How did you meet your Filipino Fiance?

[gretchen_darren 67]

....and she shot me by accident. Sure that was an accident????? Maybe she some "game" she wanted. She just made sure you couldn't run away from her before you got to know her.....

[andrew&evelyn 6]

Patty and I met on Filipina Heart now known as Filipino Cupid on May 22, 2010. I know this will sound like a cliche, but, within a few days we knew we were meant to be together. It is as if we've known each other for a long time. We chatted everyday through Yahoo Messenger and Skype and then a lot of video chatting. I met her personally in Cotabato city October 16, 2010. She teaches at Notre Dame University in the Science Department (Biology is her forte). We spent three glorious weeks together visiting Eden Nature Park and Samal Islands in Davao, Coron & Puerto Princesa in Palawan, and Manila. It had been 26 years since we immigrated to the US of A. I had almost forgotten how beautiful Philippines is. We got engaged October 17, 2010 while I was there and submitted the petition April 1, 2011 with NOA1 April 5, 2011. Our prayers were answered when we were notified that as of June 24, 2011 we are approved!!! Now onto the next steps. God willing I will be there for her interview and we will be together within a couple of months. I cannot wait to see my "babe ko" again!

By the way, beautiful video and good luck on your journey. You will get there no doubt in God's time!

Is she from South Cotabato or North Cotabato? I'm just curious because I'm from South Cotabato:)

[vertman 4]

FilipinaHeart ..aka FilipinaCupid. Yes, The Lord is Great.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Throughout the islands I saw internet cafes full of girls chatting with foreigners. I had been to Luzon, Mindanao, Samar, Leyte, and Cebu by then - the same thing everywhere. The survey I saw here indicates the internet is by far the most common way people are meeting. It was interesting that people always asked us over there if we met on the internet, but in a way that cast suspicion upon us somehow. I didn't understand why, so I asked my wife. She said it was all these Filipinas stripping on the internet. Ha ha how silly. Sure, that was my thinking too - I just preferred the hands-on approach.

For many, the internet has replaced the bar girl scene. It's cheaper and you're less likely to get an STD from computer keyboard.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

With so many Fil/Am couples here that have met through international dating sites, surely there's got to be some bad experiences - like being asked to send money, finding out that she's got a pinoy bf, or that she's juggling several online bf's.

Do any of these dating sites offer any guarantees or rigorously screen the girls? Do the girls pay to become a member? While I think that dating sites in general can be a good place to meet someone, there's also a lot of potential for scams. So I'd be curious as to what your criteria was for choosing a particular dating site for those who found their fiancee's that way?

[gretchen_darren 67]

Yes some sites screen girls, but many sites do not. Some girls do juggle many online BF's. Many times it is you getting to know each other. Asking questions and listening. The key is listening to each other. As your relationship deepens, you learn more about each other. How much time do you spend on the site you met, or other dating sites? If she continues on the stie, as well as you, how real is the relationship? Normally, you jump off, talk with other, and learn more. Does she have family in the area you live? Do you go and meet them? Normally there is some "extended" family in the nearby area.

As for a local BF, there are some key things to watch for. One how does she talk and treat you. How do you treat her. Does she go asking for money? When you see her, do you spend time in her village, or with her family. Do you meet her relatives? How much do you get to know each other while there? How are you treated by the family?

some key things I noticed:

Filipinas are proud, they will not ask for money. they want love. they may struggle with things, but they will not ask for money. they wil just schedule times to talk with based on affordability.

A Filipinas Dad's Blessing is very very very significant to her. She will seek her dad's blessing on you.

Family is important to a Filipina, do expect to send money to support her parents aftrebecoming engaged or after marriage. If you think you are not going to do this. STOP NOW, you are heading for major issues.

Filipinas ARE Fiathful and Loyal. BUT Filipinas ARE ALSO Insanely jealous. Do not fool yourself. When a Filipppina calls you her mahal ko, watch how often it is. Filipinas arereserved and not overly "lovey dovey".

Filipinas when they set their mind on you, take you to their family, friends, may walk around holding your hand. Depending on the relationship, do not expect a lot of outward emotion. But with close family, she will express herself in front of them to you.

Filipinas have very strict family values. You need to know this, and be prepared to follow them. Staying in her house when you visit is up to the parents, and can be expected in order to show you respect the family with their way of living. If you are looking for a girl to sleep with, a Filipina is your LAST choice.

Filipinas who sleep with you will ONLY do so, once you are engaged. If she does otherwise, question things. If she sleeps with you before you meet her parents, my advice is to RUN. But this is your choice.

Know the culture of your Filipina, there are MAJOR differences between a girl in the city, and a girl in a village, or in the province. A province girl does not know how to use a knife. probably has never been to a restaurant, and returning to her village after leaving to come live with you, is complete shame to her. A Filipina who has children out of wedlock who is from the province is also shunned by her village. She is considered a "bad" influence on the girls in the village.

If a Filipina calls you her saviour, her Hero, she literally means it. Filipinas do not have many boyfriends, nor does a Filipina date many guys.For traditional Filipinas, this is against their culture. Dating is a very very very long and involved process even with an online relationship. A Filipina will be as wary of you, as you are of her.

It is how we met, that decides how things go. And many of the meetings all have the same thread. there was a meeting, and time spent learning each other. Some just knew, some did not know for a long time. It just depends on the relationship and the people.

Others care to pitch in on this question?

[JoBri 545]

From past experience I know it is just as easy to meet people face to face in same town with a secret life too. Me and my wife had some issues come up that were secrets too, both ways, meeting online, then face to face. I mean, even after she was here there were things I tried to keep hidden of my past that eventually came out, and things she tried to keep hidden from her past too. That has happened between me and more local of relationships too though. But even so, with me and my wife, we worked through it. Our first year was kind of difficult.

Actually, I believe in a God who is directly involved in the lives of His people who wants the best for those he loves and who belong to him. And God did the choosing in our case, and the building of relationship, and the cementing of things in place because whether or not I had met my wife at first face to face or in person, it is my wife who my God wanted me with. I know this because our marriage and family is nothing short of a miracle, and I know this because I know God is in control of all things wanting the very best. And I know this because in spite of all of what me or my wife did wrong, God worked all things for the good in our little family and in our love for each other.

Brian in Tennessee

[yhang 20]

Yes some sites screen girls, but many sites do not. Some girls do juggle many online BF's. Many times it is you getting to know each other. Asking questions and listening. The key is listening to each other. As your relationship deepens, you learn more about each other. How much time do you spend on the site you met, or other dating sites? If she continues on the stie, as well as you, how real is the relationship? Normally, you jump off, talk with other, and learn more. Does she have family in the area you live? Do you go and meet them? Normally there is some "extended" family in the nearby area.

As for a local BF, there are some key things to watch for. One how does she talk and treat you. How do you treat her. Does she go asking for money? When you see her, do you spend time in her village, or with her family. Do you meet her relatives? How much do you get to know each other while there? How are you treated by the family?

some key things I noticed:

Filipinas are proud, they will not ask for money. they want love. they may struggle with things, but they will not ask for money. they wil just schedule times to talk with based on affordability.

A Filipinas Dad's Blessing is very very very significant to her. She will seek her dad's blessing on you.

Family is important to a Filipina, do expect to send money to support her parents aftrebecoming engaged or after marriage. If you think you are not going to do this. STOP NOW, you are heading for major issues.

Filipinas ARE Fiathful and Loyal. BUT Filipinas ARE ALSO Insanely jealous. Do not fool yourself. When a Filipppina calls you her mahal ko, watch how often it is. Filipinas arereserved and not overly "lovey dovey".

Filipinas when they set their mind on you, take you to their family, friends, may walk around holding your hand. Depending on the relationship, do not expect a lot of outward emotion. But with close family, she will express herself in front of them to you.

Filipinas have very strict family values. You need to know this, and be prepared to follow them. Staying in her house when you visit is up to the parents, and can be expected in order to show you respect the family with their way of living. If you are looking for a girl to sleep with, a Filipina is your LAST choice.

Filipinas who sleep with you will ONLY do so, once you are engaged. If she does otherwise, question things. If she sleeps with you before you meet her parents, my advice is to RUN. But this is your choice.

Know the culture of your Filipina, there are MAJOR differences between a girl in the city, and a girl in a village, or in the province. A province girl does not know how to use a knife. probably has never been to a restaurant, and returning to her village after leaving to come live with you, is complete shame to her. A Filipina who has children out of wedlock who is from the province is also shunned by her village. She is considered a "bad" influence on the girls in the village.

If a Filipina calls you her saviour, her Hero, she literally means it. Filipinas do not have many boyfriends, nor does a Filipina date many guys.For traditional Filipinas, this is against their culture. Dating is a very very very long and involved process even with an online relationship. A Filipina will be as wary of you, as you are of her.

It is how we met, that decides how things go. And many of the meetings all have the same thread. there was a meeting, and time spent learning each other. Some just knew, some did not know for a long time. It just depends on the relationship and the people.

Others care to pitch in on this question?

Wow. Seems like you know your fiance for ages. I noticed a lot of things from what you said but I will only point out 2:

First, you said... "Filipinas who sleep with you will ONLY do so, once you are engaged. If she does otherwise, question things." I'm just surprised to hear that from you because it shows in your timeline that you met your Filipina fiance and got engaged to her on the same day of your first meeting in person.Did you question things? I'm sorry if I sounded mean.. I know it's a case to case situation but I'll agree on that observation about Filipina because we got engaged 2 years after first meeting each other in person (the third trip in Philippines). Again, it's a case to case situation.

Second, you said... "Family is important to a Filipina, do expect to send money to support her parents aftrebecoming engaged or after marriage. If you think you are not going to do this. STOP NOW, you are heading for major issues." It depends on a Filipina too. My wife (then Fiance) was working when I met her and only resigned a few months before the wedding. She got savings and her family is not dependent on her. She never expected me to support her parents. She expects me to understand her when she wish to send some help to her family. She's a hard worker and her family are not dependent on me or her. Again, it's a case to case situation. I guess I'm just lucky to found someone who has an independent family (one who doesn't think DOLLARS).

It's true that every Filipina is different. Mine grew up in the province and worked in the city. Got her bachelor's degree and a stable job. I hope all your observations are true to the one you chose to marry. Good luck to you and your visa journey.

[PAGE 11 14]

[quote name='gretchen_darren' timestamp='1309260921' post='4749982

Filipinas are proud, they will not ask for money. they want love. they may struggle with things, but they will not ask for money. they wil just schedule times to talk with based on affordability. ..

A Filipinas Dad's Blessing is very very very significant to ...

Family is important to a Filipina, do expect to send money to support her parents aftrebecoming engaged or after marriage...

Filipinas ARE Fiathful and Loyal. BUT Filipinas ARE ALSO Insanely jealous. Do not fool yourself. When a Filipppina calls you her mahal ko, watch how often it is. Filipinas arereserved and not overly "lovey dovey".

Filipinas when they set their mind on you, take you to their family, friends, may walk around holding ...

Filipinas have very strict family values.

Filipinas who sleep with you will ONLY do so, once you are engaged. If she does otherwise, question things. If she sleeps with you before you meet her parents, my advice is to RUN. But this is your choice.

Know the culture of your Filipina, there are MAJOR differences between a girl in the city, and a girl in a village, or in the province. A province girl does not know how to use a knife. probably has never been to a restaurant, and returning to her village after leaving to come live with you, is complete shame to her. A Filipina who has children out of wedlock who is from the province is also shunned by her village. She is considered a "bad" influence on the girls in the village.

If a Filipina calls you her saviour, her Hero, she literally means it. Filipinas do not have many boyfriends, nor does a Filipina date many guys.For traditional Filipinas, this is against their culture. Dating is a very very very long and involved process even with an online relationship. A Filipina will be as wary of you, as you are of her.

It is how we met, that decides how things go. And many of the meetings all have the same thread. there was a meeting, and time spent learning each other. Some just knew, some did not know for a long time. It just depends on the relationship and the people.

Others care to pitch in on this question?

[PAGE 11 14]

Darren : obviously you are referring to your particular experience with your fiancee when you say "Filipinas are this..." or "Filipinas are that". So I would thank you to avoid generalizing your perceptions to the whole population of Filipino women.

Perhaps it would be better to say "My fiancee is...". Nobody would disagree with you (Except perhaps, your fiancee)

[yhang 20]

Darren : obviously you are referring to your particular experience with your fiancee when you say "Filipinas are this..." or "Filipinas are that". So I would thank you to avoid generalizing your perceptions to the whole population of Filipino women.

Perhaps it would be better to say "My fiancee is...". Nobody would disagree with you (Except perhaps, your fiancee)

:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

[gretchen_darren 67]

Maybe I am basing it off of My Fiancee a lot more then usual. However, I have noticed this in many of the girls there. But it must also be said, each Filipina is different. Some stick to their rules, no matter what. Some will through caution to the wind for a chance at a better life. Just like girls in other countries, some girls who want what they think is a "better life" went out and got it. To me, having a degree and earning money is not always a better life. To me, family is important sticking together through thick and thin. this is why I like my fiancee's village. Family is extremely important in her village and to her. She offered to work, I told her no. To me, my spouse and family matter more. (I already work some really crazy hours.) But that is my own preference and view as well as my fiancee's family views.

Let me say about the sleeping together. We slept in the same bed, and cuddled with clothes on.... nothing else. I was extremely surprised. Especially the first night, surprised me. It is why we were engaged the first night and I met family. Believe, I was up for almost 36 hours already. But I KNEW I wanted to marry my girl by the time I was talking with her godmother. I was engaged to my fiancee without ever having kissed her. Our first kiss was when going to bed. (Our first kiss in public was at the engagement party.) It is why all of the family was there that evening. So everyone would Gretchen and I were engaged. This way no one in the extended family would have a problem with me sleeping in Gretchen's home. I asked her about the sleeping, and at the hotel. That was the explanation I received. My Fiancee stated it was ONLY because we were engaged. Before I went there, I was already in love with her, We had talked so much, and knew each other so well. When we met, it was no different then our chats online. We were just able to hold hands, talk, and be close. As for "sleeping together in the biblical sense", that never happened on my first trip. Friday through Monday, we were constantly chaperoned plus Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday night. And those days we were not chaperoned, we had to be certain places at certain times. there was not a lot of time for "hanky-panky".

Yes, Filipinas are more into supported their parents then their brothers are. So you can expect a disparity between support from your filipina and her Filipino brothers, namely because they may be supporting their Filipina wives family, if at all. (the best way to help offset your support, is to bring them over later and get them good jobs, OR help them to get degrees there, or help them in the family business.) Depending on the Filipina, depends on what arrangements you make between yourselves. But don't let that arrangement fool you, she WILL still send money, she just may not tell you. If she is not sending money expect her to be more moody because her parents do, but do not understand. Her parents will respect your wishes, however, your "welcome" will not be as 'warm" back in the Philippines. (and if there are issues, do not expect to step foot inside the house over there. You may be ruler of your house, But the elder (oldest male) decides who is and who is not in the clan, and his orders rule. If you do not accept their values, you go not say in any matters. This is the same of hillbillies, (aka Hatfields and McCoys.) this is why a southerner has an easier time in the Philippines with a filipina wife. The "clan" is no different to him, he may just be one of the few "white guys" in clan.

Also, I had a Filipino roommate back in college. I was a third wheel in a room. the other two were best friends. Him and I were different. I was less mature, and just a hillbilly, not well knowledgeable in the world, and that affected him and I. We talked and I learned, but I was "stupid stupid person back then" of course his name was not something I want to say. There were nights he would clean me out in poker.

[Edrotar 8]

Maybe I am basing it off of My Fiancee a lot more then usual. However, I have noticed this in many of the girls there. But it must also be said, each Filipina is different. Some stick to their rules, no matter what. Some will through caution to the wind for a chance at a better life. Just like girls in other countries, some girls who want what they think is a "better life" went out and got it. To me, having a degree and earning money is not always a better life. To me, family is important sticking together through thick and thin. this is why I like my fiancee's village. Family is extremely important in her village and to her. She offered to work, I told her no. To me, my spouse and family matter more. (I already work some really crazy hours.) But that is my own preference and view as well as my fiancee's family views.

Let me say about the sleeping together. We slept in the same bed, and cuddled with clothes on.... nothing else. I was extremely surprised. Especially the first night, surprised me. It is why we were engaged the first night and I met family. Believe, I was up for almost 36 hours already. But I KNEW I wanted to marry my girl by the time I was talking with her godmother. I was engaged to my fiancee without ever having kissed her. Our first kiss was when going to bed. (Our first kiss in public was at the engagement party.) It is why all of the family was there that evening. So everyone would Gretchen and I were engaged. This way no one in the extended family would have a problem with me sleeping in Gretchen's home. I asked her about the sleeping, and at the hotel. That was the explanation I received. My Fiancee stated it was ONLY because we were engaged. Before I went there, I was already in love with her, We had talked so much, and knew each other so well. When we met, it was no different then our chats online. We were just able to hold hands, talk, and be close. As for "sleeping together in the biblical sense", that never happened on my first trip. Friday through Monday, we were constantly chaperoned plus Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday night. And those days we were not chaperoned, we had to be certain places at certain times. there was not a lot of time for "hanky-panky".

Yes, Filipinas are more into supported their parents then their brothers are. So you can expect a disparity between support from your filipina and her Filipino brothers, namely because they may be supporting their Filipina wives family, if at all. (the best way to help offset your support, is to bring them over later and get them good jobs, OR help them to get degrees there, or help them in the family business.) Depending on the Filipina, depends on what arrangements you make between yourselves. But don't let that arrangement fool you, she WILL still send money, she just may not tell you. If she is not sending money expect her to be more moody because her parents do, but do not understand. Her parents will respect your wishes, however, your "welcome" will not be as 'warm" back in the Philippines. (and if there are issues, do not expect to step foot inside the house over there. You may be ruler of your house, But the elder (oldest male) decides who is and who is not in the clan, and his orders rule. If you do not accept their values, you go not say in any matters. This is the same of hillbillies, (aka Hatfields and McCoys.) this is why a southerner has an easier time in the Philippines with a filipina wife. The "clan" is no different to him, he may just be one of the few "white guys" in clan.

Also, I had a Filipino roommate back in college. I was a third wheel in a room. the other two were best friends. Him and I were different. I was less mature, and just a hillbilly, not well knowledgeable in the world, and that affected him and I. We talked and I learned, but I was "stupid stupid person back then" of course his name was not something I want to say. There were nights he would clean me out in poker.

I was hoping this topic didnt take a left turn....So again share how you and your fiance met

Edited June 28, 2011 by Edrotar

[rlogan 2,036]

One thing to keep in mind is that the islands and peoples of the Philippines aren't as homogenous as a landlocked European country or the US. There are separate language and ethnic groups. The Muslim society, largely in the Visayas but especially Mindanao, have a different culture from the Catholic majority, and there are also remnants of tribal societies to this day like on Palawan but even a few places on Luzon too.

Darren is kind of giving the conservative provincial charicature. Things vary between metro Manila and Cebu or any other place with a lot of foreign interaction by comparison to, say, villages in the Mountain Province or Kalinga or whatever. In some of the remote villages I trekked to near Banaue, the girls would get down on their knees and bow their heads down when I approached, not moving again until I had passed. I'm trying to get my wife to learn from their example.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I was hoping this topic didnt take a left turn....So again share how you and your fiance met

Most couples here met online via an international dating site, so talking about why someone chose a particular dating site and what the criteria was for women who became members is part of the story here. Are there any Filipino men who use the site to find American women? Are there any American women who find Filipino men? It's a niche market - middle aged or older men pairing up with young Filipinas, and with that, all kinds of problems.

As for how I met my wife, we were introduced by mutual friends. These friends I had met from a previous trip to the Philippines, where I did get to know another Filipina that I connected to through one of those dating sites. That connection ended up being a disaster. I had used local dating sites (Lava and another one I can't remember) prior to trying an international dating site and the interactions with the women are much different in comparison. For example, on a local dating site, the interactions are very casual, cautious and lighthearted. You also have snowball's chance in hell with dating-up to someone who is ten times more good looking than you. With an international dating site, women will practically throw themselves at the men, regardless of his physical appearance. The reality is, that for many Filipinas who use those dating sites, it's a potential ticket out of a meager existence, so the men have the upper hand and therefore can date-up to girls who would never give them the time of day if they were living in the U.S..