My Story

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

No offense, but I have to say this based on one of the member's comment:

Our relationships are priority. NO one with a reasonable IQ goes through this painful and long process intending to "commit a fraud" or ask for their loved one to come to the states for "Immigration purposes only". Most of us are decent US Citizens, working hard and paying our taxes, and truly love the person we are in a relationship with and they love us back and want them here with us.

"We" most of us, have other obligations here in the States. WE have jobs with maximum of two or three weeks of vacation time. Therefore, taking months off will cause us to lose our jobs. Jobs we need to maintain and make enough money to be able to sponsor our fiances or spouses, otherwise we don't qualify for the "golden visa". "Without money, there is no honey". Most of us have careers and other family obligations, we can't drop everything and move to another country for months at a time, to prove our love for our men or women as real and bonafide .

When we file for the visas, no where does it indicate that we have to live with them for months, or make twenty trips to visit them, or we have to be the same color, or from the same culture, or same age to earn the right to have them join us here. But it seems in "the immigration process" there are many loops and traps, which "WE" as petitioners are not aware of until much later time. When our fees are paid, and months become years of waiting for the miraculous visa to be processed, for the embassy to give interviews, waiting for AP to be over, waiting for the CO to call back the beneficiary over and over to question them. In immigration process "We are guilty until proven innocent", which is such nonsense, but a fact which effects so many of us the petitioners and beneficiaries. WE are not made aware of any of this nonsense at the beginning of the process when we file the applications, it hits us much later when we are up to our neck with "bureaucracy #######" of laws and violations of our civil and constitutional rights. Same laws, which were created to protect us equally, but in this process is crucifying us if we chose to love someone, who is not from "the A list of counties' which are buddy buddy with the USA.

Months at a time together, should not be the bases of approval of a visa. A real relationship, is based on comparability and quality time spent to get to know each other, regardless of how often those visits are or how long. Visas are issued, so couples can join each other in the States to start a life together. A fiance visa is for immigration purposes, for once that fiance is in the states, and married within the 90 days, he or she will become an immigrant...LEGALLY.

Why doesn't the application at the time of the filing, state that we need to spend months with our men or women to be approved. Why doesn't it say, we have to make 5 or 10 trips to prove we love our men or women, or we risk denial based on meeting the minimum of "one visit within two years" from the date of filing the visa petition? This is what the application requires, it doesn't say 10 visits. Why is it okay for an older man to marry a much younger woman, and when an older woman marries a younger men, it is a huge "RED FLAG"?? a reason to deny?

How come we are not told to "FRONT LOAD" and address all the red flags at the time of petitioning? it never says that on the instruction page of the application! We are expected to deliver the full truth, but we are not told about the "TRUTH" of how hard it is to bring our loved ones home? Petitions get approved here and then sent abroad to be denied by COS. Misrepresentation is what we are experiencing, and their intent to deny us should be the one being questioned after a long and unnecessary process, which we are put through. WE are made to feel guilty for what? all we did was to fall in love.

The applications should be revised with what they truly expect from each of us the petitioners, so people would know what they are getting themselves into prior to proceeding with this hell of a journey.

1.If being older by many years is going to result in denial, then let's cut the ####### from the start and save everyone time and money. Let's write it in "ENGLISH" plain and simple, saying "don't waste your time...give up now before you start, for we will deny you anyway." Specially if you are a woman and older". RUN the other way NOW! you are unworthy of the love of a younger man.

2.If Divorced don't bother to apply for it is a "RED FLAG" and you will be made to feel unworthy to marry an unmarried man.

3.If you can't have children, oh boy, you defiantly will not be considered for that golden visa.

4.If are a human being, who fell in love with a man or woman from a different country, which is considered "a high fraud country" then don't even bother yourself for only 2 out of 30 get approved,( I am guessing), for the CO thinks he or she is God, with so much power given to them by the USA government, the same COs that we pay taxes, so they can get paid their salaries.

Interesting enough?

MY heart goes out to all the men and women who have been denied a visa, or are on AP, or on AR, or just finally gave up with the immigration "bureaucracy". For the truth is that we are all victims of a system that has failed us, as citizens of this great country, which I love so much and deeply respect.

All my life, I have lived by the law, lived to be a good example, have worked and obeyed the laws of this wonderful nation 100% and raised wonderful productive family. But now that I have fallen in love with a man, who lives across the world, I am being denied to be with him here, a place I call home.

Is there a simple answer? NO there is none. But one lives with hope that even when we fall in the cracks of this corrupt system, there is a way to get justice and resolution.

I just had to say these things. Thanks.

[pushbrk 13,564]

Please note that in most but not all spouse or fiancee based immigration fraud, the US Citizen is a sincere party being used and duped by the foreigner. Consular officers are generally NOT questioning the motives of the US Citizen. The reason significant time living together abroad is advised is in order to overcome the red flags that would likely or already have caused a visa denial based on lack of a bona fide relationship. The strongest evidence of a bona fide relationship is time spent together in person.

[jenkatx 52]

Lovenigarmorestyle hit the nail on the head. The whole system needs a massive overhaul. The beneficiary is often not even allowed to come visit the US so that we can get a better sense of their motives. There is also serious double standards going on as to what countries are approved & which are often so declined. A marriage between a USC & say a native of the UK is just as likely to fail as a marriage between a USC & a Nigerian. However, so many of us are never given this opportunity because Nigeria as a country does not have as much to offer to the US. It is terribly unfair. It also seems that this has become a money making business to our government. How many times do they deny a travel visa and tell us, apply for K-1. Then we are denied a K-1 and they tell us, get married to show us you are legit. Meanwhile we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and months or years waiting. Can you imagine when my fiance went to interview for a tourist visa they approved just 3 of 300 people there. That was in a few hours time, yet the fee is non refundable. Not fair at all. We have looked and looked for the statistics as to the approval rate for such visas but never found any. Had we known the huge chance of failure we would have not wasted so much time and effort on that.

Back to issue at hand. Not many people can pack up and move overseas no matter how we love our spouse. We have children, parents, jobs, mortgages. Often we are not talking about moving to Europe. In this case we are talking about moving to Nigeria where we are not safe. Where we can not drink the water or live without getting malaria. Where we are in danger of being kidnapped anytime we walk out the door. Where there is not adequate medical care available to us. Where Boko Haram blows up something new every other day. That is simply unfair and ridiculous. A k-1 visa is simply a 90 day pass. Why deny it when they know that if the marriage does not take place the beneficiary is out? The whole family based system is a joke. Instead of denying these visas they need to build additional safeguards into the system to prevent the fraudulent beneficiary's from being able to stay if they divorce their petitioner later, not the weak ones we have now. They also need to follow through on the law that was discussed which does not allow a immigrant to divorce their spouse then remarry and bring someone from their home country. If nothing they could simply extend the time required before conditions can be removed and require that person to return to their home country in the event of a divorce.

[pushbrk 13,564]

Lovenigarmorestyle hit the nail on the head. The whole system needs a massive overhaul. The beneficiary is often not even allowed to come visit the US so that we can get a better sense of their motives. There is also serious double standards going on as to what countries are approved & which are often so declined. A marriage between a USC & say a native of the UK is just as likely to fail as a marriage between a USC & a Nigerian. However, so many of us are never given this opportunity because Nigeria as a country does not have as much to offer to the US. It is terribly unfair. It also seems that this has become a money making business to our government. How many times do they deny a travel visa and tell us, apply for K-1. Then we are denied a K-1 and they tell us, get married to show us you are legit. Meanwhile we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and months or years waiting. Can you imagine when my fiance went to interview for a tourist visa they approved just 3 of 300 people there. That was in a few hours time, yet the fee is non refundable. Not fair at all. We have looked and looked for the statistics as to the approval rate for such visas but never found any. Had we known the huge chance of failure we would have not wasted so much time and effort on that.

Back to issue at hand. Not many people can pack up and move overseas no matter how we love our spouse. We have children, parents, jobs, mortgages. Often we are not talking about moving to Europe. In this case we are talking about moving to Nigeria where we are not safe. Where we can not drink the water or live without getting malaria. Where we are in danger of being kidnapped anytime we walk out the door. Where there is not adequate medical care available to us. Where Boko Haram blows up something new every other day. That is simply unfair and ridiculous. A k-1 visa is simply a 90 day pass. Why deny it when they know that if the marriage does not take place the beneficiary is out? The whole family based system is a joke. Instead of denying these visas they need to build additional safeguards into the system to prevent the fraudulent beneficiary's from being able to stay if they divorce their petitioner later, not the weak ones we have now. They also need to follow through on the law that was discussed which does not allow a immigrant to divorce their spouse then remarry and bring someone from their home country. If nothing they could simply extend the time required before conditions can be removed and require that person to return to their home country in the event of a divorce.

I understand you want it to be easier to get what YOU want. However, the immigration laws on the books are designed to make it more difficult for those who will cheat their way into the USA, to get what THEY want. Too often, the unsuspecting US Citizen is being scammed. The laws are not there to protect the petitioner from being scammed though. They are there to protect the sovereignty of the USA and the safety and security of its Citizens and LEGAL residents.

It's difficult to obtain a visitor visa to the USA from poor countries, for good reasons. Relationships with foreigners are costly and complicated. We all deal with it to one degree or another when we CHOOSE to enter a relationship with a foreigner.

[jenkatx 52]

I understand you want it to be easier to get what YOU want. However, the immigration laws on the books are designed to make it more difficult for those who will cheat their way into the USA, to get what THEY want. Too often, the unsuspecting US Citizen is being scammed. The laws are not there to protect the petitioner from being scammed though. They are there to protect the sovereignty of the USA and the safety and security of its Citizens and LEGAL residents.

It's difficult to obtain a visitor visa to the USA from poor countries, for good reasons. Relationships with foreigners are costly and complicated. We all deal with it to one degree or another when we CHOOSE to enter a relationship with a foreigner.

What I am saying is that our entire immigration system needs to be overhauled for this very reason. Instead of denying our fiances because of suspicion with no proof they need to build safeguards into the system to send those people back easier if it is determined to be a fraud. We the people are the USA. The issue is very rarely a safety & security issue, but rather a money issue. Do you truly believe that the system as it is now is working correctly? That it is fair & just? And how many of us had any idea what the immigration process would entail when we fell in love with our fiance or spouse? I assumed that because I am a citizen who pays taxes, I would show that we are planning to get married & he would be allowed to come here. Not if he is from the right country he can come here. Or if the CO slept well the night before he could come here. Or if we meet a certain set of un written rules which differ based upon our sex, divorce status, color, and age; and which change day by day without anyone who is in the process being informed. The immigration system as it is goes against our basic rights as Americans. It does not honor what our country's history & what it was built upon. We are not talking about illegal people who sneak across the borders to send all their money back home or terrorists, we are talking about our FAMILY.

[pushbrk 13,564]

What I am saying is that our entire immigration system needs to be overhauled for this very reason. Instead of denying our fiances because of suspicion with no proof they need to build safeguards into the system to send those people back easier if it is determined to be a fraud. We the people are the USA. The issue is very rarely a safety & security issue, but rather a money issue. Do you truly believe that the system as it is now is working correctly? That it is fair & just? And how many of us had any idea what the immigration process would entail when we fell in love with our fiance or spouse? I assumed that because I am a citizen who pays taxes, I would show that we are planning to get married & he would be allowed to come here. Not if he is from the right country he can come here. Or if the CO slept well the night before he could come here. Or if we meet a certain set of un written rules which differ based upon our sex, divorce status, color, and age; and which change day by day without anyone who is in the process being informed. The immigration system as it is goes against our basic rights as Americans. It does not honor what our country's history & what it was built upon. We are not talking about illegal people who sneak across the borders to send all their money back home or terrorists, we are talking about our FAMILY.

Bringing a foreign fiance or spouse to a the USA to live is not one of our basic rights. You want it to be presumably because you want what you want. Yes, I believe the system is working correctly in the vast majority of cases. There will be exceptions but just as we sometimes convict the innocent and acquit the guilty in or legal system, it's the best there is. We all tend to complain when things don't go our way but the system is bigger than that. Bringing a spouse from ANY country, no matter HOW legitimate, how many years the couple lived together abroad or how many children they had together, took YEARS prior to 2001. The process has sped up significantly since then. Unfortunately, the number of fraud cases has increased drastically since then.

Safeguards to send people back doesn't work. Once they are here, they can disappear. Once they are even conditional permanent residents, they burden to show they entered the marriage in good faith is pretty easy. If they can do so, they stay. Sure, safety and security is only an issue in a small percentage of cases, but 19 of those cases killed 3000 people on September 11, 2001.

Note my reference to 2001 in paragraph one refers to the life act, not nine eleven.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

The truth is more Nigerian marriages are fraud than those from the UK. Drop a note to the top 10 posters in each portal and ask them if their marriage was legit. I know the answer for Nigeria. The tpo 3 are still together , then you start with fraud , fraud , fraud. I am not sure about Queen Jen , she disappeared after the visa but she never returned for ROC so the clues say that they aren't togerther ,but there is no fraud report , then you have another case of fraud and then the account I used the first time through when we got denied. So the chances that you are wasting your money on a man that won't be there by the time it comes to ROC is about 50/50. IS it painful to be denied and have to make a second attempt yes but if it wasn't for the care that Lagos takes the top 10 list would be an even sadder story. The red flags you state make it harder , because they have mapped a pattern of which couples tend to be less apt to be "real". If the red flags mentioned I think Joseph and I have them all. Yet we made it through the gauntlet and are in the US together. I endured 3 trips there ,carefully saving my vacation/sick time and planning around public holidays to make the most of the time. I got sick, I endured the lack of electricity and got robbed several times. Nigeria has something the US is very interested in , it is the number 10 oil producing country in the world. What does the UK provide ? Crumpets ? You make wild claims from your frustrations with a process that is balancing allowing new immigrants to the US with the need to protect the US. The internet has given the fraudsters open access to love starved USC's and they study how to woe you off your feet because of their interest in getting to the US. A person from the UK has a good chance to come on a visa waiver and see what the US is , to use other means of getting here without abusing the feelings of a USC. A Nigerian has 2 basic paths DV lottery and a family based petition. The lottery prospect are dismal making the family based petition the easy path to the US. All you need is a willing USC to file the petition for you.

[pushbrk 13,564]

The truth is more Nigerian marriages are fraud than those from the UK. Drop a note to the top 10 posters in each portal and ask them if their marriage was legit. I know the answer for Nigeria. The tpo 3 are still together , then you start with fraud , fraud , fraud. I am not sure about Queen Jen , she disappeared after the visa but she never returned for ROC so the clues say that they aren't togerther ,but there is no fraud report , then you have another case of fraud and then the account I used the first time through when we got denied. So the chances that you are wasting your money on a man that won't be there by the time it comes to ROC is about 50/50. IS it painful to be denied and have to make a second attempt yes but if it wasn't for the care that Lagos takes the top 10 list would be an even sadder story. The red flags you state make it harder , because they have mapped a pattern of which couples tend to be less apt to be "real". If the red flags mentioned I think Joseph and I have them all. Yet we made it through the gauntlet and are in the US together. I endured 3 trips there ,carefully saving my vacation/sick time and planning around public holidays to make the most of the time. I got sick, I endured the lack of electricity and got robbed several times. Nigeria has something the US is very interested in , it is the number 10 oil producing country in the world. What does the UK provide ? Crumpets ? You make wild claims from your frustrations with a process that is balancing allowing new immigrants to the US with the need to protect the US. The internet has given the fraudsters open access to love starved USC's and they study how to woe you off your feet because of their interest in getting to the US. A person from the UK has a good chance to come on a visa waiver and see what the US is , to use other means of getting here without abusing the feelings of a USC. A Nigerian has 2 basic paths DV lottery and a family based petition. The lottery prospect are dismal making the family based petition the easy path to the US. All you need is a willing USC to file the petition for you.

Note that the statistics above apply only to VJ members who had eventually successful visa processes. Far more were unsuccessful primarily on suspicion of fraud. Nigerian spouse visa applicants are not "coming from the wrong country". They simply have a higher probability of entering into fraudulent relationship than those from any other country in the world. There are a few countries that have almost the same probabilities but Nigeria is in a category of its own.

Fraud levels for Consulates are expressed as Low, Medium, High and LAGOS. It is what it is. Eyes open and armed with applicable facts, is a good place to be.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

When we apply for these visas, weather it is for a fiancé or spouse, at the time of petitioning for our loved ones, we should be made aware of the facts and concerns of the USCIS and Consulates abroad, prior to cashing out our FEES and putting us through the unknown for a year or so. Many of us are put through unnecessary HELL, which can be prevented at the beginning of the process, if we were made aware of their concerns.

When we apply, most of our applications are approved and forwarded to the country of the beneficiary without a hitch. It doesn’t indicate Nigeria is in a category of its own, considered “the hardest country” to obtain a visa from. When an applicant is following the instructions, of how to apply, it never indicates the need for “the CO” to have beyond the required proof to consider the application for an approval. THIS IS A FACT. NO where does it say make 10 trip to see your fiancé or husband or wife, or take 1000 pictures, or create a three ring binder with 1000 emails, letters, phone records, to be considered for a visa seriously by the CO.

All I am saying, PUT IT IN WRITING AND IN ENGLISH AND IN ADVANCE, so an applicant has a choice to proceed prior to investing a year or two, without knowing what to expect. WE should not have to go through hell to find out the truth about how difficult it is to obtain a visa from certain countries, such as Nigeria. We should be told by the USCIS office, in advance of the excessive documentation and proof that will be needed to be submitted, to be considered for an approval by certain countries, such as Nigeria.

Weather some beneficiaries are coming to the US for immigration purposes or not, is not the issue here. This country was built on immigrates. Most of us, who now are US Citizens, were at some point in time immigrants ourselves. There is nothing wrong with that, my family is one, and I am very proud to be an American for over three decades now.

What I am referring to is the “FACTS”, which these applications do not indicate, or gives us the option to reconsider, or to weigh the odds based on their interpretations of the so called "RED FLAGS" at the time of the initial filing, or even at a later time. If given these options, we have a choice to proceed at our own discretion. For once provided with these ‘FACTS”, then it becomes “OUR CHOICE”, as petitioners to proceed with the known.

Yes, NigeriaorBust has a point when she indicates, that most of the relationships with Nigerians and US Citizens go bust after the arrival of the beneficiary. A fact we are now more aware of since joining VJ site. But it is not just the Nigerians, who desire to live out “the American Dream”. It is not just the Nigerians, who could be deceitful, and have low regards to the US Citizens, who are petitioning for them. This could be a fact, which affects most of the couples, who seek visas. Ultimately, each individual is left to their own conscious and with the judgment of their deeds one day with their maker.

Please accept my gratitude to all the comments from the VJ members. I have asked for their advice in the last few months and I highly regard their opinions in this matter. I am not disputing your facts. I am saying one should not need to join VJ, or hire an attorney to be made aware of these facts. It should be provided to us, by our government in advance.

Let us be frank here though, the double standards do exists, where women and men are concerned. I have seen men, who are 20 plus years older than their brides, being accepted for a visa much easier, than a woman who is 20 plus years older than her man. We live in the 21 Century. Let us be treated equally.

[Dave and Kinnari 31]

Immigration is not a right, it's a privilege.

[pushbrk 13,564]

When we apply for these visas, weather it is for a fiancé or spouse, at the time of petitioning for our loved ones, we should be made aware of the facts and concerns of the USCIS and Consulates abroad, prior to cashing out our FEES and putting us through the unknown for a year or so. Many of us are put through unnecessary HELL, which can be prevented at the beginning of the process, if we were made aware of their concerns.

When we apply, most of our applications are approved and forwarded to the country of the beneficiary without a hitch. It doesn't indicate Nigeria is in a category of its own, considered "the hardest country" to obtain a visa from. When an applicant is following the instructions, of how to apply, it never indicates the need for "the CO" to have beyond the required proof to consider the application for an approval. THIS IS A FACT. NO where does it say make 10 trip to see your fiancé or husband or wife, or take 1000 pictures, or create a three ring binder with 1000 emails, letters, phone records, to be considered for a visa seriously by the CO.

All I am saying, PUT IT IN WRITING AND IN ENGLISH AND IN ADVANCE, so an applicant has a choice to proceed prior to investing a year or two, without knowing what to expect. WE should not have to go through hell to find out the truth about how difficult it is to obtain a visa from certain countries, such as Nigeria. We should be told by the USCIS office, in advance of the excessive documentation and proof that will be needed to be submitted, to be considered for an approval by certain countries, such as Nigeria.

Weather some beneficiaries are coming to the US for immigration purposes or not, is not the issue here. This country was built on immigrates. Most of us, who now are US Citizens, were at some point in time immigrants ourselves. There is nothing wrong with that, my family is one, and I am very proud to be an American for over three decades now.

What I am referring to is the "FACTS", which these applications do not indicate, or gives us the option to reconsider, or to weigh the odds based on their interpretations of the so called "RED FLAGS" at the time of the initial filing, or even at a later time. If given these options, we have a choice to proceed at our own discretion. For once provided with these 'FACTS", then it becomes "OUR CHOICE", as petitioners to proceed with the known.

Yes, NigeriaorBust has a point when she indicates, that most of the relationships with Nigerians and US Citizens go bust after the arrival of the beneficiary. A fact we are now more aware of since joining VJ site. But it is not just the Nigerians, who desire to live out "the American Dream". It is not just the Nigerians, who could be deceitful, and have low regards to the US Citizens, who are petitioning for them. This could be a fact, which affects most of the couples, who seek visas. Ultimately, each individual is left to their own conscious and with the judgment of their deeds one day with their maker.

Please accept my gratitude to all the comments from the VJ members. I have asked for their advice in the last few months and I highly regard their opinions in this matter. I am not disputing your facts. I am saying one should not need to join VJ, or hire an attorney to be made aware of these facts. It should be provided to us, by our government in advance.

Let us be frank here though, the double standards do exists, where women and men are concerned. I have seen men, who are 20 plus years older than their brides, being accepted for a visa much easier, than a woman who is 20 plus years older than her man. We live in the 21 Century. Let us be treated equally.

The above is written by somebody who had every opportunity to hire a lawyer or study here on VJ prior to filing a petition. All these "shoulds" above are fine for somebody who believes the Government is supposed to be such an excellent and attentive nanny of the citizen, that nothing inconvenient or unpleasant ever happens to them, no matter how unprepared they are for the results of their personal choices. Fortunately, life doesn't work that way.

We're here to help with real life. Don't expect things to change because you've been inconvenienced.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

If you had read my post thoroughly, you would of realized that I did not join VJ until much later, so your thoughts or advice would of come in too late. Therefore, your rude replies now are not going to make a difference either way.

For the rest of your comments, I will not respond to for it is irrelevant to the facts and it is a personal opinion, which is left at that.

Weather the immigration is a privilege or right, it should have all the facts available from the start for the petitioner. But then neither one of you gentlemen, is dealing or have dealt with the common issues, us women are dealing with here. It is not inconvenience that is being addressed here, it is mere facts which needs to be disclosed early on so one can proceed.

Let's keep insults to ourselves and address each other with respect. No need to make assumptions.

FYI I don't need a nanny, I need the facts to be provided to me by the same government that I support and believe in.

Edited July 29, 2011 by LoveNigarmostyle

[Tina&Israel 4]

If you had read my post thoroughly, you would of realized that I did not join VJ until much later, so your thoughts or advice would of come in too late. Therefore, your rude replies now are not going to make a difference either way.

For the rest of your comments, I will not respond to for it is irrelevant to the facts and it is a personal opinion, which is left at that.

Weather the immigration is a privilege or right, it should have all the facts available from the start for the petitioner. But then neither one of you gentlemen, is dealing or have dealt with the common issues, us women are dealing with here. It is not inconvenience that is being addressed here, it is mere facts which needs to be disclosed early on so one can proceed.

Let's keep insults to ourselves and address each other with respect. No need to make assumptions.

FYI I don't need a nanny, I need the facts to be provided to me by the same government that I support and believe in.

I feel you are absolutely correct. I feel like we are guilty until proven innocent. I feel like everyone should have the right to come to united states. Most poor countries don't care when united states citizen comes there, is the people in other countries lives any different then our lives here. People from Europe and united states go to poor countries(like nigeria) and give their people medicine to kill them and destroy there land, and steal their oil, but they cant even visit here. I think it is a sign of prejudice.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Most people misunderstand the immigration process. They assume that the visa petition is like a fishing permit. Fill it out and you get what you want. It isn't, it is more like the entrance exam for being admitted to the space program. Yes you could just fill out the forms and send them in but your chances are much better if you do a little extra homework. Sometimes even homework doesn't get you past the trick question such as the CO who told Joseph he had to give her details of my work if he wanted a visa. There was no way to prepare for that and in fact the "I don't know" was the most correct answer because of the work I do. You will never find them state in writing that being an older woman is an automatic denial, The hide it in words about cultural standards. If you want to be techinical they do put it in writing about the things that will cause you heartache but the code of immigration and the adjudacators manual would put all of us to sleep. Yes this is the most frustrating experience you can deal with and there does seem to be a huge favoritism for the viarga changed 50 year old man wanting a 20ish woman. It has taken decades to get to the point where being a cougar is ok to the general population let alone a government.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

I am not saying that the members don't have a point in their comments. All I am saying is we should be given this information prior to filing our petitions. Each individual is ultimately responsible of their visas submitted. But it would be nice to know the full picture before hand.

VJ is very informative, both my fiance and I have learned a great deal from the wonderful replies and advices. But this advice comes a year late for our case, we did not know about VJ, until March of this year. I petitioned for his visa last year in April of 2010, it was approved in June of 2010, and then sent to Nigeria. It has taken them over a year and three interviews to make a decision.

I don't agree that other countries have the intention to harm anyone or any country. But we all know that politics are a grey area and much goes on for the possession of world's OIL.

This subject is a whole can of worms. Let us stay on current subject addressed. Thanks.