Age difference a problem?

[Ana and Dan 0]

True.

One thing that is helpful and you will need to consider is the rules in your state with regards to age, it is different in each state.

Since you did not fill any data in your profile it is harder for us to know your situation.

So here is a chart and the rules for all 50 states, you have to comply by the rules in your jurisdiction before USCIS will consider your case.

http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm

Interesting, I had always thought the age was for getting married without parental consent was 18. But there are some states that will not let you make your own decision until you are 19, or even 21. Probably a good thing.

[KarenCee 3]

In some countries, like Thailand apparently, parental consent is needed under the age of 20. As for other states in the US, I'm not sure but I do believe that parental consent is needed for under the age of 18. Just MHO.

[Ana and Dan 0]

In some countries, like Thailand apparently, parental consent is needed under the age of 20. As for other states in the US, I'm not sure but I do believe that parental consent is needed for under the age of 18. Just MHO.

Yes 18 minimum with parental consent, but there are several states where 18 still isn't old enough. Some states require you to be 19-21 before you can make that big decision on your own.

Edited September 3, 2006 by Ana and Dan

[crow_dio 0]

Thanks for the overwhelming number of responses. The more information from more sources the better!

One of my original worries was that the age difference would be a problem due to her particularly young age. The discretion of the screening is really what I was trying to gauge from that question. There seems to be some disagreement about this among some of the responses, but the overriding opinion appears to be that it should be OK.

Also, I am happy to hear that there is agreement on the waiting until she is 18 to sign the paperwork. I imagined this particularly would be logical to wait for. One part of that though, I am still uncertain about is the "legal to marry" part. I do not live in Mississippi or Nebraska so 18 is legal where we will marry in the US. I can easily get parental consent from her parents but is this necessary? I am not getting married in Thailand so do I need to abide by their marriage laws?

In response to some of the initial posts that addressed the question of a "legitimate" or "genuine" relationship. I have had constant contact with her for exactly five months now, of which I have been co-existing with her for the past 3 months. If the visa would ever be issued, we will probably be looking at at least 9 months together before we ever even buy plane tickets, possibly up to 1 year together before we hit US soil. In terms of relativity, this would appear to me to be "genuine" and "legitimate." I do understand that this is a short amount of time by Western standards, but that wasn't really my question. Considering that the K1 application simply wants to know that you have "met within two years", I would definitely consider the relationship "legitimate" in relative terms. The responses seemed to fade off of this point, but the first few definitely began to worry me.

Also, in response to those telling me to take time, I appreciate your concern. I do realize that she particularly is young and time and care must be exercised in making these big decisions. The K1 provides for 90 days in the US, of which we will use to make sure that she wants to live there. Knowing that she would want or not want to live in the US is part of the process of planning our future. I do not feel as if I am rushing this too much. As you all here know, there is plenty of time to wait for the visa once it is applied for. Primarily, I just want to take advantage of time and have our options available ASAP, but I want to leverage this against the best chances of having the visa accepted. Our ages and the judgement of a legitimate relationship factor into this, so that's what I need to gauge now.

So, where I stand now is:

1.) DEFINITELY waiting until October when she turns 18 to fill out paperwork.

2.) Figuring out if I need to satisfy the requirements of a Thai marriage (parental consent under 20) even though I am not getting married in Thailand. 18 is fine for my state.

3.) Continue gauging the discretionary attitudes of the age situation, which from the board seems to be reassuring that it will be OK.

Am I missing anything?? There were a lot of posts so I am just trying to summarize. Thanks so much to you all for your input. The information given was quite invaluable. Sorry this was so long!!

[Teachers 12]

One of my original worries was that the age difference would be a problem due to her particularly young age.

I do not live in Mississippi or Nebraska so 18 is legal where we will marry in the US. I can easily get parental consent from her parents but is this necessary? I am not getting married in Thailand so do I need to abide by their marriage laws?

In response to some of the initial posts that addressed the question of a "legitimate" or "genuine" relationship. ... I do understand that this is a short amount of time by Western standards, but that wasn't really my question. Considering that the K1 application simply wants to know that you have "met within two years", I would definitely consider the relationship "legitimate" in relative terms. The responses seemed to fade off of this point, but the first few definitely began to worry me.

The K1 provides for 90 days in the US, of which we will use to make sure that she wants to live there. Knowing that she would want or not want to live in the US is part of the process of planning our future. I do not feel as if I am rushing this too much.

So, where I stand now is:

1.) DEFINITELY waiting until October when she turns 18 to fill out paperwork.

2.) Figuring out if I need to satisfy the requirements of a Thai marriage (parental consent under 20) even though I am not getting married in Thailand. 18 is fine for my state.

3.) Continue gauging the discretionary attitudes of the age situation, which from the board seems to be reassuring that it will be OK.

I think your original concern is valid. You face multiple requirements. You easily meet the "meet within 2 years" requirement. But the "legitimate" question is tougher. There you face the very real likelihood (my guess) of being judged by US standards. Having her parents support would you make you look more like a "normal" US couple, where the parents of the bride support the marriage. I also think this is a wise thing for the future of the marriage. You've got the time. You're in the right place. So I'd try to get that, and have it documented.

Also, realize that the whole IMBRA hassle came up because of the concern about protecting (young) foreign women from abuse by (older) American fiances. Thus your/her interviewer may press this issue more these days. Having more evidence than you need could possibly make a difference. (If your ages were 37 and 27, I would expect this to be much less of a concern. But this is just my speculation.)

Be careful not to use too much of your 90 days to wait until getting married. AFTER you get married, you need to get official documents, which may take a couple of weeks. You then have to submit them within the 90 day window. My fiance and I plan to get married in the first 30 days to make sure that we have enough time to take the next steps without rushing.

What is your plan B if she does not like the US? If it is to marry anyway and live outside the US, then marrying first (with her parents' support) and using a K3 might avoid some of these questions.

Good luck to the two of you.

Tom

[Mew 0]

In response to some of the initial posts that addressed the question of a "legitimate" or "genuine" relationship. I have had constant contact with her for exactly five months now, of which I have been co-existing with her for the past 3 months. If the visa would ever be issued, we will probably be looking at at least 9 months together before we ever even buy plane tickets, possibly up to 1 year together before we hit US soil. In terms of relativity, this would appear to me to be "genuine" and "legitimate." I do understand that this is a short amount of time by Western standards, but that wasn't really my question. Considering that the K1 application simply wants to know that you have "met within two years", I would definitely consider the relationship "legitimate" in relative terms. The responses seemed to fade off of this point, but the first few definitely began to worry me.

The legitimacy questions comes into play when your fiance has the interview. Then you'll be asked to show proof of ongoing relationship. Start gathering everything you can - e-mails, bills or letters showing that you live in the same place, take lots of pictures, maybe ask family members of friends write statements saying that to their knowledge you are in a relationship.

[Yodrak 7]

crow_dio,

If this is what you are looking for, I told you where you can get information based on extensive experience dealing with the Immigrant Visa unit in Bangkok.

Yodrak

...

One of my original worries was that the age difference would be a problem due to her particularly young age. The discretion of the screening is really what I was trying to gauge from that question. ....

Edited September 4, 2006 by Yodrak

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Also for proof of on going..I use Western Union(I know not the cheapest) I just send money to her for airmailing back some Doc's that needed signed.. I'll use the Western Union email Reciept as one of the proofs of on going relationship..

crow_dio,

If this is what you are looking for, I told you where you can get information based on extensive experience dealing with the Immigrant Visa unit in Bangkok.

Yodrak

...

One of my original worries was that the age difference would be a problem due to her particularly young age. The discretion of the screening is really what I was trying to gauge from that question. ....

[anya-D 8]

So, where I stand now is:

1.) DEFINITELY waiting until October when she turns 18 to fill out paperwork.

2.) Figuring out if I need to satisfy the requirements of a Thai marriage (parental consent under 20) even though I am not getting married in Thailand. 18 is fine for my state.

3.) Continue gauging the discretionary attitudes of the age situation, which from the board seems to be reassuring that it will be OK.

Am I missing anything?? There were a lot of posts so I am just trying to summarize. Thanks so much to you all for your input. The information given was quite invaluable. Sorry this was so long!!

umm.. I think you still need her parent's consent eventhough you are notplaning to marry in Thailand.. the reason why I think ike this is because you will need to show you and her's intent to marry at the interview and she would still be under 20 of age. and the interview will be in Thailand... well.. please check about this with the immigration atterny Yodrak recommended to you.

In my opinion though.. she's too young right now to be married and make the decision... (I'm Thai.. so dont get me wrong) I think the mature level of Thai and American are very different in such young age..But I dont know her so.... I wish you the best though..

Edited September 4, 2006 by anya-D

[jamie_naina 0]

In my opinion though.. she's too young right now to be married and make the decision... (I'm Thai.. so dont get me wrong) I think the mature level of Thai and American are very different in such young age..But I dont know her so.... I wish you the best though..

I completely agree with anya-D. I don't mean to offend you or criticize your decision. As I'm Thai too, I think getting married at the age of 17 is a little bit too young, since 17 year-old Thai and 17 year-old American are totally different in the degree of maturity. But, again, she may be more mature than her age.

One more option: it might be better if she applies for a tourist visa. Since she's 17-18 years old, this means that she's still either in high school or university, it's easy to apply for B1/B2 visa as being a student is a very strong evidence of ties that she'll definitely return to Thailand. Then she goes to visit you, so she'll get the picture of life in America. While she's in America, if she's positive with marriage, you can file the petition, then she'll return to Thailand which would be the same time of an interview with the embassy.

Good luck

[ready4ONE 5,400]

So, where I stand now is:

1.) DEFINITELY waiting until October when she turns 18 to fill out paperwork.

2.) Figuring out if I need to satisfy the requirements of a Thai marriage (parental consent under 20) even though I am not getting married in Thailand. 18 is fine for my state.

3.) Continue gauging the discretionary attitudes of the age situation, which from the board seems to be reassuring that it will be OK.

1.) Yes, very wise! She must be eligable to marry you when she writes her letter of intent.

2.) Parental consent strengthens your case! So if they are happy with the idea, add a letter from them and it can only assist your efforts.

3.) There are much larger gaps in ages which have been approved. You are young as well, and there is not going to be a huge issue with your case that she is young.

Sticking to points 1 and 2 will do wonders for your case. Good luck on the journey!

[crow_dio 0]

Thanks again for all the responses!

Yodrak, I will definitely contact the resource that you have provided. Thanks again. I just want to get the most of the information here that I can.

I have already contacted my fiance's mother regarding a letter of parental consent and she said she will look into it now for us. I may have to contact a lawyer for that, to see exactly what needs to be stated, signed, notarized, etc. Whether or not that is required seems to be undecided among posters here, but regardless, I will get it so it shows that her parents support the marriage.

Also, I do appreciate the concern of those who advise waiting to get married. I have heavily weighed this decision and it will be about a year of us being together before she even gets to the US, where we will ultimately decide whether or not we want to live in the states or return to Thailand. But I do understand the advice given and heed it.

[bombay 0]

You surely should wait till she is 18

otherwise the age difference should not be an issue.

best of luck .

[marconoahu 0]

I'm planning to marry my girlfriend she's a filipina, 20 years old and must have a letter or a form. I can't really tell. Does anyone have an example or if it a form then where can I get a copy.

Philipine Law:

Parents' Consent (for 18-21 years old) or Parent's Advice (for 21-25 years old): Under Philippine law, the legal age for marriage is 18. If the contracting parties are between the ages of 18 and 21, they must present written consent to the marriage from their father, mother or legal guardian. While any contracting party between the age of 22 and 25 must present written parental advice, i.e., a written indication that the parents are aware of the couple's intent to marry.