my wife threatening me with immigration / deportation

[lostinwind1 0]

Hello,

This is my first post under new username; sorry just for privacy I am creating this username. To make the story short I came to the US on K-1 visa, I have been working 2 jobs to offer myself and my wife good life, I have built my career here from scratch thanks to god, recently my wife is not appropriating the success and she is looking at it as negative thing in our relationship... my wife has been married twice before and her I am 3rd, this is my first marriage. We fight as any other couples but we properly we do it more often because of the luck of confidence and trust from her side. we had plans to buy a house and stuff like other couples, since our first fight she became mean to me, she says things like "I brought you to this country, you were poor (which is not true, i had a job and was living fine) and I am the cause that you are well now, things no one can hear I get upset every time I hear this and it is just too much on me because I have been working hard and she has not worked since we married she was laid off and she never looked for a job, I am the one everyone look at with negative because I am foreign and not a citizen as her (friends and family). I have decided to go for divorce since we are just burning anything beautiful was between us and I want to keep whatever was good to stay that way. After I told her I want the divorce she did not accept and she is trying to get me deported. I have removed conditions and received 10 years green card. Now she is seeking help from her friends and family to get me deported (NEVER abused her or anything) she is saying that “I used her and I never wanted her and she is going to send me home, because our marriage was false” those are her words now every time I see her. I have found a new apartment and I am moving very soon. I do not mind supporting her and that’s just fine and fair because I want her to have whatever she wants, I am leaving the house with a bag of clothes nothing else she can keep whatever….

I just want some advice here and some suggestion, any comment on what should I do and should I go ahead and get a lawyer or wait until she does that?

Forgive my English and Thank you very much for reading.

-LostInWind

Edited October 21, 2011 by lostinwind1

[ladyg 10]

Hello,

This is my first post under new username; sorry just for privacy I am creating this username. To make the story short I came to the US on K-1 visa, I have been working 2 jobs to offer myself and my wife good life, I have built my career here from scratch thanks to god, recently my wife is not appropriating the success and she is looking at it as negative thing in our relationship... my wife has been married twice before and her 3rd, this is my first marriage. We fight as any other couples but we properly do it more often because of the luck of confidence and trust from her side. I do work a lot but we had plans to buy a house and stuff like other couples, since our first fight she became mean to me, like I brought you to this country, you were poor and I am the cause that you are well now, things no one can hear I get upset every time I hear this and it is just too much on me because I have been working hard and she has not worked since we married she was laid off and she never looked for a job, I am the one everyone look at with negative because I am foreign and not a citizen as her (friends and family). I have decided to go for divorce since we are just burning anything beautiful was between us and I want to keep whatever was good to stay that way. After I told her I want the divorce she did not accept and she is trying to get me deported. I have removed conditions and received 10 years green card. Now she is seeking help from her friends and family to get me deported, she is saying that “I used her and I never wanted her and she is going to send me home, because our marriage was false” those are her words now every time I see her. I have found a new apartment and I am moving very soon. I do not mind supporting her and that’s just fine and fair because I want her to have whatever she wants, I am leaving the house with a bag of clothes nothing else she can keep whatever….

I just want some advice here and some suggestion, any comment on what should I do and should I go ahead and get a lawyer or wait until she does that?

Forgive my English and Thank you very much for reading.

-LostInWind

Sorry to hear this.I feel your pain have gone through it too.Its sad be strong and of good courage .She cant have you deported you have your gc for 10 years .She will have to prove so ICE that you entered in marriage for the sake of GC.My advise keep all documents that you have with her ( i mean documents in both your names) so that if it came to that you will prove bonafide marriage ,My own opinion a lawyer isnt needed now unless otherwise.I dont know why some USC spouse like threatening deportation.People should know that for someone to have someone deported its a long process and people need to have hard evidense,once you move avoid contact with her she may accuse you of abuse and have you arrested to make you look a bad person.All the best .

[Leatherneck 693]

Hello,

This is my first post under new username; sorry just for privacy I am creating this username. To make the story short I came to the US on K-1 visa, I have been working 2 jobs to offer myself and my wife good life, I have built my career here from scratch thanks to god, recently my wife is not appropriating the success and she is looking at it as negative thing in our relationship... my wife has been married twice before and her I am 3rd, this is my first marriage. We fight as any other couples but we properly we do it more often because of the luck of confidence and trust from her side. we had plans to buy a house and stuff like other couples, since our first fight she became mean to me, she says things like "I brought you to this country, you were poor (which is not true, i had a job and was living fine) and I am the cause that you are well now, things no one can hear I get upset every time I hear this and it is just too much on me because I have been working hard and she has not worked since we married she was laid off and she never looked for a job, I am the one everyone look at with negative because I am foreign and not a citizen as her (friends and family). I have decided to go for divorce since we are just burning anything beautiful was between us and I want to keep whatever was good to stay that way. After I told her I want the divorce she did not accept and she is trying to get me deported. I have removed conditions and received 10 years green card. Now she is seeking help from her friends and family to get me deported (NEVER abused her or anything) she is saying that “I used her and I never wanted her and she is going to send me home, because our marriage was false” those are her words now every time I see her. I have found a new apartment and I am moving very soon. I do not mind supporting her and that’s just fine and fair because I want her to have whatever she wants, I am leaving the house with a bag of clothes nothing else she can keep whatever….

I just want some advice here and some suggestion, any comment on what should I do and should I go ahead and get a lawyer or wait until she does that?

Forgive my English and Thank you very much for reading.

-LostInWind

Your wife can not get you deported, you have "removed conditions" and have the 10 year GC, you've demonstrated you have a bonafide marriage. However, now that you are aware that she is seeking help from others to serve her purpose, be careful so as not find yourself in a situation that could result in a legal nightmare. Personally I would be concerned about the nasty claim of domestic violence, even if it is false. Moving out is a good start to protect yourself in that regard.

At this point you do not need a lawyer.

[lostinwind1 0]

Thank you both for you replay and i am very appreciative of taking time to reply to me it mean a lot to me to hear from all of you, i have all documents which prove that i have been a good husband providing whatever to make relationship in good faith it is just not worth it to stay with her, she is getting defensive and me moving out is a good step to keep away from any arguments. she is asking for support even we are not divorce yet and i said it is okay i would support you as much as you need i am not a bad person and i am going to abandon you like that, i have morals and i would not do something like that i know you are not working and my duty is to take care of you as much as i can. "when i say this in fact she get worse and get so mad at me"

Thank you very much and it means much to me to see you reply

Edited October 21, 2011 by lostinwind1

[Aztec&Taino 144]

OP,

I would not worry too much. After all, you have removed conditions of your residency and now your 10 year card. Proceed with the divorce and stop all contact with her. Rebuild your life and move on. You will have to renew your residency card on your own, or better yet, apply for citizenship (naturalization) once you have been a legal permanent resident for five years. I do not think you will have problems...

Best wishes!

[Leatherneck 693]

Thank you both for you replay and i am very appreciative of taking time to reply to me it mean a lot to me to hear from all of you, i have all documents which prove that i have been a good husband providing whatever to make relationship in good faith it is just not worth it to stay with her, she is getting defensive and me moving out is a good step to keep away from any arguments. she is asking for support even we are not divorce yet and i said it is okay i would support you as much as you need i am not a bad person and i am going to abandon you like that, i have morals and i would not do something like that i know you are not working and my duty is to take care of you as much as i can. "when i say this in fact she get worse and get so mad at me"

Thank you very much and it means much to me to see you reply

You are a stand-up guy for offering to provide for her financially, it escapes me why such an offer would elevate her blood pressure.

At the risk of sounding judgemental (which is not my intent) that is an odd response to an offer of ongoing help.

Anyway, it's admirable of you to take the high road by offering an olive branch rather than a kick considering her employment situation.

Be very careful of false domestic violence claims, a desperate effort used by some women (even by men, but less likely)

to exact revenge.

Your welcome OP...good luck!

[lostinwind1 0]

How do i avoid any false domestic violence claims? what should i do to prevent anything like that?

Thank you,

-Lostinwind

[hikergirl 277]

I think you should have someone with you at all times if you must have contact with her (for example to retrieve belongings).

[lostinwind1 0]

Yes i thought of that, i want to bring a friend with me when i am moving out, i just need couple of my things like computers and so on not major things, but is a fried consider as a witness in case she goes crazy and do something stupid? i mean he is my friend (she knows him and knows his wife ) and she would say he is friend of him and lies, you know games i am just trying to get involve in any argument with her because that what she tries to get me in all the time.

[Anh map 2,098]

How do i avoid any false domestic violence claims? what should i do to prevent anything like that?

Thank you,

-Lostinwind

Move out and do not have any face to face contact without another party present.

If you truly are worried about a "scene" when retrieving items contact your local police or sheriff to see if you can have an officer there when you enter the home.

Edited October 21, 2011 by Anh map

[TeapotGirl 66]

before you do that, consider going to a marriage counseling or have you? I don't know your wife but do you think she is just using "deportation" as a defense for rocky marriage? Looks like she is jealous with your accomplishments that are built from scratch (maybe).Sounds like Lynette of Desperate Housewives, or maybe you're losing time for her since you're too busy.

If she accused you of fraud, then you could show that you tried to save the marriage by seeking help.

A lot of times, American uses the term "HE/SHE USED ME FOR THE GREEN CARD" ####### if the marriage didn't work wherein fact, there's more into it. The immigration process is stiff and tough enough to filter the bogus ones.

Edited October 21, 2011 by teapotgurl1983

[lostinwind1 0]

The marriage is already broken and the milk already aged. I maybe making big deal about her being aggressive when i move out but just to protect myself. i am not worried if she accused me with fraud because if it does exist she is part of it, she is just upset about the fact that i am leaving her. honestly the relationship is not working... does not want to go through details but when 2 people not happy they need to divorce if they can not fix it, i did not go to consulting. but we try to save this relationship.

Thank you much.

[lostinwind1 0]

Move out and do not have any face to face contact without another party present.

If you truly are worried about a "scene" when retrieving items contact your local police or sheriff to see if you can have an officer there when you enter the home.

I see, but i prefer to keep police out of this, i will see couple of our friends to be present while retrieving my items. i know it is very emotional for her to see me leaving but i want to be careful as much as possible, to get police involve is bit of a deal here.

[az110965 252]

How do i avoid any false domestic violence claims? what should i do to prevent anything like that?

Thank you,

-Lostinwind

Your best bet is to either move your possessions out when you know she will not be there or contact your local law enforcement agency to observe you removing your things to "keep the peace". There will be a record made of you leaving the residence without any domestic issues and you will be protected from false allegations of violence.

I would advise you to take necessary caution and protect yourself...

Good luck

[Incongo 0]

Wow you are a stand up guy! You should read my thread about how my husband is treating me and he work do not support me at all.