RFE .. what fun

[gretchen_darren 67]

Tim/mav: Now you know WHY I AM CONFUSED.... According to my divorce decree, I could have marked single. However, I am not sure if that is allowable or would have been considered fraud.

I sent the divorce decree as stamped and received from my lawyer. It was not certified. I believe it was signed by the judge, but I left all of the copies with my fiancee in May by accident. So I cannot verify if it was or was not signed by the Judge now to know what I submitted. Plus since the webcam is out, i cannot even look at the papers to see. Frustrating. The one thing I know was not in the submission was the minute entry stating:

"It is ordered and settling in formal..."

(I left tax forms, copies of w-2's, dk-156, dk-156k, ds-157, I-134, pay stubs, copies of birth certificate, passport information and other information with my fiance to prepare her for the embassy interview. In that was my original of my divorce decree, one for her and the original plus copy for me. somehow when I gave her the packet, I missed pulling those out.)

Adding to confusion. I talked with USCIS tier 2 yesterday after getting the RFE.. They think it is just a typo and means for each party. But even they are not certain at this point. Noting she is marked as single. However, there was the question being asked if Gretchen and I are married.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Oh, and I found the minute entry by going to the courthouse....

I had been reading VJ for months (nearly a year) before I joined and placed my timeline.

I had also gone through fiancee immigration procedures in the summer of 2010. (lot of good THAT did me.)

Plus I had done filling out an I-129F and preparing but never filed for a girl in Odessa, Ukraine in August of 2010 (when my divorce was final) but when her and I met that same month it all fell through. She wanted a "Paris Hilton" Lifestyle which I flatly refused. I was taking Russian language tutoring for 4 months on a semi-weekly basis 500 feet away from where my fiancee's American "family" lives before we met. That is why I say my current fiancee and I meeting was more then fate. It was a series of unplanned co-incidences. It was going to happen. The meeting was just a matter of when.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Oh, and I found the minute entry by going to the courthouse....

I had been reading VJ for months (nearly a year) before I joined and placed my timeline.

I had also gone through fiancee immigration procedures in the summer of 2010. (lot of good THAT did me.)

Plus I had done filling out an I-129F and preparing but never filed for a girl in Odessa, Ukraine in August of 2010 (when my divorce was final) but when her and I met that same month it all fell through. She wanted a "Paris Hilton" Lifestyle which I flatly refused. I was taking Russian language tutoring for 4 months on a semi-weekly basis 500 feet away from where my fiancee's American "family" lives before we met. That is why I say my current fiancee and I meeting was more then fate. It was a series of unplanned co-incidences. It was going to happen. The meeting was just a matter of when.

I see Darren. So this is NOT your First Boat Ride looking for a wife Overseas. You have never mentioned this ever before.

Your above statement still leaves me confused. : I went through the Immigration Process in the Summer of 2010. (for the russian girl?) Now a Pinay.

Then, states "I Filled Out the I-129-F for her but Never Filed. Well, there is a record of it. Re: Passport (Cover to Cover) Or: whatever you might have done I don't know.

So, is the focus on this Russian Relationship, Exwife, or Gretchan for the RFE?

[gretchen_darren 67]

ok, let me answer the questions:

I think the focus is the ex-wife and divorce papers, plus the meeting with Gretchen in person. Making sure there was a meeting and engagement only. There was not a marriage as well. The photos of the engagement party can easily, easily lead you to believe in a marriage if you do not have a frame of reference. I am looking at the USCIS adjudicator point of view based on the RFE. Trying to leave what I know out. Looking at just what I gave them based on the RFE. (This is not something easy to do.) they will see the second trip as well after the filing because of the passport.

1) I talked with many Russian girls up until last august. I grew up on Ukrainian food as a kid. Lived in a heavy influenced Ukraine area as a kid. currently, I live in a predominantly Russian-Jewish area of phoenix. Not a lot of Filipinos in this area but i work in a dominant Filipino-Asian area of town.

2) The I-129F was never ever filed. The Russian dating service I was part of, took me through everything on how to file, what to do, how to fill out the forms, what steps you would go through, everything from A to Z. they even took you through the embassy processes showing you the steps your bride would go through. The dating service even had romance tours, but I was not a romance tour kind of guy. i am a one woman girl. I am looking for the one girl who believes in God, but is still rooted firmly on the ground.

Yes, I do have stamps in my passport, but until recently, you did not even get stamped for Mexico (which is a 3 hour drive for me) The I-129F was filled out for the girl because I thought she was the one until we met. Then it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. 10,000 miles from home and I did not know a single person. I spent 3 days on the beach alone just watching the waves roll in. I fit in so well no one knew I was a foreigner. Just say nothing, point for food, and grunt, you got it made. Know a couple of phrases and never get into any heavy dialog. I was so heartbroken because I had traveled for just one girl after finally being free. So far, I have had 10 absolutely miserable birthdays in a row. Be nice to have a good one this year.

3) the focus is Gretchen. i was looking for a girl who believed in the joining of two people together. The belief in God, the belief in which you are one together, and take care of each other. Your spouse is your greatest treasure. (in Russian, this translates to most valued treasure) Gretchen actually understands why I say this. I thank God for Gretchen many times a day.

My marriage had been 18 months of heaven followed by 10 years of hell. (I realized I had been trying to keep a marriage together with someone who did not want to keep the marriage together.) Then when finally free, i thought I had "found" a girl only to find we did not match up. She wanted to come to America, be a "princess Lady Hilton", not be my bride. After being so heartbroken by the Russian girl, I was just learning the Russian language. None of the stories for Russian Girls ever came true for me. I met Gretchen purely by accident. i was taking Russian language lessons at the time. I am looking to go to college for my PhD. Gretchen's "family" lives 500 yards from where the Russian tutoring is. Gretchen and I met in chat at FilipinoCupid, but, we barely even talked on there for 10 minutes. Then we started talking on our own, finding out she had "family" right here. I met up with them, started talking with them. Gretchen's dad and mom met me online and I talked with them. Gretchen's dad gave us His Blessing. I never understood how much that meant until I studied their culture. If Gretchen's dad had said no, I would have been out. I have the greatest respect for Gretchen's Dad. I treat him as if He was my dad. (just as my dad treated his mom's dad. Many times I heard my dad call my mom's dad - "dad") The first time I met her "family" in Phoenix, we started at 3pm and went on until midnight talking. Many times it is like that when I get together with them. We just have fun. then when I was over there meeting her, we were up until the late hours of the night talking. I had been up 36 hours straight just getting to her, and then slept in her village that night. We spent many days in the village on my first trip. There are not a lot of receipts. It was just time with Gretchen and her family, for all of us to get to know each other. I gave Gretchen's dad 40,000 php for an engagement party held at her house so as much of the family could attend as possible. there were two dinner settings, plus bag meals for the kids. (ALL the kids in the village were fed that night. I even helped bag the meals. the meals were noodles, rice, and menudo.) I do not have a single receipt for the party. All I have is ATM withdrawals, a few bus passes, and some other receipts. I had a hotel room, but was hardly ever there. Much of the time was in the village at Gretchen's house. Showing how much I respected Gretchen's family.

5) I love the Russian food, it was easy for me. But pig's knuckles, fried pork skin, octopus, squid, sardines, fermented duck eggs, filipino cabbage soup is not something I have a taste for. I am learning. I like the shrimp, lobster, crab, beef caberita, tapa, vinegar fish, bangus, fried chicken, BBQ ribs. I can eat rice for each meal. But I also believe in family. Very very deeply believe in family. This is two traits of Russian and Filipino cultures.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Darren, Your a Big Goofball. (With a Big Heart) You once stated in a Post: Gretchen may only be 19 years Old but acts 10 times more mature than most 40 year old American Women. I observed the Video. (I like the Video) I said Mav, Look at the Video and what do you see. (Pinay to Pinay) She said a 19 year old and silly. But, thats OK. It's whatever you see that counts. Get past these RFE's. And Darren, start being logical in your thoughts.

[Andy and Pui 16]

Darren, look at the RFE as a blessing in disguise. It sounds like to me you have everything to complete the RFE. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

P.S. Do not think to much.

P.P.S. Tim/Mav if Gretchen likes the Snoopy shirt let him wear it he wants. I know when Pui gets here on Thursday I will be getting a room full of her Doraemon things but if it makes her happy I do not care. I'm just happy it is not Hello Kitty or something pink .

[gretchen_darren 67]

LOL...Hello Kitty or something pink ... When I tok some clothes to her in May.. I had some fun.... I took her some dresses from windsor, JCPenny, Tilly's, Wave, Marchall, and yep, Wal-Mart. I took her a beach towel which is like a blanket to her. And yes, she kept on teasing about a white bikini.... so I took her a Hello Kitty white bikini. ...(among others) So far I have seen her in many dresses , but not seen her any of the bikinis ,... but also, have not heard anymore teasing about it either....

BTW: That is my favorite video because we were just being silly. I was leaving in two hours to come back to USA again without her. Instead of saying "bye bye", I asked her to say "hi". (the first time I left she cried all night before I left, and a couple of days afterwards. This time she did not cry the night before, so I was trying to keep it that way.) My favorite memory is her with my carry-on saying "bye bye" like she was leaving. wish I had recorded it. Did you look at the other videos? See if Mav can translate what is being said, she will probably get a kick out of it... "want to see THAT white guy" is in one of them.

[Andy and Pui 16]

One of Pui's friends likes Hello Kitty and has that all over her room and all the walls are painted pink. Even Pui said that is to pink for me.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Seems like the RFEs are an easy fix. Send it in and you will have your most coveted NOA2 this July!

[TiklingGuy 211]

When I was a Child in School and had to get there by Bus. Seems everyone rode that big Long Bus. When the Bus picked me up. it was a short one. I felt Special. It even had Chrome Wheels and the Big Bus Did'nt.

Darren, you read posts and google for answers. But, make the mistake of putting them together ONLY the way You Want To Read It.

Kidding, never rode the short bus but have close friends who did and still friends today.

Hahahahahaa! Lol!

[Tim/Mav 305]

LOL...Hello Kitty or something pink ... When I tok some clothes to her in May.. I had some fun.... I took her some dresses from windsor, JCPenny, Tilly's, Wave, Marchall, and yep, Wal-Mart. I took her a beach towel which is like a blanket to her. And yes, she kept on teasing about a white bikini.... so I took her a Hello Kitty white bikini. ...(among others) So far I have seen her in many dresses , but not seen her any of the bikinis ,... but also, have not heard anymore teasing about it either....

BTW: That is my favorite video because we were just being silly. I was leaving in two hours to come back to USA again without her. Instead of saying "bye bye", I asked her to say "hi". (the first time I left she cried all night before I left, and a couple of days afterwards. This time she did not cry the night before, so I was trying to keep it that way.) My favorite memory is her with my carry-on saying "bye bye" like she was leaving. wish I had recorded it. Did you look at the other videos? See if Mav can translate what is being said, she will probably get a kick out of it... "want to see THAT white guy" is in one of them.

I tried to look up U-tubes : THAT white guy.... It did'nt show. Be more specific. I'm sure Mav would want to see it. LOL

[Tim/Mav 305]

Thats Funny about the Bikini. The Majority of Pinays will Not wear them in Public at all. Shorts (covering half the upper leg) And a full top that covers the Navel Area as well. I knew this ahead of time.

I tried to buy her one that was shorts but Bikini Style and a Top. THE ANSWER WAS: No No No HINDI. So, the hell with that.

[gretchen_darren 67]

it is said, not the title. it is in one of the house videos on my site or the walkaround or waiting to cross.. not sure which... there is a lot Visayan/Tagalog in the house videos (it was when I first got there.) It is said in the video.

As for the bikinis, it will probably be when she gets here or when we go to manila around the hotel room at night. I have no idea what to expect when she gets here. When I was there all of her clothes plus personal items could fit in a carry on bag. All I know is she likes: JCPenny, Windsor, Wave, Tilly's, and Wal-Mart clothes. I have yet to figure out jeans, shorts, pekpek shorts, Tops, and undergarments. (her dad thought I had brought some lingerie on my second trip there. I think he was surprised when I didn't. Told him: waiting until we are married.) The best place I have found to shop for her is the Mills Mall. Her size is in every store.

For the RFE, I am seeing if Gretchen can get the CENOMAR quickly as well. See if I can get a copy of it to send in with the RFE. I am going to get everything I can otarized on Monday.

As for the bedroom, I can take it being pink walls, as long as there is an animal print shag carpet, lights on the walls, mirror on the ceiling, and purple satin sheets with a Spanish style bed. (Some wrought iron - maybe leather - in the headboard/footboard wouldn't hurt either.)

[southcalhog 43]

Darren I looked at the photos of you and your Fiancee in her Village. You seem to me to real Happy.All i can say is, You a BIG GUY, With a BIG HEART, Like Tim says!

[gretchen_darren 67]

not a BIG guy, just made to look BIg by being around so many "small" people.... my clothing size is next to impossible to find there. I only look big, because their normal size is xtra small to small for a girl, and small to medium for a man. With a guy lucky if he is 5'5". the average height for a girl is 4'10" Put a "normal" guy there and even a Nerd would look big. But thanks though.....