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westerngirl2004

Visiting boyfriend various times...getting thru customs?

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Hi everyone,

I am new to VJ, so I wasn't sure where to post this, but here is my story:

My boyfriend and I met about 5 years ago, while i was in undergrad. We became fast friends and started a relationship, visiting each other and each others families. Well we continued to be friends for the next few years (though we agreed to date other people, because it was too difficult to be together). In the past year we have decided that we want to be together and we have made our relationship work, even long distance. He works for an airline company and is able to travel to the US often (for cheap) and I am currently in grad school. Our plan was for me to finish school and continue visiting each other and traveling together. In January we both travled back to the states together (him on his visa) and we went thru immigration together, which maybe wasn't the greatest idea because the officer there wrote something in our file. Well that was about 3 weeks ago. 2 days ago I recently got back from a weekend trip to mexico to visit him (3 days abroad) and when returning to the states I was brought to a "random" search after entering the immigration area and they sent me to the customs officers. The customs officers bombarded me with questions, where was I? why did i go? who did i visit? Well in the course I told them I was visiting friends, they asked if i had paid for my ticket and i said no, (my boyfriend had paid for me to come visit for the weekend) and they proceded to ask me all kinds of questions about whether he gives me money etc etc. Well after the complete search, checking my address, making me right down my boyfriend's name and checking him they finally let me pass back into the states. What my question is, is now when my boyfriend travels to visit me (he is planning on coming for valentine's day) will there be problems at customs to let him pass thru the border? Can they take away his visa? He isn't planning to stay here, just to visit for a few days (as the usual) but this is the first time that we have crossed the border together and now our names are in some sort of database together... Is this going to be a problem for future trips? Should I have said he was my boyfriend? He told me not to because it would make it seem like he was going to come and stay here in the states. I know I should have been more honest but at the time i was just worried about everything that was happening. Please help! I can't imagine not seeing each other while i finish school! Thank you (sorry for the novel)

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Did they ask point blank if he was your boyfriend/sig other or did you just not mention him at all?

Lying to Immigration is always a bad idea. It could come back to bite you.


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As long as he has significant ties to his country I don't see why they would take it away. He just needs to take proof with him that he does not intend to stay and it should be alright. If he's never overstayed before they really have no reason to detain him. They might ask a lot of questions but I don't see it blocking him from coming in.


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Hi everyone,

I am new to VJ, so I wasn't sure where to post this, but here is my story:

My boyfriend and I met about 5 years ago, while i was in undergrad. We became fast friends and started a relationship, visiting each other and each others families. Well we continued to be friends for the next few years (though we agreed to date other people, because it was too difficult to be together). In the past year we have decided that we want to be together and we have made our relationship work, even long distance. He works for an airline company and is able to travel to the US often (for cheap) and I am currently in grad school. Our plan was for me to finish school and continue visiting each other and traveling together. In January we both travled back to the states together (him on his visa) and we went thru immigration together, which maybe wasn't the greatest idea because the officer there wrote something in our file. Well that was about 3 weeks ago. 2 days ago I recently got back from a weekend trip to mexico to visit him (3 days abroad) and when returning to the states I was brought to a "random" search after entering the immigration area and they sent me to the customs officers. The customs officers bombarded me with questions, where was I? why did i go? who did i visit? Well in the course I told them I was visiting friends, they asked if i had paid for my ticket and i said no, (my boyfriend had paid for me to come visit for the weekend) and they proceded to ask me all kinds of questions about whether he gives me money etc etc. Well after the complete search, checking my address, making me right down my boyfriend's name and checking him they finally let me pass back into the states. What my question is, is now when my boyfriend travels to visit me (he is planning on coming for valentine's day) will there be problems at customs to let him pass thru the border? Can they take away his visa? He isn't planning to stay here, just to visit for a few days (as the usual) but this is the first time that we have crossed the border together and now our names are in some sort of database together... Is this going to be a problem for future trips? Should I have said he was my boyfriend? He told me not to because it would make it seem like he was going to come and stay here in the states. I know I should have been more honest but at the time i was just worried about everything that was happening. Please help! I can't imagine not seeing each other while i finish school! Thank you (sorry for the novel)

It could be they are overly cautious since there has been so much drug traffic, though I do not know which airport you came thru...I would not worry too much, but I would tell them you are engaged and have a K1 visa in process, if they ask again that is!

Edited by Kimchimex

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Thanks for the replies. Hopefully it is just an overly cautious check b/c of drug trafficking. I flew into Detroit. I wonder if that makes a difference? He has ties to his country because of work and his car, but the house and bills are all in his parent's names. The good thing is he hasn't overstayed before and always returns to his country, he has no intention to stay here long term. I know its not illegal to have an international b/f but it just seems like they make you think it is. I hope that it all works out! I'm wishing for the best!

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I visit my husband in Mexico every week. When I go through the border I am bombarded by questions every time. Im asked "What were you doing in Mexico? Why is your husband there? Do you have any children? How long were you in Mexico? How frequently do you come? etc, etc, etc," Takes forever to get over every week! And of course my truck gets thoroughly searched also. Its no big deal. They are just trying to trip you up with all the questions..trying to catch you in a lie.

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There is only one way to find out.

Everything else is speculation.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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