Cohabitation

[Not Michael Buble 0]

Hi everyone, this is a great resource and I'm glad i found it. I need your help and hope you can advice on the route to go

I'm married to a USC and we reside in 2 different states. I'm in the NorthEast and she's in the Midwest. We got married this Jan and will be applying for AOS shortly (anytime from now).

Our marriage is valid and for all the right reasons, but I am a bit fearful of one thing - not living together.

Due to our jobs & the economy, neither of us can just up and leave our current jobs and relocate just like that. We however plan to move in together in July/August (more likely August, she's coming to the NorthEast).

So my dilemma is, how do we approach the lack of "cohabitation"? We see each other every 3-4 weeks, communicate almost constantly via phone and text and email. We have most of the other proofs of marriage validity - joint account, car title, health insurance for my state.

If our interview date is after we move in and sign a lease, there's no problem BUT if it's before then...

Any suggestions, any one else in my shoes (or similar) OR any advice is appreciated~

Thanks!

[SqdnGuns 21]

Hi everyone, this is a great resource and I'm glad i found it. I need your help and hope you can advice on the route to go

I'm married to a USC and we reside in 2 different states. I'm in the NorthEast and she's in the Midwest. We got married this Jan and will be applying for AOS shortly (anytime from now).

Our marriage is valid and for all the right reasons, but I am a bit fearful of one thing - not living together.

Due to our jobs & the economy, neither of us can just up and leave our current jobs and relocate just like that. We however plan to move in together in July/August (more likely August, she's coming to the NorthEast).

So my dilemma is, how do we approach the lack of "cohabitation"? We see each other every 3-4 weeks, communicate almost constantly via phone and text and email. We have most of the other proofs of marriage validity - joint account, car title, health insurance for my state.

If our interview date is after we move in and sign a lease, there's no problem BUT if it's before then...

Any suggestions, any one else in my shoes (or similar) OR any advice is appreciated~

Thanks!

Do you have anything that is in both or your names? Bank accounts, credit cards, car loans, etc? If not, get some NOW!

Just document everything and have a prepared letter explaining everything about the cohabitation situation, be sure to have the letter signed by both of you and both be present at the interview.

Other will probably have more and better advice than I.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

It has happened before. It is a negative factor, but it can be overcome. Just be honest. Good luck.

[Oshun 3]

My situation is very similar to yours in that for over a year my husband and I lived apart. I lived in the midwest, and he in the NE and I finally moved last year. So we have a 2.3 year marriage but only 1 year worth of common 'stuff.' This is what I've gathered to help explain the time apart (mind you, we have not yet filed but will in a few weeks).

1. Had my former supervisor write a letter stating that I had been trying to move/transfer to be with my husband - it finally happened so yipe! . If she can get something like this from her supervisor, that may be helpful. *Any independent testimony is better than family members that the USCIS may feel would do so just to help you out....

2. Got all my phone records showing that we talk/text everyday. The oldest I have is from mid 2009. You incurred expenses traveling back and forth since you see each other every 4 weeks (plain tickets or even gas receipts, EZ pass?). All this can show that you made a lot of effort to see each other.

3. All our current documents are joint evidence and strong pieces so, once I moved, we did all the things that loving couples do. Open up back accounts.... and fight about money

4. Its life. We love each other and it will show. I have evidence showing we did everything we could to finally live together, and now we do...

My advice is that if you can wait till your spouse moves.... WAIT. I only say this because I would think its easier to prove to someone that you will do anything to be with your love, once you've succeeded in doing the 'anything.' If you are on a work visa and it doesn't expire for some time, you have nothing barring you from waiting before you file.

If you wish to get it done sooner rather than later, you still have evident showing you love each other and can still be successful without any obstacles.... Just be prepared to answer those questions and show all that you have done to be together and you'll be fine. Good luck!!

[CrownMan 1]

this sounds interesting

[H1983 1]

Copies of phone records which show SMSs and call logs, texts, cards, mail.

At the end of the day, I reckon that the people who do these interviews know a sham when they see one. I have no doubt that they can recognize a couple telling the truth vs. people who seem too good to be true as they have made everything 'perfect' for the sake of the AOS process.

Good luck and have faith - USCIS are real people too!

Edited April 1, 2011 by H1983

[Oshun 3]

@H1983: I think you are corect to some extent. The OI's are indeed human too but remember, humans are also prone to human error. Being prepared is important because of this fact, and because we are dealing with someones life, its important to look at the overall picture when presenting your case. Before I got on this site, I assumed 'they will know as soon as they see us together that we are in love.' But now I realize that the burden is on us to prove our 'case' and that should not be taken lightly.

Perhaps, I am a worry wart but I would certainly encourage anyone to be as prepared as possible because the 'scam' marriages out there are the ones that make this process so stringent so we are essentially ALL looked at as guilty until proven innocent.

Just my 2 cents....

[Dakine 26]

AS OSHUN MENTIONED!

My advice is that if you can wait till your spouse moves.... WAIT. I only say this because I would think its easier to prove to someone that you will do anything to be with your love, once you've succeeded in doing the 'anything.' If

They do sometimes make home visits!!

Edited April 1, 2011 by Dakine

[Little_My 464]

As much as I do agree with previous posters who have advised you to wait to file until you two are actually living together, I still think that living separately does not necessarily have to be a deal breaker and it doesn't always mean that the couple is not willing to do enough to be together.

We all know what the situation with the US economy (and world economy) is. We know that leaving your job in this situation is beyond risky. Things happen in life that are not always foreseeable, and then we deal with them to the best of our abilities. As much as all dating / engaged / married couples who are sincerely in love would like to be together as much as possible, sometimes it just takes longer to get to that point due to reasons beyond our control - crappy economy and huge unemployment rates being some of those reasons.

Put together anything you can think of to prove that even though you two are not living together, your marriage is valid. Phone records, email correspondence, letters, joint bills (insurance, phone bill), ticket stubs if you have traveled together, ticket stubs of one of you traveling to see the other person.. what ever you can think of. Have your wife's friends / family / whoever you can think of write sworn affidavits stating that they are aware of her looking into possibilities to move to where you are, if she has spoken about this at work have someone from her work write an affidavit.

It will be harder for you, since living together is almost automatically assumed for married couples. However, there are situations where couples just have to be separate for a while.

If you don't have any other red flags, I think you have a good shot. You just need to be very careful when putting together the package, and be prepared to answer questions at the interview about your situation, especially if by then you have not made concrete plans to move together.

Waiting would be good - but i understand why you don't want to wait. What visa is your wife AOSing from? And when does her current legal stay here expire, without the AOS? (she is the intending immigrant, right?)

[Not Michael Buble 0]

Thanks Mrs Finland, your words of advice are very encouraging. All the best!