fandango 1,439]

You know

I still look (at match etc) every month or so - just to see the losers are still there.

Maybe it is an ego thing (i don't know)

But if it is every day/week I would wonder about myself.

Couristy is human nature

Just my opinion - your mileage may vary

which losers in particular, John?

Edited October 5, 2006 by LisaD

[workin4somethin 0]

She loves me, she loves me not…?

I think jealousy will eventually get the best of some of the posters in this thread.

[John and Anna 0]

You know

I still look (at match etc) every month or so - just to see the losers are still there.

Maybe it is an ego thing (i don't know)

But if it is every day/week I would wonder about myself.

Couristy is human nature

Just my opinion - your mileage may vary

which losers in particular, John?

The boys and the girls - still on match after 3 years.

Sorry maybe the word I should have used is Persistent (unrelenting, constant, relentless, [professional]) ?

I was one.

Edited October 6, 2006 by John and Anna

[travlnmannn 0]

I never did try those websites for dating (match,eharmony). The first one I tried was Elena's Models for my Galina (hope she doesn't sound like a commodity...because of course I dont mean it that way). I've heard mixed reviews about those sites. Never had a problem meeting women in social situations. It was just the quality always left something to be desired. I've said this in another post but the American man has truly spoiled the AW. There was an article in the USA Today about how 57% of women were happy with their current situation being single. They had no desires to be married. And 72% of men were interested in a long term relationship leading to marriage. Crazy huh. And AW say the men are afraid of committment.

[CarolineM 0]

How are those sites - matching Russian Women with American Men not considered marriage broker sites? Not trying to argue - honestly curious

[PurrSuede 0]

How are those sites - matching Russian Women with American Men not considered marriage broker sites? Not trying to argue - honestly curious

here is a definition of a marriage broker:

(4) INTERNATIONAL MARRIAGE BROKER

.

(A) IN GENERAL .The term international marriage broker means a corporation, partnership, business, individual, or other legal entity, whether or not organized under any law of the United States, that charges fees for providing dating, matrimonial, matchmaking services, or social referrals between United States citizens or nationals or aliens lawfully admitted to the United States as permanent residents and foreign national clients by providing personal contact information or otherwise facilitating communication between individuals.

( EXCEPTIONS

.Such term does not include

(i) a traditional matchmaking organization of a cultural or religious nature that operates on a nonprofit basis and otherwise operates in compliance with the laws of the countries in which it operates, including the laws of the United States; or

(ii) an entity that provides dating services if its principal business is not to provide international dating services between United States citizens or United States residents and foreign nationals and it charges comparable rates and offers comparable services to all individuals it serves regardless of the individual's gender or country of citizenship.

If it's not solely concerned with facilitating marriages between Americans - on the one side - and foreign nationals on the other, and if it doesn't charge differently for its services (that is Americans pay higher subscriptions and the foreign nationals pay lower fees or even nothing), then it's not considered a marriage broker.

Many of these websites provide services to both sides of the fence at a comparable cost. Additionally many of them do NOT offer services exclusively to US citizens or residents, there are Brits, Aussies and European Nationalities who use them as well.

In other words, they are not focusing solely on providing to foreign nationals entry to the US of A by virtue of "brokering" (arranging) marriages to US citizens.

That is why they are not "marriage brokers".

-- Dan

Edited October 6, 2006 by PurrSuede

[CarolineM 0]

thank you for the info

[BPM-MVS 0]

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.. I also use it for my work, and when I was working from there, the interent was just terrible and slow, almost unusable. To try and speed things up, I setup one of my own web servers as as proxy, which cashes files so you dont have to download the same things over and over to speed the throughput.. Now I've been back for a while, I go to my webserver to clear out the cache to make room for some new websites, and there are dating sites cached there she has been going to

So I ask her about it, and she's like 'i dont mail to them, I just look'.. And I'm supposed to think WHAT? I mean, this looks like I'm off to a wonderful start here.... NOT.... Is this really what russian women think is acceptable??

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Laptop