Prenup...?

[MrMrsKnight 0]

Personally, I believe that if you, as an individual have significant assets to protect in the event of a failed marriage then there's absolutely a reason to pursue getting a prenuptial.

I did this myself as I have moderate wealth. There are ways, and means, to introduce this sensitive subject to your fiance(e) without alienating them (no pun intended).

The wrong way is to claim that what is yours is yours prior to marriage and anything you aquire while married is joint, or marital property.

The right way to put it is that, upon dissolution of marriage that property attained by you (assuming your the one protecting assets) is yours, and exclusively yours, if any of the following reasons for the marriage to end come to fruition:

irreconcilable differences

committing adultery

spousal abuse (on her part)

And many other circumstances and caveats...............................

If properly written, the prenuptial should also spell out the circumstances by which your property will revert to your spouse, assuming your spouse is faithful and true to the marriage, as in your sudden death.

There are many here that become quite emotional over this subject but I think that the only people that really give this option serious consideration are of course those that have significant holdings, property and wealth to protect in the likelihood the marriage is dissolved through divorce.

It's clearly the "smart" thing to do, especially if you have significant assets.

Well I must say you made so much sense there. My fiance and I are not rich so maybe that's one of the reasons why we didn't even consider it... I do know we wouldn't have anyway.... hehe. But still... letting the non USC fiances add whatever they think should be valid too is a good way to do it....

[Rosie420 2]

I guess my feelings run toward the 'hopeless romantic' side of the spectrum. Then again, I've never had money, real estate, assets, etc. Maybe if I had lots of money, I'd be concerned about 'protecting' it. I don't think I'd be that way, but I really can't say for sure. I've been through a divorce, with a kid, so I know firsthand how awful it is. I don't ever want to go through another divorce, but if I did, I'd be much more upset about my broken heart than deciding who gets the car.

[MrMrsKnight 0]

Well the fact we lived together for 2 years sure helped on the trusting part too. It made us more secure about our intentions and everything else...

[freebird 0]

I'm thinking of making a prenup, why not. I want to provide my wife with something, so I was thinking of basing my retirement, savings, stocks, mutual funds and what ever assets I have on the length of time we are married. for example, 10% of my holdings for evry year we are married. heheheee! what do you think?

[gimygirl 0]

I'm thinking of making a prenup, why not. I want to provide my wife with something, so I was thinking of basing my retirement, savings, stocks, mutual funds and what ever assets I have on the length of time we are married. for example, 10% of my holdings for evry year we are married. heheheee! what do you think?

so she gets 100% by year 10!?!? sounds like a great pre-nup to me!

[samiam 0]

My fiance and I are going with a prenup. It does not have to be looked at in a bad way. It is going to kind of go hand in hand with a will. If I die my fiance will get the house and enough money to not have to worry about the bills for a long time if ever and my child from a previous marriage will be taken care of as well. But if my fiance has an affair they "aint gettin nuttin". In my opinion if you have children from a previous marriage and any assets at all you should maybe consider a prenup and a will. Why would you want the state to make these decisions for you ??? its your money and your child (children) And in the event of your untimley passing I'm sure you would want all involved to be treated fairly and trust me you can not count on the state to do that. In fact I believe in the state I live in if you die without a will the spouse gets everything! Can you imagine if you were married for only a year or two and passed away and your child (children) got nothing. (This is of course assuming your children are grown and do not live with you). Besides that if you have a child from a previous marriage then you allready know that unfortunatley things dont always work out.

[387 0]

I dont have one because I dont have anything.

[Welshcookie 17]

We won't have a pre nup but we have certainly talked about what would happen if things turned belly up. At the end of my first marriage many years ago I signed everything over to my ex thro guilt out of ending the marriage....I ended up being separated from my small kids for along time because of that decision. This time we both know what will happen....and I am happier for it....I trust him at his word (I do have the benefit of seeing how he behaved through his recent divorce ) and he trusts me....

We talked it through once and put away....

[KarenCee 3]

We won't have a pre nup but we have certainly talked about what would happen if things turned belly up. At the end of my first marriage many years ago I signed everything over to my ex thro guilt out of ending the marriage....I ended up being separated from my small kids for along time because of that decision. This time we both know what will happen....and I am happier for it....I trust him at his word (I do have the benefit of seeing how he behaved through his recent divorce ) and he trusts me....

We talked it through once and put away....

I think that's the key here....trust. I've never had money, nothing of value really. Joel doesn't either. I just wonder though, rather than doing a prenup thing, if there are other ways of protecting those assets, one that doesn't seem to say (IMHO) "I love you so much, BUT I gotta protect myself, just in case....."

[TracyTN 237]

Chas has told me that he'd sign 'whatever' I ask him to sign (I don't have a lot either, but my house) but I said nope. I figure if I don't trust him - and our relationship - any more than that, I shouldn't get married in the first place.

[wherezdabearz 0]

Hmmm...seems to me that being able to discuss the possibility of a prenup is a sign of love and respect for your partner. It means that you want to come to a fair decision about what each person would be entitled to if things don't go to plan. And if one of you doesn't think it fair, then don't get married!

I don't think that considering what would happen if the relationship ended is a sign that you are actually expecting it to end.

[TracyTN 237]

Well sure, I agree that you have to at least have the conversation about 'what if'. Hopefully one doesn't go into it THAT unprepared.

[Keigwyn 1]

The only thing we talked about was doing a survivorship warranty deed on her house when we get married, but that was her idea not mine. I guess I shall be arriving in the States with next to nothing

[Welshcookie 17]

oh...I forget to say..we have also agreed that I get air fare home twice a year, If I choose...

[morocco4ever 63]

Not for me and my husband. I waited many years to find the perfect man for me. After one failed marriage I changed my attitude completely. Here is my train of thought.

First I won't marry again unless he has ALL of the qualities I am seeking. So basically I wasn't going to settle this time.

Second, I decided that if and when I found that perfect man then I am going into the marriage with success in mind not failure.

This is a personal decision, and what is right for me isn't necessarily right for someone else.