wife went on vacation

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

I don't think this is considered kidnapping when you are returning the child to its home and you never gave permission to have the child live elsewhere in the first place. I think there are PI's, legal ones, you can hire to do this too. If it's illegal, hmmmm. If it's not moral based on some people's standards, I would certainly do it for my child. See it how you think. I have kids and have no plans of living without them, even if that meant living there or bringing them back home.

Of coarse, working it out with her would be the first and best option.

If he was living there, who would have rights to the child? Would it really be considered kidnapping with him as the husband and father? Only in America. Wouldn't he be the one with the rights in the Philippines? Maybe not. It still wouldn't stop me from trying.

OP. If it's illegal, don't do it. Follow the Philippine laws and let someone else raise your child.

-James

I doesn't always have to be illegal in the US.. I recall a situation with a Dutch (and I believe some other nationality as well) mother and an American father who had a Dutch-American daughter. This girl had been living with the mom for several years and Dutch court granted her citizenship. Then out of nothing the father came and took the girl to the US. The Dutch were screaming kidnapping after which the father went to a US court (by himself and without the mother being able to be there) where the judge automatically ruled in favor of the father. The Dutch couldn't do a thing about it anymore.

If you ask me it is a seriously messed up situation, and the father should never have been able to take the kid back to the US without the mother's consent but he did. In my book that could be kidnapping but the US court ruled different and simply said he was within his rights since it is a US citizen.

Hopefully the OP can get his wife back to the US or at least get some common grounds.

[Haarp425 26]

I doesn't always have to be illegal in the US.. I recall a situation with a Dutch (and I believe some other nationality as well) mother and an American father who had a Dutch-American daughter. This girl had been living with the mom for several years and Dutch court granted her citizenship. Then out of nothing the father came and took the girl to the US. The Dutch were screaming kidnapping after which the father went to a US court (by himself and without the mother being able to be there) where the judge automatically ruled in favor of the father. The Dutch couldn't do a thing about it anymore.

If you ask me it is a seriously messed up situation, and the father should never have been able to take the kid back to the US without the mother's consent but he did. In my book that could be kidnapping but the US court ruled different and simply said he was within his rights since it is a US citizen.

Hopefully the OP can get his wife back to the US or at least get some common grounds.

If he was caught by the Dutch authorities before the plane left the Dutch airport to USA, the outcome may have been different.

[JeroenAndMichelle 28]

If he was caught by the Dutch authorities before the plane left the Dutch airport to USA, the outcome may have been different.

That is true indeed, there have been a lot of negative comments about that process, why nobody asked questions as to why someone with a US passport brought a kid with a Dutch passport across the border.

But, I guess they never really learned. I've been back to the Netherlands with my (dual-citizen) daughter, but only using her American passport while I used my Dutch one. Nobody asked me questions anywhere, not in the US nor in the Netherlands. I did have a consent form of the mother with me but they never asked anything.

[vbtbmrt 2]

well i dont plan on kidnapping. i will work with the court system if she dont return next month. thanks for all the comments and post. it all makes sense on both parts.

but yes i will fight till i have my son back in my arms and in his home

[rlogan 2,036]

she has agreed to come back after holy week like around may 15 or 22 i have to redo her ticket but putting it on hold for now. but ya i still have some red flags..like she wont talk to me she said she wanted a divorce if i dont file then she will .

A bit hard to decipher exactly but she isn't talking very much to you, if at all. She either said these two things (Come May 15; wants divorce) and that is about all she has said, or else these were communicated through other people.

she had measles or something before she was to fly back but before the she had some headache she said (her words ) the pain was so terrible for three days. her is something she posted on her wall

Do you think she was making that up? Stress can cause migraines and there is a skin disorder that is common there at this time of year.

im very happy to be here in my family in tacloban specially jayden his having so much fun here no one can give us happiness as much we have here. im tired of living in misery life....u cant please everybody and just look for somenone to tell you what best for you.

A pretty bad sign insofar as the relationship.

i wont go to the phils till she dont come back in may and i have custody on my son then i will go there and then fly back with him i really dont want to spend time in prison in the phils. yes it would be warm all the time for me but.

I think you are trying to say that if your son is not back by May, you will go to the Philippines. I think the wife and son are separate but related issues. She wants divorce. That may be beyond your control by now. You want custody of your son.

I would want to know if she is trying to file for permanent residency for your son. The son gets one full year stay passport stamp automatically because he entered with her. I think she can apply for extensions beyond that too. That would be my strategy if I were her - to immediately work to maximize his stay and work towards residency/citizenship.

I'd also stall you for as long as I could get away with.

Since divorce is way easier here that may be a strategy of getting her back here, but under the condition that your son returns.

yes my wife grew up in trditional way and yes i have yelled a few times and yes i didnt understand what this was doing to her and yes i have apoligized and taken all the blame am tring not to just freak out. i have another 1 1/2 month to go with the pain in my heart for my wife and son.

well i hope this has updated some of the post will be back sooner

She said that she would file for divorce if you didn't. It isn't easy if she files in the Philippines unless she's rich. I'd want to know if you can contest it and if so how. Depending on your state, she might be able to file from the Philippines, and might not. If you contest it, then she'll have to come. It involves custody.

Many Filipinas just leave their husbands and don't bother getting a divorce. They just live with the next guy. She might not think the inability to get re-married is a big deal. Regardless, it is much easier to divorce in the USA

What a blow. It would shatter me. Best of luck.

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

So you are advocating him kidnapping his child?

I hope the OP doesn't take your advice.

His wife kidnapped the kid so why can he not kidnap the kid back!

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

I would get on with my life...get a divorce based on deseration. Cut off all communications with her. may be hard at first but in the long run U will be so much better. Sounds as if she thought living in the USA was going to be like some kind of fairy tale. Change your telephone number and throw away any mail U might receive from her without opening it. Be a man...suck it up!

[jrmejia 31]

I would get on with my life...get a divorce based on deseration. Cut off all communications with her. may be hard at first but in the long run U will be so much better. Sounds as if she thought living in the USA was going to be like some kind of fairy tale. Change your telephone number and throw away any mail U might receive from her without opening it. Be a man...suck it up!

Easy to say but hard to do. Thumb down for you!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Easy to say but hard to do. Thumb down for you!

Junior? Did you feel a little guilty after you posted this?

The longer you're on VJ... the more honery you're becoming...

Edited April 8, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[tallcoolone 102]

What's wrong with this picture...

For one thing it has classic Filipina-speak like the abbreviation for Philippines (Phils), the grammatical error "be back sooner" and "custody on my son" and "till she dont come back in may"; "my wife grew up in trditional way"; "updated some of the post"; the mis-spelling of he's (his). The complete lack of punctualization, capitalization, and putting numerous sentences together as one run-on - that can happen with some Americanos too, but in the context of all the other evidence this looks overwhelmingly like it was written by a Filipina.

Maybe vbtmrt would like to explain that.

Why don't you take off your tin foil hat

[jrmejia 31]

Junior? Did you feel a little guilty after you posted this?

The longer you're on VJ... the more honery you're becoming...

But it is true. Letting some one goes is so hard tooooooooooooo do!!!

[tallcoolone 102]

I am a Filipina and I can give you some reasoning from your wife's mind:

1.) It's more fun in the Philippines, in general.

2.) I don't have the lifestyle stress here. The US life, really, is so stressful. on what:

a) I'm not washing my clothes and my baby's clothes here

b) I'm having fun with family, without thinking about what's for dinner.

c) I forgot how securing it is to speak my native language

Agreed, Philippines lifestyle is much better than US lifestyle.

[Haarp425 26]

His wife kidnapped the kid so why can he not kidnap the kid back!

One wrong cannot be corrected by another wrong.

I always tell my LPR friends not to do DUI, DWI, etc.

I also tell them that if they are in a situation where they have a confrontation with someone and then fights ensues, I tell them to either walk away or defend yourself but not offense. If someone hits you, do not hit back and beat the other person to a pulp because you will be charged as well with assault. You can tell the judge that the other person started it but still you will be charge with assault and if you are just an LPR, then it would not look good when you apply for USC.

[Laser1 63]

WOW i kinda forgot i wrote this post and surprised on all the action it has brought anyway i am not going to the phils yet. but a few of her freind talked some sence into her and she has agreed to come back after holy week like around may 15 or 22 i have to redo her ticket but putting it on hold for now. but ya i still have some red flags..like she wont talk to me she said she wanted a divorce if i dont file then she will . she had measles or something before she was to fly back but before the she had some headache she said (her words ) the pain was so terrible for three days. her is something she posted on her wall

im very happy to be here in my family in tacloban specially jayden his having so much fun here no one can give us happiness as much we have here. im tired of living in misery life....u cant please everybody and just look for somenone to tell you what best for you.

i wont go to the phils till she dont come back in may and i have custody on my son then i will go there and then fly back with him i really dont want to spend time in prison in the phils. yes it would be warm all the time for me but.

yes my wife grew up in trditional way and yes i have yelled a few times and yes i didnt understand what this was doing to her and yes i have apoligized and taken all the blame am tring not to just freak out. i have another 1 1/2 month to go with the pain in my heart for my wife and son.

well i hope this has updated some of the post will be back sooner

It sounds like she had a bad case of culture shock in the U.S.. With patience, you might be able to help her acclimate, if she returns.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I would get on with my life...get a divorce based on deseration. Cut off all communications with her. may be hard at first but in the long run U will be so much better. Sounds as if she thought living in the USA was going to be like some kind of fairy tale. Change your telephone number and throw away any mail U might receive from her without opening it. Be a man...suck it up!

Cut off all contact with mom. Throw away her mail. That's not being a man.

What you do to the mother, you do to the child.