She wants to bring her Mom here

[sunt_ny 0]

Wow.. I'm surprised to hear some of these remarks... A little selfish, maybe... My fiancee's mother is all that she has.. I wouldn't be against her mom living with us in new york.. In fact I would welcome her with open arms, she is a great person.

[homesick_american 1]

Wow.. I'm surprised to hear some of these remarks... A little selfish, maybe... My fiancee's mother is all that she has.. I wouldn't be against her mom living with us in new york.. In fact I would welcome her with open arms, she is a great person.

Well, my husband's mother is a passive aggressive psycho with a shopping addiction. She's unpleasant and even my husband doesn't seem to get along with her. So why on earth would we want her to live with us? Whenever she visits I literally count the hours until she leaves, I hate the way she takes over my whole house.

She's a cow.

[sunt_ny 0]

Well under those conditions, I can understand.

[homesick_american 1]

Well under those conditions, I can understand.

Alright then. It's not like I'm an a$$hole. However, I married my husband...not his weirdo family...and I don't like them in my house for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

[mrsushi66 0]

Well under those conditions, I can understand.

Alright then. It's not like I'm an a$$hole. However, I married my husband...not his weirdo family...and I don't like them in my house for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

As long as you are both in agreement on where the family boundries lay then hey what ever works for each couple. No one has a right to judge how one treats their family until they understand the situation.

My family is very close and looks out for one another. My distant Uncle (mom's brother) and his family are not very close and all fend for themselves. If they have a problem each of them deal with it on their own. We tried to be close with them but it was too hard and they push peeps away very easily.

As for my fiance and her family, this would be a discussion Anna and I would have to have but if we agreed they to bring them over and they wanted to come I would do what ever was required to bring them even if it meant a second job. Her family is very much like mine, very close very helpful for one another.

Paul Misses Anna

[homesick_american 1]

Well under those conditions, I can understand.

Alright then. It's not like I'm an a$$hole. However, I married my husband...not his weirdo family...and I don't like them in my house for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

As long as you are both in agreement on where the family boundries lay then hey what ever works for each couple. No one has a right to judge how one treats their family until they understand the situation.

My family is very close and looks out for one another. My distant Uncle (mom's brother) and his family are not very close and all fend for themselves. If they have a problem each of them deal with it on their own. We tried to be close with them but it was too hard and they push peeps away very easily.

As for my fiance and her family, this would be a discussion Anna and I would have to have but if we agreed they to bring them over and they wanted to come I would do what ever was required to bring them even if it meant a second job. Her family is very much like mine, very close very helpful for one another.

Paul Misses Anna

My family is close; my husband's family is extremely dysfunctional. For example, his mother and his sister recently had a feud where they ended up not speaking to each other. The reason? My mother-in-law is angry that my sister-in-law has contact with her father, my mother-in-law's ex-husband. They got divorced 20 years ago.

My MIL hates my husband's father's wife so much that she accused her of faking her multiple sclerosis just to get attention.

My MIL has not spoken to one of her brothers in fifteen years. Her brother apparently blames her for their mother's death.

So as you can see, the whole family is f*cked up. Can you see why I don't really want them around? There is also no way that I will ever allow our future children unsupervised visits with these people.

Edited September 29, 2006 by homesick_american

[I'm Gone 60]

I see a trend here that woman are more likely to want to bring their mother/parents here and if the man is the U.S. citizen he's more open to bringing the mother in-law than U.S. women.

Women comments:

"my husband's family is extremely dysfunctional"

"my husband's mother is a passive aggressive psycho with a shopping addiction" "She's a cow."

"Thank god my husband's mother doesn't want to move to the US. I'd rather chew broken glass than have that harridan in my house."

"I married my husband...not his weirdo family"

"I would be fine with it if she had an apartment of her own, and I'd be fine with paying for that. NOT with her living with us."

[homesick_american 1]

I see a trend here that woman are more likely to want to bring their mother/parents here and if the man is the U.S. citizen he's more open to bringing the mother in-law than U.S. women.

Women comments:

"my husband's family is extremely dysfunctional"

"my husband's mother is a passive aggressive psycho with a shopping addiction" "She's a cow."

"Thank god my husband's mother doesn't want to move to the US. I'd rather chew broken glass than have that harridan in my house."

"I married my husband...not his weirdo family"

"I would be fine with it if she had an apartment of her own, and I'd be fine with paying for that. NOT with her living with us."

Don't use those quotes to support stereotypes. All but one of them are from the same source: me.

[Savanphil 3]

can someone say babysitters I would like to have his mom around, not so sure about being under 1 roof though

[CarolineM 0]

It would depend for me. If it was like one of the her main priorities I'd be skeptical...like I was being used for a GC for her AND to get her fam here....ya know?

If it's something mentioned in passing that we'd work on AFTER the marriage and all that...that's different.

sounds shady to me.

[michellek1976 0]

If I was a US citizen I might be feeling a bit used that they were all trying to use me for the elusive Greencard.

But if they could get residency in their own right, or with sponsorship without support I would be okay.

But under no circumstances would I have my parents or my in-laws living with me. How disappointing to finally be together with your spouse and the whole extended family wants to move in too.

Having said that, other cultures don't require the same amount of personal space and they do depend on each other just to survive as best they can.

[Delhiguy 0]

I am the Indian fiance of the USC, and I wouldn't want my soon to be wife living with my mom in no way,shape or form!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Despite our Indian culture of family togetherness and joint families, God help anyone whos tays with my mom I love her, really I do, but I just can't live with her.....But if my fiance wants to, they both can get an apartment for themselves )))))

[JenT 0]

Could be disatrous to a newly forming marriage, depending upon the circumstances. Regardless of how one might get along with their in-laws, I would be sure that there was a plan in terms of how long to expect them to be living under one roof and how they would support themselves once they arrived.

Also, consider what would happen if there were a job offer that required relocation... in another state or across the country. Would the in-laws be expected to up and move as well, if they'd established their own household? Lots of situations like that to be considered.... and every circumstance is different.

Jen

[JoelAndAnalyn 0]

If I was a US citizen I might be feeling a bit used that they were all trying to use me for the elusive Greencard.

But if they could get residency in their own right, or with sponsorship without support I would be okay.

But under no circumstances would I have my parents or my in-laws living with me. How disappointing to finally be together with your spouse and the whole extended family wants to move in too.

Having said that, other cultures don't require the same amount of personal space and they do depend on each other just to survive as best they can.

You're right, it depends on the country/culture each is from. My wife is from the Philippines so it's natural for her to want her mother to live with us. She also wants my mother to live with us (not at the same time!) or at least nearby to help take care of her since she is almost 80. That's why I like the Filipino culture and what is missing from American culture. Let's just send 'em off to a home, we don't want to be bothered is the norm in the US.

[Fandango 1,440]

I too would not be against my future MIL moving to America...but not to live permanantly in my house. But I would do all I can to get whatever she needed to set up home here.

In fact, I welcome it....speaking with D not too long ago, I asked him if she'd be interested in doing the 'snowbird' thing