What does relatively fast mean?

[Al422 221]

It can be the longest, but not necessarily. Consider the consular phase, AP (administrative processing), sometimes AOS, sometimes ROC... everybody's "journey" differs.

Yes, it could be, but not usually. There are horror stories of 6 months of AP or longer, but most of us don't get hit with that, and the ones that do usually get it done in 90 days or less.

And there have been horror stories at AOS. We usually don't think about that phase because by then she is already here, so we take a "mission accomplished" attitude. But I did read one story here where a couple was denied AOS because the adjudicator decided that her divorce from her former husband was not valid.

So yes, there are horror stories at every level. But I was focusing on likelihoods, not horror stories that are the exception and not the rule.

[VinhBao MyTam 3]

Such a discussion here would be entirely off-topic. This is not an internet dating discussion forum and we're not here to facilitate matchmaking. It's about immigration to the USA. Please let the man do his own dating. If he has immigration questions, he knows where to come ask them.

I respectfully disagree. The OP is asking a question about timing and has made several comments about not being a spring chicken and being concerned about the length of the process.

Since he seems to be open, it is only fair to inform him that there is a difference between countries in many cases for immigration purposes. I'm not trying to give any dating advice (that would be if I tried to talk about the characteristics of women from one country or another, but I didn't).

And if the OP was searching in a "high fraud" country, it would be very relevant to let him know that, since he is concerned about time. As you said, he seems to be employing a methodical approach rather than a whimsical approach. So, this is a definite immigration related factor in that approach. And all other factors not related to immigration are indeed up to him to figure out.

(And if my statement was construed as asking like which websites he was looking at, I apologize... it was only intended to ask which countries he was considering. I don't even know anything about those sites.)

Edited February 21, 2011 by VinhBao MyTam

[melvin% 1]

Well I would just like to thank everyone here for all the good advice. I have been printing the guides and reading them and there is a lot I don't understand but I think I'm starting to get it.

I do have one question right now though, what is a "high fraud country?" It sounds like something I want to avoid lol. Is there a list somewhere of which countries are high fraud and which ones are not? Thanks everyone and I hope you all had a great president's day!

[pushbrk 13,583]

Well I would just like to thank everyone here for all the good advice. I have been printing the guides and reading them and there is a lot I don't understand but I think I'm starting to get it.

I do have one question right now though, what is a "high fraud country?" It sounds like something I want to avoid lol. Is there a list somewhere of which countries are high fraud and which ones are not? Thanks everyone and I hope you all had a great president's day!

There's not a list but you can figure out which countries are poorer, and from which people are more tempted to commit fraud (marriage or visa) to get to the USA. Many of the more popular places to look for a mate, are medium or high fraud countries. The ones that tend to take extra time are the Middle East and North African countries. One of the easiest is Ukraine. The Philippines is also quite popular as is China. Vietnam is a difficult place to get a visa. Thailand, for a fiancee is pretty easy but for a spouse pretty hard.

Why not see where you internet dating takes you and figure it out from there. Again, the best way to get scammed is to use a marriage broker or a tour. Internet dating through dating websites is pretty straight forward once you learn to navigate the site or sites.

[VinhBao MyTam 3]

Well I would just like to thank everyone here for all the good advice. I have been printing the guides and reading them and there is a lot I don't understand but I think I'm starting to get it.

I do have one question right now though, what is a "high fraud country?" It sounds like something I want to avoid lol. Is there a list somewhere of which countries are high fraud and which ones are not? Thanks everyone and I hope you all had a great president's day!

I remember you said you had been looking in the Ukraine & Philippines. Based on Pushbrk?'s statement, they seem like pretty decent choices.

Just document everything, like dates of important things like first met etc, communications like emails, chat logs, letters, phone calls, etc... and other than that, spend your time enjoying getting to know someone. And when you've found the right one, VJ members can help you with the next steps.

[melvin% 1]

I remember you said you had been looking in the Ukraine & Philippines. Based on Pushbrk?'s statement, they seem like pretty decent choices.

Just document everything, like dates of important things like first met etc, communications like emails, chat logs, letters, phone calls, etc... and other than that, spend your time enjoying getting to know someone. And when you've found the right one, VJ members can help you with the next steps.

Well that sounds real good, thank you much sir! I started writing with a nice lady already so who knows, maybe my next steps will be pretty soon lol. I've got some more printing and reading to do now so I'll probably have more questions to go along with it thanks for your patience and have a nice evening.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Things to look at watch for:

1) does she ask for money?

2) how much does she mention in each letter or conversation?

3) does she pay attention to you?

4) does she tell you about herself and her life?

5) does she tell you about her family?

6) do you start talking offline out side of the website?

7) do you start talking on webcam?

8) do you start having regular dates on webcam?

9) how does she dress when on webcam? how does she act?

10) is she insisting you come and see her?

11) does she insist on a translator when you are there?

12) does she spend time with you?

13) does she spend time making sure you get to know each other?

14) is she appealing to you?

15) is she someone you can live with or live without?

16) does she tell you she loves you?

17) do her actions match her words? does she hold your hand, want to kiss you?

18) how does her family, friends, relatives treat you?

19) how does she spend her money?

20) if you sende her money, how is it spent? where does it go?

Look at how things are, both verbally, physically, mentally. Look at everything individually and as a whole. You will know what is right and wht is not. The key is if someone asks for money, it is not good. Also, if they do not respond to your letters, do not want to webcam, or do not try to invite you into their life, there may be problems. It is a relationship like any other. you just have to know how to read the signs as in any relationship to know if it is good or bad. It is not the countries anymore, but more the people. Above all, trust your gut. Iif something feels wrong, there probably is something your heart is telling you to listen to.